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july hearne Sep 2018
we stood in our scarlet, costco bought handmaiden costumes
wordlessly taking a stand
because words matter

it is a stoic thing
to make history

kamala harris
wisely having her moment
so far, the height of her career

then we re-enacted various episodes
of House of Cards
all in front of Judiciary Committee

afterwards, we were given some money.

before going home to watch netflix, we had to educate the world
on the language they are and are not allowed to use,
because we need to control the world's vocabulary
especially since so many people are ******-phobes
and we still think the term "hateful bigot" holds power.

thank god for the 25th amendment,
there is no way in hell that we will lose another election,
but if we do, we can always fall back on 25A.
*Leonard Cohen-The Future
july hearne Jul 2018
the homeless are ******* in the streets,
well some of them are

the homeless have been ******* in the streets
a lot lately

when they are not getting scatological on the streets of seattle
they are conjuring the other images of themselves, because there is always so much more to this story
as they sit on the sidewalk and/or in entrances of shops, restaurants, and other commercial establishments
throwing empty beer cans in the street
at the people walking past

they say seattle is going to be the next san francisco
because that is what tech is, nothing new
forgotten already done ideas redone
same price tags same coast line same **** in the streets

they must have thought something better
was here, waiting for them
when they rode into town
from other towns
housing, more drugs, a new life
in these streets that they **** in

not sure what they heard
their tents under the over pass
their trash upon the hill
overlooking the highway

their tents always have a highway view
their trash too

i should be that afraid of my own life
of what tomorrow will be
oversharing in a voice
that is not my own
miss jean brodie in **** city style
ISAIAH 5:8
july hearne Jul 2018
pennies on the screen
diamonds in the ground

deep under and down ticking down

pennies on the screen
down ticking down
deep under
they found diamonds in the ground

light going out
where baby stars surround
the dim star devoured the young planet
death star's got to eat

a refill of fear
then off the rails again
second hand smoke
would be a great improvement
Shame Shame Shame
Jul 2018 · 3.0k
a subsidized rocket ship
july hearne Jul 2018
after the crossroads
the wrong turns
and taken risks not worth taking

there came a time in my life
when nothing came next

no highways calling out for me
just painted rainbow crosswalks
for staying put

i stayed inside a lot
the more i hid
the dirtier the carpet got

it was cheap and poorly cut
to begin with, the dirt i was daring to become filth didn't help

the more i hated the cost of living
the dirtier the carpet got
the richer jeff bezos got

so stupid i thought

it was a daily thought
my own personal seventieth seven

antichrist and nothing
but crowds to fill his headquarters
hairless cat of a shepherd and his reusable sheep
i stayed inside a lot

so stupid i thought
the more i hid
the dirtier the carpet got
we can only hope
a subsidized rocket ship
can only launch so high
Jul 2018 · 1.3k
joyce carol oates wrote
july hearne Jul 2018
it's a surgical thing
to become so real

like the new thing, the next big thing
confirmations everywhere

tech bro's and rainbows
can't handle this season
of my life

can't wait until the rainbows
fade

can't get along with the season
next one coming next

no one to talk to
marching forth like saints
the whole world a cult to join
or not join
july hearne Jul 2018
we are not safe
all the markets could come crashing down
it could happen any day now

a blue origin rocket ship
never making it to its final destination

no man knows the hour or the day
no man knoweth that

bridget jones had her cigarettes
with wine and mr darcy
but i only have **** and a plastic
one liter bottle of coke zero
and no mr darcy to know the hour or the day

helen fielding, enabler of the delusional,
recycled happy endings

but the plastic coke bottle
isn't a jane austen novel
and the chinese don't want our garbage anymore

there is enough garbage in china already

"there are 8.3 billion tons of plastic in the world"
8.8 million metric tons are chinese trash
for the yangtze river to carry to the sea

sometimes i feel just like garbage previously shipped to china

trash and blue origin debris
comeuppance for the yangtze river to carry to the sea







endless oceans end
same place plastic rocketship garbage begins
https://www.rt.com/business/432912-us-waste-recycling-landfills-china/

"Garbage previously shipped to China is now piling up in places like the processing plant in Elkridge, Maryland, where tons of trash arrive every day from the US capital."
Jul 2018 · 5.6k
emptiness, emptiness
july hearne Jul 2018
big mess
big miss
emptiness, emptiness

a big mess grows
all the places emptiness goes
can't always have a garden,
a flower garden
a  dancing kiss upon a fountain

two tiny feet standing on the fountain
two tiny feet, light as air
dancing on the fountain
where kiss on the cheek is a little unfair

i last saw you there
in pictures of what must have felt so weightless

could have been a little more gracious
not just some harmful acquaintance

sure as a black hole to fall through
moment i met you
doing nothing for you

king helpless child
my biggest miss
all the ways to my emptiness
emptiness
nowhere to go
i've been to the places emptiness goes
in this big mess that grows and grows
Neil Young Lyrics



"Flying On The Ground (Is Wrong)"

Is my world not falling down
I'm in pieces on the ground
And my eyes aren't open
And I'm standing on my knees
But if crying and holding on
And flying on the ground is wrong
Then I'm sorry to let you down,
But you're from my side of town
And I'll miss you.

Turn me up or turn me down
Turn me off or turn me round
I wish I could have
met you in a place
Where we both belong
But if crying and holding on
And flying on the ground is wrong
Then I'm sorry to let you down,
But you're from my side of town
And I'll miss you.

