empty kisses
and pointless hugs
had been the symbol
of a dead love

his lips had been
the gun;
his words
were the bullets

it all made sense now
i had been enticed by
his sweet kisses
just like carbon monoxide

sweet but yet odorless.
deadly.

he filled my lungs
with hope,
longing
and belonging

i had been poisoned by deceit.
jealousy.
denial.
lies.

every kiss
was meaningful
as he loved me
except he had a gun
behind his back

everytime he touched me
it was like an ignited flame
except he had
a gasoline tank hidden in the woods

finally it had been his time
to do what he does best,
**** my loving heart.

(b.d.s.)

kiss me
like it was
the last thing
you ever want

kiss me
so hard
you fall in
state of delirium

kiss me
like it was
your dying wish

i am the
artist
of
your
sins

i
am
your
endless
temptation

i
am
your
last
dying
kiss
(b.d.s.)

one match.
kindled
one infatuation

this lit match
was contained
in a jar
in the innermost parts
of my heart

i protected it with
all i had
i trusted you

which was quite sad.

one day
you broke
this fragile jar

that's when it began.

hot sizzling ambers
glow red
as the morning sun

burning intensely
giving off an odorless smoke

see,
my heart
has been now set ablaze for you

its veins produce
a scorching red
liquid
that burns at the thought of you

it does not
only hold liquids
but it holds angst

angst
since you left me
in this fiery blaze

amidst the bright flames
at the bottom
lies coal

coal.
this black ashy substance
fueling the ****** agony

coal.
from the time
you betrayed me.
when deceit seemed
to only be on your tongue of fire
coal.
when you said
our love was like an everlasting cigarette
but instead you gently blew out the light
what a lie.

the blaze rages on
destroying the memories
of what used to be

it regains strength
it heals the soil
gives light to the new

it releases
exorbitant amounts
of catharsis
i feel it

the fire
will never die
with the unfortunate truth
that you were never mine

but the only thing that will be remembered
is how much i had tried

(b.d.s.)

i seem to be a lucid dreamer
at times;
constantly finding you in me

why do i like to dream about
the "could be's"
and the "never was"
as if it brought great joy to me

i seem to be a constant thinker
most times;
i can hardly think straight

through every nerve in my brain
it remembers every memory
of you
with ease

i seem to be a violent lover
all the time;
as if love is my crime

my soul had handcuffed
my heart
cutting every connection
of you

i seem to be nothing at all
i barely remember;
what is like to be loved now

i am a tiny flake
of dust
just breezing through
the depths of your mind

(b.d.s.)

i guess
this might be another poem
about how the mind works...

my mind
is a constant explosion
of fears and doubt

it ticks like a
constant bomb
never knowing
when it will explode

i fear that i
will awake
not knowing who
i am

i doubt
that anyone
would ever
light a fire
to my dying heart

i await
the day
my other half
will take my place

i fear the existence
of not existing
and the death
of a lost poet

where is love?
where is peace?
where am i?

i'm probably dying.
uncertainity exploding at the seams.

(b.d.s.)

i begin to run
from the very thing
that i am

one.

the chase begins
a fight between
mind and body

two.

i suffer the inability to comprehend
the world and myself
my enemy is gaining control

three.

i lose my thoughts
i have lost the ability to
once love

four.

i punch the mirror
of myself
for words scrawled
hold an empty truth

five.

it never been there  all along
it had only been
myself

(b.d.s.)

see,
lies are like a cigarette
you smoke and smoke
till your heart cant take no more
then you are gone

these black sins
ruin me everyday
as i inhale them
eroding me away

they freeze my mind
from what is the truth
like icicles frozen
on a cold winter day

this poisonous inhalation
weakens me
as life
acts as my dealer

suppling me with a lethal dose everyday.

these black secrets
freeze me in a state of denial
for i can only breath the lies
im told everyday

the lies
suffocate me
so i can not inhale the truth
it wages war in my mind

but one day,
i shall asphyxiate out of
this frozen trance
i will inhale

and inhale the truth
i shall blow away
the pained lies

i will be free.

and the cigarette
shall be extinguished
and i may be calm
and free once again

(b.d.s.)

the sleek
cool marble
chills run
down
the stone
delineations
and curvatures
of fine hands
and legs
white and pure

her eyes
blue
a fountain of youth
i wish i could bathe in it
forever

her blank gaze
from vacant
rolling ball
sockets
falls dreamlessly
into the oblivion

tinkles of music
hum and drone
noiselessly
like spoons
clattering to
the unforgiving ground

her cold heart
exposed
as she reclines,
back arched
ever so slightly

she is without
her soul and mind
the marble
her master
keeps her confined-
her own timeless paradigm

when the colours
seem to fade away
nothing feels
ever quite the same

my dear,
you seem to paint galaxies
in many ways
i never knew

you would open
up the night sky
and tell me everything in it
was all mine

you made sparks of white
to light up the whole sky
show the assorted amounts
of stars for me

you loved me like black
loves white,
infinite and never dying

(b.d.s.)

