yellow-thoughts: Poems

292 · Jan 2018

yellow-thoughts Jan 2018

you hid sadness
but tears you knew
like your sisters

you thought happiness
was something unnatural
You hated him.

you hid smile
but fears controlled you
that's how you met him

but his smile scared you
you wanted to steal it
You hated him!

i'm pathetic

#love #heartbroken #lonely #depressed #hate #smile #sadness

290 · Jul 2018

i want to feel

yellow-thoughts Jul 2018

i want to feel

i want to feel pain
simple human emotions
useless tears, full smiles
bright lies and needles loughs
wanting too much of my dreams
they promises a full heart
i want my world full of grace
dreams, pain, thirst and then drugs
i want to argue and fight
surrender to my sinister thoughts
and now no one can interfere
so please make me worry
i want to feel pain
and simple human emotions.

/m.a/

emotions are priceless!

#emotions #pain #dreams #love #fantasy #lost

282 · Feb 2018

chase

yellow-thoughts Feb 2018

chase

i'm chasing time,
you're chasing me
and she's chasing you,
i have this feeling
that maybe only i can see
this endless circle,
this infinity
...
/M.A./

#time #world #life #love #lost #wonder #dreams #chase #chasing #infinity

279 · Feb 2018

say my name

yellow-thoughts Feb 2018

say my name

say my name without saying it..
it sounds confusing but try..

say how i like my coffee,
why i find comfort in nature,
why i keep changing all the backgrounds,
say why i like certain numbers
and why i like photographing,
say why i hug my books,
say why i'm such a good liar
and which superpower i would choose

i know that- even i don't know some answers
but say my name without saying it...
...
/M.A./

#name #heartbroken #sadness #moonlight #night #broken #falsefriends

272 · Mar 2018

teachers

yellow-thoughts Mar 2018

teachers

..............they teach us to think like they like

..............they teach us to strive for those grades

..............they teach us to please them

how can you judge my opinion?
how can you even dare to grade my thoughts?
grading my knowledge like you know everything...

/M.A./

Of course somewhere are good teachers too...

#school #grades #world #society #wrong #lost

268 · Dec 2017

hope.

yellow-thoughts Dec 2017

hope.

even if i was tired
drunk and half asleep
i didn't sleep and for the first time
thought that maybe i don't have to die
to fell good or happy...
HA HA star of hope..

Sometimes i'm trying to drink my problems away... do u?

#night #dark #depressed

257 · Dec 2017

mONstErs

yellow-thoughts Dec 2017

mONstErs

they all are monster
and darlin' i'm too
we all are

sometimes we think terrible things
that would make people scream
believe me..

sometimes we do dreadful things
that make people cry
believe me..

or don't believe me
because all of us are lying
monster are such a liars
..

Monsters are all around us, see for yourself... just look around ;()

#monsters #lies #terrible #dreadful

255 · Feb 2018

time

yellow-thoughts Feb 2018

time

heyy, old friend
could you invest your time in me, please?
i'm little short on it
you probably won't get it back
'cause i will forget
but you doesn't need to know that, right?
...
/M.A./

#time #memories #endless #alone #heartbroken #sadness #selfish

255 · Feb 2018

alone

yellow-thoughts Feb 2018

alone

don't let me be alone for too long
being by my self is dangerous
it's i will never need you again dangerous
or i will scream my lungs out dangerous
there's always possibility i wont be there anymore
and that that i could lose myself by myself
so please don't leave my side
...
/M.A./

#sadness #alone #heartbroken #love #trust #danger #lost #numb

246 · Dec 2017

yesterday

yellow-thoughts Dec 2017

yesterday

yesterday I met a girl,
i think she is from wonderland
magical hair and sparkling eyes
sadly sweet words came from her mouth
and i thought, where she has been all my life.

i needed true friendship back then
but she is offering it now,
i wonder can i be true to her
because i even can't be true to myself
but maybe, maybe we can try.

i really met a girl, but she has always been here
and until yesterday we weren't friends.
I wonder if it was for a day or a party,
but I hope we can really be friends in the future.

#friends #party #drinking #lonely #wonderland #alcohol

237 · Jan 2018

summer girl

yellow-thoughts Jan 2018

summer girl

today the girl who i spent almost all the summer said to me that i remind to her a girl who is in love with moon, flowers, 3 AM's, stars and that ****. that beautiful ****, which i really love. that is interesting because i call her a girl who i spend a summer with not a friend or something. we even didn't talk much. and that's my fault because i'm not a talker but a dreamer. but back to the point - i was surprised because she doesn't really know me, but she saw that side of me. i didn't think that i can show the real me, so i'm really graceful to that girl, who told me that i can.

