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"shrug" poems
They ask me if I still love you. I blush, grin and say; of course. Why? Because your eyes are of the most utter ocean blue, but other days they're the currents of the stormy grey sea. I see a current of salty water, deep, once blue, but now a faded grey. I see a bundle of darkened grey clouds in the distance, and the thunder rumbles from your irises, and I hear it pound in the back of my mind. I wonder if you knew. I see a spark of lightening flash, only once in a while, while you look at her. My throat corrodes with bile. She says she sees green demons lurking in the depth of my own ocean currents, and I shrug. What am I supposed to say? I know you think about her. Night and day. The hardest part, is a generic, old saying. If you love them, you let them go. If they love you enough to stay, or to come back, you never let go. But you haven't come back.
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Nov 29, 2012
Nov 29, 2012 at 12:15 AM UTC
They ask me if I still love you.
*here's how it happens the morning after you reach into the drawer where the your t-shirts live to find it austere you'll shrug because you're still drunk & you can't remember when last it was that you had something wet or how long it's been since you made the floorboards blush or why the carpet is upset who wouldn't be the contents to the upended ashtray strewn around the apartment resemble the aftermath of the smallest war to ever take place in norfolk some midnight thief must've made off with the lighter because it isn't in any of your favorite spots maybe you chucked it along with a hundred other things that make noise when they land in the neighbors yard you won't remember putting the refrigerator's belongings in the bathtub or scrawling a buzzard on the bedroom door but then again who would you'll pretend it's spring again before putting on your winter coat to go out front with a cigarette in your mouth you'll hope for a passing stranger to *** a light from or drag yourself to the corner with couch cushion change to buy a new lighter and on your way you won't bother looking back this is just another day on eggshells for no reason another november choking on birthday candles on your way home you step over beer cans the kind you fell in love with and wonder who had the last laugh last night or if anyone said a word at all it might've been another moment of clarity it might have been some idiot savant any adjective that feels like home anything that keeps you thirsty*
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Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 10:30 PM UTC
plain as day
*here's how it happens the morning after you reach into the drawer where the your t-shirts live to find it austere you'll shrug because you're still drunk & you can't remember when last it was that you had something wet or how long it's been since you made the floorboards blush or why the carpet is upset who wouldn't be the contents to the upended ashtray strewn around the apartment resemble the aftermath of the smallest war to ever take place in norfolk some midnight thief must've made off with the lighter because it isn't in any of your favorite spots maybe you chucked it along with a hundred other things that make noise when they land in the neighbors yard you won't remember putting the refrigerator's belongings in the bathtub or scrawling a buzzard on the bedroom door but then again who would you'll pretend it's spring again before putting on your winter coat to go out front with a cigarette in your mouth you'll hope for a passing stranger to *** a light from or drag yourself to the corner with couch cushion change to buy a new lighter and on your way you won't bother looking back this is just another day on eggshells for no reason another november choking on birthday candles on your way home you step over beer cans the kind you fell in love with and wonder who had the last laugh last night or if anyone said a word at all it might've been another moment of clarity it might have been some idiot savant any adjective that feels like home anything that keeps you thirsty*
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59
