You are my sunshines
My three sunshines
Without you my sky's are grey
You'll never know my dears how much I miss you
Please my sunshines come back someday
The long nights while I lay sleeping
I dream I hold you in my arms
but when I wake my dears
I was mistaken
so I hang my head and I cry
You are my sunshines
my three sunshines
When you're not with me
My sky's are grey
You never know my dears
How much I LOVE YOU
PLEASE DONT TAKE MY SUNSHINES AWAY

mr sunshines here smiles are back in town
giving us a tan making us go brown
bringing lots of happiness bringing so much fun
keeping us so warm with his summer sun.

making life worthwhile making life so gay
high up in the sky sending down his ray
mr sunshines here its so nice to see
making life so happy the way that it should be

One
What’s your ethnicity, or your race?
Are you
Mexican, Filipino, Hawaiian, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Alaskan, English, Irish, Polish, Scottish, British, Brazilian, Cuban, Spaniard, Australian, Canadian, or Jamaican?
Are you something I have not listed?
Are you a combination of multiple ethnicities?
Do you not know who you are?
Still not sure what you identify with?
Or do you not consider your ethnic culture?
Do you prefer to leave behind your roots, only sticking to one true race?
Is your race
Human, Robotic, Alien, Animalia, Plante, Fungi, Bacteria, Futuristic, Untamed, Unreal, Tideborn, Winged-Elf, Elf, Earthbound, Soul, Ghost, Zombie, Magician, Wizard, Troll, Vampire, Dragon, Unicorn, Werewolf, Mysterious, or even too epic to be identified?
Though, this question itself shouldn’t really matter
For, I do not care what the color of your skin,
The identification of where your ancestors have been
Or even who you were then
I’d treat you the same

Two,
What’s the weather like in your mind?
Is it cloudy and unsafe?
Can you bear to let another thought fill up the cloud in your mind?
Or are you still intertwined,
With the thoughts you’ve let yourself get so lost in?
Is it filled with happiness, sunshines and rainbows?
Are bunnies hopping around a sea of flowers?
Can you see the sunset in the horizon and are you capable of clearing away the sad blue skies
Is it safe for me to live in there?
Because, I want to be your thoughts,
I want to show you the sun
So,
Would you mind me living in your mind?

Three,
Are you lost?
Do you wander?
Because being lost is recreation
When we continue to lose ourselves
We tend to recreate the person we are.
We tend to go near and far
We are lost wanderers in this world we call home
So if you’re lost in your thoughts,
And if you’re lost in your world
Let me guide you to a recreation of yourself
And maybe you’ll love being lost as much as I do.

Four,
What’s your world like?
Is it like the world we live on?
The world we take shelter upon?
Is it filled with misery and mayhem?
Or is it filled with peace and tranquility?

Five,
What do you see?
Can you see the darkness that surrounds our hearts?
Can you use it to strengthen the reason to basket in the light?
Do you see the destruction humanity hath brought upon the world?
Can you see it?
Or are you too blind to realize that tranquility and peace no longer exist?
That those are just delusions your mind hath made up.
That the word of the Lord has been bent and now is broken by the people you rented your beliefs to.
That the world is now in turmoil,
And soon,
Oh so soon
It’ll be destroyed by the greed you were to blind to stop

Six,
Do you regret something?
An action you have committed,
An action you have done.
Did you let all the chances slip away?
Did you let her get away?
Because I have done that
So many times I’ve stopped counting.
For if I had kept track
It would have filled up a novel entitled How to Lose Someone (and How to Repeat it)
And so many times,
I have wished I could take it all back.

Seven,
How many wished did you make?
And how many of those wishes came true?
How many falling stars, 11:11’s, eyelashes, and fountains did it take to get it through your mind that wishes don’t come true?
That without a little bit of effort,
Wishes are just meaningless words you’ve wasted your breath on.
Because for every wish I made
Reality slapped me in the back of the head,
And told me it wasn’t going to be true.

