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21.1k · Aug 2014
Body Shame
i s a b e l l a Aug 2014
Why is body shaming
curvy people wrong,
but shaming
skinny people is okay?
I can't help the way I am.
My body was built this way
so stop shaming me.
Stop shaming everyone.
18.7k · Jul 2014
Happy?
i s a b e l l a Jul 2014
Everyone wonders if you cut
or have suicidal thoughts.
I can still be depressed
and not want to die
or hurt myself.
Everyone wonders if you're sad.
No one ever asks if you're
happy.
14.5k · Jun 2014
This Perfect Little Girl
i s a b e l l a Jun 2014
This perfect little girl
seems like she's a storybook away,
and the image you wish to see
is drenched in black,
a shadow that won't reveal
the identity of its master.
This perfect little girl
used to hold your hand,
but is now letting go
to search for something greater
than protection -
she's searching for herself,
and this perfect little girl
you tried to create,
isn't who she's looking for.
5.2k · Jun 2014
STRESS
i s a b e l l a Jun 2014
The past days have been
empty
and agitated
and long;
a never ending day
that becomes dark later on,
yet too scared to meld
into night.
The sun has been up,
stressing,
worrying,
wondering
when the moon
will take her place.
But maybe it's just me,
too hectic to notice
that the time changed,
but I didn't.
3.7k · Jul 2014
NUMB
i s a b e l l a Jul 2014
I’m falling again.
The falling where
my mind wallows
with my heart
till they combine
and the pressure
becomes too much,
so it leaves me numb.
3.1k · Jul 2014
Oblivion
i s a b e l l a Jul 2014
People are so oblivious.
We don't notice
the seconds ticking by
or the one falling leaf
or breaking heart
or millions of teary eyes.
We don't notice
the feet shuffling by
or the words we can't hear.
We are oblivious
to love.
There is someone out there,
who,
like you,
is searching and waiting
for the one second
where the oblivion
stops.
2.0k · Jun 2015
a new comfort (10w)
i s a b e l l a Jun 2015
I'm so used to loneliness that I don't mind it.
1.5k · Sep 2018
vs
i s a b e l l a Sep 2018
vs
I dig my nails into my skin
and sob at my red marked back
I spit out vile words at myself
and lay in bed all day

I caress your skin
trace circles on your bare back
I say nothing but sweet words to you
and hold you in my arms all day

Why don't I treat myself as nice as you do to me?
Why don't I treat myself as nice as I do to you?
1.5k · Aug 2014
Lovestruck
i s a b e l l a Aug 2014
Seeing you up close
is like seeing the sun
pop out behind grey clouds.

Seeing you smile
is like running through a
field of flowers.

