There were days
when I just know,
that it is not any better
than the last summer
or even the first
day of this year.

if I stay within this
circle of fear,
and waiting for the
blizzard to be out of here.

I will forever remain
a raindrop, instead of thunder.

and tell me
how it feels like
returning to the suburbia
walking past couples
eating chilly popsicles
from each others’ hands
while kids fall on the pavements
not a worry, not a melee
as the first full moon
overlooking us
beyond the double pulses
built at the epicentre
witnessing all of the
wild, harsh river flows
that taught us life
I am not the melodramatic aristocrat
you are the forgetful, envious plutocrat
will you make it through January
when I still linger with December?

you would know that only answer.

George pleaded for his life
begged to breathe, requested
the continuity of his own existence
before the lynch with a knee
on the commemoration day
of many lives that have burned in vain
violent resistance on detention
a fabrication out of desperation
when all they had was the sick joy
of seeing an innocence in pain
fell silent and motionless
once and for all,
and he too, has burned in vain.

do not let that be a fact.

Eric waits, and now
George too.

I am fixing the racetrack
where all the thoughts there
have turned black,

reclaiming my isolated dignity
retraining every part of thoughts
connecting every incomplete dots

which will lead me to the adjacent poles
that are satisfied with their own nature
science taught me nothing but
selective decision and sense of entrapment
whisper to your pillow before
every intentional breath

“am I just a vehicle to every unidentifiable selfishness or am I just living up to my own means?”

the love

is for us to hold in high affinity,
and to be protected like our sanity.

when you asked me
for the only direction
to the campsite of holy Aurora
I fed you with the temptation
and when you laid the blanket
I made you the bed instead.

I was already underneath the lake,
and I extended my hand to you,
waiting for you to realise
that there is nothing at stake,
and there is no wrong in being true.

when you talked to me
about the fiery, empty sunset
there were devils that linger and smile
I painted clouds and rainbows
for you to be sheltered from
partook in a deep sigh and grows.

you are awakened
by the smell of the brewed coffee
filled with our joy and contentment
you are no longer in a daze
forever buried in the strong aftertaste.

stay within my sight,
and touch me with all your might.

There are lives
that have died and gone to waste,
but there are also lives
that are well-lived yet already gone to waste.

You burn the box
and set the ring of fire
you tame the fox
and set up the wings of desire.

How can I walk away?

Let me in.

this is the city of faith
the city of doubt
discipline overrated
tough will is decisive
the decider, the dictator
in the grey hazy morning
try your best to make it
celebrate all the symbols
concedes mimicking rats
satisfy the prowling big cats
pick whatever that is left
in your accustomed route
and push through it
till the death of the sun
in each of your weary run.

all hail the lost souls,
see you in the city hall
at the end of the day.

the wilderness
in a soul that is scattered
all over this vast, empty universe
always challenged,
left without any apparent
guidance, nor any cult,
firm formulae
we are that only soul,
slow, without direction, colliding
all over this hazardous place
relying on our instinct
and complicated mind
the component of each particle
are intense non-binary
and it helps us to disrupt
the pattern of our non-existence,
and therefore, yes,
here we are.

the sound of
the crickets
making out
with the cold night
disturb
the temper
of the day,
all together with
the confession
and pray.

there is no limit
we live in the world of infinite
impossible is not a word
for any man
invisible at the heart
of a perfect plan
rock the chair of a child
and let them go wild
this world is meant
to be in chaos
and truth be told,
we are already in lost.

helplessly drowning in a rapid tide
let's indulge in this eternal wild ride.

