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Jul 2017 · 1.7k
the intj who knew everything
july hearne Jul 2017
he was forty but lied about his age,
told everyone he looked young for his age,
and still shopped at hot topic

he is in late forties now, still thinks he looks young,
and still shops at hot topic

he buys the same stuff that people were buying
in the 80's before hot topic existed

he describes himself as having such a brilliant mind that he is easily bored with people. he is an intj, so this means that he knows everything. he is very intelligent according to the re-occuring craigslist misc. romance ads he has been posting for the last decade.

when he gets inspired, he updates his fetlife profile
(or his ok cupid profile)

i met him when i was too alone, but not numb enough yet
he kept on telling me that depressed people were really just narcissists who couldn't stop thinking about themselves

i couldn't tolerate him, but had nothing else to do, so i had to be drunk and ****** at all times in his presence and i don't drink very often
prior to that i was only a weekend stoner,
but that changed real quick

he made himself too comfortable
and bought me a bob dobbs book for my birthday
because he thought and still thinks bob dobbs is hilarious

he kept on using my bathroom for long periods of time
and bringing the bob dobbs book in with him every time

i told him he could keep the bob dobbs book
but he said, "no, it's more the kind of book that i want to read when i come over and use your bathroom"
so i swallowed the throw up in my mouth, asked him to leave, threw the book away, and never had anything to do with him after that.

shortly thereafter, he started diagnosing me and every other woman who is not attracted to him as having borderline personality disorder via craigslist missed connections and/or his fetlife profile (which i still read for laughs).

then he broke into my apartment through the back door the night before he got married to a woman who needed a green card. i'm not sure why he did that, i'll never know. he broke the door, so it wouldn't shut properly anymore and i smashed my fingers in it once while trying to shut it. my fingernails fell off.

and this is why i have been celibate for the last 7 and half years.
he is also a vegan who eats cheese, fish, and chicken.

the woman who needed the greencard ended up divorcing him.

i really like the tags feature on this site.
Jul 2017 · 6.8k
open all night
july hearne Jul 2017
devil time
and Pyrex pipe

whatever will you find
so late on a weeknight
that is not found
every other night of every other week

Pyrex pipe
and devil time

margaritas, marijuana,
everything i need
and eye drops in the morning

my favorite gypsy
first cut
early take
quit while you're ahead
but you never do

that hammond *****
really shining something through
my favorite gypsy
don't get too friendly
but you never do

Pyrex pipe
and devil time

i was just a star
i meant for you to name
nothing more than that
you were just the devil
if the devil's name was music
and he still stayed up late
writing songs for everyone
takes all kinds
to give power to the name

Pyrex pipe
and devil time

my favorite gypsy
stays up all night
devil's got a lot of songs to write

that hammond *****
really shining something through
if you could hear it as clearly as i do
but you never do
08/12/2013
my last days
"turn that vocal up just a little bit"
july hearne Jul 2017
i met karl denke once
had *** with him too

i met him on myspace,
he was the jealous type
and i loved it,
totally made me feel pretty

i met him in person
his mom called and asked him
who was over and if it was anyone important
he said no

i overheard the whole thing,
but karl made sure that i heard it
because he told me his mom had asked him if
i was his new girlfriend
and that he had said no.
then karl told me that he didn't owe me anything.

he also told me i was too tall,
he was used to shorter woman
"a lot shorter", he said

then another girl called,
he looked at the caller id
and said, "uh oh, i can't take this call now,
i'll call her back later"

karl didn't show me his city,
he kept me in his tiny apartment
it was a bachelor's he said
his refrigerator was very *****

when i got home
karl dumped me
because i asked him if he missed me

after i asked him that
he said:

"that's it, we're through"

he dumped me online
as i was listening to an mp3 file
he had just sent me via yahoo instant messenger

the song was "American Woman"
by the Guess Who,
a canadian rock band, formed in winnipeg in 1965

karl had planned the whole thing,
probably around the time he saw
my body wasn't built for *******

about a year after karl dumped
my american kardashian sized ***,
we spoke on the phone about all his new girlfriends.
karl told me my writing was too angry.