Eight,
Have you fallen in and out of love?
Did you regret falling in love in order to fall out of it again?
Did you count the ways you can tell your lover how much you loved them?
Or did you cower in the corner?
Too afraid of something, like rejection, that never existed.
Did you misplace you love?
Are you single but your heart belongs to another?
Someone in which you cannot have?
Isn’t that just how the love life works for the wicked?
We love so much
And our hearts give away,
Yet no one is there to give us theirs
So we end up the heartless
Or even the broken hearted.

Nine,
Have you cried yourself to sleep at night?
Allowing the tears to rock you to sleep
The gentle sirens of the sorrow really do know how to sing a saddened lullaby
And sometimes,
You do not awaken feeling happy,
You may just feel even more ******
But the days you fall asleep with tears in your eyes
You may find that the day has only begun
When the morning sun
Shines on

Ten,
Would you like to tell me a story?
For I have already told you mine
I would like to hear yours.

I am of human race with ethnic culture of the Philippines and Mexico
The weather in my mind is a bit bi-polar but I believe it’s a liveable one.
The world I live in causes me to get lost that I believe I’m just a wanderer
What I see are my regrets
And boy do I have a lot
I’ve made so many wishes that I have lost any hope in having it come true
And dear sir,
I believe that it is true
That falling in love, I continued to fall out of.
But I’ve lived my life like this that I do not know how to get out of it.
I’ve cried myself to sleep at night
But mostly tears awakened me.
Sunshines have come and gone
But I still a wait for the morning sun
So will you tell me a story?
Start with the beginning and end to some where
I just want to know
How much our lives can click into one.

Part I

I feel the sunshine,
The warmth and the beauty
Of it on my face.

Sunshine in my heart
Making me sing a sweet song,
A sweet melody.

Sunshine in my face,
Leaving me it's pretty grace,
Of it's love so warm.

Sunshine in my head,
Making me think of my friends,
And my parents dear.

Sunshines on you, friend,
Makes your heart light and happy,
Makes you feel carefree!

Makes you want to dance,
Through fields of everlasting
Sweet and soft flowers.

Sunshines through dark,
Making everything light,
It is day again.

Sunshine forever,
Even through dark times in your,
Beautiful-bright life!

~Marian~

I remember
Vividly those serene eyes,
Shining bright,
Emotion in them
Sparks my blood to rise

Thy teary eyes divine,
Speak with love and tenderness,
Eyes, a million stars in them
The picture of innocence.

Eyes seeking me -
Glowing,
Like that first dew,
On the new viridescent blade of grass.

Your eyes my matinal star
Your eyes my middays sunshines,
Your eyes my vespers twilight,
Your eyes an oceanic depth,
Your eyes my autumnal hues,
Your eyes wild jasmines
Fragrant at nights,
Like that sunflower
Gazing the afternoon sun.

Let the peacocks vauntingly dance,
Let the nightingales melodiously sing,
Let the flora and fauna flourish,
Like spring in prosperity,
In felicitation,
Let me always
See
Through Your Eyes

60 sunshines, 59 nightfalls till I face the day
40 topics held in to regurgitate,
**** and span for the marker man to give a brother a break.

Wait, I ain't done
Got anxiety about two more chores in head
Not to ***** and moan but *******
Getting tired of this ****
What's the point to push if you don't know where to go
Blindful blissful ignorance?

They say, and you go.
What subject?
What ever is most respected.
What job?
What ever brings financial comfort.
What about this?
Nah, you ain't good at that.

And so you sulk ever so distracted
Hearing the drip drop taps, splat on to the sink.
The metallic ting of the radiator reverberates as dormant inner silence sings.
Forever more.
A didactic sore for the ears,
Apologies in advance,
Though regardless you must hear it.

Never run to please others
Rather, focus and listen to the deep.

