I step into the light
my eyes start seeing clearly

Beloved, my heart sings songs of *Your praise.
Thank You for helping me get through the day sober and free.

I am grateful I canbe present to life today.  I can give and receive love instead of being trapped in self, hopeless and full of self-pity.

Grateful I can hold my daughter with love exploding from my heart. With Your help and help of fellow sojourners, she never has to see me drunk.

Beloved, may I continue walking on the path and share this precious gift of sobriety with others that I meet on the way.

Thank You. I love You.

I was cursing on autopilot,
not reay taking responsibility
for my life.

I lived a decade or more in a daze
and confused by my own illusions,
thinking somehow I was in control.

I was lucky enough to be given a moment of grace,
a tiny window where I surrendered and cried out
for help and actually took the help offered to me.

Three years ago I was alone drinking myself to death
in my basement apartment, bitter and resentful.
I was praying everyday for God to **** me.

Today, I am grateful that I am alive.
I am free to make mistakes, but more importantly,
I can be grateful today for my life with all it's beauty and pain.

I am grateful that I got to see my baby girl for the first time,
in her mother's belly and that I am alive today
welcome life instead of trying to end it.

I awake to life
with each breath.

Breath in, I commit to life.
Breathe out, I trust in life.

I awake to my breath,
I become aware how
grateful for this often unconscious act
of saying
yes to
life.

A profound moment lost forever
In the wake of worry
Awe’s reverent beauty
Overlooked for life’s illusions
No wonder lights the soul
As worry’s froth and foam
Clouds one’s perspective*

Lost in thought and never saying never
Everything is blurry like walking in a flurry
Beauty surrounds me even when I feel pity
Chances squandered, like when an ump cried "foul!"
I dance with death with awe
Each move so seductive

home never seems more sweeter
then when on the road.

words flow
bodies move
I become
still and silent.
be.

sitting still long enough to be,
                                                one      ­of the hardest things to do for me.
i am lost when i start life    with     all the shoulda woulda couldas of my
                                                life,      b­ecause it shrouds my openness to this very moment.
i'm embracing my heart to be         free of the demons of my own making.
                                                whole  ­for the first time, I can't help erupting  with laughter at
the joy and sadness of it all.

i want to laugh uncontrollably with someone I love

run naked through the woods at night

make amends to people I've harmed

tell my wife I love her

give thanks to a God of my understanding for my life

hold my baby daughter in my arms

being your daddy means
being patient even
when you won’t go to bed

being your daddy means
loving you even
when I’m so tired

being your daddy means
showing up as I am
and doing the best I can

I am at home
in my heart
as love bursts forth
like contagious laughter

living without holding and craving
letting life flow in me

when life seems to
          knock
                    me

                               d
                                    o
                         ­               w
                                              n
­                                                                 ­         
                                                       ­        You       me.
                                                                ­     carry

all around
singing of birds, laughter of children
right now

still here
on this cushion
when all my thoughts
tell me to run

as my mind tightens
I breathe more deeply
my shoulders drop
and my breath, body, and mind
slowly fall into rhythm

being still and connecting to a God
I do not understand,
but love with my heart
feels so difficult,
and yet sometime it feels as
natural as eating pie with ice cream.

your words were
sweet like chocolate

now you launch bitter daggers
that pierce my heart

.                                              duality           ­                    diversity
                                               lost                                      found
                 ­                              in                                         void
                                               yin                                       yang
                                               male                                     female
                                               energy                                 flowing
                                               dark                                     light
                                               finite                                    infinite
                                               destroy                                create
                   ­                            death                                   life
                                               in                                          out
                 ­                              loneliness                            intimacy                                               

                 ­                             
                                   ­            letting go                            holding firm
                                               walking with                     walking away
                                               moving out                        moving in
                                               embracing silence             cuddling chaos
                                               making out                         sitting alone
                                               loving fully                         craving love
                                               loosing fear                         desiring power
                                               past actions                         future promise
                                               healing wounds                 festering resentments
                                               being aware                        choosing ignorance
                                               centering prayer                running away
                                               sharing life                         hording death

deep gratitude
this day of my birth
for divine breath

you say you love me
But all I experience is contempt

Love is presence embodied
by patience and understanding

all I taste is bitterness

May I be happy.

