My guilt is starved, and it's begun eating me alive,
A hunger gnawing at the space where my secrets hide.
The sick feeling in my empty stomach grows with time,
As silence weaves its web, and truth begins to die.
The distractions aren’t distracting, they only serve to stall,
But every quiet moment, I feel my conscience crawl.
No peace comes from avoidance, no comfort from a lie,
My guilt is unsatisfied, it craves more than I supply.
It chews through the walls I built, breaks through my disguise,
Exposing every crack where I once thought I'd thrive.
No sleep can soothe its hunger, no rest can clear my mind,
My guilt keeps feasting on the truths I cannot find.
It consumes my every thought, relentless in its quest,
Devouring the parts of me I buried with the rest.
The shadows of my actions cling tighter to my side,
My guilt remains unsatisfied, still eating me alive
My guilt is starved, relentless in its need to thrive,
An insatiable beast, gnawing deeper where I hide.
Each step I take is heavier, weighed down by silent cries,
My shame a constant echo, deafening but shy.
It drips like venom in my veins, it festers in my chest,
A parasite that feeds on every word I leave suppressed.
No matter what I try to give, it’s never satisfied,
My guilt continues gnawing, stripping pieces from my pride.
I try to scream, but nothing comes, the silence swallows whole,
And in the quiet, it devours the fragments of my soul.
Every truth left untold becomes a bitter lie,
My guilt feasts on the broken things I’m too afraid to try.
No corner left untouched, no memory left unscathed,
It rips apart the moments where I thought I had escaped.
I watch as it devours what’s left of peace inside,
My guilt, forever ravenous, keeps eating me alive.

I entrusted my joy in your core,
It fit so perfect, but you wanted more.
I gave you my laughter, my light, and my glee,
Yet you turned away, too full of **** to see.
Now I stand alone, in the wreckage of bliss,
Longing for moments I’ve learned to miss.
You took my happiness, wrapped it in lies,
And left me to gather the tears from my eyes.
In the ruins of trust, I gather my pain,
Each tear that I shed feels like falling rain.
So I reclaim my sanity, my morals, my dreams,
No longer entrusting my heart to your schemes.
I’ll rise from the ashes of what you destroyed,
And learn to embrace the strength I’ve employed.
With each passing day, I’ll gather my might,
And learn to find joy in the stillness of night.
I’ll rebuild the pieces, reclaim my own ground,
In the silence of leaving, my strength can be found.
And in the wreckage, I’ll rise from the dark,
No longer defined by your once glowing spark.
I’ll carve out my joy, piece by piece,
And from the ashes, I’ll find my release.
I’ll dance in the shadows, I’ll laugh through the pain,
For I am the master of my own refrain.
I’ll rise like the phoenix from flames of regret,
Embracing my freedom, I’ll never forget.
The lessons I learned from the love that went wrong,
Will echo in me, a resilient song.
So here's to my heart, still beating, still brave,
In the depths of despair, I found how to save.
Each moment that passes, I’ll gather my scars,
For they’re part of my journey, my own guiding stars.

The world is round but its edges are sharp,
Love and hate weaving light in the dark.
We rise through the pain, we bend but don't break,
For joy only blooms from the storms we must take.
The warmth of the sun, after shadows have passed,
Reminds us that nothing is meant here to last.
The tears that we shed, the scars that we bear,
Are proof of the strength that was always there.
In darkness, we find the flicker of light,
The stars shine the brightest against the night.
Happiness whispers from sorrow’s refrain,
For only through loss do we treasure the gain.
The duality dances, a balance so fine,
We stumble through heartache but still realign.
In love, there is fear, but also release,
In hate, there’s a lesson that leads us to peace.
So we hold to both—both the light and the shade,
Knowing through contrast, the beauty is made.
For without the rain, the sun has no worth,
And through every ending, there's always rebirth.
The world is round but its edges are clear,
We learn through each joy, we grow through each tear.
The fire of anger, the calm after rain,
Are threads in the fabric that ease every pain.
For how could we know the beauty of day,
If night never came to lead us away?
And how would we cherish the touch of a hand,
If we never felt what it’s like to withstand?
In breaking, we’re mended, in silence we hear,
That love isn’t perfect, but always sincere.
Through loss, we find value, through grief, we find grace,
And even in absence, there’s warmth we embrace.
The sharpest of edges carve wisdom inside,
A mirror reflecting the tears we once cried.
But we learn to dance with the cuts and the scars,
For they make us shine brighter than all of the stars.
The duality breathes, like the ocean’s soft tide,
Pulling us under, then setting us wide.
In moments of darkness, we learn how to glow,
And love shows its depth through the pain we let go.
So we stand at the edges, unafraid to fall,
For in falling, we rise—taller than all.
Both shadow and light are part of our story,
Each step through the dark brings us closer to glory.