What are the odds of finding someone -
who can finish your sentences -
who will let you cut in line -
who knows not to just lend a hand, or an ear when you need them to give you their spine -
who will keep every secret, save every letter, tell you how you really look
who will remember every single one of your birthdays -
without checking Facebook?
What are the odds of finding someone who knows your poetry by heart ?
I will always see you for the alley-oop.
I will always save you a seat.
I will always pick you to be my partner even though you are terrible at handball.
When the fire takes all you have, my home will be your home.
When you are old and can no longer remember my face, I will meet you for the first time again and again.
When they make fun of your accent, I will take you swimming because we all sound the same underwater.
When Ellis Island tries to erase your past, I will call you by your real name.
When they call your number for the draft, I will enlist to fight beside you.
And I will march with you from Selma to Montgomery and back as many times as it takes.
We will stand together against the horses and the dogs -
They could tell you how rare this is.
But they could tell you how rare this always is.
The chances are slim.
The cards are always stacked against you, the odds are always low.
But I have seen the best of you, and the worst of you, and I choose both.
I want to share every single one of your sunshines and save some for later.
I will tuck them into my pockets so I can give them back to you when the rains fall hard.
Love-
I want to be the mirror that reminds you to love yourself.
I want to be air in your lungs that reminds you to breathe easy.
When the walls come down -
when the thunder rumbles -
when nobody else is home, hold my hand -
and I promise -
I won't let go.

What are we but rays in which makes up the sun that shines each day. Some duller or brighter than others but still there everyday showing what they have to offer. Some like to stand out and touch everything living and make them come to life. Others hide behind the shadows of the brighter lights and fear of the world as it may be or may become. I am the sun. Gathering those rays dull or bright hoping that they all stay attached and willing to feel my warmth and comfort. Til the day when that plan fails and all my rays start to slowly die off and we no longer have a sun. Just the darkness of the moon and the days that it brings.
#forever alone #never understood

It was ancient ago we were fond & foe
Once little rascals together we grew
Far apart 'till bounds forebear
Each world soared & flapped
An impending monstrous frosty gap

One fine love-is-in-the-air day in a twist of fate
As this nymph unaimed by cupid's arrow
When all my friends & beau in fun they wallow
Your sudden hailed revere embraced in haste
Then in my own prinky whimsy plot
Both unexpectedly got trapped

In such long winding tracks we hustled
Through the hurdled altar together sprinted
Both oblivious as pledge of affection consecrated
While ocean's torrent & tide waded
A solemn for-us-then-quixotic promise to keep sacred.

At some point the on-off blissful lock flutters
As life isn't all sunshines & buttercups we struggle
Yet notwithstanding the trials & tribulations
Such troth acknowledge without question
And now has the moon stone or opal
As our anniversary gemstone

Will our gemstone lose its lustre
Or will it continue to shine like a flash of lightning from heaven
Are we fiercely resolute to bid for the silver
Or stay solid firm to wish for the golden
And vow to persevere for the truly eternal diamond.

One thing we know for sure...LOVE CONQUERS ALL!

butterflies love the blood,
tumbling about in bellies,
whisk it away, the way we pray,
a bird being carried by a breeze,
lifted essence, manifested,
heart shade, finally, at ease,
signal came through,
translated to
sharpened claws,
unclenched jaws -
unthought it all while sober -

  you came as ocean, as breeze,
   as birds, as leaves,
   as hues and blues,
   sunshines and moons,
and you left as you pleased,

    opened my mouth wide to cry for you,
    praise you,
   love you, raise you above
  what I've said in silence,
  unbreak the trust I betrayed in private,

  you came as hearts, as people I've known,
  and stories never told, as whispers,
  as hugs, and as kisses,
  as melodies, repeatedly on my brain, as so,
absent of you,

      I came to know you:

butterflies love the blood,
dying slowly from the greed,
whisk it away, the way I pray,
would ask for your forgiveness,
but I know there is no need,

I feel you in the leaps
of knowing when to regret,
and when to let it be,
summon the tides stronger
aside dying suns, each day,
each night I pray for you to call upon me,
like you did when I was your favourite color,
pray for you to love the me now, and be sure of no other,

so if I adjust the pitch,
tune the sounds to form around
your wisdom, or pretty eyes,
maybe the melody will reach you again,

if not for love,
lost at sea,
then for truth,
and maybe friends we'll be,

no longer eclipsed by rumors

Your love is like rain
When it pours it could be a storm
Or it could be beautiful
Sometimes there is thunder and lighting
Sometimes it rains while the sunshines
Sometimes the rain makes the flowers grow
And sometimes it beats them down
Your love is like rain
Sometimes its good
Sometimes its bad
Your love is like rain
The earth needs rain as much as I need you
Your love is like rain

It's not until I don't have you around that I realize how much you mean to me

Every day went by wasted telling each other lies.