he just knew
when he saw her with her
porcelain skin
he bet her heart
would crack
because it too
was made of porcelain

he touched her hands
they were ice cold
he had gauzed them with the
thickest cotton he could find

he promised her that
he would never let her go
even though she cried
"let me go"

he  accidently fiddled
and little by little
he had let her go

he did this
not because of lack of love
because he had been a man of love
not a man of words

his actions told more.

he had been born of
with weak fingers
but yet had a strong heart
and couldn't let her go

so then when he saw the
girl with the pretty porcelain skin
he promised to never let go

(b.d.s.)

i am a slave to love
it drags me constantly
never letting me go

it eats my soul
disables me
swallows me whole

calms me.

it is so irresistable
i want to resist
i want to leave
but i want it

i am its freak
lock me in its box
tell me you love me
for i am dreadfully lost
(b.d.s.)

i am
hovering between
me and
my body

i cannot think
i cannot dream
unreal is
what i seem

reality is not existent
its just a concept
the insistant resistance
of playful dreaming

i have just barely
made it
slightly touching the ground
drowning in the cushioned air

i must be suffering from
sleep deprivation
or one too many shots
of *****

air
has no gravity
increasing the longevity
of time

time has stopped
it is infinite
hovering slightly above
the current.

the present.

i fall
just as a star falls
euphoria washes
away from my eyes

reality surrounds me
as my breathing
comes to a stand still

(b.d.s.)

do you feel this pain
i know you see me
trying to hide it

i know you see me in my pain
you walk away
everyday
with space between words
that could have been

i wish you would see my pain
and maybe try to kiss it away
like you once did
mend my broken heart

(b.d.s)

pierce my heart
see my lies
there is a pain that i cant deny

rest your blade
between my heart and
my eyes
and so you may see my twisted insides

love that is taken away
is more powerful
than a love that
was gently broken

a brain shattered
by loss
does not help
a weak heart

you ripped the skin
above my forehead
and dripping with blood
you watched as my body shuddered

i begged you to stop
you said no
i asked why?
you said it had been in the name of love

i believed you.

you continued to pierce
this time into my brain
you remain insistant
that all will be better soon

i screamed
and i wailed
from the agony
i could not see

but,
i believed you.

you had one final cut
left to give
you said it was your favourite
and that it would be mine too

you took your wretched blade
and made an incision in my heart
breaking everything that once held
all the memories, all the pain

that was when i stopped believing your lies.

this cut
had been just too agonizing
it cut off the circulation between
mind and body

i could no longer
feel the feelings
that i once did
i missed that

no remorse
no anger
no pain
no love

you had taken away
euphoria chaos
called love
i never could look at anyone
ever the same

that pain
never faltered
even when
you left amongst the shadows

(b.d.s.)

i made love to your poetry
and it made love to me
its words lightly caress
the body that once felt

i made love to your poetry
and it made love to me
its dead verses
filled a body so insensate

i made love to your poetry
and it didnt make love to me
meaningless letters
had only resided

   within the deepest depths
                                      and corners of
                                                             my murky  m  i  n  d  ...
                      ­                                      (b.d.s.)

ticking time
forgotten phrases
clicking pencils
treasured sounds

the ink from my pen
turned the words
I used to express
the infinite love...

...that was for you

I had forgotten what
it feels like
to love someone
the way I do
love you

love is to precious to leave
so alone
when I have a person to love
like you

every smile
is always worth it
every stanza
felt like a cool breath


open the wind
breathe effortlessly
to break
in a calm gentle ecstasy

love me darling
I wish
with all the heartache
you will love me always
(b.d.s.)

you closed my eyes
and lit a cigarette
and put it in my mouth
telling me i was beautiful

you whispered in my ears
and rubbed the cigarette ashes
on my lips
as you loved me harder

my light, you said
had seemed to light up
your whole night
effortlessly and with a passion

it seemed like
darkness did not fight no more
and it loved the light more than anything before

you finally kissed my cheek
and uncovered my eyes
while putting out the cigarette
telling me

how much i am yours.
(b.d.s.)

so you must be another
reader
just about to pass this poem
well, you shouldn't

think about this
to yourself
while i explain
this to you

you, my friend,
are a human being
with a collection
of assorted thoughts

creativity blooms
from your mind
im sure you probably write
some good poetry too

here,you are
reading this poem
probably thinking
that this isnt all that good

but my dear,
you are not just creativity,
you are your experiences
that have occurred in the past
and will occur in the future
you are your relationships
whether they are true love
or heartbreak
you are every poem,
you have ever read
every feeling you have ever
felt
you are your thoughts
your words.
yourself.

you are not your body.
you are made of far bigger than that.
you are your soul

now that i have told
you this
do not
lose touch of who you are

every smile,
every hug,
every kiss,
should be you

every word
every sentence
every laugh
should feel so important

it should represent love.

and love should be you.

