Cocktail sadness
breaking through, the light is fading
so will you.
Wave at the ages pasing by
oh so slowly, feel and cry.
Another day gone in the making
you never remember the lists,
beach friends memories erode
nothing's left but words of old.
And you don't want that girl
your're only here for ***,
and she just likes the way
you dance out that clumsy cigarette.
Nothing's there or present
so you try to write it down,
you wove a crown of feelings
but no flowers lye around.

Let's give it some meaning?
Let me find the luck,
Let's build a treehouse
out of all the dead stuff

Cleopatra, Cleopatra
take down those fangs of yours
for while you're mad all Egypt cries
oh, will you leave us all alone

Loved alike by loosers and champs
both snow and rain
twain king and *****
We yield Cleopatra, Cleopatra
oh, please leave us alone

Fire to the heart
a glacial wind to the brain
the honest is vanquished
the poor is slain
No more Cleopatra, Cleopatra
now let us drop the arms.

A black ball of grime,
two legs sticking out
of the top.
Gooey and all covered
in slime, it's silently bleeding
and cannot stop will not stop.
Farrell the adventures,?
Farwell the friends that made
his arial travels shorter,?
his stare is not with us
anymore?he has forgot 
whatever friends?there ever was ?

Dead Pigeon. ?

Tossed like a pile of ****.t?
ran over a couple dozen of times ?
by tires and people's kicks.?
But he is dead he just won't ?react,
someone please do ?something! ?

Dead Pigeon. ?

The bird deserves a burial ?
he is calling at me
with ?his glossy eyes:
?asking me to help
?but I can't?
Dead Pigeon?
But he still lives!
?His eyes, veiled,
bloodshot and?black,
point at the gutter?as if to say: ?
Oh the Horror! ?**The Horror!

D on't
E ever
P retend
R eason
E xceeds
S olidarity;
S imply
I gnore
O ngoing
N egativities.

Afraid of  humiliation,
It's sour smell and taste
Reaches up to my heart
And triggers my fears,
Which lit up all at once.
What a fire.
I cannot hold this is,
The jealousy won't fit in,
The fear grabs me again by
The responsibilities.
The fire is near,
I will try to jump over it,
But I have just noticed it's heat.
Will I burn my wings ?
Will I save the day ?
Does it at all matter
If the others make it safe
Who am I to envy
The ones that aren't me
How can I crave security
Like this, dying,
Dying to wait for
Life to reach the stake !
I know I am late,
But, aware I will run, as fast
As my legs will carry me.
Taking life's chance.

**** it,
I'm done.
I can't take this **** anymore
someone is palying a trick on me
it's like the world was made
mean for the purpose of my own personal torture.
Too much suffering for one man,
surely this isn't just
my life was made to rust.
I am deceived by everyone,
those who speak the alien toungue
of hate, ***, and pride
those who aren't alive.
I've been tourmented
I've been ******
False hope given then
driven back down to suffocate
in an abyss of black ink
as if to make me long the
smell of the deserved air.
To whatever is pulling those
strings.
On behalf of a simple mortal being
******* .
Hard.

**** it,
I'm done.
I can't take this **** anymore
someone is playing a trick on me
it's like the world was made
mean for the purpose of my own personal torture.
Too much suffering for one man,
surely this isn't just
my life was made to rust.
I am deceived by everyone,
those who speak the alien toungue
of hate, ***, and pride
those who aren't alive.
I've been tourmented
I've been ******
False hope given
then driven back down
to suffocate
in an abyss of black ink
as if to make me long the
smell of the deserved air.

To whatever is pulling those
strings:
on behalf of a simple
mortal being who
dosen't know your ugly face:
I will not laugh.
I shall not cry.
But you are dreaming if you think
I'll give up on my dreams.
Numbers are numbers,
and I'm not on a scale.
So come back where you came
cause I'm gonna try
twice as ******* your ***.

I forgive myself of the pain I am,
having always believed I wasn't a man
and though I feel
the darkness rise to conquer
I will always believe
that light is stronger.

We kissed,
Well she did rather
I just ate her tongue
Out with an rotten appetite.
Not feeling turned on
Not hearing the song
Just responding
Answering back
My **** in my pocket
My heart in my back.
I didn't connect.
She did.
I like her.
But my friend called her fat
So I feel like I shouldn't
Though deep inside I don't
Give a flying ****
Not because I don't care
But because it doesn't matter
She freaking likes me
**** how rare
And I'm here saying no
To what I need and want
Basically she is awesome inside
And awesome out
Out of her sticky brown eyes
I can't get out.
She would still have me:
She accepts my stupidity
and lack of faith in myself.
But do I really want it
Can the pain be dealt?

I did the right thing though
I feel good to have cut it off quite correctly
Because there's another
To which I promised something
So I'm acting correctly really.