Trust me, you are not all fine and dandy every day, so you don't have to say that you're doing well if you're not
because I'm probably not fine ether

I really don't like how you kept things to yourself because I don't have a lot to look back on

But I guess that means I cherish every tidbit of your life that you've told me
Every sentence about your past is another puzzle piece you have given me

But I have begun to realize that this puzzle will always have some missing pieces

I used to be part of your future and in that singular moment I was a part of your present, but then I quickly became part of your past

I wanted so badly to become your friend-your partner in crime

You were hesitant, a little on the shy side

But now all we have to do is look at each other to understand each other's thoughts and feelings

I used to hide behind an imaginary shield because I thought there is no way someone like you would be friends with me
But then you slowly peeled away my shell and left me bare for you to take care of and I thank you for that

When you strutted into my life, your poise and properness took me by surprise because there aren't too many people in this society who still say yes mam and no sir to their parents

You taught me that it's not what's on the outside that counts
It's what's buried deep within your  heart that only shows it's true colors every once in a while
Before a race
After a long practice
Or maybe in the middle when all you want to do is laugh

It's these irrelevant moments when your true self shows

You signed onto osu today
I have been secretly wishing for this moment ever since you were applying to colleges
I am now reassured that our relationship won't end when states roll around this season
You promised to come to my meets at osu and I promised to visit whenever I see my sister

Your name means blessed and it fits your personality perfectly
You never take anything for granted

But don't ever be afraid because no matter what happens we will always be cheering you on from behind

I will always be here to cheer you up when you're down

When you leave and have to place to go I will welcome you into my home

I want hold onto your sunshines and save some for later and give them back to you when the rain falls hard
Because I've seen the best of you and the worst of you and I choose both

When we grow old and you are gone and the only memories I can remember are your smiles
I will always keep them in my heart forever

Because it's not until you're gone that I realize how much you mean to me

All her waking life she thinks in shades of inadequacy
It’s a shame that she can’t see all the beautiful things I see in her
The beauty of life that lives and breathes inside her
(Like) she’s got martini eyes framed with supernovas
Galaxies of city & colours radiating like an illuminating beacon
A Maine lighthouse on the edge of a cliff overlooking the coast,
The guiding eye of beaming light brilliantly shining
Along the rocky shoreline of her mind
It’s a complex thing inside libraries and randomness sometimes

But don’t look away for too long or you may miss
How she times her life on the withering ashes of cigarettes
And how many Dispute The Horizon With Me songs
It takes to pull into the parking lot at her work
Says it takes one cigarette to get to the freeway
Two if she’s feeling adventurous
And track number eight when Jordan Sykes shouts:

‘Love is the blood splatter of our liberty,
Seeping out of Cadaver grins and Chelsea smiles
Unshakable in our solemn vows of serpentine addiction,
The feelings we inked with heartached hands are mutual,
Darling’

She’s the kind of girl with a nervous lip-biting laugh
Laughing when I tell her it’s better than eight cigarettes and one song
She liquates tornadoes of wished away secrets
When she whispers moods of hushed sultriness in my ear
Sending shivers up and down my spine and making me feel alive
It’s all I can do to sit here and resist her sometimes
Says she doesn’t want to be treated like an animal
Even tho she loves every animal alive today
And shares a remembered heartache for those that died

(So I abide and put in my time
Causing getting to see a girl this celestial
is like seeing stars streaking across a newly born sky)

She dreams of slinging seashell butterflies and necklaces made from sunshine
Living her life down on the beach with the ocean always to her front side
Says she wants sunshines and sea salt, deep endless oceans rolling
Wants the ability to just leave it all behind if she feels the urge
Her spirit will explode with fragments of violets and high magenta
Lighting up late night beach bonfires and deep endless ocean waves