karl is doing really good these days,
he posts book reviews on goodreads.com
about books that i think are popular fiction
but am not sure, since i have never heard of them
and almost never read popular fiction.
karl doesn't care if you like his reviews or not.

his mom posted a picture of him and his latest girlfriend,
who will maybe soon be his wife if she isn't already.
she is a lot shorter, and probably isn't american
so she is good enough for him.

can't wait until karl hangs himself.
i hope his mom posts a picture of that
on her facebook page.
i'll never forget you karl denke, i want to but i won't.
Jun 2017 · 561
the good samaritan
july hearne Jun 2017
i had taken the morning off from work
to get a botox injection
afterwards i went to starbucks
and bought a venti carmel something

to drink on my walk to work
somewhere inbetween starbucks
and work i noticed a man in a wheelchair
he was stuck

il·leg·i·bly
he was asking for help
illegibly

i had to put my coffee on the ground
to get his wheelchair up and moving again
the wheels ran over my foot
and the coffee got knocked over
and spilled on the ground
he didn't say thank you,
but he was in a wheelchair
and couldn't speak coherently

it hurt
and my toenails
were black for the entire summer

a few months later
i got a job at starbucks corporate
but quit with no notice after six months
because the manager
couldn't stop yelling about white privledge, me, and howard shultz

and i didn't want to turn into her.

her initials were kkk.
july hearne Jun 2017
when Merry Clayton
sings "Southern Man"
i think of all of you
and i think *******

and if i was Neil Young
i would start a band called Hateful Bigot
and Mike Watt would be the bass player
and i would write a song
called "social justice warrior"
(in all lower case)
and dedicate it to all the children that have been ***** by the gay mayor of your tiny house town
and Merry Clayton would sing that song

there is a parade in tiny house town
for everyone who's arrived 50 years too late to the civil rights party
and the  mayor is coming round
to shake your hand

all your tiny houses coming down
all your tiny houses built upon the sand
tiny, tiny houses get smaller and smaller before blowing down

everytime you shake his hand
you have even less to say
about all the children he *****
than the NRA

even less to say than the NRA
everytime the gay mayor rolls down the windows
before he rapes the children in his hot car
everytime he's comes around
to shake your hand
he's got ten dollars in his other hand

tiny, tiny houses blowing down
all your tiny houses built upon the sand
i can't wait til they come down
all your tiny houses coming down
tiny, tiny houses coming down

(nothing to do with the fact
he's a gay democrat
nothing to do with the fact)
ed murray is the gay mayor of seattle. he ***** children and is likely still ****** them. one of them was his foster son. he denies these allegations in the manner of a text book lying child ******. he lied about ever knowing his foster son who he ***** (and who was later then proven to be his foster son). he also had wanted to be a catholic priest but left the seminary (probably got kicked out for child ****).   he was not forced to resign because it is not convenient to ask a gay, democrat mayor to step down, which is why i will always refer to him as the gay mayor who rapes children.  he gets a free pass on ****** children. this poem is dedicated to everyone who turns a blind eye to child **** and excuses it (especially ***** like sally bagshaw), and sadly that includes organizations such as glaad.

ed murray, gay mayor of seattle who rapes children, attended the gay pride parade and shook hands with the parade goers, who were delighted to shake the hand of a child ******. only it's not ****, since he is a gay democrat who gave the children $10 to **** them.

seattle has become unaffordable because of amazon, high levels of taxation (by a city cuntcil who supports a child ****** as mayor and the child ****** mayor himself), a housing shortage (caused by amazon and citizens of china who make money on slave labor and then make inflated all cash offers on the real estate here so the people who actually live here can't afford it).

something tells me this one won't go over well, but that's ok with me, since people who turn a blind eye to child **** are the **** of the earth. my next poem will be about what a **** sally bagshaw is. she loves our gay mayor who has done nothing but lie, flounder around like an idiot, allow amazon and comcast to **** us over, steal money, waste money, increase homelessness and **** children. ed murray also loves sharia law, since it conveniently has no laws against ****** children.

