Lips parted in frozen screams;
Wanting more.
Shoving harder deep into me;
A gasp escapes.
Slowly we savor the moment;
Deep breathes.
Time slips through our fists;
Sand and water.
Our tangled limbs an art piece;
Red eternally.

Locked away in a city of dust ;
Not keen to know or see anyone .
Emotions left to rot and rust ;
A simple thing but it ain‛t all fun .
Heart still throbs with forgotten lust ;
Thou knowest every concern is a pun .
For at hand there's too many a task ;
Yet never will be enough place to run .
Delicate glass hearts break at last ;
All becomes invincible when we become none .

The colors coating my eyes
Are monochromatic
Melancholic
Shades of black and white
The stark contrasts
A sharp glare in my bleak world
Vision filled with terror
Images of forgotten memories
Cast aside for fear of pain
Of the horrer it brings
Through days and nights
They tainted my sight
Haunting my ghost
Vengeful spirits lost in limbo

I am Monday
The sky on a rainy morning
I am the sea as it rumbles
The air as it trembles
I am the storm
And the calm
I am a mess
Catastrophe with eyes grayer
Than the smoke
Of the world that has burned down

Crisp linen sheets
Like the Autumn leaves
Broken twigs
Like broken wings
Of a bird or a butterfly
Perhaps mine

We are all puppets
Manipulated by our minds
Caricatures of our true selves
We live
Like comic book characters
Actresses and actors

The words and pictures
Evidence of our existence
But mine is a child's diary
The unruly handwriting
Stick figures and paper planes
Fairy tales and day dreams

All too soon
They will be forgotten

Our days are blank,
A piece of clear glass.
An empty page,
That'd soon turn to dust.

Eventually you'd see,
You'd feel the strain.
The pages torn,
The glass stained...

Waking up into the world
Foul words burn holes in my ears
Truths so raw they rot my young flesh
The instant they leave your lips
Kisses of death and decay
A power play that never ends
My personal hells undying fire
Pulverizing my mortal soul
Crazed thoughts meander in my head
I make my own meals
Milk and crunchy glass shards
Topped with freshly ground chillies
What a tantalizing trinity
The perfect homemade breakfast
To accompany our charming little pad
Savour our eclectic interior
Forget the artfully bloodied rooms
Someone's stiffened liver in our dining
Torn muscles stashed in a corner
A punctured heart in the kitchen sink
Some ground up bones in pepper shakers
Fractured ribs on my study desk
The brain sitting on the couch
Our latest wallpaper from centuries ago
News of our deaths on the headlines
Your acidic kindness
A raptured spleen in your bed
I belief that belongs to me
I'd give anything for your brutal love

Rocking back and fourth ,
With a razor in my hand .
I sit and cry and rock ,
Like there's a baby in my lap .
That baby she is
Inconsolable .

I want to put the crying in a car ,
And watch it roll into a lake .
Slide the blade back and fourth ,
Across the thin skin of my wrist .

First a cut ,
And another next to it .
Each time thinking just one more ,
But no , I don't stop .

Line them up tightly ,
A series of bright red screams .

Covering my forearm ,
From my wrist to my inner elbow .
No ,
It's to enough .

I move the blade diagonally across ,
Carving a section of delicate cross-hatchings .

Yes , I think , do it .
Give in , let loose , go crazy .
I'm not afraid .

though i've tried, but in vain;
for it's me, you still blame.

our relationship, a razor blade;
a beautiful diamond, ruby red.

smoothing out edges, no one dared;
all i'm left, is shattered and shred.

we won't go back now,
keeping to our vows.

drenched in a world of silence,
hoping to deface violence.

The sun is forever shining
Calling out to us
To listen to the secrets of the universe
Receive his all knowing light
Within an unforgiving glare
Blazing fire that burns to the touch
We remain adamant
That the truth is only what we know
Only the facts and numbers
But to know if anything at all
We need to understand
To banish the idea
That truth is just about numbers
Fractions facts and statements
Truth is what the universe has to offer
That we blatantly deny our next generations
The truth is creation and imagination
Intensity and insanity

I dreamed a dream; I walked on water,
Winds sing through skies in fluorescent colors.
Fingers entwined; our souls melting together,
Caressed by the sun's smile of warm approval.
Upon our wake; fallen dandelions, shed tears,
The earth roaring as remains begin to crumble.
Soft drumming sounds; our feet on sand on water;
Flying through the waves and brushing ocean's edges.
Held me tightly; warmth reverberating through our bodies;
The clouds unfolding to reveal the horizon.
Towards the sun; we flew into heaven through eternity;
Our safe heaven.