Says these are only dreams tho and as much as she’d like
She just can’t seem to get over some past her’s karmatic escapes
But she’s going to keep on dreaming cause dreaming can help
Says today she’ll dream in moonshines
And maybe tomorrow she’ll have her sunshine

(I tell her if she had my eyes she could do anything she wanted to do
And that her sunshine supernova is already radiantly shining within her)

What We Are: by Dakota Pizzi

Have you ever wondered how the wind howls through the trees?
Or why the leaves tremble in the breeze?
Theres no use to wonder,
No rhyme or reason too.
It just makes sense like me and you.

And 'though the cold winds comin down,
The snow is burying us in.
I know the sun will shine again,
Just like it always did.

Its like asking why the sunshines as it comes over the hill,
Or why the earth moves slowly at its own will.
Theres no way to calculate,
Its just meant to be,
Thats why you belong with me.

We are the wind speaking through the trees,
We are the sun coming up to please,
Theres no reason to wonder why we are what we are, its the way its meant to be,
Yes, it's the way its meant to be.

Words like water,
oh how the speech can delay.
Dripping eloquent but lost to rivers,
indulged in deluge,
overwhelmed in expression, comments and decree.
I want you here,
oceans away.

How can I touch the chatter,
be diluted in a voice.
Move me with your extract,
alluded, trembling from afar.
Waking up to different sides of the moon
I need you here,
sunshines away.

and the blades from petals still stabbed
like it was torture
though it crumbled in effect
why the trouble for pistol flowers
when aching is within a splinter.

Something so beautiful,
lost to an operating system.
Quiet rumbles, not big enough
to make a sound.
Even if I screamed,
my vocals typed to characters,
you would not,
could not hear my strain.

Efflorescence,
our love it blooms.
Flourished in email, video plays, stills.
Across the ocean I came,
to wake up in the sunshine,
with the moon at our side.

Sprouting up new love,
greater than we thought equip.
Even through storms, snow, rain,
I am ecstatic here,
your body I call my house,
your smile I call my home.

Where are you now?
When I need you most....

Where are you now?
My darling I feel lost....

Captured in these nightmares,
People seem to dream....

Where are you now?
You and me, we were the greatest team....

But you left,
Left me in this grey....

Your sunshines,
I forget, each passing day....

The way your eyes just shined,
And brighten up my life....

A letter from a widow,
Wishing she was still a wife....

-ZvZ-

Has it been that long since I saw you last?
A breathe of fresh air from my past.
Warren street on a Fall Friday night...
Just you, me, a waning moonlight.

Leafs falling softly from the maples above,
Walking Sidewalks of grey With my ladylove
Our time together was..................
Percy's takes the words right off my lips...

( When
        A
          Man
              Loves
                ­A
                  Woman)

I can only hope you made it past our love affair
Cause deep down I'm still smelling your hair,
I'd like to keep you here with me baby.
Letting you go one day seemed so crazy!

Let's forget those lines I just erased,
Way to ******* for this old mans taste
Let's leave it at this..you made me so very happy
Cause When the sunshines..I know we'll both be stronger!

can we hide from these dark secrets all our life?
can you change into a beautiful butterfly over night?
can you stay with me until the sunshines?
can you say youll be mine for the rest of our lives?
can we have a family and stay together till we die?
can you switch places with me and let me drive that car?
can I bring you back?
can I help your family?
can you forgive me?
im sorry I think not

I'm hurting
I don't show it-I smile sunshines at you
I laugh but inside I'm hurting so bad
I look at your smiling face, hear your laughter, I smell your scent and imagine her doing the same and
I'm hurting
I hear your promises, your I love you's, your forevers and
I'm hurting
I know that once you looked at her the same way you look at me, that the things you do with me and the way you kiss me and by God
I'm hurting
Knowing you've discovered the unknown with her, that your writings and knowledge is from her, that at one point you gave her your heart so easily, that I'm just second
I'm hurting
that one day you can let go of me as easily as you let go of her, that one day you'll want to run back to her because she's given you more than I ever could
My insides being ripped apart, my throat shut, my eyes pouring
I'm hurting
Because second place still doesn't win
And that how I know I love you, although now I'm not even sure what love is

Tom said that my name sounds like an exotic flower meets medicine.
Tom said the love he witnessed in me gave him hope.
Tom said he'd make it to my wedding, because I promised he would be the flower boy.
Tom said he had a dream that I was kidnapped and he was trying to save me.
That was the last thing Tom said to me.

