They say a picture is worth a thousand words
Well these words are worth a couple pictures
They are some of the most important ones
Like “I’m sorry”.. “Thank you”..and my favorite one,
“I love you”
and though I’ve never needed them
I have always wanted them
And every time I see them I ask myself if I do not deserve them
Will there ever come a time when one of them will remind you of me?
I know that I am not a sunflower,
Because the sun tends to always be on the side that I am not looking at
Perhaps I’m more of a lotus flower, whose muddy waters you’d rather stay away from
Or am I a rose and you are simply afraid that my thorns will hurt you?
What I really feel like
Is a field of dandelions... full of all the things you’d wish to change in me..
and yet sometimes I can’t help but to think that perhaps,
I am not a flower at all
Perhaps I have been pulled so far from my roots that I can no longer grow
My petals are damaged and I have stopped blooming
Maybe that is why I want but can not ask for some simple flowers..
I just hope that the day I receive them it won’t be by grace..
No I’m sorry
No thank you
No I love you
But rather an “I miss you..”

Right beside my grave

You do not get to hurt my feelings and call it "art"
I will not gift you in that way
You own all the credit but I refuse to give you fame
This is not a poem
If it were it'd be titled with your name
Details about how the clouds couldn't compete with me but instead,
I am feeling that feeling with no name
And that's why
This is not a poem
As I'm lying on this bed
I will sign it and hide it within my drawer labeled 12 AMs
Because you are not an artist
They create beauty from their own pain
But you have used mine
You will never know what it said
I still love you
But I must remind you,

that this is not a poem.

Beneath a stone with script
Locked away for 50 years lie 1" and "3"...

My mind is on a treadmill still trying to find the reason why
We walked up the stage wearing the same cap and gown,
But not all of us will get to say our vows down the aisle
And the more I think of it the less sense it makes
Because I thought we'd live for fifty more and if not, at least ten
So I guess this is the memo
for the raincheck on our class reunion, till' we see you again
I just ask you walk besides us, like you did that night in June
Spread the warmth of your spirits as you look over us
The year before they wept and we wept with them
But it's been three hard blows and it's still far too soon

And now, there are flowers.

Beneath three stones
lie over 600+ affected lives
What was once white and blue is now different shades of grey
But you'll live long after you're gone,
Within a capsule and within our hearts
Accustomed to the sharpening of our edges,
We'll be missing you,

L1ving L3gends

Isn't it ironic how the things that haunt us most are horrid terrible things yet when written out make the most beautiful pieces of art..

I am trying hard to fall asleep
but the sun just rose within me and my blanket's far too shallow to cover its liveliness..

I don't want to hurt you
but my words cut like razors
all my feelings have burnt my insides
and I don't know what love is
so don't ask me to give you any

you're trying to save me,

I'm trying to save you

creased, bruised, and probably a bit cracked
she was bent, in and out of shape so many times her feelings were far too familiar with contortion
but she was whole
a parodox, she was.
if you asked her what she loved she would probably tell you she was unaware of the word
but her veins told a different story, they mapped passages and roads, broken bridges and rigid ropes intertwining
and at every end there were images, memories you could touch and tug that would make her eyes sparkle
but you'd never guess it
see, most days she tends to act like her morning coffee,
dark and bitter
and I bet if you tried to count her eyelashes as she'd fall asleep you'd lose count and fall unconscious due to her surrounding force
she probably doesn't know this
but she is art
she always has been.
not the written or the spoken kind
but the kind that's hung up on a wall, highly overpriced and rarely understood
her edges were sharp
but she had no frame
she was art,
and I didn't need Picasso's signature to know that.

As a child, I have always had a sense of love towards the rain
Its smell, sound and feeling engraved inside my sole being
Yet a single drop and the streets are but streetlights and dull colored umbrellas
and I'd wonder, why are people so afraid of dark skies?
Until I realized, for humans, it is okay to stray away from those who need you most when the clouds above them are an ill colored grey
but if the sky above me has days where the sun can't be found
And it needs to cry,
Then it should
because most times my heart beats like thunder,
My veins look like lighting,
And it begins to pour rain
And so I've realized, if I were a form of nature
who pushes people away
I'd probably be a category 5 Hurricane
With a six page newspaper spread

There is ambition, but no motivation
in the mind of "what could I be?"
conflicting thoughts flooding within
unraveling all the negativity
20/20 sight but blinding any vision
and every premature dream becomes only a bruised thought in the mind of a dreary dreamer
there is no way to go,
if you don't know where you're going
losing all hope, but refusing to give up
a walking contradiction
but they still see blurred colors
and enjoy the fog
so they'll keep walking blindly
side to side with their negative thoughts
and that's why they are my favorite
because I too, am one
a kaleidoscope dreamer-
I don't know where I'm going
but I'll know before I'm gone

