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Kelsey Jan 13
An arena of emotions dancing for an empty crowd
Kelsey Jan 10
I find myself thinking,
What was happening 7 years ago?
At this exact moment?
Was it the bombshell that my mother dropped on me?
That my dad tried to **** himself?
Was it watching my mother wail at the sky as we got ready to go to the hospital?
Was it me, praying the same prayer over and over again during the car ride up?
Was it me trying to calm myself down in the bathroom before i went any further?
Was it sitting in a secluded waiting room, anxiety-ridden, thinking "why wont they take me to him?"
Was it the nurse and the doctor that told me they tried everything they could but "he died"?
Was it my own cry that happened automatically because i was still in shock?
Or was it sitting at the bedside looking at you and not knowing what to say?
Was it me saying "im sorry" or "i love you"?
Was it my trepid feet not wanting to leave your room because i knew it would be the last time i saw you?

What moment was it 7 years ago?

I guess... my memory is failing me.
I think about this day often. The day my heart broke and shattered. I miss him so dearly and love him so much. Sometimes i wish I'd forget. And other times, i don't want to.
Kelsey Dec 2019
I made them laugh
I made them smile
I found my purpose
For a while

But they kept laughing
When I said nothing to chuckle
Then they stared and they pointed
As my knees began to buckle

"But I was useful"
That's what I thought
But a delusional clown
Fits in with naught.
Finding your place in a work setting can be difficult, especially when you're so different from your coworkers.
Kelsey Dec 2019
It is an emotion with all the power
I find myself saying,
I cannot live a fulfilling life
Without you.
I am happy.
Because I know,
This is what I've been waiting for
Can be read top to bottom or bottom to top, but love will always stay the same
Kelsey Dec 2019
Did I see a shooting star?
I shot up from my bed,
There was a white glowing dot racing through the sky.
Bigger than your average star
Faster, more elagant than a plane.
It soared diagnally across the sky.
I was in a daze.
A trail of sparkles and twinkle dust dispersed from its tail.
It went behind the trees, but I could still see for a moment.
Then it disappeared, into thin air.
No where to be found.
Not through the cracks of tree branches or by a gleam in the sky.
It was gone.
No destination or proper exit.
It left as mysteriously as it came.
I made my wish quick just in case it was meant for me,
"Please, I wish to be a great author"
Was that a shooting star?
Or a falling star?
Was it a star at all?
I wonder.
This just happened to me and I felt compelled to write about it. Magic appears when you least expect it. This meant a lot to me.
Kelsey Dec 2019
Dip me in health
I want to pause time
Where no one can hurt me
And i dont have to die

A picture of youth
A dappling of stars
A wind of the past
As i wait from afar

I am weak, i am frivolous
Heal my shameful body
So i can rise from the ashes
Where the sickness cannot stop me
Kelsey Dec 2019
Four walls
Two windows
One bed
Busy head

What I would give
For open pastures
And a calm mind
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