the NRA had better make some sort of public statement of support for philando castile and his family and  should have already done so. that man and his family were not shown any justice and neither were the children that ed murray *****, not to mention the children he is still ******.

we live in ******* times and the ones screaming the loudest are the ones who need to shut the **** up the most.


from ed murray's twitter page:

Ed Murray‏Verified account @MayorEdMurray  May 19

It's finally warming up, which is great - but not for all. Beware of the danger pets and children face in hot cars!
july hearne Jun 2017
just about a year ago
you were unpacking my delusional suitcase

it was a carry-on

i had thought
i had just gotten back from hollywood
i had just come back to something good

i dreamt you were unpacking my delusional suitcase
i had thought you were saying:

"come to, un-be-comely
come to my loneliness
you'll get hired

come along to my loneliness
come around to my loneliness

you'll talk too much and
you'll get nowhere"

just about a year ago
i had thought i had come back
to something good

it was a carry-on
it didn't last long
instant coffee
INFP
Sixto Rodriguez
knows i'm lonely

he knows i'm lonely
Jun 2017 · 2.9k
"the future's open wide"
july hearne Jun 2017
i met him in 1989 in a study hall class
and haven't forgotten him since.

a month ago,
i found out he had died in 2014.

the girls liked him
he'de tell me what was playing on his walkman
so i listened, learned, put a penny in an envelope
and mailed it off to columbia house

some weeks later i received my 12 cassette tapes.

i quit eating and got creative with eyeliner.
i memorized a lot of cure lyrics and went to study hall
prepared.

the semester ended and we weren't in the same
study hall class anymore. he ended up transferring to another school.

but i still had hope.
i had memorized so many lyrics.
i had gotten my hair cut into an inverted bob
and learned how to dye it black.

it felt like anything was possible
and it felt so good.

the next year
i transfered to the other school, but he wasn't there anymore.

the year after that
i transfered to an even worse school
he was there

finally.

soon after that,
emily became his girlfriend

one day, i ran into them at the park and ride
as i was getting off the bus

we spent the night on the sidewalk
outside of emily's dad's house.
none of us were allowed to go inside,
not even emily.

but emily managed to sneak inside
and stole a jug of homemade alcohol,
which we did not call moonshine.

emily fell asleep with her head in his lap
while we talked, smoked three packs of cigarettes (all mine), and drank the homemade alcohol that her dad had made.

emily wanted to be a fashion designer.
he really believed in emily and her drawings.

the sun came up

and i caught a bus home.

we both ended up
dropping out of highschool.
Jun 2017 · 920
"when the man comes around"
july hearne Jun 2017
names for no one
named by no one

poems about nothing
poems about everything

aren't they the same thing?

no function, no form
but now is the hour
it's how i get through
to the next one

two packs of cigarettes a day
it is getting expensive

old heartaches aren't forgotten
when nothing takes there place
and cigarettes don't pay the rent
freeform makes people stop listening
agoraphobics don't have much to write about
but need to say something
to someone

i wish i'de never met you.
all you did was hurt me in a way
that keeps on coming back, no matter how much times go by.
it was the way you looked at me,
like i was the ugliest thing that you had ever ******
and it made you feel good to let me know.
and it got worse from there, because you threw me away
and then would sporadically write to let me know
you were gone for good.
you were a total ramsay bolton type.
some days i have a memory and can't breathe or function.
i still have nightmares of you

trying to beat me to death, calling me to list off all the things that are wrong with me.

if i can't forget you, it would be great if someone would cut off your ****. sometimes i fantasize about hiring someone to do that to you in your sleep. you could wake up dickless and i could be free of you. but back to the poem:

10 and a half years haven't gotten me anywhere
i've been too old for too long

Bob Dylan
Neil Young
Rolling Stones
Leonard Cohen
Paul Westerberg

everyone is too good for them now,
especially you,
i read that in vice

they made a list of the worst musicians of all time
and all those names were on it.

