always shining bright,
never frowning or ill at ease,
never letting me down,
and i never thanked you

they once called you beautiful,
with fire for hair,
a dangerous beauty
they called you
as you set the world ablaze
leaving ash in your wake.

— becomes a wildfire in the night // a.

you burned like a star
they whispered,
terror and awe laced in their words

you burned so suddenly, so bright
everyone but the sun had to look away
the sun stared down as
the burning boy fell underneath the water-
blue hands reaching up to catch him.

stars burn out too fast
they speak,
indifference and pity colour their words.

the first time,
the last time,
i would like to sleep
in your arms again, darling

haunt me long
after you
fade from me

i’ve stopped trying to
make my pain sweet,
just to please you.

write me a tragedy
and i'll write the tale of you and i-
i will build you cathedrals and palaces of words
and burning infernos of our love-
leave trails of ash onto each page
and give us a bittersweet end
so that you may realize the words i spill out will burn you-
that to love a poet- to love me-
i make my tragedy yours

1.) you are loved
2.) i’m sorry
3.) goodnight
4.) please don’t hate me
5.) i missed you today
6.) i’ll see you tomorrow
7.) i wish i could’ve learned to love you
8.) do you hate me?
9.) how can i fix this?
10.) we’re definitely going to see that
11.) do you miss me?
12.) go away
13.) i love you...(not sent)
14.) you don’t.
15.) how can you say that?
16.) it’s all in your head
17.) i swear i’ll do it
18.) i wish we could go back to the beginning
19.) how young we were then
20.) please come back

— take a picture, it’ll last longer (you didn’t) // a.

“i will make you immortal,“ he says as his lips touch your skin, leaving trails of ash behind. you do not think of his words.

"i will make you immortal” he coaxes into your ear as he beckons you closer, the wax dripping from your wings and burn your skin as he reaches out to kiss you. it’s not enough.

"i will make you immortal” he whispers as he watches you fall, feathers fluttering around you, looking too divine in the midst of your fall. he couldn’t look away.

"i will make you immortal” he cried out as he watches the saltwater sea swallow up your golden touched, sunburnt body.  

“i will make you immortal” he vows as you fade into a story about boys who fall in love with suns meant for the sea.

where were your gods when rome was set aflame?

—— no one heard your cries // a

your shadow, i found,
was still clearer then your face.

if you asked me the moment
icarus felt like tragedy and poetry,
i would laugh and say he knew,
that boys who love suns are already tragedy,
but seas who love boys are poetry,
because love is a double edged sword
and the moment of clarity ends all too soon.

my body’s missing pieces,
and i don’t know
how to fix it,
or fill it
without your embrace.

they say all lovers die twice;
once when they die separate,
the second when they'll forgotten-
and their story along with them.

i sometimes imagine
boys with sunburnt skin falling
into saltwater seas
with laughter on their lips

i. as i lay out on the concrete street i wonder if the bright lights and loud honking will drown out my thoughts; if this is how it ends.

ii. rolling to my side i feel the soft sheets of my bed- pills in hand as i ponder taking one too many, the phone’s nearby anyway.

iii. moving my head off the edge i imagined the never ending sky- pitch black and coated with dancing stars; standing on the edge i’ve never felt so light before.

iv. as i lay with my arms resting on my chest i think of my coffin; wrapped in an itchy dress and skin littered with scars they couldn’t cover.

v. i wake up on the floor, sheets askew and a ringing in my ears as i take in a breath, the day anew.

Your scent lingers on your shirts
and your words still taint my skin
your memory still eats away at me,
slowly but surely
i get rid of you
you become a ghost
i let you fade
until you’re nothing.  
                       ( just like you told me. )

— karma’s a ***** has so am i // a.

the days seem colder without you,
i guess you’re a memory
that will never fade,
your touch hollows me out
and leaves me cold and sore

i am not a poet for you,
for the words i write come from
the deepest parts of me
spilling out like a river,
a never ending stream of
words falling grasping and drowning
i am not a poet for you,
these words do not sing for you,
you do not get to hold and touch
and squish and shape them to your desires
i am not a poet for you,
my words and pain belong to me, they are mine

— i am not a poet for anyone but myself // a.

light shrouded in darkness,
even you couldn’t help it
never once fitting in or sticking out,
always one with the light

every day is a new adventure with you,
voicing our thoughts
as the weight of the world closes in.

midnight talks and kitchen dance battles,
a hopeless type of gal,
red roses,
i loved you
and you’ll never know how much

You started like spring-
loving and warm, you kissed me in the dark.
You then became summer,
constant and angry, you lit up fireworks in the night.
You then like autumn-
distracted and colder, you made leaves fall.
You then left in winter-
and left me cold and sore in your wake.