Sometimes I feel
like I'm just a helpless child
Sometimes I feel like a king.
But baby, since I have changed
I can't take nothing home.

City lights at a country fair
Never shine but always glare
If I'm bright enough to see you,
You're just too dark to care.
But if crying and holding on
And flying on the ground is wrong
Then I'm sorry to let you down,
But you're from my side of town
And I'll miss you.
july hearne Jul 2018
it has been twenty years
since i once met him in person

once

we met in las vegas
and stayed at a cheap motel
in different rooms

and that is what i have been remembering
the most lately
is the cheap motel
as if there were marbles on the carpeting
of the motel floor
and i slipped on one

the marble game, just something to do
winner wins and keeps on winning
once i am tripped
even before i have fallen to the floor
for it is certain i will fall to the floor

tiny marbles to lose
tiny marbles rolling by
he aimed his tiny marbles at me
he shot his tiny marbles at me

i laid on the floor
for many years after
an easy place to be
got up, fell down, up once more
finally fell down and just stayed down

on the floor not seeing how
life could ever get decent again
a whole lifetime ahead of me
with no *** appeal
and nothing to fall back on

just a tiny marble
for my back to fall on
new skin too rough for any other skin
july hearne Jul 2018
marijuana, fourth of july,
and even then
that anthony bourdain look in your eye

never did know
how much i could relate

and that’s what i do these days,
i relate and relate

soon it will be time to remember
you'll be gone four years already,
and i've lived the kind of life
that knows better than to face you
around or gone four years already
Jul 2018 · 1.1k
salt gone bad
july hearne Jul 2018
went and gone
into your time
after its time

that was love
the discontinued
instant messenger
never coming back

felt just like squanto
heart still sinking
returning to
nothing left to return to
Apr 2018 · 403
in the time of big tech
july hearne Apr 2018
fifteen thousand days
for things to go wrong

it was just one of those fifteen thousand days
where things didn't go so well
that was today,

in my time
there is no more time
only stoner time
and five dollar andre wine
marked down to 4.99

tired of the everyday loser
in the last of light
hating sunday nights
for all they're worth
for all their worth
change the tense to the time,

in my time,  there is no more time
only stoner time
i couldn't make the distinction
in time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gdoUIgWZ5c&index=2&list=FLXopt9nnBkenZ2qfc_VCXeA





at least bill cosby got handed a guilty verdict,
so much for america's dad telling everyone to pull up their pants
while he wore his patchwork robe and ***** all those women
july hearne Mar 2018
kevin told me he was going to quit his job today
i sit beside him at a temp job
in a cramped cubicle

the whole thing is terrible
i fail at my little temp job
all day long

he lost his phone three days ago,
the new kid from new york
told him he should just call his carrier
and buy insurance, then wait a few days
and report the phone as lost or stolen
to get a replacement

kevin was not willing to do that
i never bothered to follow up
and ask if he had found his phone

i'm not sure what he will do with all
his time on no income
he is an extravert who likes to go out

a few months ago
i gave kevin a forceful
and impassioned lecture
about how no one should be
treated like **** at their jobs
and thats why i had quit mine

then kevin said he wished he had a ******* fund
i told kevin to save his money
kevin told me that was in debt because
there was this girl in this band
and he spent a lot of money on uber and lyft
and going out drinking

i wasn't sure if there were additonal purchases in that story
about the girl and the debt

i hope i didn't inspire him to quit his job
with no back up plans
he said he was tired of waiting around for things to get better

he really loves the music of the nineties
he said it was the   best time to grow up
he is into third eye blind, the gin blossoms,
breeders and some other singers of songs
that were just songs i listened to on the radio
waiting for another song to come on

who will i talk to now
sometimes, when i'm not persauding people
to quit their jobs, i watch shows about prison,
people who end up in prison for ******, accomplice,
arson, ****, embezzlement, other
just so i can feel a little relieved
i'm not like them
at least it's not prison,

all the going too far in the world
never keeping from going too far
everytime the
i see double
Feb 2018 · 275
fog
july hearne Feb 2018
fog
good morning dystopia
i could really use a rick grimes
to drink my instant coffee with
but all you bring me are the
orange and white umbrellas
infesting the sidewalks of south lake union
every misty morning

home was never home
and is still not home
though there is no place left to go

i've been half meaning to write a book
about a  species that is saved from extinction
but then spreads a deadly virus that wipes
most of us out
Feb 2018 · 1.5k
"another journey by train"
july hearne Feb 2018
some songs i will always like
others songs i have long lost use for

so there is no song for you
all these years later
a quarter of a century
is too many years for someone like you
even for someone like me

you looked like everything was catching up to you
as your face hung, stubble showing through
your make-up

did you ever try and leave this town
this small, expensive town
you never left it
well i did and sadly came back

it was raining
when you got off at the stop
in the bad neighborhood

probably the closest place to town you could afford
i wondered if you weren't doing well finacially
and smiled to myself
remembering you telling me i was so ugly
on many different occasions, a few times
as you burnt incense in your bedroom
making shapely hand guestures in the air,
playing and counting your many cassette tapes
as pictures of madonna looked down
her mole and redlipstick

still look down for you
because you were dressed
the same way you were dressed
in highschool

long black overcoat to slim yourself down
black creepers to add height
i stared out the window
into the look time decided on in your eyes
at you walking on to the only home you could afford
and it looked like something
very fair had finally happened
Jan 2018 · 401
hello again yesterday
july hearne Jan 2018
it has been dark out for an hour
and nothing's been done

