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Kelsey Jan 15
Like a sandcastle built
With the ash from a flame
You're a monster inside
Masking all of your pain

Yes, you do.
It's not you.

Like the void of the world
You can't run, you can't hide
Then you promised to change
Now you're on a back slide

So, whats new?
Who are you?
Kelsey Jan 9
Every day and night

I fight for my life.

So every morning,

I can be proud

That I succeeded at something.
Kelsey Dec 2023
I feel like I'm grasping at straws that arent there.

Like I'm putting myself in the oven and wondering why its so hot.

Like I'm tuning out the real questions because I think I have it all figured out.

As if the meaning of life is too easy to understand, so I bury it just to find it again.

I am overflowing.

And it's all my fault.
Kelsey Dec 2023
When I was a girl, my mother used to tell me I had shooting stars running through my veins.

That any jolt in my chest or pain down my body was just a star carrying a large, important wish.

It didnt make sense to me, though.

How could a wish be painful?

But I trusted her.

She was my mother after all.

When I was afraid of the dark and looked for comfort,
She would say that I was an eternal light
and that the dark feared me more than I could ever fear it.

And whenever I would ask for something other than health and happiness,
She would instruct me to go outside and look at the night sky.

The vast sea of blackness that held my future, everyone I would ever love, and prosperity in turn for faithful actions.

I was abundant enough, she would say.

Those nights were similar to the one I will have tonight.

I can feel it.
Possibly the beginning of a new novel of mine.
Kelsey Oct 2023
Im deep in the throws of finding myself
Caught in the undertow
Tumbling under the surface
After a wave pushes me down
I cant see what direction is up
And what is down
Theres pressure from all sides
Pushing and pulling
Like children in masks
Waiting for you to choose them
Who am I without a clear path?
Who was I born to be?
Does it even matter?
Thoughts jumble and
Twist into knots
Its impossible to untangle
The truth
But they say the truth will set you free
Am I forever to be
A prisoner of my own indecision?
Of my own lack of insight
Into who i am?
Because it is scary,
Getting lost in the current,
And when I can finally come up for air
I hope it tastes sweeter
Than I remember
Kelsey Aug 2023
Before we die...
I want to know
That each moment meant something.
That our days weren't spent
Worrying about how clean the house was
Or how much money we needed
To buy a home, nice car or fancy clothes.
I want to know
That each day we gave it our all
Not to our jobs or reputations...
But to learning and laughing
With one another.
To experience a joy
That only exists when we do life together.
I want to know
That every second
We spent together
We experienced the true meaning of life..
And knew it.
For every blink, smile and breath,
We lived our lives truly, authentically
And the way it's always meant to be lived
With love.
A love that transcends the physical world
And follows us through infinite lifetimes.
Because life can't be lived without love.
And love is not love
Without you.
Kelsey Jun 2023
I was given a timeline
An unspoken timeline
A "if you dont do this, then..."
Timeline

You said I'm probably
Fine
That it doesnt make sense,
Im only 29

Now I cant help but think
Its a sign, its a sign
Just make the right choices
And the best will align

So whenever I wake up
With the sun and its shine
I know I can do it
Because its not my time
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