In Spanish, VIVIR means To Live, the proper conjugation of which to when you say something as improper as “I live” would simply be translated to “Yo Vivo”. I live, as a Colombian-American. I live, as “You don’t look Hispanic” I live, “Woah! You and your brother look nothing alike. You’re so… white.” I live, “My mom came home once and talked about a man who simply replied with a horribly pronounced “Me gusta” when my mom said she was Hispanic.” I live, “My dad condones abusive behavior because he thinks Latina aggression is **** I live, my mom asking me “Would you rather celebrate the Sweet Sixteen or have a quinceanera party?” I live, as the white boy sitting across the room in Spanish class asking “When will I need this in real life?” I live, as the “Yes I DO have a friend with a skin complexion similar to mine, and yes, he is Hispanic.” I live, most of my friends are beautiful people of color. I live, when will you open up the tab in Google and search some Hispanic History to fill your mind instead of “Latina **** I live, the messages on the Internet saying “You’re Hispanic? I bet you’re great in bed.” I live, there are NO gender neutral nouns in Spanish I live, yes I DO love coffee I live, no it did NOT stunt my growth I live, one kiss per cheek at family meet-ups I live, “Eskimo” nose rubs I live, "if you’re hispanic, why aren’t your ears pierced?" I live, being expected to remember Spanish just because it was my first language, but growing up with an American dad made me whiter than fresh bed-sheets sold in America, made in South America, Hecha en Peru. I live, my mom breaking into tears as she is so proud that I can sing in Spanish I live, my mom used to be so embarrassed, when I replied “un poco” to her friends asking “Tu Hablas Espanol?” I live, "if you’re Hispanic, is your mom an Alien?" I live, "But your dad looks so white!" I live, being subject to racism hidden in a joke, hidden in a remark about how pale I am, hidden behind a judgmental look, hidden behind a scoff, a laugh, a pity shrug, a fetishized assumption. I live the bulletproof clothing and horrible crimes I am warned about when I say I wanna go to Colombia I wanna go to my mom’s home. I live, as a Colombian-American. I live. Yo vivo.
0
Dec 28, 2015
Dec 28, 2015 at 8:19 PM UTC
I live, Yo Vivo
In Spanish, VIVIR means To Live, the proper conjugation of which to when you say something as improper as “I live” would simply be translated to “Yo Vivo”. I live, as a Colombian-American. I live, as “You don’t look Hispanic” I live, “Woah! You and your brother look nothing alike. You’re so… white.” I live, “My mom came home once and talked about a man who simply replied with a horribly pronounced “Me gusta” when my mom said she was Hispanic.” I live, “My dad condones abusive behavior because he thinks Latina aggression is **** I live, my mom asking me “Would you rather celebrate the Sweet Sixteen or have a quinceanera party?” I live, as the white boy sitting across the room in Spanish class asking “When will I need this in real life?” I live, as the “Yes I DO have a friend with a skin complexion similar to mine, and yes, he is Hispanic.” I live, most of my friends are beautiful people of color. I live, when will you open up the tab in Google and search some Hispanic History to fill your mind instead of “Latina **** I live, the messages on the Internet saying “You’re Hispanic? I bet you’re great in bed.” I live, there are NO gender neutral nouns in Spanish I live, yes I DO love coffee I live, no it did NOT stunt my growth I live, one kiss per cheek at family meet-ups I live, “Eskimo” nose rubs I live, "if you’re hispanic, why aren’t your ears pierced?" I live, being expected to remember Spanish just because it was my first language, but growing up with an American dad made me whiter than fresh bed-sheets sold in America, made in South America, Hecha en Peru. I live, my mom breaking into tears as she is so proud that I can sing in Spanish I live, my mom used to be so embarrassed, when I replied “un poco” to her friends asking “Tu Hablas Espanol?” I live, "if you’re Hispanic, is your mom an Alien?" I live, "But your dad looks so white!" I live, being subject to racism hidden in a joke, hidden in a remark about how pale I am, hidden behind a judgmental look, hidden behind a scoff, a laugh, a pity shrug, a fetishized assumption. I live the bulletproof clothing and horrible crimes I am warned about when I say I wanna go to Colombia I wanna go to my mom’s home. I live, as a Colombian-American. I live. Yo vivo.
