Broken glass shards poke out from healthy hearts;
Reopening wounds you assumed closed up.
Okay, okay, it’s fine to fall apart.

Overthink and make your mind want to dart;
Keeping thoughts hidden in a tight lockup.
Mornings are brand new, refresh and restart.

Always to blame but never question art;
It takes time to find a way to buildup.
Okay, okay, it’s fine to fall apart.

Positivity, easy to kick start;
Negativity, easy to blow up.
Mornings are brand new, refresh and restart.

Back to a place you thought you had depart;
Yourself will come back to fill up your cup.
Okay, okay, it’s fine to fall apart.

May be lost, but you are not a spare part;
Darkness just crawls back for a quick checkup
Okay, okay, it’s fine to fall apart.
Mornings are brand new, refresh and restart.

Is it awful of me to wish
That you could feel one
Ounce of what I was feeling?
Maybe I just want to be missed
To be wanted
But you are so happy
And maybe I'm jealous of that

I need to be alone to help myself,
but being alone hurts me.

I'm so used to loneliness that I don't mind it.

Love is a mask
                                                            ­                                      I
choose not to decipher who is behind
or what they're hiding, because I
                                                               ­                                   feel
like my heart will shatter if I find
anything out - if the trust will be lost
or if they'll break my heart, because
how can something so innocent turn
into something so dark? It is
                                                              ­                                    like
an angel waiting for your entrance
to heaven, only to laugh when they
see you
                                                                ­                                  falling
back down to hell.

please feed me
with kisses
that taste like finality
because we
only feel alive
when we are
about to die

You either feel
like you're going to die
or
you feel like
you're already dead.

You are an upheaval
that is not chaotic
yet you are enough
to shake the center
of my soul out of its
stagnant state

Today is one of those days
where I feel nothing.
I feel like i'm not prepared.
I feel like a failure.
Today is one of those days
where I feel like I am nothing.

It's like a sick twisted game you two love playing.
After a perpetual 24 hours of worrying and over thinking,
the next 24 hours are spent plunging into the depths of dark waters.
I can't escape.
It's like tug of war
and my rope is fraying.
One day I'm on the edge clinging for life
and the next I'm giving in to the idea of death.

B iting down on
I ce cold
S ilence
E ager to
X - claim the truth
U gly as it may be
A ll I want is
L ove

Why is body shaming
curvy people wrong,
but shaming
skinny people is okay?
I can't help the way I am.
My body was built this way
so stop shaming me.
Stop shaming everyone.

I wish you could understand
the conundrum in my mind
but not even I can untangle its meaning
it's this mess in the middle of my chest
and it's hard to breathe when I think about it
but I don't even know what I'm thinking about
so everything is quiet
but if you ever listened to silence
you would hear this loud ringing
and it hurts your brain
so I can't be quiet
so I keep my mind busy
but that hurts me
so I sit and do nothing
but that hurts me
I am this conundrum
and if I can't solve it
I don't think anyone ever will

Loneliness is saying hi to people you see from your class.
Loneliness is hanging out with people but not getting anything out of it.
Loneliness is connecting with someone but you never see them again.
Loneliness is feeling alone when surrounded by people.

Love is not colorful.
Love is black and white.
My tears are blue,
the blood I bleed is red,
my bruises purple,
my envy green.
All these feelings
are technicolor,
demanded to be seen;
felt.
Love sends your mind into a
black out.
Love is just passion fading from
white to grey.
Love is just a blank page;
the light from heaven.
Living is colorful.
Loving is death.

Do you know the feeling
of sitting in a hospital room
waiting to hear what's wrong with you?
Do you know the feeling
of getting on stage
to talk in front of everyone?
Do you know the feeling
of almost getting in a car accident?
That's what anxiety feels like.

Could you call this love?
How my thumb rubs circles into your hand
like it has a mind of its own
and how your scent has become one of my favorites
and when I wake up and smell you on my hair
I feel alive because it's almost like you're there
and how I close my eyes
when your fingers squeeze my skin
because you want to pull me closer
and how your laugh brings me joy
and how happy I become when you slip me drawings and notes
and how we fit together perfectly in each other's arms
and how the world quiets out when we kiss
Could you call this love?
I guess you could.