Don't want to loose her as a friend
College is lonely as it is
I want her to feel my pain
So she understands more
And so she won't put a cross on me
Because I need more time
Because she is really sweet

When out of luck, we ****** our trust
To bitter pointless Seas,
Objects to objects \ love to love
Oh why cannot we be free.
An insect croaks in the head-jelly,
A cuckoo beats in the chest.
While pearls of salt from children's follies
Come crashing down our necks.

He's mud on **** shoes: Never clean,
And though he loves her
Like a dream, they're still apart;
The grass stays green :
You cannot conquer the unseen.
Watching, the invisible policeman shouts:
Evil is lurking, check your route!
But never shall I ever choose his way
I am human
I seize the day.

Flies will eat our faces,
Truly we all rot. This I said to teach
You something life will not.
Screaming along, the Ugly and vain
The cracking full, or Empty train
Rings the official bell of welcome,
Although it only means goodbye.
And yet lovers still wave across the pier
While some others break a lie.

I wish we were together
Not world's apart like this
Not touching is one thing
But there's much more that i miss

I miss your face
Your words, and breath
The morning surprises
And midnight sets

I've never seen your face
North heard your voice
For you think you're ugly
That your voice is coarse

Show yourself honey
Well see how I feel about you
I can't take it anymore
Because you're beautiful inside.

What if you were a treasure
Hiding in disguise?

Voice of reaon,
calm soothing nerdy one,
quite close to you although internaly
lightly bruised
by his celebrity,
it's with great felicity that
he waves at you
through his blue or brown eyes
you can fell even through the grizzing
teevee

and there are cheers as his breath says good bye
and his hand does the peace and love
and all gathered around him
shove friendly for a handshake
milkshake of people and smiles
he's gonna win this race
we are gonna end this
hatred about race

he's gonna fix some thing
he's gonna be good
he's gonna put us in a time
we could't have dreamed of in a milion year
we always wished it come
paradise,  yet fresh here in america
next is the world
next is the world
next is living together

he shook many hands as the ground around us shook
with the foots walking and pushing gently
behind his podium like a bird
he calmly politely turned around
and smiled still as he left with some body guards

everyone was still chanting and it was all so good

we had a messiah
a not bought polition
he was white inside
and every color out
so he walked in the
filled hall like a fruit basket
airs of

he has been shot
**** what is he saying what have I heared
let me fold my glasses what this is absurd
he was our messiah he was the peace
and now a metal piece thrown through him you say ?
now please let me not stay here
what
oh wow
now
like his brother
its so sad
its takes my words a away
i didnt want him to not continue
he was ours
we were his
all together on the same
lether swing singing
and so happy and fun just one second ago
his smile still shines on me
and now

now well,
we need to find a solution

but i cant look

i want to protect them from the crooks.

peace and love

rip jfk + rk

on these cobbled beaches
of streets so bland, suburban sadness
streches like sand.
and out of the fog
the one that kills the bugs and people
leaving them dead, unanimated
along the flagpole, i feel it creep.
the beloved one is here,
again
far and close from my heart,
close and far from me,
yet nothing ever happens,
no results to see,
the fog could last a year
and wouldn't still grow up

she's pretty,
in my dreams at least.
How sad.
A virtual g̶i̶r̶l̶friend
I could Love

I met a girl I may not meet
I love this girl I cannot touch
I love this girl who lives far away
beyond reasonable doubt
we cant ever say
when it will ever start.
It's getting too close
its like I'm in love with a ghost.
She in a life but
not the one I wish to live.
100 times a think of this
and still we kiss we kiss we kiss.
I'm afraid I'm worshipping a mark
that I will never be able to rub off
I want to be honest and tell her
I want her,
And I'm lost because I can't,
I talked to her because I was lonely,
now I'm lonely because I want more.
That's a little bit my fault.

I told her everything,
except when I cheated on her
from across the sea,
because I gotta get it.
I can't help it.
And it kills me to know she prob does the same.

In tonight's dream we met again
but she was with another man
and all I wanted was to leave
this world of dreams and seal
this deal.

So I'm getting too close to a cold sun.
I let myself do this,
here's to you Vic:

Let's be honest,
Let's share life,
Let's be crazy,
Let's be fast,
Let's be slow,
Let's be forever,
Let's be a show,
Let's be the ground,
Let's be the nothing,
Let's be hole,
Let's be the stuffing,
Let's be a team,
Let's be together,
Let's be supportive,
In any weather.
Let's be happy,
we found each other,

Don't cry because it's mortal,
Smile because it had the luck to be.

