7 Billion people in the world
and yet I still feel alone.

The warheads rust in peace while the population celebrates
War is over
Peace is here!

An explosion of ecstasy in the inner cities
Joyous laughter and delight
No more young men dying without a cause

And yet there still stands the grieving mother
Crying for her baby boy
War is over
But grief remains.

I have excess love in my heart, but nobody to give it to.
I wish to spend my time adoring and admiring someone.
I want to be able to show my true self to one who won't judge.
I want to love.

Visions of angels calling me to them
Gasping for breath in that icy water
Panicking terror overwhelming me
Don't know what to do
Don't know what to say.

Visions of demons calling me to them
Screaming in pain in that fiery pit
Calm mellowness overcoming me
I know what to do
I know what to say.

My heart burns with the flames of passion
Lust
Desire
Want
Love.
The butterflies in my stomach when I think of you
When I see you
Hug you
Kiss you
The longing desire whenever we're apart
When im waiting for you
Whenever im not in your arms

The darkness inside of me gone when you're near
My heart at peace at last.

I hate you
Truly
From the bottom of my heart
Because I loved you
With it all

I hate you
Truly
From the bottom of my heart
So why
Why do I miss you?

I hate you
Truly
From the bottom of my heart
So why can't I
Stop thinking about you?

I hate you
Truly
From the bottom of my heart
So why
Why can't I live without you?

You will not keep me down.
You will not prevent me from reaching my goals.
You will not tell me what to do with my body.
You will not tell me who to love.
As Henley wrote, I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.
So listen when I tell you that I am me and I'll do what makes me happy.
I am not irresponsible for pursuing happiness.
So you can just leave me alone.

I ask myself the same question each day.
Am I happy?
The answer is always no.
How can I change it?
I don't know.
I never know.
I will never know.

Heart torn between two,
I have both and neither now.
My soul can't decide.

You are the light that yonder window breaks.
Like Yorick I knew you well.
You are the Demetrius to my Helena.
The Romeo to my Rosaline.
My unrequited love.

Misunderstood man,
victim of society.
Will his voice be heard?

I scream
I cry
I plead
I lose
I pray
I beg
I try
I choose
I write
I sing
I dance
I play
But nothing leads love my way.

Screeching of harpies,
cacophonous sounds from hell.
The song of deceit.

What makes us love?
Can it be reduced just to chemical reactions?
What makes us decide we want to spend the rest of our lives with another person?
Will there ever be an answer?
Does there need to be an answer?

No smell of sulphur in the air
No bullets flying past your head
No screams of agony to be heard
No injuries to be seen.

Scarred by the words
Bruised by the fists
Paralysed by the sirens
The urban battlefield still destroys lives.

The phoenix spreads its wings and flies away with my heart.
Torn from my chest, chasing desires.
I dream to be under my precious phoenix's wing.
To one day love once more, to rise from the ashes.

His incandescent lips draw me in,
unable to pull myself away.
My brain says no, my heart says yes.
After waiting so long for this moment, anticipating and dreading it,
I pull away
I cant do this
One kiss would never be enough, I'd always want more.
My heart cries for this but I have to resist
I have to stop.
I can't.
Pure magnetism.
Charm
Grace
Lust.

To love we must suffer.
When we suffer, we fight.
The dangerous first step into no man's land.
The first message.
Strike up the conversation like a firing pin.
Will it hit or misfire?

Irrational thoughts racing.
Illogically trying to explain something unexplainable.
I can use maths and science all I want but it will never explain why I love you.

If I scream
will you listen?

I guess that's it
Him the straw
Me the camels back
I'm broken

You're gone
His now
Or maybe all along
I'm broken

Your heart his
Never truly mine
Always distant
Always in his arms

Strange disappearances explained
With him
In mind
Body
Soul.

I've fallen for you.
This strange new feeling inside.
Unrequited love.

How to write haikus:
Five, seven, five. Easy right?
Greet inspiration.

I wish to stare into the abyss and never break sight.
To join it in eternal embrace.
To jump in and feel my soul drift away.
I wish to become one with the darkness.

I can't help but think of you and feel hatred.
I am full of love and empathy but for you it's different.
I hate you for what you've done to me.
I hate you for making me hate.

Sometimes I wish I could close my eyes and never wake.
Too often, my mind will break.
Internal suffering nobody else will see,
bouts of sadness, moments of glee.
The highs and lows in quick succession,
is this more than just depression?
Is there more the quacks didn't find?
I just want to know what's wrong with my mind.
Can I be helped? Will I be helped?
Will time tell?

The connection of our minds
The intertwining of our bodies
The marriage of our souls.

The perfect moment in a perfect lifetime
A burst of pure passion
Love incarnate.

The razor, my skin
Cold metal against warm flesh
Dark thoughts returning.

Oh how I long for the rose tinted glasses, the atrocities I've seen.
Men killing each other over money,
Children being slaughtered for their religion.
Widows starving on the streets.

Oh how I long to see some good in this world, how I wish to blind of the constant evil around me. How I wish to be at peace.

The sound of rain outside my window
Petrichor filling my nostrils.
The old memories of you return
Hate fills my heart, I want to forget you.

Pondering my thoughts,
Trying to find the answer.
Endless wondering.

talk and talk for days on end barely stopping to eat or sleep until suddenly a stop
was it my fault
what did i say
did i say too much
did i not say enough
is it because im ugly
is it because im going in too fast
is it me
?

The soundless scream haunts my dreams
the silent pleading invading the night
windless breath on the back of my neck
the voiceless begging for help.

When I'm lonely,
you're not there.

When I fall to the floor in tears,
you're not there.

When I need someone to talk to,
you're not there.

When I'm stressed and can't relax,
you're not there.

                                                         ­                                       When you're lonely,
                                                         ­                                         I'm always here.

                                                          ­                  When you fall to the floor in tears,
                                                                ­                        I'm always here.

                                                          ­                When you need someone to talk to,
                                                             ­                           I'm always here.

                                                          ­             When you're stressed and can't relax,
                                                          ­                              I'm always here.
                          

                       I will always be here for you, even if you aren't for me.

Consuming darkness
I'm overcome with panic
My chest, tightening.

All my hearts desires
All my wants hopes and dreams
Everything I could ever wish for
All of that is you

You are my dream
My heart
My love
And I've ******* it all up

I may have destroyed the best thing that has ever happened to me

Scarred heart and scarred feet.
Walking through the burning coals of love and failing to exit them caused both.
Have the lessons been learnt?
Time will tell.

The panic sets in.
I can't breath.
I try to keep calm.
I fail.
I scream but no sound escapes my lips.
I beg for it to end.
My chest tightens further.
I'm gasping for air.
Tears rolling down my cheeks.
I can't carry on like this.

This fire inside me burns brightest for you,
the passion kept hidden from human eyes.
Its power greater than any ever seen,
you decide if it's to be set free.