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715 · Feb 14
Versprechen im Wind
Life broke
So many promises
That I meant to keep
Does that make me a bad person...?
696 · Jan 29
Fate
Of all the people
That fate stole away
You're the one I'll
Miss the most...
I wish you have a beautiful life!
686 · Sep 2024
All about me
I should've been a better friend
I should've been there for you
I should've known better...
But as much as it pains me
To admit such terrible truth
You know I've always been
The narcissistic type
And had to make it
All about me
One of the hardests confessions I've ever made...
680 · Nov 2024
Stay
You knew from
The very start how
Badly messed up I am
So you should've said no
You should've runaway
Yet I'm glad you didn't
I'm glad you chose
To stay
I can only hope that I haven't fooled you into it...
642 · May 7
Missing lines
You promised
A lifetime of poetry
Just to leave without
A single line
So I search for them in stollen verses...
640 · Feb 15
Living
You make me wanna
Buy a classic motorcycle
Quit my boring corporate job
And move to the Italian alps

You make me wanna stop
Piling up wasted days
And start living
And I'll always love you for this - even if it's nothing but a dream.
637 · Nov 2024
Lebensbalance
Sometimes
Life feels like
Carrying a piano
While walking on
A tightrope
It's hard being strong without losing balance...
607 · Jan 7
Multiverse
In another dimension
Galaxies away from here
Would it matter?
What if?
601 · Jan 5
The undoing
I'm terrified
With the idea
That our undoing
Might become the
Latest addition to my
Vast list of shortcomings
Yesterday my wife said she wants to move out. I know she meant it and I can't say that I blame her, for I wouldn't want to stay married with my current self either. I really hope that I can make her come around. I'm just not sure how.
588 · Sep 2024
Little thrills
You say I'm insane for
Driving my brand new cabrio
With its roof wide open
In the pouring rain
But have you ever tried?
Who needs that new car smell anyway...?
564 · Sep 2024
Unreplied letters
The weeds in our garden
Grew as fast as the pile
Of your unreplied letters
Such a sad race to behold...
552 · Mar 26
Breath
Maybe they're right…
Maybe I’m a terrible person
A narcissistic ******* with
Manipulative tendencies
And a giant ego

Breath

Could I be a wolf
Disguised in sheep’s clothing?
Or perhaps a deceptive villain
That became an expert at
Playing the good guy part?

Breath…

What if I’m no better than
My **** father and grandfather?
What if the difference between us
Is merely circumstantial?

Breath!

You know all those dreams
Are never going to happen
Right?!

Breath!!!

It doesn't have to be like this
It could all go away, you know?

Breath, breath, breath

It will go away eventually
But not like this

Breath…
Had another episode last monday... they're becoming more frequent. Happening like every other month.
This piece is not pretty, and writing this was really hard. But it's my best effort in describing the chaotic struggle of trying to push those intrusive thoughts away and getting back the control of my mind.
547 · Nov 2024
One
One
Wrap your legs around me
And let me fade into you
Until our souls
Become one
Such sweet embrace...
538 · Dec 2024
Fool's gold
I craved for more for
As long as I remember
Tailor-made Italian suit
A brand new sports car
That penthouse with a
Postcard city view

So I sold my soul for it
Gave away my innocence
Scarred my mental health
Lost my very joie de vivre
In the process of chasing
Those shinny promises

But now that I got there
I realize that I fought for
No more than fool's gold
Useless junk that'll never
Fill the void that is to exist
Being a broken thing
Hope the future brings some perspective...
537 · Feb 12
Loss
Timing couldn't be any worse
We were living in a makeshift flat
While barely making ends meet
But we always wanted a baby
So we were thrilled anyway

Yet life had other plans
Of loss and unbearable pain
As it does over and over again
My wife got pregnant and ended up having a miscarriage late 2023. It's a little over a year now, but it hurts like it happened just yesterday.
536 · Jan 2
Windmills
Perhaps you're my Dulcinea
And I'm only a fool taking
Windmills for giants
How delusional can I be...?
519 · Sep 2024
Pizza love
With flour, you can make dough
With tomatoes, you can make sauce
But top them with cheese
And add a little heat
And you can make magic
There's food, there's great food, and then there's pizza.
513 · Oct 2024
Ode to coffee
Only you can take
Me out of bed and
Get me through the
Dullness of my day
Only you can give me
Energy enough to keep
All those intrusive
Thoughts at bay