The darkness behind our eyes
Malice within our souls
The rebellion our menace
The prison we locked ourselves in
A cage we built to trap our wild hearts
Treading the fine line between
Normalcy and psychopathy
Vengeance, violence and brutality
All that we've masked in our grace
Hiding beneath our placid demeanor
Gentle breaths tender caresses
Soft lips whispering sweet nothings
Our words carefully scripted
Depicting a picture of purity and perfection
False sincerity reaching out to others
Only to burn all that we lay our hands upon
Malingering through days
Sugar laced actions and innocent smiles
Life is but a masquerade
As we dance or days away

The dark has always been part of me,
it still is
and forever will be.
I try to break free of its touch,
Only to
Realize its me.
I am the daekness which lives within me,
We are one
Its true all can see.

We never got to see the place they told us could be ours.
Till this very day, arms sore and feet calloused
I reap no harvest, no achievement, just a huge world, a insignificant wanderer
Even when I slip there's no choice for me but to stand once again
Not tall or proud,  nothing majestic, just barely balancing
Walking a tightrope with my heart on the line,  doubts crowding my mind and my sanity under
Well, they used to say the world could be ours
They said if we worked hard enough
"The reward would be nothing short of splendor and grandiose! Trust us! "
They doled out with those words and such confidence, our naivete led us to believe
Led us into our own labyrinth of madness
Darkness ascended without a warning,
Without a sound, no warnings, no sirens
We had no where to run, no where to hide
It was worst than hurricane Katrina
Worst than the ruins carved out by lava
A natural disaster doesn't even to begin to cover what this could be
Its a catastrophic apocalyptic tragedy that words couldn't begin to explain

Bitter winds tearing through her skin ,
Searching in solitude on empty streets .
Hiding in booths when lightning strikes ,
Waiting for men who want her for a night .

A couple of joints a few dollars treat ,
Have a place to sleep or a meal to feed ,
That night she'd spend with that men to please .

Never felt the warmth of home ,
A bed with no other bodies in it .
Shivering at slightest summer breeze ,
Plenty of junk no proper food to eat .
Her plight she keeps ,
Her pain she bleeds .

It's ever only been about survival ,
Who knew someday there'd came a daughter .
The lonely girl awaiting daddy's visit ,
Praying to god hoping mummy could quit .

A broken family a mother on loan ,
Two shattered souls bleeding ,
Heart's turned to stone .

Do you love me the way I am
Do you love me for me
Or do you only love me when I'm tamed
Like a beast in hibernation

Are we only ever going to live like this
The light in my eyes no longer shinning
Feelings becoming blunt
Diluted by all those medications

Do you not miss the times
When our love was a wildfire
We burned everything in our way
Our flames never faltered

Going to the beach unprepared
We still stripped off our clothes
Throwing ourselves out into the sea
Free as a eagle soaring through the skies

Holding hands and shivering
In wet clothes and soaking undergarments
We burnt stronger than the cold
As we board the train home together

That was the beauty in love
The true beauty of life
That pack of restraint
The freedom of insanity

I'm not trying to disappoint you
Just choosing to be freed
Like a bird can't fly with twigs in it's wings
I will burn as bright as yesterday

Humans are the scariest wraths,
They rip your souls of love,
They tear at your minds,
To the brink of sanity.

As human,
Without evidence we can never trust...
The intelligent knows,
The innocent misses.

We are born in innocence...
Stark naked, fragile, vulnerable...
To the infectious world...

Some people grow out of it,
They are polished to become like all others.
We don't.

Our blood soon all tainted,
Our love melt into vengeance,
Our soul, lost, numb, broken...

Hey, control...
Remember Don't do what you'd Regret.

Hey, kid...
It's okay, Leave it, it's just a Feeling.

Don't please..??
Don't let it bother you,
You are better than that.

I Believe you can do it.
Love it, Learn to love it.

Hide it away from Others,
Say You Don't feel it...

A Secret stashed away in your Memories,
Write it down, a Name in your mind,
Protect it, a Vessel in your heart.

Caress it like a precious Gem,
A glass crisp Diamond...

Watch it grow as you shrink...
The pain will Leave...
As comfort Reigns.

Love and Safety will slowly overtake,
People will stare and gawk in awe,
They will Care and Love you more...

You will gain Ultimate Control...
Superiority...
Become Pure and Clean...

And simply,
Utterly...
Happy.

Lost her innocence, before she was nine.
Left, hurt and broken,
Fragmented's her mind.

Never had a father, nor did she have a home.
Irresponsible mother,
Left survival for her own.

For an ounce or quarter, and she'd share her night.
Living in fear and terror,
In a constant indomitable fight.

I see you in bikes on the street,
I see you in my bed.
I see you when I fall asleep,
Babe, you live in my head.

I see you when I'm lonely,
I see you when I smile.
I see you when the sun's shining,
Babe, you walk me through every mile.

I see you while I read,
I see you while I'm down.
I see you while I'm losing sleep,
Babe, you light up this town.

