I can't breath I can't sleep all the way thru the night . I'm sad I miss you I hate what I did I wish I could go back but I must face forward and go away !.....

Pain is numb now you act like you don't care I don't know how to read you it's hard to read you. What's on your mind baby? Can I call you baby?

No response is a response I keep telling myself. Maybe he is done and I should be too hope needs to die out my life again. I love you or maybe I'm confused? Gosh I think am I ever gone get over this obstacle one day?

I wish
For my soul to not
Feel for a very long time.
My head and heart
Are so ******* tired
Of lost emotions and misplaced
Love.

I wish to turn off my soul
and all its ability to fall in love
just for a short while!
not forever!
My heart strings have been
Plucked and played with,
recklessly,
So much so that
I deeply wish to never hear it's pumps n strings profess its
Honest, unbelievable love.


This love so ****
Unbelievable,
Only my creator and savior
Knows my
Incredible passionate pain
Of loving.

I want to be done
My heart n mind.
Soo done.
I deeply wish
For a switch to turn off
For a long time.

I promise.
for this misplaced love
to never wonder off again,
I promise
to switch myself off the best I can
it will be pure hell for a short while.
But I'm exhausted from this never ending
Circle of hell
Called love.

I'm turning off now

Goodbye my old heart.

-b.v.r

you tell me I'm smart
that I'm strong
that i can do it

but how can i be smart when i can't do simple math
how can i be strong when some days i can barely drag myself out of bed
how can i do it when i can't eat my breakfast

you tell me I'm pretty
that I'm fine
that it will be okay

but how can i be pretty when i look in a mirror i see someone who is not me
how can i be fine when life seems grey and dull
how can it be okay when the days drag on and on and i just want to sleep

you tell me you love me
that I'm safe
that I can live

but how can you love someone as broken as me
how can i be safe when I'm with myself
how can i live when i can barely survive

you tell me that you'll be there for me
that you'll always be here
that no matter what ill have you

but how can you be when you don't understand what going on
how can you be here when i can say the same
how can i always have you when I'm afraid of scaring you off

you tell me lies and i can't tell you that i don't believe you
because it would hurt you
and i can't do that
im so sorry
but i just can't believe

With all of that family
How will I survive?
I just can't do it.
How will I stay alive

I love my family
Don't get me wrong.
But two weekends
It's just to long.

I'll do anything
Just tell me please.
I'm begging you
From down in my knees.

Just one week is all I ask
I'm sorry I can't do it.
I'm not up to the task

Its hard
To think of myself as beautiful
When all i can see
Are the flaws that surround my body
Its hard
To think of myself as affectionate
When all i can see
Is the emptiness holding me down
Its hard
To think of myself as happy
When all i can see
Is the sadness inside of me