I sit here and think
Mind empty
Eyes glazed
Wondering if it'll get better
Hoping
Begging
Dreaming of the day I'm free of pain
Agony
Loneliness
Imagining the day I can be happy again.

I may not know how others feel.
I may not know why others kneel.
I may not know whom others admire,
But I know how I feel, why I don't kneel and who I admire.

As the title suggests, this isn't a poem.
I just wanted to make a quick post addressed to you all to say thank you.
Thank you for your beautiful words and beautiful poems.

I'll spend my birthday alone.
How depressing and common now.

Scarred arms and scarred heart.
Pain, both spotted and hidden.
Permanently there.

I rise from the ground on a rare day of peace.
I sigh as I see the world around me.
Destruction at every path.
I see what this world has become and sink back down into my grave.
I sink below where peace is maintained.

I* walk through the dark night and see those in despair.
I see those unfortunate souls with nowhere to go.
I feel powerless to help the powerless.
I try and try to help but I can't.
Nothing I do has any affect.
But then what did I expect?
I'm only one step up from them.
The smallest push before I'm sat there beside them.
Crying inside.

As the sky darkens I reflect on the day.
Wasted? Or time well used?
I wonder what tomorrow will bring...

I would pluck the stars from the heavens to please you, pull the moon closer to the earth just to see you smile.

I would cross the wildest of rivers and climb the tallest of mountains if that is what you asked.

My heart is your possession, my soul yours to twist and bend and shape.

I am yours, completely.

Like the sun, your radiance brings me life.
The moon too shy to look upon you.
The sparkle in your eyes envy the stars.
Your smile calms the most ferocious of storms but fans the fires of my heart.

To my dearest demons,
How have you been?
It's been a while since we've seen each-other
Yet here you are again.

Those weekly sessions of talking and crying to get you to disappear
seems futile now
Those dark feelings, those intrusive thoughts
of pain, of death and destruction,
Here you are again.

The unwelcomed guest, the evil within
how do I vanquish you once and for all?
Why does nothing work?
Why are you back to taunt me once again?

Talk to me of love,
I beg you to!
Tell me how you love me and always have.
Tell me of your passion and of your desire, tell me of the flame inside your heart.

Yaknow, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel anymore.

I know that I no longer pine for you like i once did nor hold the seething resentment that used to be so deeply entwined within my very soul at the mere suggestion of your existence.

I know that no matter what I would never want you back, and that I barely think about you anymore.

And yet-

There's still something stopping me moving on, being able to live my life truly apart from you.

Is there still an unfilled maw inside of me from all the pain you put me through?

Why can I simply not trust a man with my body or my soul anymore?

Why can't i just forget you ever burrowed your way into my life?

That little ****** in my head
That little itch at the back of my mind
I thought I could ignore it at first but the longer I go on the louder and more prominent in my psyche he is.

It started with whispers
Quiet
Ignorable
But the more I ignored him the louder and angrier he got.

He wouldn't let me ignore him
He couldn't handle not being the center of my attention
So he started screaming.

Those screams
Those dreadful screams
I cannot sleep
I cannot escape him
I can only see
One
Way
Out