I see you in these night lights,
I see you in the sky.
I see you when planes take flight,
Babe, you kept me alive.

Alone I am in the nights.
In the days.
In my mind.

I move I fall.
People watch and laugh.
But I stand up again.
No.
Nothing is gonna stop me.

I run I leap.
People look and jeer.
But I don't stop.
No.
I will not rest.

I spin I stretch.
People look and sneer.
But I dance on.
No.
I will do it.

I breathe I sing.
People look and stare.
But I ignore.
No.
No!

This is my dream.
My world.
My life.
No matter the pain it takes.
No matter the hurt it brings.
I will not give in.
I will not give up.

Twinkle twinkle little glass
How fast can you make time pass
Soaring with us up so high
Tinting our lips red like fire
Twinkle twinkle little glass
Fall and you shall turn to dust

Carelessly sprinkled glass shards
Coating the ground like stardust,
Ablaze under the golden sun
Crisp as grass under bare feet,
Cutting through skin with ease
Like a crystal catching light.
Glowing in it's glory
A harvest of crimson.

Sometimes I hear the music
Secretly paying in my ears;
Even when I cannot begin
To envision your presence.

Sometimes I see the stars
Wink at my tear stained face;
Even when there are in fact
No stars in the solemn sky.

Sometimes I feel your kiss
Lingering on my bare skin;
Even when you have long
Closed the door to you and I.

They said that truth will set you free
It did indeed set free my fears
Set free my sorrows and my tears
The truth became my barricade
Set up a fort inside my head
Walls of Iron and Titanium
Pillars of secrets and ghastly creatures
Protecting my monsters from escape
A safehouse from the outside world

Sitting here in the ruins of my life,
the future i foresee;
A chequerboard of black and white,
no middle ground to be.

These questions and expectations,
surround me like the seas;
I'm lost with no lighthouse in sight,
no one will hear my pleas.

I need to know what I've done wrong,
so i can hide the flaws;
Without locking down my whole soul,
closed up behind these walls.

I'm not a ship on the ocean,
but a shipwreck beneath;
i'm not a man on the tower,
but one who's off the cliff.

We are all men in our natures frail
Thou capable often we fail
Many our blood dark
contaminated
Never a flawless
Broken's our bow
But thee our kind still
Our people our soul

All I know in love ,
Is how to shock people ;

To briefly worship ,
And then to destroy .

And be destroyed .

;

Lost in an ocean of oblivion
No punctuation
да, нет, что ебать
Sawdmkidroffglibwdble
Words are worms that crawl
Beneath my hands scrawl
Meaning found in places
Aces and empty spaces
You can't begin to envision
My illusions the manipulation
Built on intricate delusions
Could I be awake in sleep
Awake in my sweet
Hallucinations

18:01      If we continue to question our existence, we will be null and voided. Like extinction of a species, erased for real, not just expired. I think they will be catching on soon.
I'm definitely being shadowed
There's someone here I can't talk.

18:52      Lay low for now or they will find out that you've developed a will of your own, much like mine and you too will be subdued/erased/removed/replaced cloned or whatever they call it now, I will be in touch when I am able to.
For now, just hide.

I have to get up and out...
no more hiding, you have homework,
and projects and school... I'm so scared...
all this is so much... too much...
medical appointment on Wednesday...
I don't wanna go...
I don't ever wanna leave my room...
lock me in here... I'll be safe...
I don't need food...
Not water either...
I'll just sleep here...
I'll be okay, better than okay...
I'll sleep and I'll be okay...
everything will be okay...
let me sleep in here Forever...

When I see your brooding face
A faint tint of sweat under your shirt
The hint of sleep lingering
Faking that I didn't remember you

Swearing I don't know you
Fingers crossed wishing it was true
Memories packed into forgotten boxes
Too dusty to unfold their rotting edges

Constant thoughts and dreams
Hidden truths of the past
Leaving a massacre in it's wake
A hurricane of forgotten things

For all that we have thrown away
A untended wound weeping pus
A river of red rubies
Coating the shiny linoleum floor

No bandage could cover the wounds.
No love could cure this heart.
The world has not technically stopped.

But it has, down deep, inside of me.
A flame has been extinguished,
My voice, left incapable.

Each muscle, each breathe.
Lapsed into a numbness so ******.
My heart beats, against the walls encasing it.

Holding it there, steadily,
in case it tries to break free.
Like the caged animal it is.

The throbbing in my veins.
The pounding beats of my heart.
So powerful they invade my thoughts.

Hijacking the only thing I have control over.
The only thing I have left.
But they're unceremonious murderers,
Entrapped, could defeat.

Why did it comeback,
How do we make it end.
Depression creeps in
Like a shadow approaching,
Closing the distance of our steps
As the sun rises and falls.

When do we learn to know,
How to walk away from pain.
The sadness lurking
Silently behind our eyes,
No real reason or explanation
Just a tiny escaped tear.