And seeing you far away
is another reminder
that you are not mine.
1.5k · Jul 2015
Anxiety & Depression
i s a b e l l a Jul 2015
You either feel
like you're going to die
or
you feel like
you're already dead.
1.5k · Jul 2014
Breathless
i s a b e l l a Jul 2014
Take my breath away
till I can't breathe -
till i'm suffocating,
drowning in your sea.
Take my breath away
till I can't remember
this feeling.
i s a b e l l a Jul 2015
Today is one of those days
where I feel nothing.
I feel like i'm not prepared.
I feel like a failure.
Today is one of those days
where I feel like I am nothing.
1.3k · Sep 2014
Repeat After Me
i s a b e l l a Sep 2014
I*  am  not  weak.
I am strong.
I will get through this.
It may be eating me alive,
but i'll end its hunger.
I am not weak.
I  am  a  *
survivor.
this poem is therapy for me, but whatever you're going through right now, please stay strong. You are amazing and so brave. Just please remember that.
1.3k · Oct 2015
writer's block
i s a b e l l a Oct 2015
I can not write down in words
how much I love you.
1.3k · Feb 2016
bi
i s a b e l l a Feb 2016
bi
B iting down on
I ce cold
S ilence
E ager to
X - claim the truth
U gly as it may be
A ll I want is
L ove
1.1k · Jun 2014
.
i s a b e l l a Jun 2014
.
There's a time in your life
when you question your sanity,
but it's already gone
when you end your sentence
with a period
and not a question mark.
1.1k · Jun 2016
i am the ocean
i s a b e l l a Jun 2016
i am the ocean
constantly flowing and ebbing,
from high to low
deep to shallow.
I can keep things afloat
yet drown them till they break
under my pressure.
i am the ocean.
beautiful
yet
deadly.
1.0k · Aug 2014
b&w
i s a b e l l a Aug 2014
b&w
Love is not colorful.
Love is black and white.
My tears are blue,
the blood I bleed is red,
my bruises purple,
my envy green.
All these feelings
are technicolor,
demanded to be seen;
felt.
Love sends your mind into a
black out.
Love is just passion fading from
white to grey.
Love is just a blank page;
the light from heaven.
Living is colorful.
Loving is death.
1.0k · Sep 2014
Are You Alright?
i s a b e l l a Sep 2014
Faking sanity
is a clear symptom
that you are going insane.
i s a b e l l a Jan 2016
You always find a way back.
You're light as a feather and your touch
is barely noticeable,
but then I feel every thread untwine,
I feel it drape over me like the heaviest curtain in the world.
I'm stuck
and I can't breathe.
I can't lift this curtain off of me.
I can't move
and I don't want to move.
I used to fly with the birds -
I used to be light as a feather.
but now there's rain plummeting
from the sky and drenching me,
making me heavy as a curtain.
You always find a way back.
932 · Jun 2014
Melt
i s a b e l l a Jun 2014
Your name falls like snow
frosting over my mind,
dusting my heart lightly.
It keeps my memories
frozen
cold
till they're etched in my mind
like ice.
But everyone knows 
that the snow will melt
leaving nothing behind
but my lukewarm heart.
916 · May 2015
Therapy
i s a b e l l a May 2015
My life is crumbling
and all I can do
is stand here, waiting for help.
I've helped myself all I can,
and bad things keep happening.
I need company,
I need love,
I need comfort.
My life is crumbling
and all I can do
is watch.
893 · Jun 2014
. . . w a t e r . . .
i s a b e l l a Jun 2014
Water usually represents cleansing;

a new beginning.

But how can it represent that when

boats are sinking,

kids are drowning,

waves are growing?

