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Apr 19 · 60
on purpose
David Bojay Apr 19
Skewed vision when I followed the cynosure//
Beam balancing
Can’t hold my own sometimes//
Made up characters to separate my thoughts from “myself”//
Split my cares in eights//
Off with the indecision//
Fall asleep as soon as the tears hit the pillow//
Head up, delusional//
Unparagoned//
So I think
Perception shields the egomaniac residing in me//
I make it seem as if so, but really with my intentions, I’ll never know how things will play out//
Misterpretating will be my end//
With no one to truly seek, I play with the inconsistencies.... so what about guilt?//
My character doesn’t mind the idiosyncrasies I portray... I do it for the show
Merging with the relentless and the glorious
It ***** to be Sweet, bittersweet//
Apr 19 · 131
through it all
David Bojay Apr 19
Waking up in valorous conduct/
aware of my impetuous commitments/
I long for awakenings when my eyes seem to be open/
Misinterpreting a reality I can’t untangle/
Trying to bring about the moments that brought me most happiness by force/
Valiant to go against my deepest rejections/
Alone in the moments we belong together in/
To think my art was stymied by your love/
Selfish me, couldn’t see it took a selfless “Sweet” to redeem our forever ever after/
         (Interruptions from the tip of my ego)
(Getting the best of my fragility, I’m not tough)
In shambles after processing what once was, actually was/
Questioning the will my mental grip strength had during changes I never wanted to face/
Your love, like pummeling fists dodged my ignorance/
Careless and regretful, the silence is filled with what “was”/
Ashamed, but perhaps a benison in development.... through the pain/
Dec 2019 · 125
In between
David Bojay Dec 2019
Practice “my” traits
Allow the knowledge to flow
I make my food
Servings of protein
Driving alone
Up and about to nowhere
My days seem endless
Distant in my room
Awaken when I see myself perform my life
But is life everything and everyone if we’re all reflections of ourselves

Performing this experience in the now... we are the crowd and dancers

I am you
But my thoughts conquer and the surface is all I see
My ego doesn’t understand
I want to love it so that it shrinks

I’m full from my meal
I miss Sabrina, my dear friend
I’m on this journey, and you’re still in it too somehow
Beauty is when the mind ends
When you just are with what’s infront of you

Cultivating in this state of loneliness

Collecting information
Input
Output
I don’t want to work tonight
The people will dance to the music
I’ll dance to our lives
But still playing my role
Shake my head right
Security
Whatever

Everything is happening in one moment
Sometimes it’s
:/
Sometimes it’s
:)
You know
Either or... it still is... “is”

When it all collapses, your spine tingles
I love my family
I love myself more these days, but it’s hard
My thoughts fall into the processors
Some seem to be “important”
I’m practicing my life
I’m experiencing it all in one
In one breath
I shift in and out
But it’s always there
Either way, I cherish the emotions
The downfalls
The glory moments

I come back to myself
I come to back to all
Behind the curtains
Behind the show
Behind the producers
Behind the mind
Underneath it all
In peace
Dancing in the stillness of it all
So much to think
They come and go
But some are part of me, they are stitched into my mind
I’m going to drink some coffee
This one is everywhere
But inside me
“Meeeee”
I miss myself sometimes
But I’m wrong to
This is fresh
I’m getting used to the handles of this acceptance
A follicle in an ocean
Vessels of ideas walking the earth, ******* each other
Dec 2019 · 176
mañanita tan cruel
David Bojay Dec 2019
Out of place
Out of lane
Life in vain
Observe the pain
Regain my “self” to seek a “self”
Loss of love, lots of doubt
Gain some love, bend some time
Act so cool, create visual ***
Generate from the nothingness
Feel some type of way
There’s no way I can regret
Why should I think about something that’s dead?
I didn’t plan on walking the stage
I do it for my mom, I do it for my dad
And the people that’ll meet
I’m grateful for the insights, I’m lonesome without the help
Some of the most random situations pull me out of hell
This character will lose his mind one day, if there was actually a mind to actualize
It doesn’t hurt to leave
Leaving behind what’s not meant to be
But how do we know without any effort?
It’s the morning
I hope to see you soon
3 weeks ago, I couldn’t look at myself for more than 10 seconds
But I live in a world full of reflection
I don’t sense myself looking at the mirror
Formless forms
I’m ******* myself with unreasonable neglect
My goatee is thick this morning
I’m about to use one of my moms new razors
There’s all and not much to talk about
It sounds crazier when we speak it though
The simplicity of the complex
The complexity of the simplicity
I’ve been sitting on this toilet for too long
Goodmorning world
It’s about the approach
Ugh
7:58am
Dec 2019 · 87
current(s)
David Bojay Dec 2019
the time shall come
when the birds hover over the fields I'm buried in
and every metal I've known is rusted
who knows about the next generation
we're already saying it's too late
for whatever it can be, there's only a now to correct
my will to prosper in the dark ages brings me to the absolute
eternally in a moment processed to live