#summer #goals #dreaming #dreams #flowers #moon #stars #lovely

236 · Mar 2019

moving on

yellow-thoughts Mar 2019

moving on

unfortunately
i don't move on
i put things behind me
after i have ...
welll..
repeated everything in my mind
for a million times

we all have different minds
different motives and reasons
finally
i met you once more
just to see
the same ending for us

the universe is not allowed
i repeat - NOT ALLOWED
to put us together in the next lifetime
or ever again,
even not in another dimension
i know..
im already regretting this decision
cause i would rather be in your arms
even so, that has never ended well
but
our story has already ended
im just rereading this story
that fairy tail which never really ended
nor will continue ever again

im lost in my space...
but this time not for you.
its MY way of moving on

#movingon #past #future #poem #feeling #life #pain #emotions

234 · Jan 2018

aLone but nOt at alL

yellow-thoughts Jan 2018

aLone but nOt at alL

i thought that i was so alone in this grey world
and i was so wrong and so right about it
so my point in this pointless topic is
that it's okay to be alone while you are feeling fine

but when i started speaking to and watching people
'cause my alone time started to be unhealthy
i realized we are not alone in that
that all of us are alone in this universe

HA such a plot twist, am i right...?

but in real life i really started speaking to some of people, and they are similar to me, but my kind of people doesn't want friends. because it's another chance to get hurt, so idk

#alone #loneliness #pointless #lonely #universe

231 · Jan 2018

how to say it aloud?

yellow-thoughts Jan 2018

how to say it aloud?

i don't have an answer to that question
but i have more questions

how you can say out loud something
that you can't put in words?
how you can explain that to people
who still cares about you?
how you can feel understood
when no one understands?
how can i even feel something
i cant explain?
how this all works?
?

so many questions but no answers
i quess it's life
..?

ohh everything is so complicated and simple at the same time..

#feelings #questions #misunderstood #alone #confused #depressed

228 · Feb 2018

paradise

yellow-thoughts Feb 2018

paradise

take me somewhere
where...
sun is rising and setting continuously,
air smells like autumn
and pumpkins say farewells
or...
snowflakes have warm touch,
stars are my flashlights
and snowmen's growing my carrots
or...
bed is made of flowers,
black tea is in the sea
and sun is my blond best friend
or at least where...
water is always warm,
smiles are magically flirty
and poems write them selves and humans
...
/M.A./

#dreams #magical #magic #paradise #fantasy #world #love

227 · Dec 2017

sea creAtuREs

yellow-thoughts Dec 2017

sea creAtuREs

i'm in love with sea creatures
even the mystical ones
imagine they have their own world
their own rules
..

there are something mystical about them.. i guess..

#sea #dreams #magical #mystical #world #imagination

224 · Feb 2018

INspiratiON

yellow-thoughts Feb 2018

INspiratiON

drug a bucket of salt,
sew all blankets together,
light a candle in the sun,
'cause why not..?

sometimes we don't need a reason
we just need an inspiration
...
/M.A./

#inspiration #dreams #bored #reasons #world #love #muse #lost

223 · Dec 2017

we don't know

yellow-thoughts Dec 2017

we don't know

we don't know till we don't try

i didn't know i was good at art
good at learning and good with animals
till i tried

i really didn't know i was good at faking
good at lying and good at crying
till i tried

so is it good to try everything?

but if i get addicted ?
but if it goes wrong ?
but if no one understands ?

but really we don't know till we don't try...

223 · May 2019

***

yellow-thoughts May 2019

***

not everything has to make sense
not everything needs a reason
we need the space in between
where we can just think
the moment when common sense isn't so common
the middle part of right and wrong

so when u see someone doing something u dont understand
dont ask why - just try it for yourself

#inmiddle #middle #common #sense #life #living

218 · May 2019

nothing in the middle

yellow-thoughts May 2019

nothing in the middle

all or nothing at all
there should never be a middle way
then life would be so much easier
easy - yes or no

216 · Aug 2018

stealing time..

yellow-thoughts Aug 2018

stealing time..

...
something is stealing our time
you know that feeling
when year is already over
but you still remember something
like it happened yesterday
...

212 · Dec 2017

sorrows

yellow-thoughts Dec 2017

sorrows

are there is something wrong with me?
or I was made like this...
i'm feeling pretty good when i'm sad
it's like sorrow is my happiness

i'm just so used to it, i guess
..

my reality is different from yours ...

