I keep on turning
and skipping pages,
blank as they may be

Reckless enough to
lose them in the way,
still continuing

Life had given me
another book to
be written upon

And yet here I am:
starting and stopping
on a blank canvas

* *

Sharp eyes watching
from side to side
Each move, blood arises
Wrong word, pulls the trigger.
Water's boiling inside the freezer
Open the door, molten lava.
Look up high, see the stars
coming down with wrath and fury.

Wishing it to rain
Of flaming arrows
Hiding beneath the shell
Of a fossilized snail.
Whisper a name
to a quiet breeze
And finally goes on

**Never to be seen.

I could no longer make a poem
For my mind has gone silent
Tried to swallow, choked on words
How pitifully malevolent.

I see my reflection in the mirror
But that wasn't really me
I see pain behind the smile
But the eyes were filled with glee.

Red was the color–
Of the stain on her cheeks
Blue was once the sky
But now it all can't be fixed.

I could not understand
How quick it was to change
But it wasn't entirely true...
Still see me within your range?

I may be what I appear to be
But deep within, I'm scared
Please hold me, don't let go
For all the memories that we shared

I can't assure that I could stay
But I'll still be right here
This love could only grow
Even if I disappear.

Thank you, I'm sorry
This won't be goodbye...
I guess I finally made a poem
And no, I won't say I'll die.

Lurker of the shadows,
Beholder of the truth,
Would you still come to the tree
That bears no fruit?

                          Such curious wood
     Such a semblance of weakness
                However I still approach
            *As I am no beholder, but I a
                                                   seeker

I Have Lost My Poetry

Stained with remnants
of an unforgiving past,
my heart tends to sulk
But then I blink
my two lifeless eyes
and forget where I'd been
before.

*

I am a ghost
among the crowd,
silently looming

The predictability
of the unpredictable,
I linger

At my most,
I take on form,
ever looping

To retain,
To disperse,
To lay low or regain

I wish to be still
At a constant zerø,
if you may please

But I—
spread too thin
or dense too quick;

I will forever remain
in this gentle cycle
rinsed in chaos.

.     Maybe
               I liked
                        rainy
                                days
                      ­                  before
                                               but-
   ever        since       you      came,                                  
    all I
    could
    picture
    were                  
    the                  
              sunny
         days

Had I let time and weather reach this minuscule pebble
that it had let itself be tainted with powdered pistachio

Had I been so grateful to put it out of its misery
tossed into the river of ever-flowing ink, varnished by the sun

There's just so many things and people that I miss....
These walls and corners have already been filled.
I need to get away...
They're overflowing.

She was fond of the light
Yet he kept her in the dark

Her smile faltered
Her heart grew weary
I knew she was tired.

But despite that,
She still clings onto hope
That maybe one day

One day...

Things could go back
To the way they were
Before her eyes went dim

And she could no longer see
the light.

Staring into a blank wall,
Seeing shades of grey
Droplets of blue diamonds
He won't let them stay

Nearing the home,
withdrawing the heart.
Once a week he goes away
paying the debt; playing his part

The storm starts to fade
after he hushes the wind
The rage that once boiled,
froze into a friend.

Too tired to do the tasks
Too worried to fall asleep
Dangling from a cliff
for the sake of my hopes and dreams.

Home is where my heart first shattered
And sought things unimaginable
Quenching for love and enlightenment,
Seeking for guidance and hope
My days were once evergreen
And raging red as my blood stirs and flows
Denying the pity as each eye stares
Watching each flower bloom
Then slowly rot and perish

A huge pail of liquid was showered upon me
And air turning cold as ice
The room was covered in a blackish-gray cloud
That growled and thundered
Leaving a mark that no one could hide
People see beauty in times of merriment
But I see mine in my hard, abandoned shell
I could no longer speak for no one would listen
Why would I aim for a goal that was never there?
All there is, is a dusty shelf
That mourns and weeps
Waiting for it's master's return
In the days that were long gone.

this is dangerous
too many times
i wish –
under the bed
on the bed
at my closet
but nobody told me
i'd never get better
it scares me –
*wishing

To my dear old friend,
My first words said.
Oh how far we've come
Won't you share me some?
Some stories of your life,
But not that with a knife.
I'll share mine too
If you give me a clue-
How did we reach
A feisty breach?
Oh, remember that road
With a croaking toad?
That's where it all started
When white clouds darted
Our ignorant eyes for us to see
Now mind's filled with glee.
Seeing familiar faces
From all sorts of places.
Finally rung the bell
There it ended as well.