Johnny Cash was on the list too.
i'm assuming everyone knows the title isn't mine
Jun 2017 · 710
pride
july hearne Jun 2017
west london fire stories
stories i can't finish
you are in this story

what's the problem called
when the sun is coming up
and you've been awake all night because
ugly sleep sleeps all day,
and the groom's ******* are
too large for his beard

someone said no to reality
someone put the greed in poverty
but what can i say, what can i say
forgot who i was long ago
don't like who i am today

my back was turned
when the rainproof cladding of grenfell tower fell
while the london fire burned

cheap, chinese, and rainproof
that's how
the rainproof cladding of grenfell tower fell
penny wise and pound foolish
Jun 2017 · 425
elements of style
july hearne Jun 2017
sixto rodriguez
isn't good enough for you

her faded name makes do
she has an inner wrist tattoo

someone said,
"there are a lot of uncreative people out there who have a need to express themselves"

how true
how true
Jun 2017 · 2.4k
west london fire stories
july hearne Jun 2017
west london fire stories
burning up the day,
london fires burning down and out
before they burn away

daily all day robes
and a story i can't finish
i won't make it out, there's too much
i don't want to say

so late in the day
wasting life away
unheard singing
should probably count for something
maybe today, maybe today, maybe today
so late in the day

instant coffee,
INFP, unfinished story
cheap chinese burning debris
blazing away on the bbc
so late in the day, so late in the day, so late in the day
& the day becomes another day

must be so nice to be you
always voting for justin trudeau
all your better things to do,
all the better looking women you were born to pursue

london fires burn down and out
before they burn away
& the day becomes another day
maybe today, maybe today, maybe today
the cheap chinese cladding was rain proof,
even as it fell from as far up as the 24th floor

If only the cladding hadn’t been so flammable
or if the alarms would have worked
or if they hadn’t been told to stay put and die

then some other people donated their old clothes
that they didn’t want anymore
a lot of old used clothes that people had been meaning to get rid of
were donated

i read somewhere that it was supposedly environmentally friendly
eco-friendly, but toxic and flammable

but the fire was renewable energy
or unrenewable energy
depending on how you look at it

either way, the eco-friendly plastic cladding was rainproof.














& all the reasons i hate you
are sadly the reasons i still think thoughts of you
now these thoughts have turned into
thoughts of you
still too cool for Sixto Rodriguez
still editing "The Elements of Style"
still thinking thoughts of me
so past my prime
so past the time
of our short while
Jun 2017 · 576
all-cash chinese buyers
july hearne Jun 2017
i planned for the worst
and got priced out and let down
when it didn't happen

i waited for david stockman's predictions
to come true
i don't get turned on by doom ****
but it's my only chance at buying low and selling high

real estate prices keep on rising

the smiling all-cash chinese buyers at the open house
pointed their fingers at the water view of puget sound,
said something in chinese,
then laughed

it was sunny out that day, so the water was brightly lit
giving off the impression it would always be like that
or would always end up returning to that

the approximate time frame for the upcoming financial crisis always gets pushed back
so i'm still waiting
May 2017 · 1.0k
goodreads
july hearne May 2017
celine wrote some thick books
'Death On The Installment Plan'
'Journey To The End Of Night'
my plan was to read them but i never did

i got as far as the titles
then got stuck

they've been packed away in boxes
for the past 5 years,
i had no need to unpack them

maybe if they had been  thinner

what can i do
what can i do
i just don't want to
i just don't want to

everyday i feel so unheld
together

life after life
maybe there will be a part two, a part three, and so on
May 2017 · 738
his mom's facebook page
july hearne May 2017
it was almost two months ago
my new job was going terribly

i had two managers
one was either a compulsive liar or losing her memory
to dementia or early alzheimers
the other one was a typical single, white, overweight woman
who enjoyed flying into fits of rage and preaching about white privilege
when she wasn’t giving angry lectures about how howard schulz’s wife
had nannies to help her raise her children

she didn’t like me
so i just quit, with no notice other than an email
saying i was resigning effective the time stamp of that email

two weeks before i quit, i had the saddest dream
about some guy i had a mental breakdown over ten years ago
i haven’t talked to him since some sad
emails in 2010, he never responded to my last email
i’de been looking him up online lately but retrieving no matches
because his name is so common and it’s been so long

