In the process of Failing to notice
That I was Falling in love with You,

My mind made you a part of me and
Now that I realize, I came so far and Loved so long,

I don't even remember what you were like,
All I have left is a figment of my stupid imagination and That!,
That doesn't even amount to a fraction of what you are.

Time Froze
The Wind Stopped
The Rustling leaves
The Whispering Trees
Their Falling Dews all stood still.

In the Second Floor Corridor.
I froze, I still am frozen right back on 28th of October 2017
The day I set my eyes on you,
You, You who looked at me as if i was more,
You, you thought i mattered and
All of a sudden across the 18 years of my life in this world,
My Life, It didn't feel so Meaningless.

And I froze right there in that moment,
I am not out of it, I Never think I will ever be.
That one Ferroro Roacher,
In That one glimpse,
In That one Moment,
With our eyes set upon eachother,
as if we were the only people in the world,
I froze,
I froze and I am still there.

People keep telling me I am working a lot but only I know if I stop doing what I do I am gonna keep falling for her all over again.

So I do, what I do.

When you lose someone, people say they don't probably deserve you or they are not worth it and stuff,

But deep down you know they were worth selling your soul.

No matter how lame or self-destructive the aspects of love are, we still would choose to feel the pain, the rage, the anger, the love, the kisses, the slightest touch on our waist and cheeks, the endless stare into the eyes filled with love that reflects the depth of an abyssal gorge, the never-ending feeling of wants and being wanted, because what more is there that sets us apart from the non-living elements of this world.

Grief of a love lost, has no timeline sometimes its just you with yourself fighting to find solace between the raging momentary whisks of anger and pointless sedition of your soul that irks to find the once long lost peace, You wish it has an end and rebel against the never ending !

The eternal sadness haunts.

Heart of fortune filled with frecklish love for solitude,
One minute i love all, the next i love nothing.
I dont know what my feeble heart desires.

Never would have lived through the time where the stars that aligned above the shades with none to watch if it wasnt for the enigma of love.

From floating adrift in a salt lake
To riding alone into the sunset  

Every corner of this gruesome world reminds me of you, I know you are not mine and you'll never be.

And maybe its time, I end this lonesome charade and bury my broken heart.

moments wrapped in romance that end with bitter sunrises and goodbyes
moments so fragile and rare that i wonder
if they would have the same taste if not such a delicacy
but i'd still devour you as i lay here and recall years of wavering emotions
suppressed desires and volcanic explosions that retreat into dormancy
i wonder could we ever flow together
or are we two twin souls finding each other in the wrong lifetime

We keep dreaming of Ifs and what ifs, Maybe if all ifs and what ifs happen we might still end in the same way and nothing might change and Yet everything lies in the wake of not understanding that no ifs or what ifs can be festerd into your present for its decided in your past.

And the prophecy calls me a heretic for claiming that the wider vision puts the hoax as a pursuit of distraction for herds to follow and while distractions, distractions are the ones that keeps the inner animals at bay, for all we are, are animals with distractions. Claiming to follow the noblest of all paths that are laid bare, before eyes, Eyes that lack vision, eyes that don't see beyond.

For Its a curse that i bare witness to and cross that I owe for letting the sheep's that are gutted for its shallow thoughts and fleeting distractions. I wish, I could unsee all that I see. I wish, I saw no pattern. I wish, the bigger picture was forever hidden and be gutted as one among the many.

In the process of finding ourselves
We lost each other.

No matter how much We want to go back,
We lost the one thing that mattered the most.

and Now there's nothing left to go back to.

I love you there is no bound for it interms of time ,length , breadth , area or size
All i know is that i love you.

She said

if it was that easy to forget your past and move on , would there be any respect for all the emotions like
Love, sympathy, empathy, longing loneliness, feelings, guilt, clamoursness or anything of such.

A regreteous haunting past is the only thing makes the ever new guilding present worthy of what it is.

your past is a measure of everything that shows how good of a survivor that you are.

My eyes sought a woman of my dreams, perhaps she was just meant to be in my dreams.