list is too long for the marijuana
so there is too much to do
because not enough has been done
not even close

hello again yesterday,
hello over and over again
yesterday

i am locked sometime  back in highschool
outside the one hundred building
walking to the next class

those faces passing by every school day
of that life
in all the same faces
there are two faces
black turtleneck boy smiling at me through his long bangs
i ignored, never made eye contact
or wondered

no john hughes action there

other guy calling out
something about me or the guy i was with
and what freaks  we were

i responded by spitting in his face
it surprised him
which surprised me

walking away
taking all the wrong steps
take me down
to the paradise city
where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty
july hearne Jan 2018
i look for signs
in all the cardboard signs
never find them
keep my money

keep the windows open
keep cold hands
keep my lighter busy
devil dancing all the way behind me

not a pretty picture
by day, a five year old child
who needs to be told what to do

if they hadn't have cut out my tongue
old boy, I'd really have a lot to say
about the guy in the purple bandanna,
hadn't seen him in months, but he re-emerged
recently,
he is still short, his hair is still curly
he still carries himself importantly

looking so ridiculous to me
it's been mean out lately

a woman is yelling at him
he calls her a ****
she keeps right on yelling
she really has a lot to say

she keeps on walking away in both directions
and she keeps on coming back

she is not going to shut the **** up
july hearne Jan 2018
some dreams are made for diplomat's sons
some hands are not attached to potters
i have two of those hands
i have no potter's hands
i only have two hands

to hold all the wrong things
from hurt to hurtful
to wrinkle their fingers
like caved in ribs of an umbrella
that will not withstand

or press in the growing eyebag
i have no potter's hands
and it mostly makes me feel bad
"your running tires
they're out of pressure
such a sign only you would know"
july hearne Dec 2017
One at a time
Guys in bands leave Shannon’s
Apartment every other Sunday morning
They walk down the green carpeted steps
With scowls on their faces

They walk through the black iron gates
That shut Shannon in behind them
As they walk off, better places to go,

Shannon smokes her thirties away
On a third story balcony
She stares out on the black iron gates that shut her in

The fog will never lift in her highschool parking lot
Some short lived September through October
There had been no brighter sun
Than those mornings in her highschool parking lot
Except for the days it rained


Roland Gift had convinced her
She had been so duped.
If she pictured herself dying, she pictured her self lying down with a copy of open book titled “The Short Life Of Carl Sanders” in one hand and maybe a flower in the other hand. Something red, probably a poppy between her finger and her thumb. The sagging petals would drift away by the time she was found, the way petals always do.



Just the other day she pictured that.
july hearne Dec 2017
there are things
i can't do anymore
i've been doing all those things
a lot lately

just can't stop
every night the songs are played
i've had enough but i would just
have to do nothing or do something else

i'de like to be more descript
but every night
i inhale something lit
and scott gimple just knows
he is a better writer than Robert Kirkman
every time he kills off the main character,
the most integral part of the story,
the whole reason for the story in the first place
the most integral guy in the story
july hearne Dec 2017
how hard can you fight
without the plot armour
that could really be useful right now

more moth holes in the sweaters
as the cost of living costs
the cost of living lives

dark lights never shut up
for a purpose they don't serve
everything for the wrong one

always leaving you with that feeling
tomorrow's going to be a really bad day
the rat is always the bad omen
july hearne Dec 2017
Happy, happy April Fool’s Day,
Make it a good one
Search terms searching the night away
I have gone too far away

Nothing to breathe
Pleasure and the fume
Fists of a clock
Entering a dark room

When you were younger, you sort of looked like
Lou Reed looked when he was young
Maybe not up close, I was too far away
It was too hard to see
You were all I could see
That's just who you were to me

So many, so meaningless
I could not ever make you exist
I should have kept it zipped
But I turned the vocals up just a little bit

I should have been more kind
But not to you,
I should not have lacked so much in empathy
For all those suffering around me
I should have kept them better company
But it was too hard to see
You were all I could see
Good, good things happen to bad people,
To cruel and unusual people

There is good news, even for bad people
Bad people are never alone

Dumb fathers many children
L’Wren Scott never had any of her own

Seven million, so many, so meaningless
Too many pay too much for this
High prices for good feelings that just don't exist




Do not go back to visit on a day
You have nothing to do or on a day
You have other things to do

Leave it where it is
It is in its place

Un-recaptured
Haunted in empty fairgrounds
Canary not coming back from the coal mine

Missed connection disconnecting

Better keep the past in the past
Lowly places built in place
Of torn down places
july hearne Dec 2017
so brave
so thirsty
so scott gimple

as you boldly go
declining the standard advice
instead you can drink too much
at the christmas party

so brave
so thirsty
so about to bring up bill cosby

to your co-worker's fat and loudly still racist husband
as you sit near the nice black lady who works
at the front desk, smiles at you every morning
and orders all the good stuff for the breakroom
scott gimple will tell you Carl was just a lie

