**** I miss you.
It's not fair.
Your so far away.
I just want to go home.
**** I miss you.
My body aches for your touch.
**** I miss kissing you.
I long to see you.
I miss your eyes.
And your hair.
I miss you so much it hurts.
A deep ache I can't stop.
Only you can help me.
Only you can satisfy my beating heart.
**** I miss you.

you are the smoke to my fire
the book to my tea
the warm to my soft
you are the only one i want
the only hope i have.

you are the cold to my bitter
the stormy to my dark
the meaning to my life
you are the best thing that has ever happened
my secret yearning.

you are the red to my black
the emo to my punk
the beautiful to my cute
you are the one thing i love most in the world
my evah

I can't sleep
it just won't come
the dark won't  take me
the songs still hum
they won't go quiet just for a while
so I can lay down my head
and dream of a smile
a smile so far away I can hardly see her
but then she's there and I can sleep again
but just for a bit and then it slips away like one of the mer,
and I just can't sleep
and the dark won't take me
to the blue, black deep.

hiding from the ones that would do us harm
stealing quick kisses when there backs are turned
hoping they will not see the way we glance at each other.

hiding from our parents
scared of what they would say.
of what they would think.
of how they would react.

hiding in the dark
warm kisses when we are alone
the quickening of breath when someone walks by the door
the rushed attempt to calm our racing hearts.

hiding the hurt
I feel when I can't see you.
or when I found out about he pain
you where hiding from me

hiding the tears I want to shed
because I want to tell my mother but
her words hang over my head like a dark cloud
"if you where in love with someone" she said.
"I would never let you spend the night at there house and vice versa".

and so I hide in tell I know
I'm strong enough to tell her
in tell We are  strong enough to tell Them.

your dark is so different than mine
mine is welcoming and safe
my dark is home
you said once that you are afraid of your dark
and what it lets you do to your self
I hate that I can't wrap you up in my dark
and hold you,
safe and warm

what if your guardian angel is actually your soul mate that died before they could meet you?
Some times just before you fall asleep that feeling you have like you are safe and warm,
its your soul mate giving you a goodnight kiss
and tucking you in
whispering in your ear how much they love you
and to sleep well and
they will see you in the morning
and when you wake up they are right there with you
helping you thru the day
holding your hand as you walk down the street and going out to lunch with you and your friends.
Imagine you decide to stay in that night and they smile and laugh because they have you all to them selfs.

Or when you are sad curled up on the bathroom floor they are sitting next to you telling you not to cry that every thing will be okay.
How do you think they would feel if you cut your wrists or your leg, think of how they would feel not being able to hold you and for you to hear them say that its okay to not be okay and they are here for you,
that even tho you are down now you will get better that life has its ups and downs and you will be okay.

How do you think they would feel if you where standing on the edge of a bridge at an open window,
or with a knife in you hand ready to open you veins and poor out your blood,
think of how they would feel,

what if they where standing next to you yelling at you begging for you not to jump
to put the knife down
and fight just so you will see the world as they never could.
Because even tho you would be together in death
they want for you to live
for you to have the opportunity to love another
to see and do all that you want.
Because life is short and you would have all of your after life to fall in love with them.    -HBN

sweetheart I've failed you
I'm sorry
I lost the fight
I picked up the knife again  
I broke my promise

for you
I will hold on
for you
I will fight
for you
I will smile and laugh
for you
I will sleep at night
for you
I will put down the knife
for you
I will sing again
for you
I will...stop
I promise

I'm so sorry
I didn't mean to hurt you
but the pain was to much
and I just wanted it to stop
to let up
to let me go
I'm so sorry
that I caused you pain
I wil try harder next time

Sweetheart I love you,
You don't need a mask,
Your beautiful and smart
and sweetheart I love you,
for you and not for who you pretend to be,
You don’t need to try to be any thing more than you,
Because you are strong and brave
and I know you may not love your self as much as you should,
But sweetheart I love you,
So please don't hide behind a mask,
Let me see you as you and not as any one else,
I believe in you sweetheart,
I know you can do it,
I’m not asking you to smile for me,
I’m not asking you to laugh,
I just want you sweetheart,
Because I love you and I want my sweetheart back.

I have never been happier than when I am in your arms,
Wrapped up in our own little world,
Not caring if the sky where to fall
and the sea to rise up and swallow the earth,
Because I could live on light that glows in your eyes
and the love you hold behind your lips,
I can't express just how much I really love you,
But I do and I want you to know
I love you maple.