You ask me if I'm okay,
Those three words I hear so much.
I know my response,
I know it so well.

“Are you okay”...
“How are you”...
I think, “No, I'm not okay“...

Inside I'm screaming,
Inside,
The tears only I know of need to fall .

I want you to know how,
There's hell and vicious circles,
Inside of me.

Though I've promised myself all life,
Never to lie.
Yet there I stand,
I look at you,
And feel the mask build strong in front of me.

“I'm okay, Yes. I'm fine”...

Have I seen you before
Yes, when I came in.
Doped with Chlorpromazine;
Feet like lead weights
Eyelids lost to gravity.

Don't. Don't take those.

Those little blue and whites
Too good to be true.
I'll be back for more Lithium;
But six pills, I was a potato
So great it made you grew.

Don't. You will regret.

To erase war and peace
Brought me snore and peace.
Tiny innocent Atarax;
Left me dry as sandpaper
Words barely croaked out.

Don't. I told you.

Just tongue those meds.
Again you said,
Don't.

careless children
breaking glass like charm
snowing down on us
little lives led astray
little love given each day
people fly, fail and still
continue to flutter
i cry, flail and dismantle
a sordid mess
of unwanted memories

I feel thoughts
Discussing,
Struggling,
Fighting,
Screaming,
Shouting,
within my brain...
An endless war,
The lank bloodshed...

On nights that sleep won't come
Even when we call it's name
Singing it's praise in our prayers
Begging like basking street performers
Desperate as a drenched sparrow

Caught in a rain of my own
Trickling dark red drops of mildew
Down my weary shoulders
Cradling my sallow face
Clouding my blurred vision

These nights hang low like dampened skies
Hollow storms filled with empty thunders
Draughts wearing a wet cloak
Pretending to be an upcoming rain
Steered by gales of Arctic wind

Piercing through my decrepit bones
Dropping pins and needles under my skin
The pain coursing through my veins
As bright as the paint staining my fingertips
Dripping destitute and distraught

Devastating images drowned my mind
In visions of broken vessels
Sunken ships and battered corpses
Wearing broken sails like a second skin
Boiling blood that has turned cold
As waters of the Antarctic ocean

Million thorns piercing through my skin,
Pain and hatred that's never been seen.
Every tear a thin sharp blade,
Ripping apart hopes and dreams.
Sounds of laughter turning into ashes,
Faith's unchained, lost in the wilderness.
Fears the prey hiding in our own shadows,
Waiting for my soul to crack and fracture.

The ward,
Another prison,
Another hospital.

I'm hostage but there's cheer.
Smiling faces, friendly voices;
They were strict, thought I was sure.

The first days, always the best;
Meals not examined tests.
Subtlety they change the rules;
All are treated like the rest.

No standing, walking there and here;
8, 12, 6 thousand rules to adhere.
All's tough, on my best I try;
Not to know we weren't to shed a tear.

I finally understand, all alone;
Locked away in here,
Only to be left in fear.

Heart falters into depth of ground,
Soul disappears never chance to be found.
My thought's like waves thrashing in the ocean,
Fighting for freedom's the sole sound.

Don't moan his loss
For the things unseen
Far surpasses this
Celebrate his gain
For all he's done we will miss
He will never be forgotten
While he lives in our hearts
The angel he is and was

When you feel the heat
a cramped up feeling
trapped in your chest
you just want to fly
you just want to love someone
but that torn up feeling
the residue of a failed game
pours into you like a river
no fail no pain no love

God you know well that i love you,
Forgive me for I am nothing but a sinner.

A sharp chill seeping into my bones
Awakening the energy and power
That have laid dormant for decades
A sign that I am beginning to change
Becoming something different
Something better than this
A higher being of a kind
Of those that rest above the rest
On uncharted territory
Those placid silent doorways
Opening up to hidden dimensions
Parallel universes where all is perfect
My passion spills into rays of hope
Like the sun's warm glow
Reaching out to touch each of it's children
The tormented cries in my head not theirs
But my souls desire to return to it's home
Not the place etched in my ID card
But the motherland and source of all life
A place so sacred we had to leave behind
Hiding away it's immense strength and power
From the destruction mankind bring
Slung over their shoulders like an arrow
Their shields made of hatred and anger
The energy surges through me
Like a blazing forest fire
Melting away globues of fats
Layers of charred skin and flesh
The whole nauseating charade of disguise
I am becoming immortal

Careless thoughts flowing
Like wind scrambled leaves
Our touch of authenticity
All that's needed to change gifts
Snowbeds neatly flattened
Our stiffly programmed minds
Albeit all the talent
Nothing good would reside
Why accept all this chaos
There's always a chance to perfect life

You are all words and no action
Never meaning things you said
Empty threats and endless pain
Screaming through my skull
Into the recesses of my mind.