How can water cleanse the mind

of someone who is anchored to

the bottom of the ocean?
892 · Jan 2017
drought
i s a b e l l a Jan 2017
I want to pull you close
and let my fingertips
dance across your soul
and I want your eyes
to reach into mine
and refill my drought
but the magnitude
of fear inside of me
stops me from pulling you close
and letting you know
that I want you to be
mine
889 · Jul 2014
quixotic
i s a b e l l a Jul 2014
Falling in love in a dream
is the worst
because you wake up and
no one's there.
879 · Jun 2014
Insatiable
i s a b e l l a Jun 2014
Perfection
can only come from the ones
who thrive for success,
who need everything to be just right.
There is no such things as
mediocre
or in between.
It's like life and death -
you're never satisfied with both.
849 · Jun 2014
Angel?
i s a b e l l a Jun 2014
Love is a mask
                                                            ­                                      I
choose not to decipher who is behind
or what they're hiding, because I
                                                               ­                                   feel
like my heart will shatter if I find
anything out - if the trust will be lost
or if they'll break my heart, because
how can something so innocent turn
into something so dark? It is
                                                              ­                                    like
an angel waiting for your entrance
to heaven, only to laugh when they
see you
                                                                ­                                  falling
back down to hell.
An Ellen Hopkins inspired poem. She usually writes in this style and I find it quite magical, and challenging to write in because it's like a puzzle, trying to figure out what words will work with the others. But that's why I love poetry :) This poem is about all those stupid people who mess up love and give it a bad name.
843 · Sep 2014
d o n e.
i s a b e l l a Sep 2014
Who said dreaming is better than reality?
What if they’re both equally as bad?
I can’t tell the difference between reality
and a dream anymore because they’re
both turning out to be a nightmare.
843 · Jul 2015
revisit
i s a b e l l a Jul 2015
When my past comes to visit me,
it isn't a smack in the face.
It gradually creeps up,
wrapping itself around my body,
engulfing me.
It knocks down all my feelings
and throws them away,
making room for itself.
My past is not a welcome guest,
but it's hard to kick it out.
833 · May 2017
long distance
i s a b e l l a May 2017
I find you in the pages of your favorite book
and in the songs we would listen to in your car
I find you in my daily conversations
and in the fading scent of your sweatshirt
but I don't find you here
anywhere next to me
and I don't think people understand
how hard it is
to find your person
in the arms of the sweatshirt
that no longer belongs to them
i s a b e l l a Oct 2015
I just want you to know there’s going to be a day when everything is okay. There’s going to be a day where you’ll cry tears of joy to a sad song. There’s going to be a day where you won’t care about what people have said. There’s going to be days when you won’t hate getting out of bed. And I just want you to know to keep waking up, because that day could be sooner than you think.
816 · Aug 2014
Hate or Love?
i s a b e l l a Aug 2014
He whispered in my ear
and killed me with his words.
806 · Sep 2016
my life is going nowhere
i s a b e l l a Sep 2016
I'm an optimist
until I feel my body and notice something's off,
until I hear a voice in my head that gives me reasons
why I shouldn't be happy,
until I realize everyone is moving on
and I'm stuck here in this trance.
I'm an optimist
until I realize
how ****** up I am.
794 · Aug 2018
i am not real
i s a b e l l a Aug 2018
I haven't written a poem in a year
I'm uninspired
and there's no ink pouring from my tongue
I am drained of creativity
Life has become a mirage
I am a ghost
floating through moments
a robot
staring at a screen
day after day
waiting for the moment
where I wake up
and feel alive
785 · Jan 2017
something more
i s a b e l l a Jan 2017
I can't explain the swell in my chest
when you say you will miss me
and that you wish I was with you
and that you love me,
and I know we are friends
but I feel like you're my
home.
i s a b e l l a Nov 2016
When you tell people you feel empty
they imagine a lack of feeling
but I feel so much
heaviness in my heart
like an anchor is weighing it down
and I feel every color in the sky
and how it's too much to handle
unless it matches my mood
and I feel every second of the day
and how it slows down to mock me
and I feel every laugh
and question why it takes so much out of me
to do a simple task
as being happy
741 · Nov 2016
Tell Me Why
i s a b e l l a Nov 2016
Tell me why my mind shuts down
and prepares itself for death
and the only thing I can think about it is
when it's going to happen
and the only thing I feel
are my tingly hands and my heart that
is about to jump out of my chest
and my tight muscles
and sweaty body
tell my why something I used to love
used to not think about as treacherous
becomes my downfall
tell me why my mind chooses to overthink
this yet not overthink anything else
and tell my why my mind shuts down
and the only thing I can think about is
how death doesn't sound that bad
and the only thing I feel
is this numbness
and foggy head
tell me why I fear death one day
yet the next I welcome the idea
tell me why
tell me why
tell me why
I am this way
732 · Jun 2015
tomber en amour
i s a b e l l a Jun 2015
I want to kiss a boy.
I want to kiss a girl.
I just want to know
what it feels like
to have a connection
with someone.
724 · Jun 2014
With You
i s a b e l l a Jun 2014
There's a place
where your heart settles
and your cheeks flush
and you shake with happiness;
and then there's a place
where your heart breaks
and your tears flood
and you shake with terror...
and that place
is with you.
698 · Sep 2015
growing up boring
i s a b e l l a Sep 2015
My teenage years flew by,
and not once have I experienced
the quintessential rebellion
that movies portray.
I've never smoked.
I've never drank.
I've never been to a real party.
I've never snuck out.
I've never kissed anyone.
My teenage years have been
uneventful,
and I'm not sure if I should be
grateful
or upset about it.
665 · Mar 2015
Dear Friend,
i s a b e l l a Mar 2015
It's hard to see your friend
distance herself away
just for a boy who may
forget her name in a few months.
The hours we had
now belong to him,
and he tugs her away
from us and keeps her in his hold.
She's now friends with new people
and I understand people grow apart,
but I never knew how people
could leave long term friendships
for a relationship
that could end
any moment.
My friend's boyfriend is really possesive and I never get to see her anymore and she ignores us and he pulls her away when we try talking to her. I miss my friend. Have you guys gone through this?
657 · Sep 2018
i miss you
i s a b e l l a Sep 2018
three lonely words
bouncing in the walls
of my mind
back and forth
back and forth
i whisper them to myself
so much
i almost convince myself
you can hear them
but when i wake up
you're not in my bed
and there's no messages on my phone
so i continue with my day
my heart sinking lower and lower
and the three lonely words
turn into an echo
i told you i miss you and you have yet to respond
i s a b e l l a Feb 2016
do you have to feel scared
to be in love?
i've known you for so long,
that all i feel is comfort
and safety.