My guilt is starved and it’s begun eating me alive
This sick feeling in my empty stomach is the lack of truth I can confide
The distractions aren’t distracting from the thoughts inside my mind
My guilt is unsatisfied and it continues eating me alive

Death came knocking in the middle of the night
He asked you to join him, death was calm and polite
He had watched you for a while, smiled as you said goodbyes
Death understood the pain and the love behind our cries
He was gentle when he took your hand and led you to the light
Death gave you a shoulder to rest on and he hugged you tight
Death was warm and inviting, he had a familiar face
He opened a door for you that led to an unknown place
Death stayed with you until long after you were gone
He still lets you come and visit in the dusk and in the dawn

I love him
For five days out of a fortnight
Sometimes less
We spend more time talking
About how much we miss each other
Than we do making up for the lost time
Our five days every fortnight
Are split between his family and friends
And my work
So we end up with weekends
I love him for two days out of a fortnight
And I miss him for 261 days a year
We spend time more time fighting
About how to spend our time
Than we do spending it together
Our bank accounts are more connected
Than sometimes it feels like we are
I get to love him two days out of a fortnight
The same amount of time spent on that plane
Sitting next to strangers
Working for those two days just the same
I love him for one third of the year
The rest I deal with the pain
Patiently waiting for him to come home
And say that was my last day

I love you so much

I wish that I could give you this eternity

That we could have a little old black cat

Who we were convinced was a witch

I wish we could grow with her

Sharing all our hearts between us three

And I wish we could cry together as her time came

And plant flowers over her grave

And mourn and feel and fall on each other

Like leaves on the ground

I wish we could spend our eternity

Laughing to lull us into sleep

In our old bed that you’ll complain hurts your back

But that we never change

Despite the creaks and the way it feels

Like it might break under us

Because it never does

I’d spend my eternity running early

And you a little bit late

And we’d meet somewhere in the middle

I’ll always ask you to turn your music down

Your response will be to dance when I do

I won’t be able to help but laugh and join you

We’ll have an eternity of loud music and silly dances

I’ll eventually put up with the way you play your music

Because you put up with my bad singing

And we will be the most annoying people in love

In the nursing home

I wish I could give you my eternity

I know we’d be so incredibly happy

But my eternity is ending early

And yours is running late

So you’ll have to bury our little witch alone

And plant the flowers on your own

But know, I love you so

The blood between my legs

Had you salivating

Like you hadn’t eaten in years

And I was a scotch fillet steak

Cooked medium rare

Seasoned well with salt, pepper and fear

Your favourite dish

Served with a side of underage and innocent

Drizzled with balsamic *******

The kind of meal that forces silence

In a room full of people

Fresh blood dripping on your lips with

Eat bite that you took

A sign of a good piece of meat

A sign of it being well cooked

When you finished you didn’t wipe

The grease across your face

You worn it with pride like it was war paint

I watched myself die
Played it over and over
Scanned it for all the little details
How did this happen
When did this happen
Why did this happen
I saw myself fall away
Saw the parts of me I loved, leave
And the parts of me I hated, grow
I became super human
Able to shape-shift
I could break, shatter and crumble
And still come back together
You couldn’t see the cracks
But it took all of my efforts
To keep from falling apart again
I wept through the seams I sewed
And said it was sweat and maybe it was
After all I was working so hard
To keep track of all the pieces
I had left of me, the pieces
I didn’t lose when I watched myself die

Consuming useless videos and content
Alone in my room
To distract from the racing and hurtful
Thoughts about you
And it always works for a moment
Or a minute or more
Until the intrusive thoughts come back,
Barging down my door
I put it back up, re-***** the hinges
And shut it
And lay back down to consume more
Mindless content

Her eyes glistened
Not unlike the moon
Or rain drops
When the clouds
Parted and let
The sun through
Her skin felt like
Warm honey
A feeling
You couldn’t
Quite shake
And her lips
Tasted; almost
The same
Her words were
Like ash in the breeze
Effortless and
Memorable
A sound sure
To please

We haven’t for a week now
And I’m hurting
With the fury I imagine
Burns in hell.