"once i was a soldier and i fought on foreign sands for you
once i was a hunter..
once i was a lover
and i searched behind your eyes for you
and soon there'll be another
to tell you i was just a lie"
july hearne Dec 2017
pioneer
pilgrim

lost little children

Rachel had too much to cry about
do you even know the great amount

waiting on a true existence
ditched at the bar by some girl named valerie
cell phone, white dress
arms i don't want around me

so many sweet things never going to be
way on down the line, they are too far behind
rain or shine,
weather's been looking kind of lonely out there

two tiny feet standing on a fountain, light as air
where a kiss on the cheek seems a little unfair
in pictures of what must have felt so weightless

could have been a little more gracious
not just some harmful acquaintance

another black hole to fall through
another round on janis joplin,
so many sad times for little girl blue

so many in a million
moment i met you
doing nothing for you
                                 
son of my mourning
son of your own right hand
downpour's been pouring
falling at your command
falling like stars made of sharp chinese

i'm so tired of waiting on all these sweet things
do you even know the great amount
sad eyed Rachel had so much to cry about

arms i don't want around me
so many sweet things never going to be
way on down the line, they are too far behind
Dec 2017 · 329
can't face them day to day
july hearne Dec 2017
Bake up, tomorrow we can change our lives,
So many disappointments about town tonight,
Pine is down on its needles
Moon's not coming down from its rise,

Bake up,
Sad numbers are selfie pictures
Taken in thick make up,

My mother’s black eye
Always found it best
To get in the last word

Once her head was a hole in the wall
Last word kept on coming

Age is much more than a number
It is the saddest number of all
Edge of a feather is sad too
It is a sad place to stand
Even in fair weather

The good old days that were never here are gone now
And the new days keep on coming
Like her last words
"though my problems are meaningless that don't make them go away"

sang neil young
july hearne Nov 2017
Winter, winter mornings
What you going to promise, promise me
Winter, winter morning
You might have been the diamond
Wasted like a diamond,

Wasted love
Untasted love

I am walking all your blocks
Onward to hopeless
***** passing ***** by
An asbestos blanket to wrap the homeless
A man who knows his worth
So falsely

The cold is painful
There's a ditch with my name in it
As the sun shines so brightly

Please don't see me, you see so kindly
Your kindness kind of gets to me
I still have some things left to lose
Time numbs until it doesn't
I was but then I wasn't
It wasn't too much to ask
Just too hard to be
I didn't like me once I met me
I don't think you can help me

The harder it is to look at
The more it needs to spill out
Nov 2017 · 282
though you may not drive...
july hearne Nov 2017
the thoughts are never capable
so the clothes are always too tight
with short lived pauses of too big
once they have stretched out of shape

the unemployed summer has passed
the moths and their stealthy summer nights
live on
every sweater has three holes in the exact same places

life is never where you want it to be
as you live it wearing chewed up old sweaters

well that's misspent for you
sewing them holes up with the wrong color thread
waving hello to what ever is left
something about embarrassment no longer being a deterrent
"you may not have a car at all...


Diamond in the back, sunroof top
Diggin' the scene
With a gangsta lean"
Oct 2017 · 515
Sanctuary City
july hearne Oct 2017
the harder it rains, the more useless the umbrella
the more you need it,
the more useless the umbrella

gone and blown the other way

dumbest thing you ever did in your life
i've done that all too
one dumb thing leads to another dumb thing
such a looped refrain
some dumb things just go together

one dumb thing
then another dumb thing

walking on the busy sidewalks
of chicago the overheard woman
i was watching
was talking friendly to the man beside her
about something he was not interested in
he walked away from her
midsentence

i went home and never forgot that

7 or 8 years later,
i was walking to work in south lake union
IT guy with the too long hair
caught up to me
and complained about his boss

i didn't know what to say
crossing arms crossed tight
conversation dying at the crosswalk
and he walked on ahead
as my hands looked for pockets

one dumb thing beside another dumb thing
such a looped refrain to keep on playing
"the devil runs seattle"
july hearne Oct 2017
i held on to what was left
of my unlit joint
and listened to tom petty
remembering to be afraid

what was left was wrinkled
i thought about today,
what i said, how i couldn't
all of that

sometimes he sings casa dega
it would be better to stay silent,
so much better,
but it's like i read
a conduit
too bad

i need to forget to forget
but i can't flinch from it

i remembered to be afraid
soon, soon
they'll believe everything they've heard

what was left was wrinkled
sometimes he sings casa dega

i held on to what was left
july hearne Oct 2017
my window was so open
they could have just come in
and got me

had i had a heart attack
they were high enough
on their ladder
they were close enough
putting out a fire

it would have been perfect timing
my window was so open
they could have just come in
and got me

my brother introduced me
to tom petty

i came here by mistake
my ten year nightmare
all for no one, all for nothing
last five by mistake
i came here by mistake

i mistook you

king, king nothing
the saddest thing
all the possibility you kept on killing
everything about you
will always be too mean

i mistook you

back in chicago
back then
sleepless in the dark
at least i wasn't back in seattle
back then

i met someone i didn't know
i'de wish i never left unknown
back in chicago
i just want what i could have had
Oct 2017 · 863
behold the master race
july hearne Oct 2017
five of them rode in the car,
the boyfriend, the girlfriend
the friend of the boyfriend,
the friend of the girlfriend
and the friend of the girlfriend's friend

the car pulled over to the side of road
in front of the high school's school yard
across the street from an apartment complex

the friend of the girlfriend's friend got out of the car,
crossed the street
and knocked on the door of one of the apartments
she might have rang the doorbell,

either way, the door was answered
by the sixth person,
gay, teenage, and racist
wore a lot of make-up and had referred to the girlfriend
as little brown girl everytime he had talked to the girlfriend's friend
on the phone, at school, after school
"little brown girl"
he kept on calling her that
said he could never be friends with "little brown girl"