#sadness #sorrow #pain #numb #bored #happiness

210 · Dec 2017

uNlOvable

yellow-thoughts Dec 2017

uNlOvable

i'm so unlovable i guess
i'm not made for human interactions
i **** everything up

felling like a nothing sometimes..

#love #heartbreak #pain #lonely #numb #depressed

209 · Jan 2018

moMEnt

yellow-thoughts Jan 2018

moMEnt

we always remember those moments
when we were on the thin line
or heavy decision
when one word could decide
our entire lives

the moment when you realize
that you doesn't feel some things anymore
the moment of revelation
the moment of relief

..

those heavy moments...

#moment #life #decision #lonely #hurt

198 · Jan 2018

Leave no footprints

yellow-thoughts Jan 2018

Leave no footprints

I have learned to walk on snow
Without leaving my footprints.
I have learned to swim
Without scattering the waters.
I have learned to save the flowers beauty
Without killing it.
I have learned to read people
Without speaking a word with them.

197 · Feb 2018

confusing feelings

yellow-thoughts Feb 2018

confusing feelings

i can't depend on my feeling
they are so untrustworthy
they make me do stuff i don't like
and hate things i love
they are confusing me
and the best part - they blame me in everything

191 · Nov 2019

fears

yellow-thoughts Nov 2019

fears

distant scream so far away
but ohh how close to you're heart
how about checking the source?
moments of silence and a thought
suggesting sudden road change
where and why...

why...
you're scared of unknown?
ohh but i know so well why

it
frightens
you

the PossibilITY

#fear #heart #unknown

191 · Sep 2019

band aid

yellow-thoughts Sep 2019

band aid

You're like a band-aid
so attached to my skin
and you always thought
I was the weak one
but when the time came
I just riped you of like a band-aid
fast and in one breath

You never asked me
why I have so many bruises
their there cause I rip bandaids off often
You are the week one
All of you are so easy to pull off
or Im just used to that

190 · Jan 2018

do you hate me?

yellow-thoughts Jan 2018

do you hate me?

i'm wondering do you hate me
because you are avoiding me
i think we ended it all together
because it was both of our faults

why are we strangers now

we both together didn't work and so what
some of people aren't meant for each other
but that doesn't mean that i don't want you in my life
why all of us are assuming something
we even doesn't ask face to face
we just assuming
i'm guilty too
maybe you don't want people like me in your life
maybe you don't hate me, just don't want me
HA what's better
it all turned even worse

Hey!
can i ask you a personal question?
Do You Hate me?

i really think that he hates me ;(

189 · Nov 2019

ᖴᖇIEᑎᗪ Oᖴ ᗰIᑎE

yellow-thoughts Nov 2019

ᖴᖇIEᑎᗪ Oᖴ ᗰIᑎE

the worst best friend of mine
comes to sleepovers
but never wants to leave them
she's obsessed over the past
talking about memories
but mostly she's quiet
she's just there with me
it doesn't sound so bad
but when she leaves
i feel relief, like i can breathe again
after a long time i gave up
asking her to leave
cause...

sadness comes and goes as she pleases

186 · May 2018

do you?

yellow-thoughts May 2018

do you?

when there is new love on the corner
who is smiling like blind
and you are falling for it,
but you know how it gonna end
so why you are up for it?
do you?
do you really want to go through it all again?

185 · Dec 2017

hi, i exist.

yellow-thoughts Dec 2017

hi, i exist.

i know i forgive you
i know you didn't see me
because no one does

while they speak they are running through
always forgetting about me
doesn't remember, doesn't notice, doesn't see

it's nothing i don't care
pain now and then seems unbearable
ignore pain ignore them

it's not my fault i said
and then he followed me
photographers doesn't lie they don't care about cruelty

i'm there, in the first one screamed
in the second cried in third jumped
all the others doesn't count because there is nothing to see

only a girl in the corner
whose heart jumped off the cliff
and eyes who are dancing waltz of pain.

181 · Jan 2018

people come and go

yellow-thoughts Jan 2018

people come and go

people came and go
it's my belief
i think i live by that
and too strongly
'cause i don't get attached

no it's all in a other way
i get attached to people
but i'm already ready
that they will vanish
from my life
sooner or later

179 · May 2018

LifE

yellow-thoughts May 2018

LifE

the meaning of life is so simple and so complicated
the purpose is to be, just to be
there isn't any praise in the end
or some transcendental goal to reach
just to be, the purpose is to be
.
/M.A./

177 · May 2018

deep goals

yellow-thoughts May 2018

deep goals

no one needs pretty words
or fancy gifts anymore
we all have hunger for deep connections
for someone who understood us

if we can't reach this goal
it ends our lives
it makes us feel numb
and to feel like mistakes...