I don’t want to admit it
But I’m waiting by the phone
Waiting for a text or call
Saying you want to come home
But I’m just waiting
Waiting waiting waiting
Why don’t you come

I’ve cried in more dressing rooms
Then I care to admit,
I had the feeling that
It wasn’t the clothes;
It was me that didn’t fit.
But we aren’t supposed to all
Conform to “off the rack” shapes
And grow and skink so that
Our clothes can accommodate.
We are supposed to be
The standard they set.
Our clothes should fit all of us
So that we can feel our best
Don’t let those numbers intimidate you:
You’re the standard to be set.
That’s what the clothing industry
Hasn’t figured out yet.

We had a argument

I don’t even know why
Or how it started but
I began to cry
Uncontrollably and
You didn’t
Understand why
But in the past
Arguments like that
Would end in fist fights
And cruel words
So when you didn’t
Lash out at me
I couldn’t
comprehend
It

Or that kind of love

I used to want a lover to write a love poem about me

So this is a love poem for me, by me

I make my bed every morning, because it’s the first place I think about being after a long day
And sometimes I lay out pyjamas and face masks in case things don’t go so okay
I drink coffee on my own and enjoy exploring new sites and cities alone
I smile when I lock eyes with strangers and aren’t afraid to strike up conversations
I go swimming in the ocean alone, it’s the only way I truly feel the energy in my bones
I finish hot showers with a blast of cold water and smile when I see fathers and daughters
I think love is perplexing and don’t trust easy
But rest easy knowing I’m right here if I ever need me

A soulmate
is all the parts of you
You thought
you hated
They show up
and challenge
Who you thought
you were
And show you
who you can be
With a bit of love
and a whole
Lot of natural,
loving energy.

He gave me a daisy seed
But no soil to plant it in
And asked me to hold out hope
That it could grow from nothing

You looked deep into my eyes
Like you were searching for something
And I hoped you were looking for me
But you were looking for yourself
So I closed them, **** your ego.

I gave you my heart  

But you didn’t realize  

Because piece by piece  

A heart is easy to disguise



But I gave it to you in the strokes

Of my hand on your chest

And in the beating of my heart

When we laid down to rest



I saw the chance and I

Snuck it in through soft kisses

And you didn’t notice but  

I put in in our interlaced fingers



I saw it gather in your eyes

Saw you piece it back together  

I hope you hold onto it tightly

Because you could have my heart forever

You **** me like its love

And I crave your love like

it’s the air I need to breathe  

And so, I use your ***  

to satisfy my needs

When you told me you were seeing someone else,

A familiar sense of curiosity swept over me,

I wondered if it was who I thought  

It would be



I knew, but I could tell myself I didn't know

It was a suspicion with merit, sure

But the confirmation was missing  

Was missing



You made a mistake and told me,

Without really telling me who,

I knew. And now I know

I wish I didn’t

You like them sick,

With an appetite of cigarettes and ****

Yours, to be specific

Small enough for you to scare

But big enough for no one to care



You like them easy,

Freakish in what they’ll do to please

Only you, to be specific

Willing to do everything and anything  

For their all mighty king



You like them dumb,

It’s easier to get away with it that way

For you, to be specific  

Bruises raise less alarms  

When they’re wrapped in your arms



You like them disposable,

Dolls you can interchange whenever you want

For you, to be specific  

When you get bored of her  

Swap her for someone else you’d prefer.

My notes are full of conversations I never had

Not with you,



They contain words unspoken and unheard

But definitely felt



I wonder if you knew they were there

I wanted you to



I wonder if you could read them  

On my face



When I’d cry at night next to you

Did you hear?



Did you choose to ignore the hurt

You caused?



Was it easier for you to pretend  

I was the problem?



I wonder if your disillusion caused you  

To see me as happy

  

If you saw my notes you’d know

I wasn’t.

Not even close.

When I look through your eyes
I can’t see me
Just the shadow of something
... demonic
And when you look though my eyes
You still can’t see me