I'm ready to step out
i guess i always was
but was too scared
to face the fact that
i am not the only person on this planet
with a life worth living

i am ready for sacrifice
of time, money, and comfort
i am ready to be free
of the fickle judgements of others
i am ready to reach out
and enjoy me
and pour into others
and pray for real
and be legit
and dream
and work
and fight
and make life a journey
of thought and sacrifice
and love

When I die, remember me

not by the words I screamed, but by the words I spoke
not by the way I ran away, but by the way we walked together
not by the face that cried, but by the face that shone
not by the hands that slapped, but by the hands that held

not by the love we lost, but by the love we shared

Is the pain really worth the prize
Is the suspense really worth the surprise

When waiting is the only thing that happens in my life,
take and educated guess

I'm not doing life right

He sat inside his shopping cart
underneath his favorite tree
As a pine needle fell by his head
He thought about how
Christmases used to be

The Christmas tree decorated
with tinsel, ornaments, and candy canes
And Christmas morning discovering bright packages
filled with little toy planes

But he snapped back to reality
away from memories too painful to recall
so he gathered up the plastic bags
and slept amongst them all

Are the walls to lock you in
or keep the others away?

And if the doors were to be opened
would you leave or would you stay?

The comfort of your misery you cherish dearly

And you haven't started dreaming
'cause you're still fast asleep

                                                    -For King & Country
                                                       *Run Wild (feat. Lecrae)

i hate this
ive never hated anything this much before
and in this way
getting up too early every morning
just to do it all again
and expecting it to be different
isnt that the definition of insanity?
whats even keeping me going?
what is so wrong with me that no one even smiles

Screaming

Easier than Singing

But to me, the Same Thing

Singing

stimulation is atrophy
irises shed their illuminessence
...but its fine

i might kiss someone
i dont know who, when
but i know its coming
and i know youll be watching
because youre too supportive to let a grudge keep you from expressing your love
and ill regret kissing someone
ill see your deep eyes out there in the crowd
trying to appreciate the art through the heartbreak
and ill regret it

I enjoy the solitude
The drawn curtain, being alone

I don't need a friend
Unless the shadows count

I can smile, have a conversation
with myself

A guitar in my lap
A song in my head

I enjoy the solitude

so so soon
well be together
staring at the stars and moon
and dreaming about forever

fall back into the midnight grass
where are you?....... it doesn't matter
lie still as your luminescent irises reflect
glittering pinpoints in the night sky
graph them all in your gridded mind
a glorious correlation of novas and dark mist
calculations in the cold
PAIN as a star explodes spontaneously
light years away, undetectable
to most
but PAIN ONLY PAIN as your lungs…
they explode inside you
an unpredictable gone unmeasured.
your frozen head falls
90 degrees
shattered cochlea inches off of holy ground

my whole body is burned
outside
inside
ultraviolet rays
and sugar

Darkness

That's all there is in this world

False teachers
False preachers
False call-themselves-believers

Have no idea how discouraged anyone else is

When they try to force them to confess and repent

As if oppression is how you give light to someone

In a world of only

Darkness

Fall asleep under the trees
I raise my voice to sing to thee
Listen to my lonely call
And face the fears that torture all

My tears will help and strengthen you
Until Courage builds up a new tune
And when I die, remember me
I raise my voice to sing to thee

Don't worry
about those who
talk about you
behind your back


they're behind you
for a
reason

there's a certain pier
out there
that dangles off the east side
of a certain island
that i would without hesitation call 'home'

if you sat out there in the middle of the night
just for kicks for the first time
you'd be slapped around by the angry cliff wind
you'd be overwhelmed by the sea rot
and you'd be threatened the lapping of dark freezing waves
right underneath you in the spaces between the creaky wet beams
and it's all screaming at you to get up and leave

but if you are like me and her
you'd stay
we always decide to stay

we snuck out there late at night
and we found that there's more to the pier than the wind and the smell and the
cold and darkness
we found that there is just enough space
between the windblown wood poles and salt crusted cables
for two beautiful people to squeeze between and dangle their feet
over the edge
to laugh at that cold water and speak streaks of light into it's darkness
we found that there's just enough starlight to take a fuzzy picture
of ripped jeans and flannels and knotted dishwater hair
and a pair of glasses

i didn't know that i could talk to someone the way i learned to talk on the pier
it taught me
He taught me
she taught me

"You sounded great up there."
"You totally failed, but I don't want to be a dream-crusher so I'll lie"

Smiles at you when someone compliments you on how you did
"You're lucky that I even let you sing up there, even if you're horrible"

"I look forward to hearing you next week"
*"JK, I'm not coming back again, no way"

music is my only caress
they say im too young to desire so strong
i say they're too old to remember
how the passion burns inside you
and then the anger
when you realize how impossible it is
im too small and too tangled in expectations
to be held by a stanger

I know what it's like
to see the other point of view
on life

You love it now
but you won't later

It hurts you
There is no one you can trust
On the other side

So please turn back around again

i will never forget coach saying
"swim like you've got a chip on your shoulder"

i can feel her glare melting the rubber of my cap
lol sure coach can do

My
mirror
will
be
the
death
of
me

another week is over
i look in the mirror
well ****
it says
thats a waste

chorus:*
Why did I worry
And why did I sin
And why was I just so conceited
And why did I roll in the mud of the world for so long

Why was I angry
And why did I cry
And why did I judge those I hated
And why did I waste love on those that I didn't care for

Even when darkness knew what I feared
He knew what I needed

what's wrong with me
everything

what's wrong with her
almost everything

what's wrong with you & me
her

Where are words
do they rest on wings of soaring birds
are they underneath the willow tree
of which i've so often heard

who can say where they may hide
must i travel far and wide
till i finally find the words and tunes
that deserve to be sung to you

where
where are words

As I watch the world being help captive by dreams that can never be fulfilled in this life, chasing the darkness and everything that surrounds all the emptiness hidden inside. Well I won't stop showing this hope that is holding this passion so deep in my heart to tell all the world of Your love and affection and the plan that You've had from the start. So I will continue to fight, until the world comes alive.

                                                                           - Jeremy Camp

You don't know my whole story
You don't know my whole life
You think you can control my mind
But no one can control my thoughts
You can try to build up walls around me
But they will crumble the second they feel my rage

last night i began to cry
because my voice was gone
the sound that kept coming out wasnt even a sound
all wrong, warped, wasted
hoarse, hopeless, hated

i had lost it a few hours before
i gave everything i had to a bad decision
including my voice
and now i sit here in silence feeling violated
and furious
because i cant speak and even if i could
it wouldnt change anything
you stole my voice
and ill never get it back