F or when
I n distress,
R escue comes
S aves you from
T he troubling pain

A nd as you lay
I nto the stretcher,
D eath arrives.

I love the way
his lips curl
and his eyes crinkle
whenever he smiles

I love how
he makes silly faces
and laughs so loud
whenever he's with me

He would randomly call
at random times
just to hear my voice
and for me to hear his

It was those
midnight talks
with him that
made me fall harder-

I was madly in love.
He would sing
me songs to sleep
and kiss me goodnight

He would hold
my hand
and hug me tight.
How I loved those moments.

Those moments
that I wished
could last forever
but they didn't.

I thought I finally
found the one
I'd spend the rest
of my life with

But I was
blind enough to believe
that I could have
a fairytale of my own.

Since the day I met you,
there's been this swirl
in the pit of my stomach,
there's this shy little smile
being drawn on my face
whenever I think of you,
and this sense of unrealism
that I could not understand.

Just as I was about to sail through calm waters, a tidal wave emerges
tossing my ship on a lone island, beautifully wrecked.

Sitting here alone
in an empty, tranquil room
I've got nothing left to fear
than time itself colliding

I entered the phase
and went back in time
those teary-eyed souls
helpless and desperately calling

A heart who seeks revenge
being repainted from time to time
All the chaos it has encountered
tragedies, death, and sorrow

Although happiness fills in,
it overflows and bursts
An unfathomable hole
where the beast loves to creep

Eye to eye, we gazed
there, it struck me
This phantom I only met
by then took my awakening

Out of the blue, they came
their voices growing louder
serenity is fading
My solace, abruptly chopped.

The open gates tell me I must stay
or be devoured by the lightning ray
The flowers do sprout in the springs of May
only to dwell by the end of the day

Why did you take a different turn
in hopes of getting back?
Headed to the point of no return,
you've bleached the mirthful black

I can't keep up with your speedy pace
that's blinded by beauty, salvaged by grace
There's only so much that I could erase
the only exception is your face

On shallow waters, you've hidden something
whereas every ship mysteriously sank
Spheres will always withold a 'something'
For now I see, it's not as blank.

Life had been a picture box
Wherein all are painted in monotone
Only what's to be seen are being shown
But go down in mem'ry—rusted love locks.

Everywhere you turn,
the pictures look the same
Still in place as you carelessly aim,
A heart can only discern.

Be it winter, spring, summer or fall,
The external; the internal remains
But a sound, a voice, in my head refrains
Yet again, it's the film's time to roll.

Once, I caught a glimpse of a smile
And wondered what it could be
How can an image look so different to me?
A thought unusually worthwile.

Flowers begun to bloom and blossom
Releasing fireworks into the sky
Could these fingertips reach them if ever I try?
Rainbows cried on a sphere of monochrome.

They are blank, blank, blank
Your eyes, they bear nothing
But I sank, sank, sank
Into the depths of this "nothing"

Masked in an expressionless face,
there's nothing more to erase...
there's no beauty, there's no grace
But why do I still go upon your pace?

It's all black, black, black
It's a pool of no return
But you're still back, back, back
How come you survived your left turn?

Bizarre it is, you came through the day
To the flowers a'blooming in the springs of May
Swallowed it whole, the sun's lightning ray
I know I cannot escape, but may I be here to stay?