I do not want to live
in fear anymore
I do not want to live
without desire anymore
I want to move to
a city where I know nobody
where I will have
a movie marathon alone
where I will have
a dinner at my own convenient
where I will have
the entire space to my own
where I will talk
to myself in front of the mirror
where I will suffer
alone from my crooked back
I am pretty sure it is
more meaningful than
to be greeted by
thoughtful strangers
to be harrassed by
vengeful neighbours.

sometimes, knowing that
you are loved from afar
will make you want to fish
for the sun from the star.

intelligence is
the new authority
resistance is
the new sanctity
velvety memoir
of the patchy ride
in a rainbow rollercoaster,
left everything prime
on the outside
sink into the wagon with
wild, visceral inside
embark on an odyssey
observing the past,
questioning the future.

future is a distant memory
of all the anachronistic glory.

countless
tempestuous moments
a prognosis of the
stupendous temperament
a desire to believe
a desire to achieve
and I have never
looked away,
from the shallowest river
that I have sunk my foot into.

O, you are a success.
You are a living success.
You are a success,
that have unearthed
the chaos and unrest
in the minds of a generation
from baby boomers to millenials
from the east to the west.

O, you are a success.
You are a living success.
you left a lasting memory
and unshaken legacy
filled with utter hypocrisy
and bureaucracy
shrouded with the cry
of everlasting demand
and accomplishment.

O, you are a success.
why should you be worried.
You are a living success.

maybe
it is
about
to end

but
you always
know when
tomorrow

begins.

I wonder
how can you
be content
with a 10-inch horizontal screen or
42-inch rectangular box
that will only make you
fall deeper in the escapism
and forget about the whole sense of realism.

/I
do.not/adore!
-you./

well,
it depends.

it depends
on how you look at it.

the anger that
branches in you are meaningless.

the frustration that
rests deep in you is meaningless.

the desperation that
is trapped in you is meaningless.

all of it might poison
you, but you, you are still you.

you are still here,
out there, existing and surviving.

it does not matter
why or how you are breathing.

because you are
just a future ground zero.

and you are still around
pondering over the possibilities.

and performing
at this grandest stage ever
is the proudest achievement
of your life.

we are always
aspired to
be god,

look at how
we systematically
programmed the school,
the difference with a factory?

we are always
aspired to
be god,

check on how
we systematically
organized the prison,
harmless for the society?

we are always
aspired to
be god,

look at how
we unashamedly
arranged the tv and radio
pursuing the utopian future?

we are always
aspired to
be god,

check on how
we unashamedly
clear the forest and rebuild,
as if we care for the community?

we have never stop at
avoiding the eventual fate
trying to take everything
under control
and forgetting our actual role.

the luckless ones
gaze into the empty sky.

spill
a glass
of water
on the floor,
quit staring
and leave it
as it is.

interdependent.

What kind of world it is,
if half of it is satisfied in isolating the rest of it,
happy at letting it to be in
the dark over the whole idea, situation, and vision.

Even looking at the rest of it
invokes the other half of distrust and disgust.

Corrupting the idea
of a united world is the biggest treason committed towards the creation of mankind.

If life
is a collection
of chain reactions
I wonder
who started
the chaos
and
who are at
the bottom of
the receiving end
because if it
falls short at
being fair
then nothing here
is valid.

antologi itu
adalah
aliran
air deras
dari puncak
gunung
manakala
puisi
adalah
anak-anak
alunan
buih lunak
di kaki
terjunan.

Time is slipping away
and we can't keep everything at bay.

But I can always feel you,
like how the leaf kisses the morning dew.

What most
of the people
fear of
is their disappointment
in mortality,
the unconvincing possibility
of invincibility  
and everything that is
waiting for the eventuality
while
all they have
to do is just
to embrace it
like letting the wind
wrapping up
their body on a cold, rainy night.

I am indebted
to this life,
for giving me
the meaning
to the
whole context
despite
the meaninglessness
of it.

For its inexistence,
I am just
going to be
another stardust
in a vast, darkly sky
above the raging sea
in every cold, empty night.

lights turn on,
and it wakes me.