And I'm writing about him because I don't know what else to do to remember him;
to give him some sort of tribute of my emotion outside of clutching my chest;
to even allow myself to think about him at all.
But writing is how we met, so this is where I will keep him alive.

Tom had a full name that sounded like an old-fashioned fancy inventor.
He spoke with quick Irish wit, and every time we messaged I would imagine the day
that I could ask him to get on the phone with me so I could hear that accent for myself,
and I tried to picture his face from the two pictures I ever saw of it,
and I daydreamed about seeing a kooky smile while he held out his arms yelling,
"Duckie!!!"
He never called me anything else,
and I never came up with a nickname for him quite as splendid.

Tom told me to find him a Russian man.
He told me he had a dream that he had an unreciprocated crush on me.
(I told him I would never be so rude about it, though.)
It was apparently meant to be, however, when he "accidentally flirted" from autocorrect once.
One time he messaged me at 2am just to ask what "totes" meant.
He sent me terribly-drawn doodles of me, him, and ducks (of course)
that made him laugh so hard at himself he could hardly type,
and those times were my favorite.
I'm thinking about putting one of them on my wall, but it makes me sad to think I couldn't tell him about it.

I never did tell you what I do in the mornings, about the things I hate the most, or about all my tiny ticks.
If I wasn't so ill, I might have remembered to message you more -
then again, I figured we had the rest of our lives for our friendship.
That phrase feels sickeningly familiar in my mouth.
Colorado is where my friends go to die, it seems.

"How's your lade?"
"You are the dotiest together."
"You two are my sunshines."
"Your love gives me hope in the world."

Late nights filled with panic and unease, the kind only love can instill in you,
and calm messages back from him that told me to keep doing what I'm doing -
she's going to be alright.
And I'm trying to believe that, Tom, I'm trying to believe that with all my heart
but you're six feet under from the same thing that threatens to take my beloved from me
so I'm not sure how to believe you now.
You don't know what I would give to hear from you tonight,
to hear, "she's going to be alright, you're doing all the right things"
to hear, "I'm going to be alright, you're doing all the right things."
I told you I would fight for you with all I have, but I knew what I have isn't a lot right now.
I couldn't do much for you.
I hope with all my might it's enough for her.
(and finally, since the night I was told they pulled the plug, I can cry.)

I didn't get to say goodbye. two weeks before you took yourself from me,
I sent you "goodnight" and "I miss you" and "sleep good" and "we'll talk soon"
…I suppose all but the last is close enough.
(I'll probably always carry a pocket of regret that six days before that,
I never received a notification to your reply.)

you once wrote to me about love and small fonts
and I will never forget the first time i read it and my heart stopped
because you Knew, you understood when I have never even told you.
I'm chasing so many tails of uncertainty now, my dear,
but I will try to remember I can find that I am Loved.

though i wanted to be the toughest on the block
i didnt get a check til i was face to face with a glock
**** i hear deaths tick tock
beforehe pop
he gave me some mercy?
maybe it was the lord speakin' to me?
through telekinesis
now i gotta prepare for this thesis
scatter my drama like reeses
better believe they'll be back again like a whistle in the wind
times goes on life flows on
and ill be rappin' til they early morn
cant stop wont stop the music
its in my soul down for this ghetto blues
gotta short fuse but dont loose
control my mind and body
gotta focus killuminati
aint nobody takin' **** from me
ill die for this **** my family
thugs og to tg and the little homies
who gotta push dope in the blocks
in the late night yea the ghettos in a struggle
but them ******* canr even see it with a hubble
as i bust like a bubble ya know im addicted to trouble
yea we dont give a ****
about the law
51 states with a million plus ****** dawnin' an AK
takin' heed to the words i say
and let the blood spray
it was a good day dont go astray
even though we get worried
just tradin' a little tasteof war stories