do you have to feel butterflies
to be in love?
when i think of you, they flutter around,
but when i look at you,
there are none.

what is the true definition of love?
because when i look at you,
i see someone so beautiful,
so caring,
so fragile,
all i want to do is hold you close.

am i in love?
or am i in love with the idea of you?
633 · May 2016
The Letters
i s a b e l l a May 2016
Dear Fear,
You are a giant that sits on my shoulders
and you always bring a heavy fog with you;
and I don’t understand
how something that’s invisible
could weigh me down so much.
When you’re around,
my thoughts dissipate
except for the most urgent ones
telling me why I can’t do xyz.
I’m a tea kettle,
bubbling and boiling
and screaming at the top of my lungs
yet no one is around to take me off the stove.
Most of the time,
I don’t need your hover,
yet I need you to push me forward
on to a stage,
on to say what needs to be said,
on to live a life
that’s filled with
hope…


Dear Hope,
You are the catalyst
that kickstarts an endless marathon
of daydreams;
you’ve toppled my fears
over the edge of the sky
to offer me a clear day;
and you’ve showed me
how I need to believe in myself.
You’re in every word I write,
every syllable I say,
and every move I make.
You unwrapped fear
and inside the envelope
was a reflection
of your spirit.
You also shared with me
that none of this would’ve been possible
without the presence
of fear…


P.S.
I’ve looked fear and hope in the eyes
and they both share
the same face.
i s a b e l l a Apr 2017
What if it didn't turn out the way it did?
What if I kept my mouth shut
and just let you continue to walk away?
Cause that night I did
and that bothers me.
What if it didn't turn out the way it did?
What if you kept your mouth shut
and continued to let our hearts grow apart?
I'm glad you didn't,
but it still bothers me
that I had something worthy of saying
and I didn't say it
because I wanted you to be happy
even if that meant
I couldn't be.
623 · Feb 2017
Withdrawl
i s a b e l l a Feb 2017
My whole body trembles
at human contact
like an addict
that is on withdrawl
so many years
without touch
leaves me searching for hands
and embraces
that will calm
my feverish heart
and the day after
my heart is still
excruciatingly beating
trying to jump out of my chest
and walk amongst the world
to leap into someone's arms
because that moment was not enough
and I need more
that moment was not enough
I'm an addict of love
and now I know the highs and lows
of withdrawl
623 · Jun 2014
innocence
i s a b e l l a Jun 2014
innocence is a game
everyone must lose
606 · Jul 2015
angst
i s a b e l l a Jul 2015
please feed me
with kisses
that taste like finality
because we
only feel alive
when we are
about to die
596 · Jan 2017
A List
i s a b e l l a Jan 2017
I write poetry
because there are some things
I simply cannot talk about.

1. you and how much I have to say to you
but I can't say it
2. how my mind turns off and I feel like there's
a weight pulling me down
3. how confused I am about everything
4. you
5. how much I love you
574 · Sep 2016
"but you're not alone?"
i s a b e l l a Sep 2016
Loneliness is saying hi to people you see from your class.
Loneliness is hanging out with people but not getting anything out of it.
Loneliness is connecting with someone but you never see them again.
Loneliness is feeling alone when surrounded by people.
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