(b.d.s.)

sometimes
love is inverted
not all straight up honest and raw
but it is your name it calls

love's inverted ways
guide you like a cool breeze of wind
gently pushing us away from a
stand-still

love is not black and white
it is not forthcoming like so
love is a concept ...
a figment of one's imagination
probably thought up on a lazy
saturday afternoon
or 4:00 am on a monday morning

love hides in unexpected corners
it is now for you to find it
(b.d.s.)

i told your eyes
how much id love them
for its smile shone
like the stars

my shadows told
me i lied
continuously taunting
breaking my aching heart

aching moans
and wildful wails
escaped my corpse

i wanted to tell your eyes
a secret
unlike no other
except
i couldnt

your eyes was my gateway
it was my white lighter
it was the thing that kept me
away from running

my shadows pursue me
telling me not to believe,
not to love

your eyes set my spirit free
left me in a state of euphoria
utter bliss
and casted my shadows away

(b.d.s.)

tears fall
your name i call
gone

frozen in time
wasting away life
heartbroken.

outright cry
strikes at night
lost.

always lost
confused.
anxious.
scared.
lies.

knife
acts like
gasoline , poured on me

cast a match
flip the latch
to the prison cell of lost hearts

murmur my name
before i slain
the wretched beast

whisper into
the dead alleyways
a revival unavoidable

n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ l̶o̶s̶t̶.
c̶o̶n̶f̶u̶s̶e̶d̶
a̶n̶x̶i̶o̶u̶s̶.
s̶c̶a̶r̶e̶d̶.
more deceit.

cold like a
untouched angel
away from the worst danger

i am born again.

purged.
regenerated.
strengthened.
renewed.
rebirth.
­
(b.d.s.)

if you listen carefully
    there is a language
     that lovers only understand

    it is within the stars
        speak in accents
            of love defined*

                                                      (b.d.s.)

the stream
lies ever so calmly
gently rippling with the wind

the wind
echoes and howls
a point of no return

pink beauty,
will you ever
return to me again?

(b.d.s.)

you took me
to a lovely garden
long ago,
and told me i was beautiful

you kissed my hair
just as the sun rose
illuminating
the intensity of our lost love

every inch
every crevice of me
loved you
missed you.

you were my infinite stars
cast on the midnight terrain
you lit up the world
just for me

a sweet scent of lavender
permeated through the garden
you said
it was the thousands of lilacs
blooming for me

you kissed my hair
leaving behind
a sweet scent
to caress me

(b.d.s.)

let me love you
i want to love you
im breaking right now
but you never see

its overwhelming me
i dont know how much i can take
my heart cant go on

what have i done wrong?
where did things go for the worse?
my heart is bleeding
it is aching for you

let me love you
till it hurts ..
i want  you to
let me love you
i want us to be satisfied

lets be infinitely forever.

(b.d.s)

her mind
wove assorted ornaments
          of vivid hues

each stitch
      an alternate reality
a story she wished she knew

her view,
a distant spectacle--
a casual onlooker
upon the lovely scene

emotions spin
      making its own ball of yarn
a tight knot forms

she is
her own
great nightmare

distorted reflections
grimace in horror
                her own doing

a black sea
bubbles and gurgles
liquifying sensual sins

beauty hides
the facade
         of her own madness

(b.d.s.)

i am lost
lost in thought
am i lost

where am i
i am where
am i where

paralyzed by eunoia
lost in dreams
please help me find what i mean

(b.d.s)

the secrecy
of your destiny
rests in me

i cannot resist it
your broken catharsis
your truth
where is it

secret lover
my name
the last name
you uttered sorrowfully

i had been
a delicate flower
who was withering
within the hour

mended hearts
joint to be one
just like our love
once was

(b.d.s.)

the oxygen i breathe
is the oxygen i use
to drop to my
eternal death

oxygen
what a lifeless substance.
a substance of nothing
always

oxygen is the fullness of
nothing
the depth of
death- the power of whole

it is the chemical reaction
where
good meets bad,
broken meets free,
holy meets unholy,
and love meets hate

love is like
the beautiful piece
of nothing
that we inhale everyday

inhale.
i just met you.
inhale.
i've just begun to love you in ways
i thought were never possible
inhale
the everlasting memories: the good and the bad
inhale
regret begins to mix with sorrows- making a deadly morphine
i inhale
and then,
i
fall
and
die


i don't know where you are
or where you have come from
i've only known the start
of a love
so beautiful
(b.d.s.)