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28
Falling in love with someone who is bipolar will never be easy. There will be minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months where I'm unexplainably mean, or recklessly happy.   For a period of time, I may be all over you and want to smother you in my aforementioned reckless happiness, that I will forget to ask how you're doing and if you ate anything today. I will forget that unlike me, you need to sleep for 9 hours a day and that you're not fully ready to take on the world. At some point, I will take a turn for the worst and will mope in unbelievable sorrow due to the death of my false happiness. I will cry about everything and will stop calling, and forget to remind you that I love you so much and just need some time away. My deep sadness will soon turn into unrelenting anger and I will tell you abusive things that I don't really mean. I will be confused as to why I say them, and apologize a million times and try to explain that I can't control my anger, and that I need to leave and be away from people for a while, although I know nothing will really help. You will insist that it's okay and tell me you love me. For days, weeks, or months, I will do this, and you will soon think I am lying and think that I am just genuinely terrible. My constant apologies will become nothing and you will soon distance yourself and start falling out of love, but still have a glimmer of hope. After this episode, I will have a period where I feel nothing and am almost robot-like. You will feel unwanted and unloved and look at me with such sad eyes and get nothing but a shrug and a half-assed "sorry." When you finally walk away,  I will have more bad days than good days because I will regret not saying I love you more. I will hate myself for being bipolar. I will fall back into my bad habits and soon you will be a distant memory.
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Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 10:50 AM UTC
Loving Someone Who is Bipolar
Falling in love with someone who is bipolar will never be easy. There will be minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months where I'm unexplainably mean, or recklessly happy.   For a period of time, I may be all over you and want to smother you in my aforementioned reckless happiness, that I will forget to ask how you're doing and if you ate anything today. I will forget that unlike me, you need to sleep for 9 hours a day and that you're not fully ready to take on the world. At some point, I will take a turn for the worst and will mope in unbelievable sorrow due to the death of my false happiness. I will cry about everything and will stop calling, and forget to remind you that I love you so much and just need some time away. My deep sadness will soon turn into unrelenting anger and I will tell you abusive things that I don't really mean. I will be confused as to why I say them, and apologize a million times and try to explain that I can't control my anger, and that I need to leave and be away from people for a while, although I know nothing will really help. You will insist that it's okay and tell me you love me. For days, weeks, or months, I will do this, and you will soon think I am lying and think that I am just genuinely terrible. My constant apologies will become nothing and you will soon distance yourself and start falling out of love, but still have a glimmer of hope. After this episode, I will have a period where I feel nothing and am almost robot-like. You will feel unwanted and unloved and look at me with such sad eyes and get nothing but a shrug and a half-assed "sorry." When you finally walk away,  I will have more bad days than good days because I will regret not saying I love you more. I will hate myself for being bipolar. I will fall back into my bad habits and soon you will be a distant memory.
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13
You like to say love disappeared. And I swear it never left, but she talk like Kanye "Ima let you finish" shrug her shoulders; cut me off, Swift.     Drinks on the table it was no one else's business, Henny in my system there was no one else who witnessed how she never took a breath like a run on sentence so I'm in the club flexing working on my fitness; arms out stretched on my chest crucifixion.     I'm forgiven but could never get a word in not even one syllable I'm talking in synonyms I, never ever nevermore, words with friends.  Triple word how absurd you be trippin **** on my Instagram insecurity I'm tired of it I'm with my Boys chillin rarely smoked but might burn a spliff; ease the pain so insane major Payne fatigue is in.       I got a glimpse of future, I use to, try to hit you up reconnect, bluetooth, I'm in her ear lying for the *** I miss you, she on top giving me the truth: this all you.  But **** it though I'm not trynna be your man, but when she leaving out for work I be sleepin in and when she home I tax that *** like I'm Uncle Sam nothing ever change so after head she be at my neck next     Flashback to the present --and-- she still telling me how I don't get it stressed unproductive in her presence, you not even in front of me I'm still tasting lemons; Yo, my star player wants a trade should I let her go? cut too deep for bandaids should I let it flow.       Throwback to the past vampire clothes but the blood different I'm a sucker for that red though: she was floating 6 inches from the earth floor, you's a victim baby true blood, spoil us!  Show Me What You Got lil mama let your "Kingdom Come" dressed in all black spending money black republican?  Awesome and some; I was sliding home she was catching, clamping; say I turn her on like a touch screen, Samsung; with a touch of color you would disobey your mother as I slid under your covers mid-day massages "Midnight Maunders" at least that's how it use to be, now Award Tour got her trippin almost frequently we use to fight for love she said now she a causality!         "and how you gonna make this bout you it's about me, phone ringing since 1am it's about 3   thought you was slick huh, thought I was sleep, you **** right love disappeared" but she never leaves. She's still waiting to exhale, but she never breaths.
