Melted cream kisses
that clot our nerves with a
sweetness so throat coatingly sugary.
******* caramel covered heart.
Keep me on you till we part;

We're a little "pick me up" kinda love.

Evil starts
"with every little lie" they said.
Yet here your heart lingers
neither truly alive or dead.

are we defined
by tragedy?
only thing tying us together
is my desire to be called
we.

chapped lips in the underground.
cream skin with Blue eyes
held red bars closer than me.
This is erratic.
Listening to screeching underfoot
To drown out
blonde wild winds
a cyclone
to taste the sky.
It was far too brief.
come back.

Getting lost
in the Coffeeshop Quartet.
Birring grinders and steamy explosions
chattering friends- coffee tinged emotions.
Everyone's exploring with their faces upbeat,
a little bubble of warmth against the cold harsh street.

the longing behind fingertips
reaching for hands
snatched away so quickly.
i forget their feeling so quickly
i forget your flinches so quickly.
and so it repeats.
can you feel the longing left
somewhere in the empty air?

I build homes in my heart;
with bedrooms, bathrooms. With kitchens and attics.
Winding staircases- gardens.
They beat in time with my blood
and with each pump, become a little larger.

I am the only resident.

The Agrophobic Architect; never invited elsewhere.
never to know another's heart-home.
never invited in.

So i built homes in my heart
and slowly
the foundations decided to b/r\e/a\k
apart.

but the tides change.

Sunlight's embrace through leaves
to caress cheeks and chin;
dancing on your features.

To a computer screen.
Reflected on glasses, with
tensed teeth and eyebrow.      unseeing.

The moon sits somewhere out of view. It does not intrude.

Sleep does not take me this night.
Hazy irises seek out your face in the gloom.
found in a bed an arms-reach-eternity-   away.

                                                          (i dont want to look away)

so i watch the sun through curtains. throwing greetings upon the wall.
to caress your eyes and hair.
the first blink of morning.
a smile.

in a savoury dream;
we'd of been together.

in a sweeter dream;
we'd of been forever.

but in this bitter reality
were we meant to sever?

i found myself
at 3am.
            He was not the same person
            as before.

**and I wonder if that's a loss or a gain.

blue eyes deep enough to get lost in
i made them caverns to get lost in
and filled with light you couldn't turn without blinding yourself
so i sit in the dark and stare at my ceiling
wishing for respite
in this very long night.

i can't go stargazing anymore.
i mean; after the moment was ruined by a not too snarky comment
"They're dying- it's not beautiful-"
you wouldn't expect it. now i look to ceilings
with cracks and caves from upstairs dances, naming constellations
from memory

wishing i could look at my night sky stars.
without you.                                                  
                                                                          "-but this is. We're beautiful."

perhaps you're hell-sent.
these false feelings
words never truly meant.
                                                                                with bruises
your hands may intend.
because you're precious
you're my friend.

my heart is bronze.
patina ridden and decrepit
burning with rust and slaked with scars. it is too late for it. it's engravings are scratched through and through its middle lies dents and indents and doubts. Hollow ringing.
surface level decay.
but it's never enough is it?

it's never enough.

you have outgrown
the roots within me.
and as branches spiral upwards
searching for another place to lay,
your oaken memory will

Slowly.       Wither.        Away...

Are we running
because you're afraid of me

or the starting pistol aimed at us both.

Too busy
thinking I'm yours

to worry about loving from another source.

Do not ask
to be loved in your dark
if you are unable to
love in my light.

Distances uncovered by slow fingertips tracing arches of ligaments
rivers of veins
through mountains of bone
across lakes of pain.

Your body is a continent
and something compels me to explore,
(and as long as you allow it)
I'll keep searching till we're sore.

"i guess that's how you know you've lost.
                                           being swept up in a current
                                                                   that wasn't meant for you."

i can only imagine a day
where you'd prefer to stay
                                                                        than sprint away.
So Run.
Run faster and faster and faster!
otherwise
my
begging may outpace you.

you have taken root somewhere inside me.* *The petals tickle.

Cranes
Bigger than the buildings;
Light up the sky in lights red.
And now
(If we're allowed out when it's dark)
Let's not ignore them
We'll count them;
As other stars instead.

You telling me to:
"Just go home."
Sent mixed messages .

A steady pain
is more honest than any lover.
Skipping all formalities.
They just make you suffer.

Tell me right now.
Truthfully, my ravaged nerves;
Talk much. Rather not,
Tales merry- running noiselessly;
Through merciless river nights.
Tell me right now.
Too many readied "no"'s
Trusting Malice. Reserved? Never.