in my dream he texted me or emailed me
magically, he had gotten my phone number
or one of the email addresses i use now
he wrote that he would be in my town
and asked if we could meet

i was really looking forward to it in the dream
i was getting ready, hair, make-up, clothes
i realized my dress had a ketchup stain on it
towards the end of that part of the dream

i don’t think my hair or makeup or face or body looked good
i looked like i look
ten years older and haven’t kept up or maintained anything
not that i looked good ten years ago, but i look a lot worse now
i sort of realized that when i saw the ketchup stain

then it occured to me that he never responded when
i either emailed or texted him back:
“yes, yes, let’s meet again”
there i was, excited, getting ready,
vacuuming a car I haven’t driven in years
i just wanted everything i wanted back

i thought we were going to meet that weekend
but then he emailed me saying
no, he wouldn’t be in town until the 22nd

march 22nd was on a wednesday this year
so i would have just been working late
and getting a bad review for anything i did

i quit my job on tuesday, march 21st, after a hard day of doing nothing
since then, i’ve drank a lot of wine, gotten ******, and smoked cigarettes.

i also found his mom’s facebook page
and his.

his is set to mostly private, but his mom had posted
some recent pictures of him and his girlfriend

he looked weak and unhappy in the eyes.
july hearne Nov 2016
as in no way in
as in no way out
i've gone missing on the inside

don't think first glimmer is going to meet me in the morning
it's not something to count on when it rains this hard
and sad ladies look through missed windows
and you're one of all the good things
walking past

i'de like to be going wherever it is you are going
any of those times you are walking past
harder advice coming in my misdirection
too much wine Sunday
hangover Monday
fired by Friday
day won't come for a day like love

don't knock now,
there's nobody here by your name
waited too long for just in time
but it was just a time that never came

don't think first glimmer's going to meet me in the morning,
don't even think i could shoulder the dove
so much for love, love, love
a day like love
july hearne Jul 2016
i.



seller names the price
your backyard full of kids
whose moms got them their jobs at  amazon

hello future
in my backyard
i worked hard
so i wouldn't be able to afford
what i had when i thought i had nothing

time hasn't caught up with the kids yet,
it's going to be a long time
i pay for that, try to save money, but pay
for the kids
in the back yard


ii.

i can change
i can change
i can change

you can't change
you can't change
you can't change

you loved her
you hate her
you have a big problem

who looks too much like you
you look too much like you too

looking like a man your age
with a fetlife profile

you loved her
you hate her
she was ungrateful for your love
selfish not to want your love
didn't have the common decency not to love
who she did love
he wasn't you,

i am grateful to be without your love
july hearne May 2016
joyce smokes cigarettes
she pays  around $8.50 a pack
but never has any money for food
after being poor, then still poor,
then poor again

love in the inbetween
dead to poor again
that's the order,

in this instance
there is no food in the house
just a trailer in her backyard
too close to a far away place
where her granddaughter does not feel safe
i can change i can change i can change i can change i can change i can change i can change i can change i can change i can change i can change i can change i can change
july hearne Apr 2016
before i left seattle, and long before i made the mistake of returning,
i was babysitting a fish in a fishbowl,
for my brother's kids.

the water in the bowl was cloudy,
unclear, *****, because of the fish
so of course the fish died,
the bowl just sat on the counter after the fish died
but before my brother's kids came back from california

anyhow, moving back here was a mistake.
the cost of living here is ridiculous,
there is no room to be a middle class person here

only  a little kid who works at amazon
whose mom found him his job.

