Some days I wake up
Mind torn from
stress dreams
And no desire to breakdown
On campus.
So I skip class.
Trapped in my mental jailcell
I dissect my compulsive thoughts
Only to see they stitched
Themselves back together
And are resistant to leave.
On days I can grasp and hold my will
I stew in class
Noticing my classmates
Who speak louder than I do,
Who answer questions more eloquently,
And speak science fluently,
I am left to boil in my
Lack of voice, skill, and knowledge.
At the end of my first class
I am already overdone,
A husk goes to the remaining classes
For me.
On days I wake up
Already
overwhelmed
I skip class
To avoid
Meltdown
Fighting fire with Magma,
this technique is
purely self-destructive.
And I know it.
Pressure builds like a volatile volcano…
I FAIL my classes and ERUPT
The peak that is my self esteem
Shattered by emails from professors,
The lava oozes down the slopes of Mt. Me
“Maybe I don’t Belong Here”
Starts the a nearby tsunami forming
Underneath my scalp
It gathers speed and force.
It decimates the cerebrum.
I have to rebuild...
This land is recycled often
Tremors with magnitudes that match
My GPA
Keep me vigilant and mindful
that collapse is part
Of my nature The complex societies that are rebuilt within my mind always thrive
….at the beginning of next semester.