/M.A./

176 · Aug 2018

inevitable

yellow-thoughts Aug 2018

inevitable

eventually flowers wither and becomes ugly
sooner or later stories ends

like our downfall was inevitable
love and affection disappears

learning new words:)

175 · Jan 2018

sIlenCE

yellow-thoughts Jan 2018

sIlenCE

silence isn't so silent
if your thoughts
are so ******* loud

#silence #sadness #heartbroken #thoughts

171 · Apr 2019

real poem

yellow-thoughts Apr 2019

real poem

Do you know when it's a real poem?

it is not when it gets popular
or gets many likes

it's when you reread your poem
and you don't immediately realize
it's your words, your poem

but at the end of the poem
those emotions hit you hard again
and so hard, that u realize
yeahh this my shiiit

that means that you wrote it
only guided by your emotions
every poem needs an emotion
without it
it's just a pile of words

it just happened to me, so i realized that ... :)
do you agree or disagree and why?

#poem #poet #poetry #emotions #real

170 · Apr 2018

soul

yellow-thoughts Apr 2018

soul

why i am like this?
my soul doesn't have one stile
it is this spirit who can never chose
.
/M.A./

168 · Dec 2017

emotions

yellow-thoughts Dec 2017

emotions

in love with stars
in love with animals, trees and sunsets
in love with you
in love with everything

but then...
something hits me
misunderstood emotions
unknown waters
something what isn't there

everything is beautiful
but just for some time
and then everything
turns           around

and i don't know what to do
or   what   to   say
everything     just    blurs    out
and       no     one       understands       me . . .

161 · Apr 2020

sun kisses

yellow-thoughts Apr 2020

sun kisses

sun is hitting my skin
not only my skin
but all of us
especially on mornings
sudden kick in a face
thats why most people
hate mornings
who thought that sun is the bully

155 · Jan 2018

i hate this feelINg

yellow-thoughts Jan 2018

i hate this feelINg

this numbness
when i don't want to push
these buttons
but words are flowing
and feelings are gone
for everything
and nothing has a reason

i hate this feeling

151 · Jan 2018

thINKing

yellow-thoughts Jan 2018

thINKing

it take only one scream to actually scream
isn't it funny?.................................................
oh keep your silence to yourself
but why?.......................................
just wonder too far in the universe
and then?...........................................
hold yourself so no one else have to hold you instead
right here?...........................................................................
and always be just fine
yeah like always!.........

sometime we need to fell something more..

146 · Aug 2018

windows

yellow-thoughts Aug 2018

windows

my window are in love
all three of them
but there's a twist
it's an abusive relationship

the love they seek is impossible to get
'cause rain is nowhere and everywhere

it's a harsh love
'cause i can hear that
rain hits them
but they are okay with it

142 · Dec 2017

waiting..

yellow-thoughts Dec 2017

waiting..

we spend our lives waiting for something
for opportunities
for lovers
for "the right time"

we forget that while we are waiting
the time doesn't wait

stop waiting start doing!!

#time #heartbreak

138 · Aug 2018

waiting

yellow-thoughts Aug 2018

waiting

i don't think that death is sad,
tragic, unexpected or unfair..
in the end death is inevitable
and so inescapable
so divine

for me honestly
i'm waiting for it and for a long time

136 · Feb 2019

witch inside

yellow-thoughts Feb 2019

witch inside

i know im positive
loving smiles and fun people
but somewhere inside of me
is a cold-hearted witch
whos dying to turn every smile into pain

don't worry im keeping her tamed
but for all of the things you do, there's
a sacrifice to make
so my positivity is costing me much

every smile brings me pain
but i have to ... smile
cause that's ... me
or am ... i

129 · Jan 2019

poets hands

yellow-thoughts Jan 2019

poets hands

my hands are made for words
cause they're guiding me
they're pushing me forward
cause they love taping the keyboard
they are desperate for letters
they want to learn
how to read...

little they know
these hands already
knew how to read
how to read -me

[m.a.]

121 · Jan 2022

dreams

yellow-thoughts Jan 2022

dreams

let's close our eyes and immerse into
some sweet lingering thoughts in the air
while the space in between is empty
and silence cannot reach out of it
we'll jump on the next free cloud

are you ready to spill your imagination?
use the bucket which is on your neck
sliding under the unpleasantries
in search for your destinies voice
but no dream can give you a straight answer

wait a while here for an idea to disappear
because that's what you get
lying in the labyrinth of your mind
sit straight while I do the work
setting this dream on the right rode