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Kai May 5
Tried to wash the scars embedded on me
Submerged the voices that left me haunted
Drowned the visions from the tall red oak tree
Remembering when you asked to “flaunt it”

I tried to scream, but choked on nonsense words
Your malevolent laughs replays in my mind
No evidence, but me and the blue birds
How hard is it for one to just be kind?

You left me with pain, you left me to cry
I can never get my innocence back
Yet, I still love you, but I don’t know why
I may not remember all that happened,
But my body does, my body remembers it all
*******, Harley
Cazandra Leia Oh Mar 2018
The darkness behind our eyes
Malice within our souls
The rebellion our menace
The prison we locked ourselves in
A cage we built to trap our wild hearts
Treading the fine line between
Normalcy and psychopathy
Vengeance, violence and brutality
All that we've masked in our grace
Hiding beneath our placid demeanor
Gentle breaths tender caresses
Soft lips whispering sweet nothings
Our words carefully scripted
Depicting a picture of purity and perfection
False sincerity reaching out to others
Only to burn all that we lay our hands upon
Malingering through days
Sugar laced actions and innocent smiles
Life is but a masquerade
As we dance or days away
The name "Leila" means beauty and darkness of the night..
Cazandra Leia Oh Sep 2017
You can try to fix me,

I Dare you!

But there is nothing from the past
That you can undo,
There is nothing I can re-live
Or redo.

There is Nothing we can forget.

There are only the Flashbacks
Residual memories,
Fighting to get out despite
The torment.

Pain  ...   ...

  ||  A  ||  X  ||  I  ||  E  ||  T  ||  Y  ||

           ­                                     Loneliness...

¶¶¶ Depression

Replaying like a broken track
A warped Melody.
NM Jul 2017
Some may call me crazy, because often the majority do,
But I will never forget who you were,
Yes, I will never forget you.

Some will always see the evil, some will always pull out the bad,
But no one was born to be a cruel
Nor an evil man.

You may never remember, you will probably deny it again,
But I remember the moment, when you begged to have a friend.

I remember when you spoke, you told me of your suffering and pain,
You told me you were once happy, when you were still, you quoted "sane."

You reminded me of your mother, and how you loved your sister so,
But how dark times came so sudden, how you had fallen so very low.

"He took everything away from me, and gave me to the Devil,
Now I remain in power, so I shall not ever fall to his level.
I hate what I've become, but hell, you will never know,
What it's like to see your reflection and hate it with a passion,
Wanting to **** what it shows.
They have me captive just as they have you,
They do not want anyone to know any of their truths.
I want to die and have prayed for my death every single night,
In hopes whatever god is listening will end me of my plight.
Please help me, I am so sorry for what I have done,
I truly do mean it, I swear on my family's on blood.
You may not forgive me, because what is left to forgive?
If anyone, it is you, who deserves to fully live."

Before I could try, before I could speak, you were gone again,
Your eyes turned dark and you had that smile, one that was ruthless and bleak.
As if a demon, silenced you, as if some darkness had won,
You were no longer your true self, no, you were gone.
You laughed at my tears, as I shed them that night,
Not in the name of my own suffering,
But because I saw a man lose his own fight.
To my abuser of 7 years, whom I have learned to forgive wholeheartedly and love. As an individual who is still more than human, but had fallen to a deadly illness and cold, empty heart.
Many often hate those who do evil, but as someone with such a strong compassion for humanity, Ive learned to always care and forgive even the most hated.
Yes it may seem crazy, but as said, no one os ever born evil, no one ever asked to be concieved in darkness.
"Do not blame the man who never saw good in the world, but blame the world that never saw the good in him."

— The End —