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May 13, 2014
May 13, 2014 at 10:18 PM UTC
Ex-Boyfriend **** Boy] (Spoken Word)
You like to say love disappeared. And I swear it never left, but she talk like Kanye "Ima let you finish" shrug her shoulders; cut me off, Swift.     Drinks on the table it was no one else's business, Henny in my system there was no one else who witnessed how she never took a breath like a run on sentence so I'm in the club flexing working on my fitness; arms out stretched on my chest crucifixion.     I'm forgiven but could never get a word in not even one syllable I'm talking in synonyms I, never ever nevermore, words with friends.  Triple word how absurd you be trippin **** on my Instagram insecurity I'm tired of it I'm with my Boys chillin rarely smoked but might burn a spliff; ease the pain so insane major Payne fatigue is in.       I got a glimpse of future, I use to, try to hit you up reconnect, bluetooth, I'm in her ear lying for the *** I miss you, she on top giving me the truth: this all you.  But **** it though I'm not trynna be your man, but when she leaving out for work I be sleepin in and when she home I tax that *** like I'm Uncle Sam nothing ever change so after head she be at my neck next     Flashback to the present --and-- she still telling me how I don't get it stressed unproductive in her presence, you not even in front of me I'm still tasting lemons; Yo, my star player wants a trade should I let her go? cut too deep for bandaids should I let it flow.       Throwback to the past vampire clothes but the blood different I'm a sucker for that red though: she was floating 6 inches from the earth floor, you's a victim baby true blood, spoil us!  Show Me What You Got lil mama let your "Kingdom Come" dressed in all black spending money black republican?  Awesome and some; I was sliding home she was catching, clamping; say I turn her on like a touch screen, Samsung; with a touch of color you would disobey your mother as I slid under your covers mid-day massages "Midnight Maunders" at least that's how it use to be, now Award Tour got her trippin almost frequently we use to fight for love she said now she a causality!         "and how you gonna make this bout you it's about me, phone ringing since 1am it's about 3   thought you was slick huh, thought I was sleep, you **** right love disappeared" but she never leaves. She's still waiting to exhale, but she never breaths.
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26
T'was the night before Christmas The gifts were all wrapped When the smell, well...it hit me Our new puppy had crapped I knew I could smell it It was not just a **** The puppy had dropped one I awoke with a start I could hear a slight rustle As he went to his bed But, the smell made me nauseous And it turned my eyes red I could hear a slight jingle From the dog tags he wore It was then that I found it In the hall, by the door I had not put on slippers I had not hit the light I just hope I could see it Try as I might But, as puppy bombs go this was one for the ages It had started out loose And had grown in three stages My foot found it first And before I could halt It was between my toes And it wasn't his fault If I'd turned on the light I'd have seen it, no sweat But, now, I was hopping With a foot, brown and wet I was off to the bathroom Hopping mad, so to speak when from out of my bedroom I heard "What's that reek?" It was worse than it started Now, I'd helped it along It was me, now in trouble And somehow, that was wrong Down in the kitchen I could hear the dog snore While, I was still hopping On one foot by the door My wife, said "go shower" And clean up the rug I hopped to the bathroom And sat down, with a shrug It was the night before Christmas I should be out like a log But, this is my life Because I own a dog....