The world becomes a more hospitable place,
when my heart opens up.
I am happier, when my definition of happiness expands.
I hope someday my expands to infinity.

May I feel safe.

The living center caresses me,
and nurtures me like a nursing mother.
A loving God embraces the core of who I am,
and whispers "I love you."

May my heart open and be free.

My mind's voice becomes quiet and serene,
as it aligns itself  to the gentle rhythm of my heart.
My center is firm and whole,
and embraces infinity.

lost in ecstasy
of the present moment
here i am

a bliss
to embrace
what is
at peace
with **everything

I wish we lived in a world
where we were bombarded with messages of hope
that encourage us to grow

instead of being bombarded with messages of futility
that our worth lies in meaningless products
and how and what we consume
we are told to conform

I am more than my material possessions
and how much I get on my paycheck

my own thoughts keep me trapped,
the bonds tighten when I try to
think my way out

I am only truly free when I open my
heart and mind to something different,
which is to open myself to love

I am slowly lifted out of myself,
when I give and receive love.
helping others, really helps me
to be free

w                                                                ­                                       page
     o                                                                ­                  g           the
          r                                                  ­                     n             off
             d                                                    p          
                 s                                            a             i
                                                         e
                      bounce                  l
                                    aro­und

we live lives so close together and yet so far away.
moving metal boxes give us the illusion of separation,
and our houses set the boundary of privacy.

In the end, the great equalizer brings us all back to the soil.
We are united in death to be connected again to the earth,
but some of us want to be separate even in death and
decompose privately in a metal box.  

What are the boundaries that separate me from you?  
for a brief instant our lives touch as your eyes read my words,
and my heart touches your heart.  In that moment of connection,
we become little more free of the apathy and disconnection
that's all around us.

Love*
I humbly bow to you
and promise to follow
your quiet whispers
to my heart

Where you lead
I will follow

emptying out boxes
discarding things I no longer need
rediscovering treasures
I had frgotten I had

as I break down each empty box,
I feel a little lighter, more free
soon the things I have been hoarding
are all gone, and I can't rember why held on so long

one room down, few more to go
I wouldn't miss it for the world

time  breaks
                                   down to a single moment
                         becomes                         infinite
                         free         of                     perception


                                                    ­             breathe   deep
                                                  
         ­                                                        breathe free of worries

                                                        ­                                                           in

                                                                ­                                                  and


                                                              ­                                                     out

                                                            ­                                                                
­                                            silence breaks into silence
                                            movement becomes stillness
                                                silence­ and stillness
                                                       ­     merge
                                                      ­        into
  
                                                                ­o
                                                               ­ n
                                                              ­  e

breath caught in throat
heart leaping out
this is love

trust is easier to break
than to put together again

Better than a speech of a thousand vain words is
one thoughtful word which brings peace to the mind.
Better than a poem of a thousand vain verses is
one thoughtful line which brings peace to the mind.
Better than a hundred poems of vain stanzas is one
word of the dharma that brings peace to the mind.

the divine flame burns
even in cold dark rainy nights

there is a slow burn that
irritates from within

my only relief is drinking
from the living water
that quenches my thirst

hustle and bustle
voices rising
into a symphony of noise

The cascade of sounds
washes over me,
chaotic caucophony
of an urban landscape.

Your faint whisper
spoken in love,
echoes in my heart,
creates a safe quiet center.

No matter where I go,
love echoes in my heart,
creating a vibration of sound
that cascades out in harmony.

an easy choice
but sometimes
so **** hard
to make