You know what drives me crazy,
So insane?
I'm here dying for your attention
when you threw it down the drain
My mind's been missing for a while,
But after you left it became a hopeless case
I know you know I miss you
I know you feel the same
And if you want we'll leave it all behind
We'll start over again
I'm not asking for an apology
I'm just asking for some pain
Cause you look so human but you act a different way
I love you, present tense
But pride's always been your middle name
I've been dying to tell you how much I miss you
But I can't-
And that's what's driving me so crazy,
driving me insane

Such a common trend
I could've been daddy's little princess but you left mommy out in the rain
when you found out 1 2 and 3 were on their way
you didn't even flinch
but everything's okay
see she made sure I never needed you
worked multiple jobs just to afford a smile or two
and when she had to leave
we were never afraid, because she wasn't like you
I didn't mind your absence but why'd you leave the black & blues?
no longer visible on her skin but emotionally they'll always live
and truthfully, that's the only reason I resent you
because when your name is mentioned I simply ask:
dad Who?
see I never asked questions like "where is he?"
because you made sure I never met you
and at my high school graduation the headcount was perfection
now I understand why some children are actually lucky when they're born to one parent instead of two
After all,
what kind of princess would want to live in a castle with a daddy like you?

Your physique is stunning but what's within those walls is pure gold
I want to touch every inch of the thoughts that lead to those feelings of yours
Let my words ****** your fears until they finally give in
I'll massage every one of your tears until they open the doors
Don't try to lock me out for this temptation I can no longer hold
Push away your happiness facade, I want to reach your inner core
Allow me to kiss every bruise inside your long darkened soul
Let our words interwine and your dreams unfold
You've inspired me to aspire
Let me make love to your mind..

Constantly here
but never at my current location
galaxies away in my mind's endless space
lost
with no intent to be found
acknowledging your absence
but refusing to excuse it
physically,
everything's fine
inside, rage the emotional bruises

I gave you my best, it was belittled
perhaps expectations were held too high
Perhaps
actions were performed too slow
but it was not enough
Perhaps I wasn't either
Well, someday that isn't today/wasn't yesterday and might not be tomorrow
you will remember
those times I asked you to stay
days I acted busy
nights where sleep was absent
I am sorry
for
anything and everything
but one day I will be gone
Aside from your thoughts and mind I -
will be gone forever.
and I just wonder if you'll remember
how much I loved the rain,
why I didn't have a favorite song or-
how my favorite color always changed
but I don't want you to cry or reminisce
you take all your memories and go home
for I was too sorry
And you were too late

You crawled up within my skin
took a taste of my anxiety and welcomed yourself in
wove my fears together and built yourself a home
upon the road of my aching bones
you travel endlessly
and all these indoor bruises that they can not see
I can never stop feeling
Unable to keep you away
I buried my secrets six feet deep
but every day you bring them flowers
everyday you sing to them
and now I am the stranger
wandering hopelessly around your new home
every day I knock,
but no one's ever home

When you meet them, you will not see it
but you will feel it
your heart will beat steadier/
your palms will find relaxation
warmth will no longer lie within your favorite winter sweater
and suddenly
their worries will become your own
their pain will flow through your veins
then one night you will lie awake in bed and realize that the soul you're in love with is broken
you will hurt eachother
sometimes they'll cut you deeper
but you will only care to heal their scars
you were drowning in your own cup of water and along came another broken glass
there will be days when the sun won't shine as bright
nights when your bed sheets will feel colder
their eyes won't always sparkle at the sound of your voice
and you will feel it in your stomach,
in your soul
when they cry
your throat will knot first
and the saddest thing is, you will signify their happines
you - who are broken too
but they are not waiting on you to fix them

things won't always be okay
and that's…okay

I lost my mind the other night on the 3am bus to Figure It Out highway
thought it'd be okay to let it wander for a few hours until the storm cleared out but when I went back I couldn't find it
Now nothing makes sense,
I can't understand this
Tried to act normal but problems keep knocking on my door asking to stick around
I dodge all the questions hoping every night that it finds its way home
It's getting really crowded in here but I still feel alone
Lying wide awake at night
not knowing what the time is
I lost my mind a while back
I'm still trying to find it

all your goodbyes were once temporary
even on your darkest nights
your light, still bright
so legendary
but this time you left,
with no early warning
this time you left
and forgot to keep your light on
now they're signing names with pain tinted writing
asking for your peace
while they are torn to pieces
but heaven's not a place on
earth
or you would've found it
crazy when someones passes the ones who really die stand around the casket
but you were a fighter
all your strength, you have passed it
on to us and in your prayers..
gone now but your spirit lives forever