my morning has been warm
we've seen the sun arise in the earliest of the morning every time you've spent the night
it's only been two nights, but I'm well into patterns

a moment so precise, a love that breaks the ice
I turned over and watched you sleep for inspiration
Sensations passing and arising
Find myself dying when I give surrender to my passion
For my sense of self, there’s no place in heaven or hell
everything is happening so fast these days
Losing feelings to create new ones
When do the cycles end?
I problem to face, a dent in time filled my plate
A new approach to things that are usually too late to appreciate
Everything that’s right infront of me
David Bojay Nov 2019
what happened to reason?/
gone with the wind with every changing season/
the seconds between you realize that moment at ease/
finding my way but I've lose the keys/
deep in the sea, deep in the sea/
is it comfort I seek?/
to break through illusions I create?/
am I just teasing my mind with ideas that easily leave?/
the overlapping conversations between my sensations fill the paper/
they fill the spaces of silence
they might even satisfy the eye/
interactivity in the process
no thought can linger for so long,  a vessel in disguise/
perhaps I'm just a lie, at peace with what I don't like... what happened to reason?/
a reason for this, a reason for that
a reason to fight/
but all that I don't like.... requires judgement/
a thought follows, but I don't/
too many mistakes have been made under this light/
a war to be settled with the untouchable, with a mirror/
there was never a reason to retaliate with my angels and my demons/
Nov 2019 · 79
nov20
David Bojay Nov 2019
with or without me/
the world will keep change remarkably/
the leaves will sprout and grow into trees gracefully/
And some ******* will later saw it off to build new offices for future graduates that care about the environment when it’s too late/
it’s the pain and joy that bring me closer to life/
it’s experience that separates hope from the all knowing/
you’ll love again/
I’ll sit in my dreadful misery for that time being/
there’s indignity in my temperament/
only you can see through the masks I portray for the mindful and mindless/
the conceptions they throw at me to identify my mannerisms just make me laugh/
Because everything is on purpose/
Played out before I lay it out/
Understand the roles before I play the part/
There’s “freedom” for artists in this world
Inside the heart of imagination that never stops beating/
Sep 2019 · 68
patterns to serve
David Bojay Sep 2019
what happened to reason?//
gone with the wind with every changing season//
the seconds between you realize that moment at ease//
finding my way but I've lose the keys//
deep in the sea, there's no surface to see//
is it comfort I seek? //
am I just teasing my mind with ideas that easily flee//
the overlapping conversations between my sensations fill the paper//
they fill the spaces of silence//
they might even satisfy the eye//
interactivity in the process//
no thought can linger for so long, a vessel in disguise//
perhaps I'm just a lie, at peace with what I don't like... what happened to reason?//
a reason for this, a reason for that//
a reason to fight//
but all that I don't like.... requires judgement//
a thought follows, but I can't//
too many mistakes have been made under this light//
a war to be settled with the untouchable, with a mirror//
there was never a reason to retaliate//
Aug 2019 · 99
mistaken
David Bojay Aug 2019
Temporary truth
Something to hold on to
No offense to you
It’s just the unpaid dues
That leave me without a clue
What’s new?
A view oh so blue
What’s new?
Feeling old way too soon
What’s new?
Feelings I already knew about when it seems so new

Still into you
Still stuck in two

Feelings I never outgrew
David Bojay Aug 2019
Laid up beneath my eyes
Knots that can’t be untied
**** ups that make us wise
I lose and I win, it’s implied in the balance I used to deny
It’s written in ink
A past to revise
A moment to edit
So that intention is justified

My essence in disguise
Some efforts to stabilize
Nothing to really symbolize
Abiding the opposite of a lie