these little kids work for amazon,
their moms type out cover letters and resumes
so their kids can get jobs at amazon

i am looking for a new job because i can't afford to keep the job i have now,

the little kids who work for amazon have it pretty good though,
they can bring their dogs to work with them
they can jack up the rents, no problem

mom is always looking out for them like that

tonight i applied for a job at amazon
i typed in my first name to submit my application
"jeffbezosisacunt", i wrote a quick cover letter
telling them i was qualified for the job because
my mom didn't have to type out my cover letters for me
and because i had a dog that hadn't been trained yet
that i could take to work with me, then i attached a pdf file of a quick reference guide for aol 9.0 as my resume

it felt good
but not for long and not good enough

mark zuckerberg makes me sick too,
i can just see him running for president one day,
needing a good slapping
the little **** has never known any form of adversity
so he just keeps on being a little ****,
he has a lot in common with kim jong un

when i first moved back here, there were all these orange and white umbrellas every morning. those orange and white umbrellas had already taken over.
july hearne Feb 2016
everything since marijuana,
everything since you
everything ever since common sense


left my heart in north korea
i hear things
when i

roll around in glass
just no better to place to go
than hot demeaning insanity

there is this
drug with no pretty on the inside
and no better place to go
july hearne Aug 2015
today in the grocery store
i saw two men,
at least in their late fifties,
maybe in their sixties,
i couldn't tell, they just looked sort of old to me

at least one of them was wearing a fidel castro hat
the one with the fidel castro hat was also wearing these
patchwork pants of many different colored patches that looked like hippie pants
the other one was wearing a long peasant skirt, with as many different colors
as the patchwork hippie pants
the one in the skirt was wearing some sort of teva like sandals

i saw them again as i was walking home from the grocery store

you could tell by looking they still thought the sixties cultural revolution was still important
and they were still doing something important
and that they were still important
because they lived through the important sixties cultural revolution
and made all magic happen in their hilarious patchwork pants and peasant skirts of many bright colors
on my way home i saw them walkling somewhere
i didn't follow them so i can't say where

i read that lonely people look forward to grocery shopping

a few months earlier in that same grocery store
i saw this really old man  who was looking up at the cans in the aisle with the cans
there was a bag in his cart, in the bag some sort of depends like under garment

i looked at that and just thought
oh man, this is not good
his hair was very white
he was wearing some sort of clog
to indicate that he too
had done his part to bring about very important social change
despite the bag  not being discrete enough for the contents

11 years earlier in the same kind of grocery store
a few blocks down
another old man with a white pony tail
and a crocheted hat or beret
starting talking to me about debbie harry
i was wearing a blondie tshirt that was way too tight

he wanted to talk about that shirt
he told me he had lived in san francisco sometime ago
or something like that
maybe he said something about cbgbs and inciting
social change or haight ashbury and the glorious cultural revolution
of the sixities

and how he had been there for all of it
i told him that we couldn't be friends with everyone all the time

he got mad when i said that
this was in the produce section
i walked away as he was putting something round into a plastic bag

that guy is probably dead now

i thought i moved on from all that
but i found something i really loved
and let it ruin my life
so i came back to all that
i just pay a lot more for it now
Jul 2015 · 849
just the other day
july hearne Jul 2015
my cashier  was paula
when i was checking out at the grocery store
a few saturdays ago

paula asked me how my day was going,
which was night by then
i asked paula how hers was going

soon paula brought up the hot weather
and how she liked it, but the only time she went outside
was to go on a smokebreak

her doctor put her on vitamin d suppliments
because she hadn't gotten enough vitamin d
or sun

because everytime she went out on her smoke break
she was wearing her black sun visor and her black half zip
and her black pants
always covered up

paula also told me she didn't drink enough water
her doctor had told her she had to drink 16 ounces
of water for every cup of coffee she drank
because coffee dries you out
Jul 2015 · 1.2k
Kim Jong Unpopular
july hearne Jul 2015
Finally got my second chance,

The other night or other day
I  had a dream I sent this man I work
with an email, I think from my personal email address,

Revealing something I can't remember now
that was too personal in nature.
As soon as I sent it, I realized it
was the end of the world. I knew I couldn't unsend it

so I braced myself and told myself so what.

Then I woke up and was relieved this was just a dream,
this whole thing that never happened, just one less thing
to worry about.

But it felt like so close of a call.

That was last week or something,
Today I work, I go on too loudly,
He can always overhear me.

Sometimes I pass him in the hallways,
I look the other way.

Maybe it wasn't a second chance at all,
Just a retelling of what really does happen,
every day, every day.

— The End —