1.) Stuff the words on the tip of your tongue back into your mouth and face forward. If you shout from your seat in your truck to a pretty girl, remember: she’s not a dog. But, you of course may forget that.
2.) If you see a girl walk faster than before don’t take that as a sign to continue shouting until she stops and turns to the sound of the words that she hears more than genuine compliments.
3.) If you see a girl walking by herself walk and do not stop to talk to her or follow her
4.) do not sharpen your knives and sweet words or else she'll use them against you

— it only takes one more muscle to bite you and smile red // a.

darling,
anything for you i would
keep trying to make your shine known
out of all of us, i
toast to you as i raise my glass,
and you’ll be amazing

i cannot take back the words i say
and swallow them up
as to make them sweet for your ears.
i cannot make my pain sweet.
i cannot take the blood and push it back into my body from which it has bled.
i cannot make the bitter taste disappear with lovely words that sound hallow.
i cannot hallow myself out,
make room for your words that push me aside.  
i cannot make room for you,
for your words are a knife to my body,
a scar i cannot heal,
a pain that will never go away.
i cannot write the sweet without the bitter,
i cannot be your poet with my lips sewn shut.

with a heavy heart the sun watches the boy with broken wings fall further away from him.
“i loved him,” the sun says watching him fade underneath the waves.
“i loved him first” the sea answer back

no one tells you when
loving someone becomes too much ;
it seethes.
it waits.
it blooms.
and sometimes it rages,
and sometimes it ends.

you almost make me
hate you more
than I hate myself.

— how you push my buttons // a.

if time could stand still,
the rain would feel cool upon my skin,
the weight of the pain would lessen,
and my breath would no longer hurt

if time could stand still
my would be adventures would start
with nothing holding me back
and the risks I shielded away would set me free


if time could stand still,
I would live with my mistakes,
my past would not define me
and the pain could lessen

— if time could stand still I’d let my grief consume me whole // a.

"i’ll burn you," she said as their hands touched. she throws her head back and laughs, it's a cool, melodious sound, like summer rain on her skin.
"i expect nothing less," she says smiling. lips meeting flushed skin, hands leaving ash in their wake.

death,
my friend,
comes for us all in the end.

go away,
sleep just take me
well gosh dang it
i’m done,
gone,
****,
disappearing,
vanished,
out of here.
                  ( ***** you brain)
— sleep calls with overactive brains // a.

I used to sit around and wonder:
where did I lose myself?
where did I go?  


Now I look in the
mirror and realize,
I was never really there in the first place.

— the mirror keeps staring back at me // a.

I lay in bed thinking of thoughts as the waves crash upon sand- seashells of thoughts scattered and are taken back their owner as I cannot grab them fast enough


I’m falling into the abyss— cold and unforgiving as the

i love you- i don't

nightmares scare me but not as much as you

— fragments of ideas spun in the ground // a.

whisper sweet nothings in the dark
with your hand
wrapped delicately around my throat

You are touch starved
hunger pained,
steel-toed mess
of sun kissed hair and
poison kissed lips
you are my everything and
nothing


— for I love all these parts of you that others do not see // a.

"come back” i whisper.
"come back” i say.
"come back” you hear.
"come back” i plead.
"please, come back”

i had so much to
say to you,
but the words die
on my lips.

i had so much to
give to you,
but there’s no more to
give away.

i had so much to
look forward with you,
but there’s only regrets
in my heart.

sometimes i'm like the night,
mysterious, dark, never-ending.
sometimes you're like the stars,
illuminating, bright, ever-lasting.
and sometimes we made and meet
and kiss and dance and die
and sometimes i never see you and you see me
and sometimes we disappear from each other
and sometimes i drown myself in your light
and, and, sometimes i miss you too.

— let us bask in our nighttime adventures // a.