A simple truth I cannot tell
An idea I cannot sell

To simply be
Awareness can swell
who is my bestfriend
Aug 2019 · 110
mañanita
David Bojay Aug 2019
the distance we've made
when the cards were played

with nothing to be said
and time to be paid
I can only love an option of higher grade for  the sake of me
for the sake of my ***** ******* mind
who knows of it's treacheries

how many people still waiting for me to decide whether or not I really love her or not

it only amounts to nothing
delicate to the stumbles we take
down the sewer with the rest when I fail a couple "are we still "there"? tests


in my arms
out my arms


the only person you can truly be isn't what you see in me

but what you see in everyone



I just think ******* be *****

really *****

I just be sidetracked from a temporary truth
May 2019 · 123
collapsing
David Bojay May 2019
there's nothing to worry about

no images on the screen to mind

realizations before mindless

dissolution

collapsing of all that's around me, including my "self"

no moments to be thought of

no future to await

practicing letting go

noticing a thought

peeling the layers


experiencing the core of it all


this

formless
May 2019 · 138
currents
David Bojay May 2019
the clouds have moved

the sun is strong

my love for you continues on

changes made

let it marinate

contemplating less as of late

waking up next to you is great

and my words are limited

like life in creek for a little fishy
Apr 2019 · 95
a point in time
David Bojay Apr 2019
little to know
So much to assume
(You know what happens when that goes down)
Reflecting out the hues of blue
Embodied by the mental constructs coming out my ******* tube of lubed up thoughts I chose to pursue
with nothing to lose
So much to do
With no point
But a check mark in my list of “to do’s”
thoughts of you
I wish you weren’t so cute
Drowning in brews
Walking with no clue
When I finally know
I’ll remain aware of the cues
Facing a doom
A “SELF” to understand and diminish in the fleeing moments only awareness captures
The knowing essence

nothing to lose

With a mind glued to views untrue to me and you

when every moment is ANEW
awareness
Apr 2019 · 136
shadowZ
David Bojay Apr 2019
indulging in something yet to come
wasting “time”
even if it doesn’t exist
it’s so persistent
barriers “I” can’t scale
like water through the cracks
Like the atoms intertwined in everything
the storm has settled
there’s stories to tell
Fragments to share
Bring it into existence without any hope
Art isn’t meant for you to cope
Apr 2019 · 100
like a tool
David Bojay Apr 2019
mr
maybe used and abused//
in tune with my groove//
you came about and got me *******//
I realize the feeling so blue//
to partake in it I don’t have a clue//
something senseless, without pleasant hues//
dude//
rude//
tell my why did you come through//
and slow me down like chopped and *******//
what’s there to do//
continue the love we pretend we don’t want to pursue//
I’m just a fool, a tool//
One that you can just use//
if I hurt you, you hurt me too//
tear me from the roots//
at least know I’ll know there’s nothing to do// but overload on brews and dismiss what there is to assume//
I’m just a lonely dude//
Paying dues//
with something in mind but nothing to really do//
Mar 2019 · 63
cambio
David Bojay Mar 2019
if you asked me how I was
too much to discuss
change
**** I can't trust
myself until I rust
no need to rush
it comes
layers of colors you can't see
but "feel"
only to know, there's something else
beyond a thought
something to experience
underneath the tension, the ease
underneath my mentions, girls I can't please
beyond my comprehension, a girl that broke me into ******* pieces
Mar 2019 · 212
unfortunately
David Bojay Mar 2019
my youth
            ending very soon
sinking in my head

  seeing through a tube

(let go)

with nothing to lose
your soul
beaten and bruised
you wander with no clue

I examine all your shades of hue
you
see me as a fool
but darling of HIS, I'm just way too cool
Mar 2019 · 217
hey
David Bojay Mar 2019
hey
long day
lost in your haze
dazed
without the blaze

falling, I should've tied my laces
balling, I should've watched the days go by
stuck between the essays and my different ways
nothing to praise but a mind that's a maze

serve your two cents on my dinner plate
David Bojay Mar 2019
sitting
breathing
in the stillness
processing
the madness and happiness
recollecting what I didn't expect
people to reflect and thoughts to brush away

here and now

fuckkgrwkhnsjnjlSDGS dgF
ADOS
,a
saa
so much of so much
they come and they go
I just



do my best
Mar 2019 · 104
sum morning
David Bojay Mar 2019
5:33
my attempt to sleep
wandering in the deep
blue see where I weep
speculation from beneath

instances to approach
heat of the moment
like fingers on a stove
until the end like I’m holding a roach
burning until it’s something I loathe



nobody completes you but it sure did “feel” that way
Ways around the mind to see through the lenses

waking up from dreams I thought I’d never wake up from
new beginnings to become
someone who overcomes the struggles instead of feeling glum
Dumb
Dude... rather skim through what’s really worth with the bottom of my thumb


