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Things are not going in the right direction, nowadays
I wake up and begin to think a lot of things and end the day with the same thoughts 
I'm going through various phases these days that I don't know how to explain
And I don't want to express them either...
Happiness has been something that I can clearly see but can't feel 
I see people laughing and cheering around me, but that seems so artificial...

Now I abstain from being a part of those social groups
Where the use of the “F” word makes you cool and gives you a certificate for your confidence
But I don't blame them, Perhaps it's me only who lacks something
Something that makes me feel alienated in the crowd 
Every day I feel like a glass broken by several strokes of a hammer
But I collect myself again... just to witness the pain of those invisible scars...

Writing gives me peace of mind, but these days I avoid writing down the things
Not because I'm lacking inspiration or something, but I'm afraid
Afraid of the same words that used to heal me before but now haunt my peanut brain every now and then
The words I used to put life in are now attempting to shape my entire life...
I'm feeling like that caged bird who can't fly even after being freed 
Because she's got the false notion that she has no wings, perhaps the same notion I'm getting too.
I have to express a lot of things... might share them in the next part!
Anyway, I'm back here again... will try to interact more often now.
Song rae in Apr 2020
I come from bumpy roads,
The soft melody of Korean indie music playing on repeat in the car,
Droplets of water dripping down  the window matching the lazy beat of the songs
We hopelessly drove around this merry go round of a globe
My family and I moved so much to the point of me not knowing what the word "home" meant.
When people ask me where i'm from,
I hesitate and grow anxious. What if they tell me that I don't belong ? 7 years in Malaysia
And I still don't feel like i'm in the right place.
"I want to go home"
I say when i'm hanging out with my mates in school.
But truly,
I don't have a home.
I've faced a lot of racism and hate growing up. Writing Poems enables me to grow strong :) Message me if you want my instagram @ <3
Em MacKenzie Jan 2019
My demons and shadows are placing bets against me,
black is heartbreak and red is destruction.
They watch the wheel spin so intensely,
holding their breath so strongly that it’s creating suction.
The winner of the jackpot round
will play Russian Roulette with my life,
it’s inevitable, fated, destined and bound,
‘cause I brought a pen to a knife fight.

I’m winning in a debate,
on a topic for which I don’t care,
it won’t change the structure or state,
for a system that will always be there.
Who are we alone? Who are we together?
Drink the marrow straight from the bone,
so you can savour my blood forever.

I lost all faith in my last name,
as a MacKenzie- “I shine; not burn.”
But I feel the heat from the blame,
and the scarred mark I was born to earn.
The funeral pyre is already lit,
the flames flicker and engulf my strife,
I’m too stupid to halt and call forfeit,
‘cause I brought a pen to a knife fight.

Empty hands, and broken fingers,
hanging strands, clings and lingers.
Sunken shoulders, and lifeless eyes,
a name in my folders, alphabetically organized.

You can’t decipher a word’s meaning,
if the word is never actually spoken.
The tree never fell but it’s slightly leaning,
surprisingly roots just can’t be broken.
And sometimes I’m scared to blink,
even though I’m unimpressed with this sight,
I’ll be bleeding out in colourful ink
as I brought a pen to a knife fight.

You know sharks don’t sleep
and sadly neither do I.
But now I’m in too deep,
“you’re gonna need a bigger boat”
just to get by.

You told me to put on my dancing shoes,
and I strapped on two concrete blocks.
You asked me to relay the news
but I went for the thrills and shocks.
Now my oxygen is running low;
my heavy head is finally feeling light.
I’ll still try to give you a good show
but I brought a pen to a knife fight.
Innocent Tata Dec 2018
there's a warmness to pain
like a sprout in an arid land
almost forbidden but yet welcomed
like a familiar enemy

a cushion in these thorns
the holes they pierce
a stab to the scabs
the reward is to feel

there are truths i can't tell
they can't be made words
not even in the presence of God
its the essence of my thoughts

there are enemies i can't un-love
mysteries i can't un-solve
lips i can't un-kiss
lips i can't resist

i saw my mother's boy
i saw my father's man
it took my mother's joy
it took my father's smile

here lies the man i refuse to be
in captivity i refuse to yield
in a skin that isn't me
in a place that is killing me
Andrew Choo Nov 2018
My life’s a show
I’m holding back things
You don’t know
Mind’s inside out
My social anxiety’s got me
I ain’t too loud
Keep close my pride
I try to hide
My alter ego is an alien
I aim to be superhuman
Distance, I create
Help, I cannot wait
Taking myself into isolation
Need some insulation
My heart’s cold
Can’t stand the heat
Pressure’s too heavy
Expectations got me beat  
I’m going down
I don’t know if I can take this

(Now read from bottom to top)
For the past few years/months/weeks/days, I've been feeling so drained. It's like there's no motivation to do anything; it honestly hurts to think, sleep, talk, speak, breathe. That constant mental battle of feeling worthless and having no purpose. I feel like I'm an alien, isolated from everyone else. Alone, but not lonely. Dying, but not dead. It's like everything's upside down. Downside up.
Jayantee Khare May 2017
When i am in silence
I feel alienated in crowd
Explore the inner world
Jayantee Khare May 2017
When i am in silence
I feel alienated in crowd
Explore the inner world
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