I want you to know how it feels like to be in my shoes, just like how you wish that everyone can feel the same as you and despite all of the feelings in this world that are generated by the same kind of source; love and hate, kindness and cruelty, sadness and happiness, we still fail at agreeing on the only great fate for us as we are reluctant to determine what is really right for us and therefore, in return, we can never leave our mark in any era, any generation that we are in, for the failure to avoid our will to consume from the deep within will ensure that we will endure another war, another famine, another epidemic that can only be undone by us, by having the empathy and love towards one another.

lights dim,
and it shatters me.

lock
the door
before
heading
out,
everytime.

innocuous.

to:
edward,
you
are
in our
breath.

r[ain

dro

ps

on

ev

ery

fa

ll

en

le

aves]

­ec
l
usive.

thousands
think
after seeing
words,
millions
think
after seeing
images,
but
how many
out there
that think
after seeing
an abstract
collection,
of wild patterns
of unidentifiable
intentions?

What if
the black hole,
is something similar
to the door that
Truman Burbank exited;

an alternate world to his, where over there only truth exists?

The                         failings
of


mainstream media

is a bless
                to the society.

The polemic exists
when the full circle persist;

The space in between?

A mess that you don't have to clean?

A question of what could have been?

The questions are valid
for the idea is not obsolete.

I heard that
you're coming back,
but don't ever be like lush,

when things turned black,
head went off in a rush.

We are
nothing but
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious


but we are
good at making ourselves look atrocious.

no one is subscribing
to the universal affection
draining subconscious ailment
that needs no treatment
quaking with fear
shaking with revulsion
looking to prolong
an hour, a minute
stretching one second
into ten seconds
where are we going,
past the streetlights
the crossroads
the commotion
inside the canal boat
that surrounds and accompanies
this road -
will it ends one day,
sometimes, somewhere
and brings an end
to the entire's generation
guilt and disease?

terus
tenggelam
dalam
kisah silam
kekal
bertentangan
dengan
kisah hadapan
sudah
menjadi resam
penuh
dengan harapan
pencarian berterusan
mencari perlindungan

apakah erti
pendewasaan
apakah erti
kemerdekaan

satu batang tubuh
katanya penentu
jaya atau buntu
kekal tunduk patuh
menjarah sesuatu
diam membatu.

bahawasanya
semua binasa
angkara
nafsu
tinggal sisa-sisa
hayat angkasa
dan masa
semakin jauh
meninggalkan
manusia
dengan angka
dengan strata
hikayat termaktub
bermaharajalela.

comb
your hair
everyday
after shower
before you head
outside.

irrelevant.

there were
shadows
that fought
for the right to
exist
descended off
the stairwell
fell into
the frostlake

and it continues.

before
they struggled
in the dark
then,

everything's gone.

Kenapa harus kita
berlari dari
kenyataan
Kenyataan itu
melegakan
Kenyataan itu
mendewasakan
Kenyataan itu
memaknakan

Ayuh ke sini
kenyataan,
kuhidangkanmu
persoalan.

setiap kota
takkan kekal abadi
dan yang ada
di dalamnya
hanyalah penghuni
yang kekal
selamanya ditemani
isi-isi
yang tak berisi
tiada puisi,
tiada seni
tanpa arah
tanpa erti
yang ada hanyalah
imbalan
dan keuntungan
yang berpuing
di udara kota
yang berlegar
di pengairan kota
segalanya
terasa muram
apa bezanya
hidup di dalam
lohong hitam?

Pengenalan itu satu
pengajaran
pemastautin dalam satu
perubahan
tanpa pengenalan
segalanya tak berpermulaan.

cut
an apple
into few slices
and leave it
for days.

indecisive.

break a toilet
mirror
and
look at it.

indifferent.

not
tucking in
your bedsheet
every morning.

intentionally.

today

I will fade away,
or maybe

yesterday
I have died
just to be awaken
in another bad nightmare,

I will never know.

He
adores
the
idea
of
his
non-
existence.

The doubt is with the night
forever hanging in the head
it sips all the fire
the flickering stars, the
bickering meteors
the maelstrom spews hate
over the pinned madness
the magnetic field emits hate
over the pinned sadness
if it sincerely wants
to be accepted
look no further than
how life has been enacted.