(irememberthedayuleftlikeitwasyesterdayonlytodayiacceptitalitt­lemorethough)
Mar 2019 · 72
don’t u see
David Bojay Mar 2019
where do i go/
what do I know/
tension sizzles, even in the snow/
bottom of the pit/
I express it with the synths/
or in writtens that I think/
(I'll leave when I finish my ******* drink)/
I cant talk to you so I write it down in ink/
(is this really all in sync, my perception of reality down the sink)/
some conceptions I can't link/
(out and about, my gar do carry stink)/
the music keeps playing/
In a loop where the soul seems to be decaying/
my way out is said without saying/
bathing in the what if’s I forgot to regret/
in the end, no time to sever/
all in one, an experience at my favor/
live and learn, apply my mind after the awareness lessens the subtle trouble deep within what makes my soul quaver/
my dear, all that may be clear, may appear to be something sincere/
(no fear, the impact is severe, it’s ok to be a little queer)
Feb 2019 · 85
hey again
David Bojay Feb 2019
(she was an artist)

      painted my happiness with her lips

how did you survive the hell I gave you?


       why did I in the first place?


:/ :/ :/ sjkaosjalakaj

Haha

so
Sorry.... u know

I am so proud of you

And man.... looking through boxes filled with the things you gave me

Brought me to tears.... I smiled and only knew that I only want you to be happy

(looking back I laugh at my acts that lacked a love I knew in fact)



wasn’t aware of the unconscious activity being portrayed

until the end it hits

hit me like a blitz

it’s you
the only person I’ll ever miss

but I know.... the acceptance takes time to settle

on to a generated change

one I can’t complain about

something to learn from

something to hold on to

but letting go of the idea of being together


you are not an idea

lovely manifestation

You came at me from everywhere

but I ended up taking us nowhere you wanted

The results are being lived

But I’m focused

Aware








Sabrina




I love you
Feb 2019 · 679
fucking
David Bojay Feb 2019
Sabrina and ****
On my mind
Reading through old convos
Awww
Sweet girl
Your insight inspired me
These tears
Of joy
I only want you to be happy
I’m happy knowing you did what you had to do
For you
Not for me
For you
I love you so much
Always
Will always love you
Simple times
It’s passing like the dart on a summer day it was our time and you weren’t meant to stay

I guess though bro and ****...
But u know
I be here
Just here
Ready to take on anything

Want to hear your voice, but I’m patient
Even if I never get to hear it again
I’m patient

dear human
It was more than a relationship

But I mean
It’s always too late

And to easy to regret

In hopes of nothing but a greater now

So much... inside to express
In different ways
If was a connection
Feb 2019 · 386
mornin' hues
David Bojay Feb 2019
How did I get this far?
Distorted vision
Collision for some sense
Love that I didn’t remember when I slept
Could’ve forgotten the tears that been wept
Regret to be swept
Socially inept when I ponder about my end

man in the mirror
who else can I depend on?

wipe the thoughts from my mind to "be" a little clearer

once upon
a time
rewind
no lexicon

to describe

my love beyond the stars up above

                         para ti

out and about with no doubt in my steps
out to test the handles to manifest
                                   (ideasoutthefuckingdomeandIsaythatwithmychest)

excuse the ego, it's probably best


(sometimes I feel like I'm living like I'm holding on to the weakest set of limbs)



when the chances are thin, nothing to limn


reach within your inner vim







sitting here before work

10:31 am

I go in at 11


haven't gotten dressed yet

drinking coffee

listening to music

about to get my **** in


tonight I might get some ***** in


but recently the tears make me feel like I'm



losing.....


but that's just.... overthinking



what am I thinking?