Let's be the dirt,
Let's be ****,
Let's be a thousand
more days of luck.
Let's be Juillet and Roméo,
Let's be two strangers in the know,
Let's be an ******,
Let's be my dream,
Let's be The light
that can't be seen,
Let's be that thing
you never touch
Let's be the Light that can't be seen
but that you see,
Let's be that thing you can never touch
but that you touch,
Let's be a walkie talkie,
Let's be one,
Let's be a story,
Let's be sung,
Let's be boring,
Let's be numb,
Let's be worried,
Let's be hung,
Let's be something,
Let's be almost nothing
but still something,
(where already that)
Let's be Sumner,
Let's be winter,
Let's be all ages together,
Let's be lucid,
Let's be wise,
Let's be my sister just came back home really sad from failing her exam and It sort of bring me back from reality. One where you have to sign bills and dreams break in pieces. So now I have to get back in the mood of writing this without failing the general idea. I just reread the whole thing and it seems stupid.
Let's be synchronised,
Let's be doubtful,
Let's be sad,
Let's be mad,
Let's be alive,
Let's have a dream
I'm just realising the only reason I'm feeling good is that I have a dream you.
Let's break the boredom,
Let's melt the chains
and make our own
Let's build
Let's break,
Let's gjxzl
djzksls
cjxjs
coco
eosoc
ekdks
cjciwl
vj jzpa
gogo
vic

Long walks under the sun.
Tender brains in unsure men,
A breeze caresses the pines
A rocky ocean shore below
Nothing to do,
Just somewhere to go.

Red shirts, marihuana, alcohol.
Friendship and love
Blossoming through time,
Piercing
The blue sky dressed above
By some superintendent devil's.
For these memories
Act like drugs
On my depressed brain now.

It was long ago,
Yet I'm still here.
That church eating away the
Sunlight, had a christ with no legs
Three years later I understand.
Memories are echos,
We hear them clear
We know deep inside what we
Want to hear
But the shore gets higher
And longer and wide
The sound is now a Cowbell, or a stain,
A dead mouse and
her dry dead remains,
A footstep in sand that left
before I said it could.

Which sunk into the sea,
before I wished it should.

What are we left with
When we feel regret?
I feel
like I've let something go,
Somehow, and what?
How can I know

So I linger here
On my empty bed,
Without any happiness
And blood in my head
Those red shirts popping
everywhere I feel
I am abandonned
Buried away
I shouldn't shouldn't have hurried
I should have stayed.

Yet it's all over,
Those men are gone.
They're out on the ocean
Singing new songs.

When satan is nye
Wild wheat is ****
Human is animal
Friendship is seed

Easy,
easy she just said
goodbye.
Easy
easy and so she
cries.
pull out your heart to me
being alone
ain't
Easy,
Easy
being a lord is
Easy,
you break the
brand old TV.
loose the control
uuuunh
easy.
Crush it your hole
is gaping,
sailing on,
is Easy.
Easy.
Easy.
burn all the sticks to
make a fight
to forget
easy
oh easy
burn all the
text to show
a light
go next.
Easy.

She could be there

Through the zipping window
Down and laid upon
Clouds of sunken sadness
You could walk along.

You imagine her
In a place she's not
That spot is the real
The un-forgot

In the romance
That seaside house
Fish smells, books
The forever new

A room with a view
A nest for two
A friend for you
Forever true

Yet the window keeps
whizzing and you remember
how much always
is a silly word
How perfect is the absurd

But you still imagine
The impossible
Because it's something
It's a photo a snapshot
And in essentia
Something that could be

And you fight those
morning sicknesses
Trying to make it happen
By believing in yourself

Because she/he is worth it
And it could mean the world

no not like usual
this time it feels insane
feelings, heart and guts
inside safe and same

you are a gem
I threw

Pine tree horizon,
stretched to the point of rupture
over the divine cardinal points around
A round world
which's center is me.

Roads I'll maybe walk,
most of which I won't
but the voyage goes on anyway
as long as I have feet.

Nothing this generation gets:
I chased this out of a bad bet,
and found heaven in a net.
We ate the scenery that day
let it drip onto our ***** sleeves
drying in the cold night
the stars,
God they were bright.
It makes me feel alone here in suburbia,
where the buffalo don't roam,
it's impossible to feel so small and so free,
so careless, in this city,
For there is more to Electricity
there's more to useless junk,
there's boy Scouts going
on a real adventure,
their adventure out of their hell
tha smelly parisian cage of pipes,
tubes, teachers and tests.

They get to breave here in Eden,
they see they're missing out,
they cheer the sun all morning,
till the nightime dries him out.
They get to hug the moon,
to face the secret truths under a piece of cloth,
a brown sky tent from which they
feel like they get it:
Men were apes and
they still are
they cannot live inside a jar
and when we breave that honeyed
air, when the smelly brezze rushes through
our clotted hair
we finally get to peek over the mountain,
and love it with
all we got.

