lost in mysterious shades no aid to what I have played (myself) falling into an illusion the pursuit of love there's no need to desire if it's all around yet, I'm alone in bed wanting to hold someone to sleep the memories are deep I question what I truly seek practicing everyday to communicate feelings art is the result expression through mediums I've always known.. this is what I would do there's no room for people like me, so I'll remain in solitude (i have so many new posters to hang up) my week has been weird, I sleep a lot these days... it's not that I want to... I wake up and lay... think... long for her... my eyes slowly begin to close until... IT'S ******* 1 PM AND I THINK TO MYSELF... I COULD'VE BEEN DOING ****... (I reason with myself..."you do work from 10 to 3am...every night of the week) I'm not used to my schedule growing up after college kind of *****... where I want to be will take some work (mostly financially) a stable job... my own place... solitude... good ****... soon.. I hope I've been doing my best to overcome yesterdays "self" even though I know ultimately there is no "self" little day by day accomplishments drives the human let me be human with inconsistent reasoning and carelessnes... I'll learn from it ... and also be nothing.. at the same time? isn't it all the same anyway, it's 4:39 am and I always wonder why I'm so drawn to specifying the time in some of my poems it's not that deep... I promise maybe I should be the first person to introduce cubist poetry?? could that be a thing?? just write about different times in my life in a "poetic manner" and jumping to when I was 10 years old busting my first nut the internet was weird for me those days soccer compilation vids of my idols and **** (writer later on becomes a monster and commits suicide) (in my dreams) anyway these days... I feel alive, I was talking to this girl but I know... it won't work time requires some entertainment and I'm just... a ******* when it comes to feeling something for someone other than who I'd want to... start a family with... I know right those hopes have evaporated into nothingness and I'm here... I'm capable different people make me realize different things about myself that's why I choose to expose myself... their way of being changes when I let them know... it's okay to be, no pressure no ego we're just a **** load of atoms... communicating (I don't want to believe in anything) I want to learn so many instruments stringed percussion **** I'm on a good track.... I believe I wan't to write my parents symphonies and the girl I miss... I always comeback to that thinking about what to type live for my wrongs to make them right go through the dark to get to the light fear no repercussions, out of perspective sight I feel like I've gone off track it's been a long day I can't wait to wake up tomorrow I might go get some kolaches later... my spot opens in 4 minutes should.. I leave now??? mm.... I'll give it 30 minutes after I post this I may lay down and fall asleep though I never have the desire to eat in the morning gives me more time to plan what I'm going to stuff my face in later on intermittent fasting bro I hear you can sell your art via crypto currency...I've also made research about how it's bad for the environment??? weird... but I want to give the future generations more time to solve modern day dilemmas... like that **** it'd be dumb if I fell asleep mid sentence and my computer died... I'm actually pretty tired... I closed my eyes for 10 seconds and thought 30 minutes had gone by... I'm... hungry though (lol) I think I will go out for those kolaches after ******* all (as my eyes close slowly) I'm here... awake...listening to Polyphia getting hype this solo how the ****?? my days are numbered so are yours we will all vanish... every word people say about us after we're gone means nothing but will be missed somehow I'm going to end it here the poem hahaha I have... a lot to live for finally
The lord is probably Ashamed of me as son Because I’m part of the **** That walks his earth Filling my lungs with a toxic smoke Drowning my liver with a deadly elixir Can’t go a day With out a fix I have 99 bars And none of them Are going to get spit So I popped them all with Molly And overdosed to the sirens
Test **** them How dare you tell me I'm smart because I got an A Im smart because I learned the material I'm smart because I raised my hand I'm SMART because I know **** that other kids don't know What do I know Not taxes Not mathematics Not English Not grammar Punctuation isn't a thing when you Have to figure out LIFE But is it life Isn't a thing if you don't have A diploma So what am I doing Nothing I'm not smart I'm conforming To a life That only answers To a,b or c
can't take how much I love you every single sip, every single song reminds me so painfully of you I look at your profile pictures like I'm some kind of creep and it's the little things like your smile that make me weep and I guess what I'm left with is different in most of my pictures I was with you at that time or you are even in it can't look at my own past don't feel happy when reminiscing can't help but feel I've made a mistake like we found a permanent solution to a temporary feeling now my heart aches
I'll always be your nugget and if the neighbour bangs on the floor one more time I'll finally kick his head in and free his dog like you always wanted <3
Tracing the cracks on the wall, my eyes are burning but I'm fighting sleep. The lonely hum inside my brain is telling me to do something but loving you is exhausting and it's been raining white flags inside my brain since summer.
The end of us felt like an earthquake- something tragic I never saw coming and my God, I never saw it coming.
Every night I remind myself that the more I close my hands the more I hurt myself and it's not easy being valiant but I am thinking of you quietly now.
Holding so much inside. Ignoring the pain that resides. Telling myself we'll be alright, knowing full well it's a lie. Breaking, shattering, falling apart. Reaching the end of that rope; my last gleaming hope is fading. Jaded, incomprehensive, inconsolable. Extinguished fire behind my eyes, the last burning embers pulsing out. Collapsed lungs suffocating me, drowning in deprivation. Grim stands beside me, holding my hand. Das ende. Slutten. Fin. lmt