I need to get ready for dat werk werk

racetrac clerk clerk


putting in that fookin werk werk


crazy **** ****

dunk my nuts on your face like I'm dirk dirk

okay I'm going to get ready




                 now

mu...




ah
Feb 2019 · 65
before i get into it
David Bojay Feb 2019
flying by busy school weeks
periods of stress
overthinking my time to make things
just sit and do
nothing else
my phone rings for plans but I'm here
typing **** up
learning chords
a vision that never gets bored
Feb 2019 · 234
10:52
David Bojay Feb 2019
Try to stay away
Silence I can’t remain
Forget the language we created
The moments ever lasted
When you cross my mind, why don’t you say hi?
Carry on
Even in the cold
Head held bold
Even buried under a million stones
I shall shine through the cracks
Daily tunes
Tormenting blues
(Lots to feel) Covered in different shades of hue
But only feel blue
Feb 2019 · 227
untld
David Bojay Feb 2019
a sirenic void
entrance to detachment

what is there to replace?
when all there is has always been

out the bin with regrettable sin
the walls of boundaries are thin

when all comes to an end
where the **** do I begin?

sashayed into a doom
the corner of my room

a lesson learned with grace
a healthy bitter taste


******* ****


my time I cannot waste
I put the flower on a pedestal and not a vase


sometimes wasted times wasted feeling numb below my waist

copy paste erase **** I rather not face

what's the point?
Feb 2019 · 186
1:32enlamañana
David Bojay Feb 2019
end of story before the peak is boring

hanging like a broken door hinge

(when it flows, the show goes)

tell the thoughts to go
Initiate the change beneath the snow

carry my lust in a garbage bag
keep my composure when my feet bleed

back straight, to open up my lungs
hands up, twisted tendencies

in a space where thoughts go down the drain
those that make me go
I
   N
S
      A
N
           E

some **** I can’t contain that’s why I jot it like I’m writing out my pains

the limitations of my brain

the knowing that **** just isn’t the ******* same

the change being experienced to let the **** I can’t retain simply be

I should sleep soon
I have class at 8am

Listening to New Beginnings by Part Time
Probably my favorite band haha
I’ll

See you later
eehe
Jan 2019 · 147
8:47 tuffie
David Bojay Jan 2019
lonelier than ever
get by being clever
patient with the wait....the wounds to sever

Look the other way

listening to your cover of city of stars

the vibrations of your voice
something I always paid attention to

the show goes on but this is a reflection I can’t deny

A truth in thought

In mind

To know it’s not really there

To be self aware

To know that the realization is a step

To know that this moment
Is all that’s ever promised
Jan 2019 · 1.8k
before dinner (patience)
David Bojay Jan 2019
Talking to my GoPro as if it were you
Current truths
Diminish the whirling blues
inside my head where you don’t have a clue

out the zoo with my emotions
In the beginning eased it with some sleep
Because I couldn’t see the reasons for my grief
Out the shadows and the light is brief
What to think?
What to know?

The tension is rigorous
Kept inside a pin
Let it sit and sizzle until it’s smoke

Open the vents, and let it go

To seize a chance for peace
Dismantle the layers of myself
Find you in a strip
A memory I’ll always love
My love just don’t lose grip

But to love is to see you free
A peak I couldn’t see
Relief indeed
Let it bleed
Let it bleed

Let it bleed

Consume the dooms
Swallow the distrust
The other side of the moon

The ending will come soon

Sitting in my room

About to make some chicken....
Jan 2019 · 141
Untitled
David Bojay Jan 2019
when it all makes sense
the hunch that leads you to a conclusion
that I had a right to think the way I did
Because the end is clear
and whatever I worried about when I broke, became the truth
and now I’m no longer in the picture
your picture
your experience


but why does it matter right now?
stuck in thought, writing them down and deconstructing the meaning of all it ever was or will be


you are doing you

and so am I

whatever makes you happy

in the end

All is clear

Bad or good

The end is clear

plenty endings sum up a conclusion with an ending as well

and when we die

It’ll be clear
We are always in the middle of something
Jan 2019 · 138
Jan 20....11:11pm
David Bojay Jan 2019
walking down the bars
the lights seem brighter
my laugh echoes in my head
the voices of arrogance seem to vanish
the dust tickles the insides of my nose
my ears are warm
***** is having a lovely time
He’s loose
arms are flowing
Legs are everywhere

And then we go to jail for 12 hours

I’m glad I’m here in my bed right now

Whatever goes on, goes like a wheel going 120 miles per hour
I’m just a dip in the road
It keeps going even if I’m the factor

The only one...