Loneliness will  be scary if you are uncomfortable being lonely with the person you are-_-some are really content and comfortable that way

Loneliness=>improvisation=>
improvised prospects=>improvising perspective=>you get where you are going:)
If you get comfortable alone you are definitely heading where you want to be:)

Oneday I will have it
I will have everything I have ever dreamt of,
I will be surrounded by the right people,
From that day on my path will no longer be devoid of love, people, happiness or success,
I will no longer feel the heavy breeze that reminds me that I am alone.




Hopes every loner.

I know not every knitty, chubby white skinned,
curly bird nested messy haired girl with
a cute piglet like face is you
but
I still catch up with everyone of them just to make sure
I don't miss you once again.

I think of you often  maybe it was because of the way you looked  at me,  like I was something that was worth looking into.

Now I am just longing for your eyes which I will never see.

I long for the way you turn your head towards me those are the memories that I will remember and cherish as long as I walk this Earth.


Loved you since we met.
Lost you  once when you died but I promise I will,...
I Will find you! again!!! and I will Love you thence.

Shared heaths of sunshine crisps and sweetened chips,
***** smiles and claspy hands,  
Silly slips along shady groves with silent kisses and secret hisses and
A million other little things led
A Severed heart to get lost on a silvered beach with the one it loved.

And thus here I stand.
Looking for my lost drowning dead heart along the voids she left.

Missing
♡
Looks dead
but still beats

call me asap
(｡•́︿•̀｡)

🙂
Was any of it even real?
🙂
Does it really matter?
🙂
I dont know, it was
atleast for me it did.

Losing what you never had
Might still be the worst thing that could ever happen,

Cause once you lose what you never had,
you never stop contemplating " what if you had it ",

and though you know what your heart wants,
You ll never do it because it wasnt yours to begin with.

What I lost is something that can never be replaced.

You ripped me off the very thing
I lacked and left me here to ponder over
all the things that we could have been.

Its not the pain that bothers me the most. Its, its my inability to comprehend the fact that i let you,
The one that i loved with the whole of my heart to slip out and fade away....

We don't choose the one we love ,
it's a spark a feeling something like probability of our existence.

One mere atom falling out of line...... One out of a trillion ways to go wrong, yet  it went wrong in one specific way that resulted in our existence.

The moment you feel the spark will be the moment that LL be etched into your soul, .. that one moment in all of your existence will be the one where you feel the actuality and veracity of love.

Love is
neither eternal nor existential

its just like a spark from a flint in a flourished forest.

When the spark vanishes the forest burns.

Now I have to remember longer than I have known you for.

Love is the most hideous of all
that you'll ever feel,

You wont even realize its there when you have time with that one person and

all of a sudden

you feel all this weight pulling your heart down at once knowing that your time with them has come to an end.

As much as it burdens my heart to accept that we are not a couple, it burdens my soul to let go of that thought.

Maybe someday I will get the strength to accept it but I dont think, I will have the luxury of forgetting because I record and write my every thought and dream, about you and hold on it for as long as i would as if my life depends upon it.

However silly all of it sound somethings cannot be expressed by words and my love for you is one such....

People quarrel about being
Single and committed like they know what love is.

Love is something that you can only understand through grief,

It is a discovery of voids in yourself, voids that vortexes into your soul shattering all you've ever felt,

You ll never know what love is until you lose someone you love.

She: Boooo ,I'll infect you too.

He :you already did and I already died but I am happy enough to do it all again, over and over ,again and again,forever and ever,until your heart soaring just about mine.

One of the hardest things you will ever have to do in life is to love someone so much unconditionally and still walk away from them since thats whats best for both of you.

The Moment where you start searching the reasons for loving someone
is the
Moment where you
Lose your ability to Love them.

You preached love to a heartless being and you clipped its wings right when it wanted to fly with you.
Are you the angel that I deserve, dream and desolately mourn along till the end of my days?

Love, nobody believes in it till they experience or understand the sorrow or grief it baggages along with it.

The moment they do they experience something that will be etched into the deepest of their deary hearts which they would never elude or resucitate from.

Funny of all, i still live to love the soul that cries across the stars that never die and that one wretched soul is indeed is mine.
( . _ .)

You can settle your mind with compromises but the heart,
The heart always wants what it wants.

Its sad
Its mad

It loves
It hates

It floats and gloats.

It snuggles and shears.

It lies and yet cries.

If i think of a way to give it away it bickers and brawls to put me away.

My big broken bickery heart needs a savage sick mystery ***.