No need for sugar
No need for cream
I like you dark
Bitter and true
I believe we make
Such a perfect team
When we're together
I never feel blue

So call it love
Call it addiction
I couldn't care less
If I have a cup of
Hot strong coffee
I won't fade to stress
Just one cup will be fine... or maybe twenty.
499 · Feb 28
Fighters
My body is broken
But doesn't really matter
How badly beat up I get
My soul still wants
To pick a fight

I guess us fighters
Are just made like that
We never really know
When and how to quit
We're too **** tough
For our own good

We just want that fire
So we keep pushing
On and forward
Forward and on
A repost of a piece that I wrote last september, while trying to shake myself off a depressive episode... couldn't be more appropriate: I'm fighting really hard right now.
491 · May 16
Misdeeds
Of all your misdeeds
The only one I'll never forgive
Is how easy you forgot about me
Maybe you're just a natural...
491 · Oct 2024
Berlin
Yesterday I took
A day off and drove
All the way to Berlin
A seven hours roadtrip
(Which I made in four)
Like the ones I used to do
Back when we were young
Just because you said that
There'd be some party and
It'd be cool if I showed up

Yesterday I walked
In the pouring rain
Around the Tiergarten
Like we did so many times
Because you were having
A tough day and wanted
To talk about it

Yesterday I've had
Some coffee in our old
Place in Prenzlauer Berg
And I swear that for a
Moment I could glance
Across that familiar table
Your emerald green eyes
And the wild flames of
Your red hair

I know it's kind of stupid
Keep coming to this place
Now that you're happily
Married and with children
Living half the world away
In America

But those memories are
The closest I'll ever be
Of seeing you again
And for that Berlin
Will forever have
A special place
In my heart
Every street is such a vivid reminder of you
490 · Sep 2024
Fighters
My body is broken
But doesn't really matter
How badly beat up I get
My soul still wants
To pick a fight

I guess us fighters
Are just made like that
We never really know
When and how to quit
We're too **** tough
For our own good

We just want that fire
So we keep pushing
On and forward
Forward and on
Wonder where it'll lead us...
473 · Oct 2024
Gap
Gap
If filling the gap
Between the man I am
And the one you deserve
Isn't enough reason to
Get up in the morning
Then I don't know
What ever will
I like to think I'll get there...
456 · Apr 2
AI luddite
Does AI have potential?
Yup, absolutely. It could be great!
Will it make people's life better?
Probably not....

Like every other
Disruptive technology before it
Seems to me that AI is here only
To improve the lives of the
Few tycoons that own it

True, AI will cut costs like crazy
Well, guess what? We're people
Not outdated expendable assets
We're not costs to be cut

'Oh, but I'm a high end specialist'
Make no mistake, sunshine
AI's after your job too

I suppose I've become
Sort of an AI luddite now
So follow me, good friends
And together we'll trash
Every big tech datacenter

And who knows?
We might even have
A billionaire's head or two...
Grab your pitchfork and light your torches! It'll be a hell of a party!!
450 · May 29
Exhausting
Lately my life feels like
A road leading nowhere
And that's exhausting...
Just hanging by a thread here...
441 · Jan 8
The attic
Since I was a little kid
There was something
Deeply disturbing about
The attic at my parent's
It was chilling cold there
It made unnatural noises
And it felt like the walls
Were always watching

One night when I was 17
And home alone, I woke up
To what sounded like nails
Scratching the wooden panels
So at the top of my teenager
Stupidity, I took an old pistol
And went to check out what
Was going on there

I went upstairs, gun drawn
Just to have my jaw dropped as
I saw this slim and tall shadow
Standing in front of the fireplace
I stood there in utter shock for
What seemed like a lifetime
Until I gathered the courage
To ask: 'who are you?'