Also just watched Black Mirror for a bit....the memories aren’t worth a reaction in the present moment

But it makes sense....

It’s been a long day

**** jail

But everything is worth experiencing
Jan 2019 · 265
1 diez y siete
David Bojay Jan 2019
somewhere in between a second ago and my next step
something that doesn't need to let go because there's nothing to let go of
only to understand

layers we can't fully experience, but know

simply having trust in the dissolution of thought


(but sometimes I see your face in my head for 3 seconds and it brings me to a state of distraught)


no palladium for me
a free being, same as the energy that flows with the leaves
no conversations regarding what a nuisance I was with no decency

that was then

and change is now, every millisecond

how could we possibly
p     re

ten
d.

??? (!!)
11:17pm
Jan 2019 · 263
no sense
David Bojay Jan 2019
days passing into brand new lights
seeking the days that can’t replaced
Taking out the damage that was laced
Swimming but in a stagnant position

walking out of class to meditate
Thoughts to sedate
Set a date
My death
Serve it on your dinner plate

What’s your reason?
Said that ***** was mine that day you left
I just laugh at how it all came together to destruct
How do we attain certainty in what we say?

Clouds will move away but still the sky remains
Jan 2019 · 716
coffee at 2pm
David Bojay Jan 2019
trying harder than ever

keep it moving

let it flow through your will

from "when should I stop?"

to "why should I stop?"

the changing seasons go well with the way things are inside of us as well....

weirdly....sadly...happily...

it's cold out...

warming up with radiating love that's covered by my subconscious

let them be.... so that they can disassemble when you pay attention to the thoughts that make you overthink everything

conclusions in my head that didn't make sense, far from me

"me"

so it seems to be...


when will we all just laugh?

pretend we never lacked all we ever did


reflect to accept all that's been affected


in debt with the **** that makes me go in depth with a doubt that don't exist


call it quits

to be free from all that "exist"
Jan 2019 · 347
lol
David Bojay Jan 2019
lol
long days are becoming more comfortable

things to do

away.... selfish me
let her be
no one to please
enlightenment to seek
dissolution of thought

seeing through the fissures

visiting the empty creeks

totsiens boo
Jan 2019 · 161
ease
David Bojay Jan 2019
staggering memory

catch a thought to avoid the misery

asmr videos to sleep in tranquility

losing my sense of self

(not all that bad)

inflicted abilities

to see beyond the people that leave

accepting for the ease

aware of the problems and successes that I must seize
Jan 2019 · 179
yellow days to come
David Bojay Jan 2019
what's to replicate?
a feeling I can't forget?

along with trembling thoughts passing through
moments in my blues

with nothing to lose
there's everything to risk

no one beside me on this cruise
no one to take inside of my Louvre

meaning in some coordinates

a place I can't climb out of

adaption to create something in the current situation I'm in

elevating in time

touch the ground in the moment

here like I was before

Like I always will be
Jan 2019 · 176
3:11 8thday
David Bojay Jan 2019
Now I know//
to move on from what it all used to mean//
the change of mind was a sudden switch of scenes//
never told me what I was, a narcissist that couldn’t see//
ever told you how I felt? there was nothing in between//

no matter what you do//
no matter what I do//
can’t forget about us two//
will stand up and yell the truth//
the only one in view//
but one I cannot reach//
I just sit and think in blue//
thoughts I can’t pursue//
they only make me feel bad for all the **** I *******//

the end of our romance//
periods of time to enhance//
I gave “me” a second chance//
Jan 2019 · 90
fucking a m8
David Bojay Jan 2019
Can’t rely on what I was

To you
To them

When you become aware of tendencies you have
The research can make you doubtful of who you really are
But these are just obstacles
Periods
I know now

I want to thank Sabrina for making me realize it
Endless proof that I was a narcissist, atleast for that period in my life

It’s over
It all has to end
I can only say sorry
Jan 2019 · 84
realize
David Bojay Jan 2019
Own up to what’s been