"too brown"
he said

if he didn't already have his make-up on
when he answered the door
then he was putting it on
while the girlfriend waited in the car
with the boyfriend, the boyfriend's friend
and the girlfriend's friend

when the boyfriend, the girlfriend,
and the boyfriend's friend got out of the car
and hid behind the bushes on the sides of the highschool
the friend of the girlfriend's friend walked him out
to the front of the highschool
and the boyfriend, girlfriend, and boyfriend's friend
all ran out from behind the bushes

he certainly had all his make-up on then,

the friend of the girlfriend's friend ran
and the girlfriend's friend waited in the car
lying down in the backseat

there were some screams as she put her fingers to her ears
screams she happily forgot about later
july hearne Oct 2017
i made a fool of myself today
because tom petty died before he did not die
after he died but before he didn't die

i completely gave up at work
my plans to get my **** together
fell through the minute i overheard tom petty had died

i walked home needing to get ******
and delay my plans of cleaning up my act

and now here i am
******, paranoid, and frightened
i didnt realize, i didn't realize
how much i've thrown away
or how much i had to throw away

i just kept right on chasing the ****
then i landed some place bad
and tom petty just died again
i kept up with my interest
i kept up with my payments
july hearne Sep 2017
i don't remember the title of the last one i read
just when i read it i was living it
and it was a really bad trade

for the better life i could have had

dark lights never shut up
for a purpose they don't serve
everything for the wrong one

the cost of living costs
the cost of living lives
Sep 2017 · 129
laundry day came and went
july hearne Sep 2017
in my own time
there is no more time

two swollen feet
two bad knees can not go far
bad news on bad knees
put more space in the wrong place

karen dalton died of aids
in a trailer
i live

by doing as close to nothing as possible
then looking around for someone to blame

there's a few names written on the wall
who do i think of first
what am i afraid of most
looking around the ***** room
july hearne Aug 2017
there's a drink called sweet burgundy
and then another drink called hennesy,
a ****** fine congac

as she sat down
with a glass of hennessy
waiting to die
and typed out her last livejournal entry

where she counted out the pills for us
and told us the names and colors of all three

names and colors i can't remember now
Jul 2017 · 403
jeff bezos and the tip jar
july hearne Jul 2017
i was delighted
when i first heard
michael jackson had died

men who sleep with little boys
and spend copious amounts of time
with them are always pedophiles

that is generally how it works,
but only all the time

soon after, people were posting
about this great loss
on a website i used to post at
they were sad that the *******
was dead

i always thought it was stupid
how he named himself the king of pop
that was a title he gave himself
and pretty much everyone went along with it
even the parents of the little boys he molested

i told the people who were grieving the loss
of the king of *******
that when a man molests a child,
it cancels out everything else
he does in life,
but no one listened, they just got ******* at me
because albums like thriller
are more important than protecting children from abuse

then i told them that "people" who abuse children
are unfit for human life
they told me i was a sociopath
then turned  the conversation
back to how much they all loved thriller
and pepsi commercials

jeff bezos had the tip jars removed
from the amazon cafeteria
because an (overpaid) amazon executive
was told by the cafeteria workers he couldn't use the change
in the tip jar to pay for his order
(after he tried to pay with change from the tip jar)

he then complained to jeff
and jeff decided that the cafeteria workers
who make minimum wage shouldn't have a tip jar
if the tips weren't going to be used to pay
for rich amazon executives lunches

so the next time you place an order with amazon
because you love price fixed counterfeit merchandise so much
go out and apologize to every child and middle class
person that you are personally responsible for displacing
because you owe them a huge ******* apology.
jeff bezos is the biggest conman of the 21st century. and also a ****. and a total *******. too bad they don't do public hangings anymore.

there is no free lunch, only free one day shipping with prime.


https://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/6rv5hl/michael_jackson_chugging_vodka_1986/
Jul 2017 · 263
back in the day
july hearne Jul 2017
elane liked *******
and quite possibly ******
and what ever they called ****
in the late 70's/early 80's

she had a daughter named franny
who i played with
and a husband named glen
who she cheated on when he was out
milking the cows

all the milkers smoked cigarettes
and lived in mobile homes down the hill
from us

except for max who went to church with us
my dad offered him a job while he was in jail
i think he turned himself in for some crime
when he got saved

my dad always liked to hire ex-convicts
because he was a firm believer in grace and mercy
and second chances

anyways, once franny and i got into a fight
about our dads
she said her dad was the boss,
which was confusing to me because
i thought my dad was the boss
we both got mad and cried

i used to pick up the cigarette butts
that the milkers had left in some dried out mud puddle
(i was five or younger so give me a break)
and pretend i was smoking

since my parents were united pentacostal
i was taught all about the glorious
tribulations and persecutions that i would have to live
through before jesus raptured us all to heaven

before i was old enough to be terrified
i pictured myself as being left behind
smoking cigarettes, hiding out in trees
kind of looking forward to it

whenever i would go over to franny's place
we would watch cartoons. ****** doo was my favorite
my parents didn't have a tv, so franny's was where it was
at for me.

elane would come out of her bedroom and yell at
franny to turn the tv down because she was trying to sleep

franny was always telling me how her mommy
had an owie in her nose

later on, glen quit
and moved away with franny and elane

and the mobile home they had lived in
burnt down
"Grace is getting what you don’t deserve, and not getting what you do deserve"
Jul 2017 · 141
loyalty
july hearne Jul 2017
i used to post poetry and short stories
and long, meandering journals
written while ******
on another website,

but quit because membership has gone down
from several thousand to four members over the years.