L abirynth of
O dysseys
V enturing the
E ther

Dark skies, dark skies
It's getting darker
I'm not a coward
but I can't go any further
I trip, I fall and I stumble
I forgot where I was going
I heard it again
My heart was pounding.
Little by little, fear rose
Until I saw her,
I suddenly froze.
Water filled my eyes,
Tears came rolling down
I remembered EVERYTHING
As if I could drown.
I could have been the one
I knew it was my time
But she was in the way
I was about to accept the "crime"

My heart was filled with joy
When she came into my life
But there was this day
It all ended with a knife.
I saw her and everything else
It was too much.
I was being stabbed a million times
Who could ever do such???
Time flies so fast.
She entered my life,
but she instantly went away
I thought it would all be fine...
But I know this is not the end.
I have to be true
I will start anew
And live this life through.

Confined in the bubble of thought,
I sit before this room
the pitchers, the glasses,
the paintings on the wall
The portal behind the window pane,
beholds madness in one's eyes
the cracks, the chipped paint,
the ombre imprint of life

Stroke by stroke, line by line,
you tear your life away
Coloring in the drafted frames
then bind them with a gauge
So much dust have accumulated
more than enough to see your tracks
But turn to a blind eye,
and exhale the puff of smoke

The sea
kissed the shore as
they intertwined; cocooned
by long-forgotten memories

*dissolved

raindrops from above
forming into clouds; ignites
twice—the spark of joy

I could not deny
these feelings inside
Voices are roaring,
there's no place to hide.

Droplets of sweat;
blood staining the carpet
Walls stripped bare,
I await this comet.

To the stairwell I go,
oh, starry, starry night.
Come and take me away,
tomorrow meets *tonight.

While the stone awaits in a lengthy span of time,
The blue curtain blankets its soul;
Waiting to turn into dust, into light
Into non-existence
'Till the gems of the sea washes up ashore
Just as the clouds of disarray
Spits out the last specks of light
As it blends with the mist.
And into the far distance, the stone awaits
Down goes the last drop
Won't rotate the hourglass
Its time is up.

"My heart always timidly hides itself behind my mind. I set out to bring down stars from the sky, then, for fear of ridicule, I stop and pick little flowers of eloquence."  -Edmond Rostand

I am a passive vacuum cleaner
inhaling all the toxicity.

C rippling from the stares of the
Y ears that behold when
R eality struck quick
I rradiating where I abode, exposing the
L ife I wished to have not known
L iving in a masquerade to have
E nticed myself into the brink of the unknown

Caught amid a raging storm,
we mused if to delay
that its eye had yet to take on form
we surge–come what may

The threat of doom, its whereabouts
had flown beneath our feet
may it take away these petty doubts
and let winding roads meet.

Minute white crystals
That sparkle in the day,
Precious little gems
Lay along the bay

Footsteps in the sand;
The past that left a trail
Merry moments building castles
As father begins to sail

Golden summer haze,
In a memory filled with bliss
Nostalgia I had to face
All it took was one simple kiss

I live, I die
I shriek and cry
Is life worth living?
With words unforgiving?

My hands were on the steering wheel
I fell asleep, I fell asleep
Drove to the edge of a cliff so steep
There's not a pain that I could feel
Is this a dream, Is this all real?

The bubbles they, begin to rise
I guess it's true, a murky hue
When you believe, there come's a price
Ye had been a fool, what more to do?
Soon to depart, succumb to rue

Pearls of black musn't stare at white
It's time to go, It's time to go
Then spread thy wings and then take flight
My precious beam, go with the flow
If in ashes, burnt, shall you wake,
**know~

Tired of replay
again and again and again
When will it stop?
Tell me, when will it end?
Clenched fists,
face plastered with anger
Soul burns with fury,
the beat goes faster and faster
Tip the tables, throw the papers
Let them sob and fear my wrath
I am the ruler, fear my power
Just try and trespass my territory
And let's burn in hell together.

Helped me see
when I was blind,
There to sweep
the mess of my mind.

Helped me feel
when I was numb,
Sought for help
when I was dumb,

Helped me stand
each time I tumble,
Understood
each word I mumble.

Saw beyond
the change I went
Better now,
that it left a dent.

A friend I never knew
I'd have,
Thanks for refilling
my emptied half.