hello
its been a while, huh?
Im at home.
Whiling away my day.
Reading her words.
They sting.
They bleed through the paper.
Her last words.
Her last will.
was me.
And yet, she's gone, and i'm here.
****.
Who am i?
i think i should go.
You don't deserve to see me

I feel so bitter



I still haven't found my home.

Locked away in bars
Being stuck in a cage only incises my rage
Can’t find ground
No one to be found
Raising hell all around
Welcome to my world, *****.
For years I’ve been running away
From the hateful things they try to say.
Held a knife to my throat
I really don’t mean to gloat
But the world is burning
The tide is turning
One giant mess after another and we only sit and watch.
Beg for help but strings bind my lips
I am forced to face the fury of the whips.
You were supposed to live
But instead we fall into body bags
Only given the right to a toe tag.
Im tired of waiting
Im tired of failing.
I’ve fallen too many times before
Each time experiencing a little more gore.
One count
No surprises
Going in for the ****
Acquainted with skill
Take the pill
Try to survive
Do anything you can to free yourself.  
Ghosts staring back
You are stuck
No luck
So why do you give a ****
Pain is surrounding
Only thing I can see
Bitterness miles away
I don’t care what I say
I can’t say a word
I can’t pray to a lord
When I have no idea what is even out there
Given one gift
Given one time
Given an opportunity
To break my chains
To escape these pains.
Given a time
To raise mother ******* up
Rise above the outlasting hate
And scream
Originating from the heart of pain
And I dare say I’d rather stand in the rain.
My mouth is sewn shut
I can never speak again
Running
Always running
Always dying
Always giving up
And-a one two three
Someone ******* save me
Cut the strings and allow me to
Scream.
Gone gone gone
I am always wrong wrong wrong.
I am putting the words into the fire
This is all I require
To be healed
To shine again
To rise again
Take my love
I shall only hate
Take my hate
I shall only mutate
Further into a spiral of darkness
When my shadow leaves at the break of dark.
Creating murals to depict my morals
I am alone
I am dead
Cliché says it best this isn’t my forte.
O father
Why have you deceived me?
What were you waiting for?
Why have you abandoned me?
I gave you everything
You gave me nothing.
And now the legion shall rise
…
Originating from the heart of pain
And I dare say I’d rather stand in the rain.
My mouth is sewn shut
I can never speak again
Running
Always running
Always dying
Always giving up
And-a one two three
Someone ******* save me
Cut the strings and allow me to
Scream.
Condemned to a cell
Yes, welcome to hell
Shackled to a wall
Grab a cup of coffee
And watch the world fall.
I tried to scream with a mouth sewn shut
But my friends, I ran out of luck
My lips shed blood
I’m drowning in my own flood.
What I once understood so well
Is proving to be no more swell
Than a classic enraged beating
That is so painful to take seating
As the world keeps heating
And we
…
Just
…
*watch

with every breath I take,
I'm dying.
A true statement at best,
I need to remember that I must make it count.
not sure about religion
not sure about the afterlife,
but i AM sure about
this life.
I will no longer hold back.
I won't bite my tongue.
I will break free.
And when things get hard
I'll make 'em easy.
Because this is my life.
So I am going to own this one.