I unwrapped the present
it was a you and a little me
the always chatty
the never sad or boring
duo, I loved you
like no-one
and yet I met you on the Internet.
Now I still do
but I feel you're getting bored
you're getting away
do you know there are others
tell me how you feel
next time I ask.
If I ever do.
All time spend my time on computer games
is a bullet in my foot
I want to talk to you
yet my lip is caught in a hook
even this poem ***** but
it's more I need to talk .
I feel like I'm making you suffer
**** ****
****
last time I made you mad
I wanted to die
I felt like a maggot.
because it was really my fault.
So now it's unraveling again I feel.
You sent me messages tonight
I only got them later on,
disappointment
you feel me drag away
I'm am no-one
the never gay
though I seemed to care
I sent the honest goodnight
but it wasn't the crazy
goodnight
it was the same old
same old
and tomorrow I want to love you
like I feel I do
when my mind is focused
when I believe in you.

hurt so deep
because it's so true
she caught in two words
what it's like to be two
strangers on a ship
where the cabins don't meet
and the ship is of wood
not glass like the sky
vibrations shaking the tears
out because the cabin
walls are thick
and you cannot
kick a magic trick

oh honesty
how you hurt a man
how you make him
one by slapping back
his crazy hand

oh love
how complicated
how free

oh you
how perfect how true

oh years
how long and stretched

you ate the truth
than hid it in yourself.

you spat it out
like heavy pearl
in my pleading mouth

and I'm here in the kitchen
having read your *******
text
hoping I had the guts
to make you cry
wanting to kick you
wanting to kiss you

sinking noises.
we need to address this
but not like that
not by hitting the strings
and cutting them with our salt

learning how to play
the satisfying way
without making sad
the one you love
because it's *******
not my fault for these cabin walls
so don't cry
explain with caution
adress the situation

she whispered
"Sinking noises"
and said goodnight.

and I'm wondering if she's right

but in the end
we should help each other
not find ways to
hurt each other

behind the money lies our pain,
into fields fall the rain.
With empty pockets walk the road
a thousand stories left untold.

Anyone there
Things are getting messed up
I saw a girl run, escaping
Only to get purposely hit by a truck
Millions stuck in their feces
Feet so deep down
They grow untamable roots
To feed off the **** in the ground
And then there's me
Stupid pretty innocent fragile me
Eighteen years of fragility
A golden boy of the first world
Born to rule and make it his own
Through three more world wars
Spirit caked with a crud of
Guilt and fear
Mind turned and lavished
By the spear of fear
Which is looking dumb
Which is feeling unattractive
Which is being ugly and sick
Scared no one will ever approach
And touch you without gloves
And a stick.
But we'll run this place,
Sure we will beat the new slaves
Into obediance
Sure we will die rich
Sure our wives will give us kids
Sure our masks will hide our fits
Of terror
Oh the horror
The horror

I made a castle on my own
with sand that you're not supposed
to touch, and help from Friend.
So bad at shaping regular dirt,
here's what it is :
what you dont expect of me.

And thus
Shaped alone,
somewhere in Somewherelese
where nowone could feel me breathe,
not a living thing can smell my bheat,
grew a thing i could not show
because it was Ridiculous.

The people asked to see my secret place
as soon as they saw my strange blue lips.
I was speaking from (not of)
a place that i wasn't ready to ****
Burning by trying to cut a peek.

: Jealousy, or maybe just curiosity
for that lingering perfume that had
now followed me.

They knew they saw The Cave
where i drew that blue tar from,
but they checked and saw they were wrong.
Because they cant even see her,
because shes not even from this island,
and she's a person, not a name ("The Cave").

Now. We are getting to the point.

Oh the pleasure of creating,
the pleasure of sharing existence,
the pleasure of secretness,
of timidity which time blossoms to
die and make place for something
totally different and unrecognizable
from the first formula.
From honey smell
to Honey,
from text to
Voice and Face.
ALL OF THIS IS FOR ME I ONLY WILL FIGURE IT OUT ITS ACTUALLY EVOLVING INTO SOMETHING QUITE HUMANE AND SANE IN TIME I MIGHT MAKE IT INTO SOMETHING WHO THE HELL KNOWS BUT THE MEHER;

.love from existing on another shore.
.a shore that was earned
.a shore that exists in reality
.a shore that has *******, a ****** no hair in bad parts
and is pretty and flat and hilly yet nice for all i can think
of for now.
.a shore that i learned to love only by
listening to it's every waves
. as shore that's also a cave,
a brook, a damp nook (to the grave diggers
and maggot fillers)
. a shore not swhore
. a thing i threw a flag on
(planting isnt what only counts)

up till now everything did fine,
up till now everything is doing fine,

it almost never happened,
im hoping this thing lives
that the shores stays happy
that she thinks of me.