The shadow replied with
A deep and inhuman voice:
'I'm the demon that your
Grandfather brought with him
From the Great War in the east
From him, I passed down to your
Father and now the time has
Come for me to dwell in you'

In an adrenaline rush, I ran
Downstairs as fast as I could
Slammed my beedroom door
Locked it and barricaded it
But the demon wouldn't quit
He tried to break in, frantically
Pounding and screaming:
'Let me in, let me in'
This is the most terrifying nightmare I ever had. My therapist said this is my subconscious telling me I want to be different from my father and his father... but I don't know. To this day, I'm not entirely sure it wasn't real.
419 · Sep 2024
30's
I desperately hold on to
The remnants of my youth
As late autumn dying leaves
Getting older is such a scary thought...
411 · Mar 31
My people
Lately I've been feeling
Disconnected from the world
It seems such a dreadful place
It feels far away from home

So I come to my safe haven
Read and write for hours
Write and read some more
And I know I'm not alone

For I get to see each of you
The outcasts, the weirdos
The misfits, the poets...
But above all, the kind

My little beacons of hope...
My people
I love Hepo and I've met the most incredible people around here... but I'm not sure it's such a safe space anymore.
REPOST: written in Jan/25.
406 · Jan 27
My people
Lately I've been feeling
Disconnected from the world
It seems such a dreadful place
It feels far away from home

So I come to my safe haven
Read and write for hours
Write and read some more
And I know I'm not alone

For I get to see each of you
The outcasts, the weirdos
The misfits, the poets...
But above all, the kind

My little beacons of hope...
My people
It doesn't matter that english is my third language and my poetry *****... you always make me feel special. Just wanted you to know how amazing you are too!
388 · Aug 2024
Inertia
It's as sad as it gets...
To behold the world out there
Bursting with magnificent colours
While I'm comfortably stuck
On the other side of the glass
Drowning in my own inertia
A few words about getting older. About everyday struggles and how futile they seem. Maybe society is just built to glue us to the ground... or maybe there's just something wrong with me.
364 · Aug 2024
Quarter life crisis
I used to be bold and fearless
Annoyingly self assured
Daydreaming about greatness
Telling everyone about how
Someday I'd rule the world.

Those days are long gone
Making me feel like a hollow shell
A mere shadow of my former self
And life became all about
Playing a role I simply can't fit
Fooling everyone...
But me
Will this anguish and emptiness ever go away?
328 · Feb 6
Sundress
When I picture happiness
I think about how stunning
You looked in that sundress
And even better without it
Probably the only thing I appreciate about summer...
294 · May 13
Little struggles
A depressive episode
Is a terrible experience
But once you're through
All the chaos and despair
The aftermath can be
Even worse...

Every color fade
Like you're watching life
Through an analog filter
While everyday tasks
Seem like climbing
Mount Everest

But we keep going
We somehow accomplish
Our extraordinary ordinary
Invisible little struggles
Just to get through
Another day

And maybe that's enough
It's been 2 months since my last depressive episode...
278 · May 26
Quiet life
My spirit yearns to
Leave this godforsaken
City for good

To build a couzy chalet
Hidden somewhere
Amidst the alps

And to watch the
Seasons change while
Playing guitar on the porch
With my dogs at my feet

So why does a quiet life
Keeps getting away from me?
Maybe it's just not meant to be...
277 · Jan 31
Orange man
Orange man says
There’s a special people
The ones chosen by God
While everyone else might
Just disappear abroad

Not pleased merely
By casting every race
Deemed inferior away
He now threatens them
With Guantanamo bay

But orange man can’t really
Mean any of this nonsense
At least I hope that’s true
Mustache man was a joke
Until it was far overdue
The similarity of speeches is frightening. If you're a fan of orange man, for all of our sakes, I REALLY hope you're right and that's no more than cheap talk...
267 · Jun 10
Grayer
It's not that I'm needy
Nor is it because I'm bored
It's just the ineffable fact
That life's a little grayer
Without you
247 · Sep 2024
Home
I long for home
Though I'm not sure
Where home is anymore
It's exhausting not knowing where you belong...
115 · Jun 5
Spanish Jàvea
I'm in town
And we need to talk
'Meet me in the gardens
Where Wilhelm used to
Walk with die Kaiserin'

She told me that she
Got married last September
To some hotshot politician
(People say he's the future
Prime Minister)

And that there's
A baby ******* the way
And how they're moving
Back to London to
Start a family

To which I politely
Congratulated her

She took a deep breath:
'We should have
Run away to my father's
House in the Spanish Jàvea
When we had the chance'

'Yes, maybe we should've
But it doesn't matter now'
A fragment of a dialogue
Charlottenburg, May/2018
112 · Jun 3
In a world without you
The depths should
Cry out your name and
The winds ought to whisper
A solemn elegy for you

But Earth kept spinning
And the crowds kept laughing
Oblivious to the fact that
You're suddenly gone

How dare they
Finding happiness
In a world without you?
How could I ever forgive them for not mourning for you...?

— The End —