Rest in peace
To all the homies deceased
As the ****** rates increase
I can hear the painful heartbeats
Of the families that be mourning
Til the early morning
Uh wish i could change the worlds view
But most of our minds is see through
Cant build a foundation
Cuz the feds cut off our communication
Break through litigations
**** im spendin' cash
Just cuz the courts get a sensation
Crooked *** system still in segregation
I got mad aggravation
So my ammo is store galore
Just incase u muthaphukkaz want warrrr
See me soar
Over these cowards like eagles
In my thousand yard stare
You can see a glare
Of my death images inside my head
Im hurt from all the pain
Ask my passed kinfolks
We still in the same gang
Which i could hang
With my homies on the block
Who was murdered by the nine
As the sunshines
Bright the next day
I feel my judgment day coming soon
Open wombs cant yield the bleed
When i bust ill make the whole nation fatigue
My mind feeds
Off knowledge of the books
Check out these crookes
Power to black man
Aint no loot for us in Afghanistan
Or Iraq dont hold back
As make a new category  
Just a trade of a war story

At last
A solitary moment
My eyes are so weary and happy.

Like painted colors on fire
Swishing and zooming by
Beautiful heightened moments
I look around me and the pit of my stomach
So full of warmth, the deepest love
I'm here, doing exactly what I am meant to be doing.

Leaping off the stage
I took myself home last night
I tried to find and scrounge your name
But I was too drink
To figure out how to unblock you.

My women, my ladies
They hold me accountable and lift me up
My face radiates with moon beams and sunshines
Even on my cloudy days
Because life is always better when surrounded with joy.

I heard you weren't gonna come tomorrow night

And I'm glad.

The truth is
Its easier to decide to not like you
And a part of me is sorry
I'm even writing about you.

But maybe I'm not.

Sleep, sleep you are so near
I'll greet the sun tomorrow
I talk to myself, chant and cheer
"Everything is great. You are wonderful."
Self love medicate.

I don't know.
I feel like I think that phrase often
But I jump and dive into it all
With an open heart, open lungs, open eyes
I coach myself through the hard times
And I know I can't be perfect all the **** time
I stop searching for my soul mate
As my dark haired raven women around me
And my Philly moon army blows kisses from their incredible lives
The word beauty is not even enough to encompass it all.


Living and existing
Do it with the utmost love.

Stop that.
Stop thinking that I'm still looking for your eyes in the crowd.
Stop reminiscing everything that we've been through together
Stop thinking about how I'd still fell for you even when you're with her.

Stop every little things you do to make me feel like I haven't grown apart from you,
Like I've never written a hundred poems
And burned them in the pile of all our memories.
Stop making me feel like everything I did to kept you away from me wasn't enough to even let me breathe easily, to get any clear air into my lungs.
Stop making me feel defeated, again.

I am not weak anymore
I will not stand down for you
I'm not going to ******* call you again in another 4 months.
****, please let me move on from a life without storms and hurricanes, without rain and sickening sunshines, please let me live without *you

I've seen the days of thunder
I've seen the eves of rain
I've rejoiced the sunshines
I've crawled in the frozen dusk
In thy naivety...
Thought the thunder was better
than the rain?
Or the sun was better than the haze?
What caused thy thunder, sunshine,  rain and the mist
Doth not even exist?
Veiled in the cloak of ignorance
Believed thou prisoned a free soul
Truth be uttered ,  none but thee became the prisoner of nothingness

Waking up to calendars to dos
To kids to yous
To video calls to wars
Waking up to history

Waking up to waking ups
Having coffees having breaths
Having work
Talking projects
Celsius
Sunshines
Cats and cups
Books and bills
Loves and lives

Waking up to walking corners
Zebra crosses
Goals and grades
Exams and exits
Curtains and mirrors
And miracles
On the membrane of times