It's hard to see your friend
distance herself away
just for a boy who may
forget her name in a few months.
The hours we had
now belong to him,
and he tugs her away
from us and keeps her in his hold.
She's now friends with new people
and I understand people grow apart,
but I never knew how people
could leave long term friendships
for a relationship
that could end
any moment.

I fell in love with your eyes
and you closed them shut.

I want to pull you close
and let my fingertips
dance across your soul
and I want your eyes
to reach into mine
and refill my drought
but the magnitude
of fear inside of me
stops me from pulling you close
and letting you know
that I want you to be
mine

I just want you to know there’s going to be a day when everything is okay. There’s going to be a day where you’ll cry tears of joy to a sad song. There’s going to be a day where you won’t care about what people have said. There’s going to be days when you won’t hate getting out of bed. And I just want you to know to keep waking up, because that day could be sooner than you think.

You talk about them
and I know you don't
love them anymore
but my anxiety tells me
you do

When you tell people you feel empty
they imagine a lack of feeling
but I feel so much
heaviness in my heart
like an anchor is weighing it down
and I feel every color in the sky
and how it's too much to handle
unless it matches my mood
and I feel every second of the day
and how it slows down to mock me
and I feel every laugh
and question why it takes so much out of me
to do a simple task
as being happy

fire fingers
burning things down
without ever noticing
the destruction
around you

fire fingers
burning yourself
without ever realizing
you are hurting

fire fingers
searching for cool rain
to mellow down your
scorching heart

fire fingers
holding on to anything
you can grasp
afraid that one day
you'll turn it all to ash

I hear the train off in the distance
and a siren echoing off the streets
and in my room I hear silence
because I am
alone.

My teenage years flew by,
and not once have I experienced
the quintessential rebellion
that movies portray.
I've never smoked.
I've never drank.
I've never been to a real party.
I've never snuck out.
I've never kissed anyone.
My teenage years have been
uneventful,
and I'm not sure if I should be
grateful
or upset about it.

Everyone wonders if you cut
or have suicidal thoughts.
I can still be depressed
and not want to die
or hurt myself.
Everyone wonders if you're sad.
No one ever asks if you're
happy.

He whispered in my ear
and killed me with his words.

God! The taste of her lips haunts me
and I have never been so transfixed.
Her peaceful state of slumber draws
me closer and my fingers dance on
her skin like they were meant to be
there. God! Even when I am alone
my mind is occupied and it feels like
we never parted. I want to hold her
forever and never let her love go.
God! How did I get so lucky?!

I haven't written a poem in a year
I'm uninspired
and there's no ink pouring from my tongue
I am drained of creativity
Life has become a mirage
I am a ghost
floating through moments
a robot
staring at a screen
day after day
waiting for the moment
where I wake up
and feel alive

i am the ocean
constantly flowing and ebbing,
from high to low
deep to shallow.
I can keep things afloat
yet drown them till they break
under my pressure.
i am the ocean.
beautiful
yet
deadly.

I used to not think
or feel anything at all,
but now I think too much
and feel everything at once,
and I don't know which one's worse.

and i'm not sure if you have noticed
but i'm waiting for this void
to be filled up
by your sweet honey voice

i'm starting to feel like
i am a dying flower
that you no longer flock to
in search of pollination

three lonely words
bouncing in the walls
of my mind
back and forth
back and forth
i whisper them to myself
so much
i almost convince myself
you can hear them
but when i wake up
you're not in my bed
and there's no messages on my phone
so i continue with my day
my heart sinking lower and lower
and the three lonely words
turn into an echo

Perfection
can only come from the ones
who thrive for success,
who need everything to be just right.
There is no such things as
mediocre
or in between.
It's like life and death -
you're never satisfied with both.

Her words fell out into
the darkness of her car,
my vision blurry
from the tears flowing
from my eyes

She wipes them away

Her kisses feel like a goodbye
but in my heart
in my veins
in the way the sun rises every morning
I know that she will find her way back to me
that no matter how long we are apart
working on making ourselves the best versions
of who we are meant to be
I know that
she will come back

We hurt so much
because we hurt ourselves
we didn't want any more damage
even though her saying
we need time apart
felt like I was losing a part of myself

She wants to be the best version of herself
for her
but also for me
and my heart will continue to beat
with those words

I know she'll find her way back to me

She is the sun rising every morning
to greet my waking eyes