the same few people log in every day,
they are all retired, so they have a lot of spare time.

the kids aren't coming back, and everyone just keeps on getting
older and older.

one of these four people has been a member there since 1999,
so almost a generation.

he has 3,852 works on file.
basically, he is the only person
still posting on that website.

many of these were written in the 70's, 80's, 90's,
but are posted daily in comic sans font, along with a comment
and the date the poem was originally written. he keeps archives.

i hope he doesn't read the poetry here because i don't want to hurt his feelings.
he has the same birthday as my dad,
so i sort of felt sorry for him when his girlfriend who listed her occupation as "professional clown, potter, and jazz flutist" started ignoring him and left him and the website that he has loved for 18 years.

she has 999 works on file
and all of them are really long and typed in all capital letters. most of them have no paragraph breaks.
it's always impressive to me when someone can write a fairly long poem with no line breaks and still have it keep the reader's attention.
Jul 2017 · 23
overpriced garbage
july hearne Jul 2017
a few months ago i checked the balances
in my various checking and saving accounts
and noticed i had too much cash

since i'm not going to buy overvalued real-estate
in a sellers market
or grossly overvalued stocks in the tech sector
before that bubble pops (i have nothing but deep intense hatred for silicon valley, jeff bezos, and mark zuckerberg)
i decided to spend the surplus on myself

and quit my job

after another unproductive day at work being yelled at by a fat, angry, white, single woman who knew everything.

she appreciated her bluntess.

i didn't bother to give any notice other than an email saying: "i'm resigning effective right now,  thanks for the opportunity, my employee badge is under my keyboard! kthnxbi!"

i wonder if she yelled when she read the email
and if  i should change the title of this poem to
"it's ok you can bring a salad for lunch everyday like i do"
or
"i've been reading "The Art of War" lately and even though it's the comic book version, i'm still going to win this cat fight *****".
Jul 2017 · 1.4k
the intj who knew everything
july hearne Jul 2017
he was forty but lied about his age,
told everyone he looked young for his age,
and still shopped at hot topic

he is in late forties now, still thinks he looks young,
and still shops at hot topic

he buys the same stuff that people were buying
in the 80's before hot topic existed

he describes himself as having such a brilliant mind that he is easily bored with people. he is an intj, so this means that he knows everything. he is very intelligent according to the re-occuring craigslist misc. romance ads he has been posting for the last decade.

when he gets inspired, he updates his fetlife profile
(or his ok cupid profile)

i met him when i was too alone, but not numb enough yet
he kept on telling me that depressed people were really just narcissists who couldn't stop thinking about themselves

i couldn't tolerate him, but had nothing else to do, so i had to be drunk and ****** at all times in his presence and i don't drink very often
prior to that i was only a weekend stoner,
but that changed real quick

he made himself too comfortable
and bought me a bob dobbs book for my birthday
because he thought and still thinks bob dobbs is hilarious

he kept on using my bathroom for long periods of time
and bringing the bob dobbs book in with him every time

i told him he could keep the bob dobbs book
but he said, "no, it's more the kind of book that i want to read when i come over and use your bathroom"
so i swallowed the throw up in my mouth, asked him to leave, threw the book away, and never had anything to do with him after that.

shortly thereafter, he started diagnosing me and every other woman who is not attracted to him as having borderline personality disorder via craigslist missed connections and/or his fetlife profile (which i still read for laughs).

then he broke into my apartment through the back door the night before he got married to a woman who needed a green card. i'm not sure why he did that, i'll never know. he broke the door, so it wouldn't shut properly anymore and i smashed my fingers in it once while trying to shut it. my fingernails fell off.

and this is why i have been celibate for the last 7 and half years.
he is also a vegan who eats cheese, fish, and chicken.

the woman who needed the greencard ended up divorcing him.

i really like the tags feature on this site.
Jul 2017 · 6.6k
open all night
july hearne Jul 2017
devil time
and Pyrex pipe

whatever will you find
so late on a weeknight
that is not found
every other night of every other week

Pyrex pipe
and devil time

margaritas, marijuana,
everything i need
and eye drops in the morning

my favorite gypsy
first cut
early take
quit while you're ahead
but you never do

that hammond *****
really shining something through
my favorite gypsy
don't get too friendly
but you never do

Pyrex pipe
and devil time

i was just a star
i meant for you to name
nothing more than that
you were just the devil
if the devil's name was music
and he still stayed up late
writing songs for everyone
takes all kinds
to give power to the name

Pyrex pipe
and devil time

my favorite gypsy
stays up all night
devil's got a lot of songs to write

that hammond *****
really shining something through
if you could hear it as clearly as i do
but you never do
08/12/2013
my last days
"turn that vocal up just a little bit"
july hearne Jul 2017
i met karl denke once
had *** with him too

i met him on myspace,
he was the jealous type
and i loved it,
totally made me feel pretty

i met him in person
his mom called and asked him
who was over and if it was anyone important
he said no

i overheard the whole thing,
but karl made sure that i heard it
because he told me his mom had asked him if
i was his new girlfriend
and that he had said no.
then karl told me that he didn't owe me anything.

he also told me i was too tall,
he was used to shorter woman
"a lot shorter", he said

then another girl called,
he looked at the caller id
and said, "uh oh, i can't take this call now,
i'll call her back later"

karl didn't show me his city,
he kept me in his tiny apartment
it was a bachelor's he said
his refrigerator was very *****

when i got home
karl dumped me
because i asked him if he missed me

after i asked him that
he said:

"that's it, we're through"

he dumped me online
as i was listening to an mp3 file
he had just sent me via yahoo instant messenger

the song was "American Woman"
by the Guess Who,
a canadian rock band, formed in winnipeg in 1965

karl had planned the whole thing,
probably around the time he saw
my body wasn't built for *******

about a year after karl dumped
my american kardashian sized ***,
we spoke on the phone about all his new girlfriends.
karl told me my writing was too angry.

karl is doing really good these days,
he posts book reviews on goodreads.com
about books that i think are popular fiction
but am not sure, since i have never heard of them
and almost never read popular fiction.
karl doesn't care if you like his reviews or not.

his mom posted a picture of him and his latest girlfriend,
who will maybe soon be his wife if she isn't already.
she is a lot shorter, and probably isn't american
so she is good enough for him.

can't wait until karl hangs himself.
i hope his mom posts a picture of that
on her facebook page.
i'll never forget you karl denke, i want to but i won't.
Jun 2017 · 482
the good samaritan
july hearne Jun 2017
i had taken the morning off from work
to get a botox injection
afterwards i went to starbucks
and bought a venti carmel something

to drink on my walk to work
somewhere inbetween starbucks
and work i noticed a man in a wheelchair
he was stuck

il·leg·i·bly
he was asking for help
illegibly

i had to put my coffee on the ground
to get his wheelchair up and moving again
the wheels ran over my foot
and the coffee got knocked over
and spilled on the ground
he didn't say thank you,
but he was in a wheelchair
and couldn't speak coherently

it hurt
and my toenails
were black for the entire summer

a few months later
i got a job at starbucks corporate
but quit with no notice after six months
because the manager
couldn't stop yelling about white privledge, me, and howard shultz

and i didn't want to turn into her.

her initials were kkk.
july hearne Jun 2017
when Merry Clayton
sings "Southern Man"
i think of all of you
and i think *******

and if i was Neil Young
i would start a band called Hateful Bigot
and Mike Watt would be the bass player
and i would write a song
called "social justice warrior"
(in all lower case)
and dedicate it to all the children that have been ***** by the gay mayor of your tiny house town
and Merry Clayton would sing that song

there is a parade in tiny house town
for everyone who's arrived 50 years too late to the civil rights party
and the  mayor is coming round
to shake your hand

all your tiny houses coming down
all your tiny houses built upon the sand
tiny, tiny houses get smaller and smaller before blowing down

everytime you shake his hand
you have even less to say
about all the children he *****
than the NRA

even less to say than the NRA
everytime the gay mayor rolls down the windows
before he rapes the children in his hot car
everytime he's comes around
to shake your hand
he's got ten dollars in his other hand

tiny, tiny houses blowing down
all your tiny houses built upon the sand
i can't wait til they come down
all your tiny houses coming down
tiny, tiny houses coming down

(nothing to do with the fact
he's a gay democrat
nothing to do with the fact)
ed murray is the gay mayor of seattle. he ***** children and is likely still ****** them. one of them was his foster son. he denies these allegations in the manner of a text book lying child ******. he lied about ever knowing his foster son who he ***** (and who was later then proven to be his foster son). he also had wanted to be a catholic priest but left the seminary (probably got kicked out for child ****).   he was not forced to resign because it is not convenient to ask a gay, democrat mayor to step down, which is why i will always refer to him as the gay mayor who rapes children.  he gets a free pass on ****** children. this poem is dedicated to everyone who turns a blind eye to child **** and excuses it (especially ***** like sally bagshaw), and sadly that includes organizations such as glaad.

ed murray, gay mayor of seattle who rapes children, attended the gay pride parade and shook hands with the parade goers, who were delighted to shake the hand of a child ******. only it's not ****, since he is a gay democrat who gave the children $10 to **** them.

seattle has become unaffordable because of amazon, high levels of taxation (by a city cuntcil who supports a child ****** as mayor and the child ****** mayor himself), a housing shortage (caused by amazon and citizens of china who make money on slave labor and then make inflated all cash offers on the real estate here so the people who actually live here can't afford it).

something tells me this one won't go over well, but that's ok with me, since people who turn a blind eye to child **** are the **** of the earth. my next poem will be about what a **** sally bagshaw is. she loves our gay mayor who has done nothing but lie, flounder around like an idiot, allow amazon and comcast to **** us over, steal money, waste money, increase homelessness and **** children. ed murray also loves sharia law, since it conveniently has no laws against ****** children.

the NRA had better make some sort of public statement of support for philando castile and his family and  should have already done so. that man and his family were not shown any justice and neither were the children that ed murray *****, not to mention the children he is still ******.

we live in ******* times and the ones screaming the loudest are the ones who need to shut the **** up the most.


from ed murray's twitter page:

Ed Murray‏Verified account @MayorEdMurray  May 19

It's finally warming up, which is great - but not for all. Beware of the danger pets and children face in hot cars!
july hearne Jun 2017
just about a year ago
you were unpacking my delusional suitcase

it was a carry-on

i had thought
i had just gotten back from hollywood
i had just come back to something good

i dreamt you were unpacking my delusional suitcase
i had thought you were saying:

"come to, un-be-comely
come to my loneliness
you'll get hired

come along to my loneliness
come around to my loneliness

you'll talk too much and
you'll get nowhere"

just about a year ago
i had thought i had come back
to something good

it was a carry-on
it didn't last long
instant coffee
INFP
Sixto Rodriguez
knows i'm lonely

he knows i'm lonely
Jun 2017 · 2.7k
"the future's open wide"
july hearne Jun 2017
i met him in 1989 in a study hall class
and haven't forgotten him since.

a month ago,
i found out he had died in 2014.

the girls liked him
he'de tell me what was playing on his walkman
so i listened, learned, put a penny in an envelope
and mailed it off to columbia house

some weeks later i received my 12 cassette tapes.

i quit eating and got creative with eyeliner.
i memorized a lot of cure lyrics and went to study hall
prepared.

the semester ended and we weren't in the same
study hall class anymore. he ended up transferring to another school.

but i still had hope.
i had memorized so many lyrics.
i had gotten my hair cut into an inverted bob
and learned how to dye it black.

it felt like anything was possible
and it felt so good.

the next year
i transfered to the other school, but he wasn't there anymore.

the year after that
i transfered to an even worse school
he was there

finally.

soon after that,
emily became his girlfriend

one day, i ran into them at the park and ride
as i was getting off the bus

we spent the night on the sidewalk
outside of emily's dad's house.
none of us were allowed to go inside,
not even emily.

but emily managed to sneak inside
and stole a jug of homemade alcohol,
which we did not call moonshine.

emily fell asleep with her head in his lap
while we talked, smoked three packs of cigarettes (all mine), and drank the homemade alcohol that her dad had made.

emily wanted to be a fashion designer.
he really believed in emily and her drawings.

the sun came up

and i caught a bus home.

we both ended up
dropping out of highschool.
Jun 2017 · 752
"when the man comes around"
july hearne Jun 2017
names for no one
named by no one

poems about nothing
poems about everything

aren't they the same thing?

no function, no form
but now is the hour
it's how i get through
to the next one

two packs of cigarettes a day
it is getting expensive

old heartaches aren't forgotten
when nothing takes there place
and cigarettes don't pay the rent
freeform makes people stop listening
agoraphobics don't have much to write about
but need to say something
to someone

i wish i'de never met you.
all you did was hurt me in a way
that keeps on coming back, no matter how much times go by.
it was the way you looked at me,
like i was the ugliest thing that you had ever ******
and it made you feel good to let me know.
and it got worse from there, because you threw me away
and then would sporadically write to let me know
you were gone for good.
you were a total ramsay bolton type.
some days i have a memory and can't breathe or function.
i still have nightmares of you

trying to beat me to death, calling me to list off all the things that are wrong with me.

if i can't forget you, it would be great if someone would cut off your ****. sometimes i fantasize about hiring someone to do that to you in your sleep. you could wake up dickless and i could be free of you. but back to the poem:

10 and a half years haven't gotten me anywhere
i've been too old for too long

Bob Dylan
Neil Young
Rolling Stones
Leonard Cohen
Paul Westerberg

everyone is too good for them now,
especially you,
i read that in vice

they made a list of the worst musicians of all time
and all those names were on it.

Johnny Cash was on the list too.
i'm assuming everyone knows the title isn't mine
Jun 2017 · 621
pride
july hearne Jun 2017
west london fire stories
stories i can't finish
you are in this story

what's the problem called
when the sun is coming up
and you've been awake all night because
ugly sleep sleeps all day,
and the groom's ******* are
too large for his beard

someone said no to reality
someone put the greed in poverty
but what can i say, what can i say
forgot who i was long ago
don't like who i am today

my back was turned
when the rainproof cladding of grenfell tower fell
while the london fire burned

cheap, chinese, and rainproof
that's how
the rainproof cladding of grenfell tower fell
penny wise and pound foolish
Jun 2017 · 366
elements of style
july hearne Jun 2017
sixto rodriguez
isn't good enough for you

her faded name makes do
she has an inner wrist tattoo

someone said,
"there are a lot of uncreative people out there who have a need to express themselves"

how true
how true
Jun 2017 · 2.2k
west london fire stories
july hearne Jun 2017
west london fire stories
burning up the day,
london fires burning down and out
before they burn away

daily all day robes
and a story i can't finish
i won't make it out, there's too much
i don't want to say

so late in the day
wasting life away
unheard singing
should probably count for something
maybe today, maybe today, maybe today
so late in the day

instant coffee,
INFP, unfinished story
cheap chinese burning debris
blazing away on the bbc
so late in the day, so late in the day, so late in the day
& the day becomes another day

must be so nice to be you
always voting for justin trudeau
all your better things to do,
all the better looking women you were born to pursue

london fires burn down and out
before they burn away
& the day becomes another day
maybe today, maybe today, maybe today
the cheap chinese cladding was rain proof,
even as it fell from as far up as the 24th floor

If only the cladding hadn’t been so flammable
or if the alarms would have worked
or if they hadn’t been told to stay put and die

then some other people donated their old clothes
that they didn’t want anymore
a lot of old used clothes that people had been meaning to get rid of
were donated

i read somewhere that it was supposedly environmentally friendly
eco-friendly, but toxic and flammable

but the fire was renewable energy
or unrenewable energy
depending on how you look at it

either way, the eco-friendly plastic cladding was rainproof.














& all the reasons i hate you
are sadly the reasons i still think thoughts of you
now these thoughts have turned into
thoughts of you
still too cool for Sixto Rodriguez
still editing "The Elements of Style"
still thinking thoughts of me
so past my prime
so past the time
of our short while
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