Sometimes I imagine us holding hands,
Walking along the harbor:
You, telling stories of all these lost years
       like a pelican begging for food
Making music out of my invisible tears

But maybe instead of holding your hand
I should hold on to the future
And stop chasing your footprints in the sand
Only to be led nowhere.
I will no longer swim in these tears.
I have felt the ache of the salt burn on my skin for far too long.
It’s not worth docking on this pier
If you don’t treasure me like the shells along your shore.

So I set sail.
I will find a new island to call my own &
Sculpt the land like shaping clay on a pottery wheel.

I will treasure all of my shells and secrets
The way you did not treasure me.
And for once, I will command the sea.

my demon is anger.
it rises and erupts in me;
i’m no longer a quiet, cool ocean,
but a fiery, angry volcano.
my demon escapes when i am weakest.
it wants me to be strong,
to dominate.
to destroy.
to be the best.
my demon is my curse.
it’s a part of me.
it makes me, me,
but i think it’s ugly.
it’s hideous.
i want to put an end to the anger,
but with two small hands
i can’t possibly stop a volcano.

i’m​ ​possessive.
i​ ​can​ ​be​ ​mean,​ ​even​ ​if​ ​i’m​ ​shy.
especially​ ​to​ ​the​ ​people​ ​i​ ​love.
i​ ​care​ ​for​ ​each​ ​one​ ​of​ ​my​ ​friends​ ​and​ ​family,
that’s​ ​why​ ​it’s​ ​easiest​ ​to
hurt​ ​them.

the ray of sunlight
peaks through the over sized clouds,
and that’s when i want to wave hello to the shining light
that is calling my name.
i shield my oval eyes, watch the darkness
that surrounds the sunlight
[ the small dust particles all around
light up too, as luminous as the sun itself ]
i want to run towards this crepuscular ray
- this bright, shining light - that pleads for me.
i’ll skip on clouds, dance till i reach my destination
i’ll run up to the sky, bask in the single ray
of light
that is slowly fading.
i’ll lie underneath its radiance,
until it finally  d i s a p p e a r s .

dried up skulls
with motionless eyes
pulled out of their sockets
lie about on forgotten land
as more are placed in
the jars, already filled with other
dusty, dirt covered eyeballs.
the strangely clean glass containers
in which the eyes are placed
stand on wood shelves,
calling,
              b e g g i n g,
to be set free
from the trap of the elderly,
blind man's clutches.

sugar boy,
your heart is caked like a treat,
soft as a bendy gummy;
but your eyes are what get at me,
for they shine like those
glow-in-the-dark rubber bands
that little kids played with.

sugar boy,
you're as sweet
as those dum-dum
lollipops.
your smile is as gentle
as a little, innocent kid
who is listening for
the ice cream truck.
your tears, however,
look so salty and
burn your face with
blackness.

sugar boy,
i'll wipe away those tears.
i'll make them fade
by a soft kiss on the lips.
i'll caress your ginger colored
cheek with my dry hands,
i'll make us both sweet lovers,
both so imperfect.

your eyes shimmer in the dark;
i finally see the possibility of love
in our matching hearts.

love glowing like a soft light,
euphoria & delight crossed
in this tale of
                m a g i c .

for i know that now
we will always be together,
whether it be with this
enchantment, or without.
(somehow your smile
leads me back to you)

i see stars
in her eyes.
no —
not just stars;
solar systems
in which just the two
of us wander through,
individual souls lost
in a pool of darkness.
that darkness devours
every last bit of hope,
and that is why i know
we cannot be together.

to do today
or leave till tomorrow -
a simple thought
that only requires
my procrastination.

a sigh of tiredness
hoping that it could
only be done
on a day that's
not today.

a wish of regret,
coming on the last minute
of when something
could have been done
before.

a mere idea
to be deepened over time
after quite a while
when i did it
not today.

having so many
questions, questions, and more
that will be
answered
never.

then
i think to myself,
i can do it today
[ but i can also do it
not today. ]

i see the world in your eyes
our world.

every color in those eyes,
shining bright like a star
waves washing upon sandy shores,
sweeping away lost memories.

a crystal blue, sharp and strong
a lost night sky, filled with the forgotten.

i see the future in those eyes
*our future.

i.
bravery, strength given for the better
a power in which only few may have
as a part of their life -
one that i certainly do not possess.
it can be transformed into the
shy living.

ii.
kindness, a value that is most special
most important and helpful
useful as it may be, it has
flaws that can be cracked:
broken leaves falling to the ground,
only a piece of truth.

iii.
anger, somewhat misunderstood
it can strengthen us at weakest moments
and break us in  t w o
little shattered glints of glass replacing
fragments of happiness.

these few traits are the composed parts,
pieces, bits of information inside of us that
we take to live our lives,

combined personalities.

sweet love; never ending
mean friends; never true
yourself; behind mask
we all have flaws.