Forgive the sins that made the day a dim place in the distance

Princess to a reference, I just play with what could be

Persevere through the steers

Find beauty in the tears

Time passes and all that matters is here

Eyes pealed
Lips sealed
Disregarding my feels
What’s really real?
In the moment I heal

Finally

But whatever.... endeavors flowing out the river

Understood the way I was

Narcissistic

Reading on how to be “that” guy

To realize something that was detrimental to my relationships

My ******* tendencies

To realize you’ve only seen glimpses of me.... pardon my “self”
Jan 2019 · 202
yoikes
David Bojay Jan 2019
The pain won’t stay
So long
See you in May
Just not today, myself to betray
Lose myself indulging in what’s not spoken
Losing grip of the entirety of this moment
The only regrets I have are the ones that make her upset
is this a phase
false love to praise?
am i insane?
insecurities i can't restrain
is this a test?
one I can't retake?
is this a game?
one I cannot play?
when will it pay?
in debt til I decay
what should I say?
it's wrong to hate
the obvious is said
complications in my head
resulting in my death
it's life or lead
but what's to complain at the end when I wake up in a bed
Jan 2019 · 80
post gym
David Bojay Jan 2019
There is no hope in the “fixations”
This moment is eternal
The “problems” vanish when there is no future or past
The filter limits my mind
How many ways are there to get to the other side of the madness derived from perceptions

When I don’t care
Would it be fair?


My eyes can’t be everywhere
Neither can my mind

Here and aware
Not there
No control
Beyond the lenses that filter

The nonexistent past and future bother my mind sometimes
Jan 2019 · 317
1219
David Bojay Jan 2019
(hard to love myself when I found myself in you)

Wondering if I’ll go to hell
In my thoughts will I dwell

A beginning
Empty

been trying to sleep since 8:50
a productive day

morning jams
afternoon workout

40 minutes of jumping rope
Thank you Rupert Spira

But I’m here again, crying and the reason is a thought that I let consume my days

loneliness

I miss her

Moments of awesomeness

Moments of overwhelming sadness

The days will go by

I’ll talk to you whenever

Could be tomorrow

Keeping busy

This change is one of a kind

One that makes me want to erase my mind

Start anew

But we can only go forward from here
Jan 2019 · 205
1/1/19
David Bojay Jan 2019
Lullaby playing
I can only think things I shouldn't be saying
Like the loss of you that is driving me insane
Alone in the room that was meant for me and you
Never been so distanced from the truth
It was you, the one that made it seem like this experience was eternal youth

(troubled, will you be back soon?)

.....it's this moment that I wish I was immune from this doom that said I couldn't make it past the afternoon

I'm here now

1:30 pm.... a little bit passed afternoon
Dec 2018 · 123
good note
David Bojay Dec 2018
yes, it ends
and i won't pretend that this seems like my end as well
love letters to send
in each other we can't depend
the time was well spent

and our lives we still have to attend no matter what trends suspend what we truly are
this love can't be torn apart

positive start

end the night with a ****
Dec 2018 · 119
at work.. broken but aware
David Bojay Dec 2018
love I can't deny

letting go of what was "mine"

hopeless cries to a spirit in a sky that doesn't reply

let "it" go by

**** this time in my life

but I must live and experience before I  die
Dec 2018 · 211
Sabrina
David Bojay Dec 2018
Kiss....me one more time
And maybe once again
And after that once more
Maybe then you’ll say
And I’ll finally behave
Man I never knew
that one day I’ll be begging you to stay
Wish you believed me when I said
That I’ll never be the same
I guess I have to accept this change
And go a little bit insane
It’s okay my dear
You did what you had to do
Either way I’ll wait for you
Even though it was me
That caused this entire mess
I will never forget
Who you were and what we did
Because all that’s said and done
Taught me to simply be
Even though it’s hard
to live through this pain
Must remain aware
of the **** that makes me dare
to end it like I never cared
Dec 2018 · 172
goodbye my love
David Bojay Dec 2018
farewell
I’m hoping this ends well
and starts anew
it is you
the one I see in all my views

so much has been learned

experience was earned

now is all we know

I understand when you say you don’t see anything in the future

we can’t dwell in the unknown

and we shouldn’t decide based on experiences from the past even if it makes sense

Easy for me to say I guess

“this pain will last”, I say

the thought lingers inside my brain

but I know I’m openness

the dissolution of a mask


I love you so much
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