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Dec 22, 2015
Dec 22, 2015 at 11:53 PM UTC
A puppy's christmas
i am seven and in your living room with antiques & photographs of family that are more like strangers and handshakes at christmas there is a jar of circus peanuts by the armchair and i remember being told that these are here because they are never out of stock and that *they are the only things children will not want to take from me* i still do not like the color orange. i am eight and round the bannister to an upstairs that reminds me of heaven in that place i can't go sort of way & i am knuckle deep in your pumpkin pie wiping it on my uncles suede jacket our hands still shake but the jury is still out on if he looks at me and napkins the same i hope you do not sleep with my apologies under your fingernails i will not say them out loud i know i should have mowed your lawn i should have been a home for second hand smoke if i could go back i would be your ashtray i remember the day you forgot who i was i bound into the room and throw my arms around you like an armistice and you ask who i am we are not in church but everyone stops singing i am passed from child to child while we all laugh but my lungs feel like they've been mugged in an ally who's son does he look like, mom? my father says like gospel you pull on your cigarette sip from your watered down wine and shrug and i am neck deep in forgetfulness i imagine alzheimer's as being born again every day so, we will spend ages looking at captions to photographs telling your stories to strangers as my father begins to forget and when i imagine probate an unfamiliar hand unfolding a will to be read to wayward angels i want to burn down the house and sleep in the ashes
0
Mar 17, 2014
Mar 17, 2014 at 3:00 PM UTC
hallelujah
i am seven and in your living room with antiques & photographs of family that are more like strangers and handshakes at christmas there is a jar of circus peanuts by the armchair and i remember being told that these are here because they are never out of stock and that *they are the only things children will not want to take from me* i still do not like the color orange. i am eight and round the bannister to an upstairs that reminds me of heaven in that place i can't go sort of way & i am knuckle deep in your pumpkin pie wiping it on my uncles suede jacket our hands still shake but the jury is still out on if he looks at me and napkins the same i hope you do not sleep with my apologies under your fingernails i will not say them out loud i know i should have mowed your lawn i should have been a home for second hand smoke if i could go back i would be your ashtray i remember the day you forgot who i was i bound into the room and throw my arms around you like an armistice and you ask who i am we are not in church but everyone stops singing i am passed from child to child while we all laugh but my lungs feel like they've been mugged in an ally who's son does he look like, mom? my father says like gospel you pull on your cigarette sip from your watered down wine and shrug and i am neck deep in forgetfulness i imagine alzheimer's as being born again every day so, we will spend ages looking at captions to photographs telling your stories to strangers as my father begins to forget and when i imagine probate an unfamiliar hand unfolding a will to be read to wayward angels i want to burn down the house and sleep in the ashes
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50
Send my dreams to the paper press I've got too much to confess This whole mind is a mess And it's mine It's all I could find As I was spending too much time Screaming and crying **** my brothers in the Middle East Let their souls be released As the mongrel dogs have a peaceful feast On our blood Down in the mud When it's someone you don't love You don't even shrug Break my bones over color pride Don't you see what I have inside? For my thoughts, I must die Or else I'm a joke Lost within the smoke If I'm not rich then I must be broke A dying man unknown Make the streets a place of peace Instead of hate and bombing grease Power only makes us weak To ourselves To you and myself Take a long look at yourself And you can tell The morning comes and someone's gone Sent away to a funeral song They lost their life being young And still bright Now they only see the night As their mother tries to sleep at night Without life I'm dead and gone someday soon But still I love each sun and moon As they pass over my room I kneel down I start to look around I start to love everything I've found And I'm proud
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Nov 26, 2015
Nov 26, 2015 at 8:40 PM UTC
Death and Apathy
The power of music and friendship heals dead connections; a well-meaning member of a jam session offers me a guitar. I politely decline, embarrassed by my disability, and they shrug.  Your choice. The familiar curves beneath my arm like a woman from my past, my amnesiac left hand reaches for the muscle memory of fifty years' practice. After an agonizing minute, the G chord miraculously plays, as I played it at five, the three big fingers alone strong enough to hold it. The switch to C impossible; so I play a variation. Doesn't sound bad with the group. My God, I might play a D7 by the next time it comes around in the song. The gang is playing old standards, Ohio State music; three chords and a cloud of dust, which suits my present skill(?) well. I almost cried when a few tunes later, we sang A Horse With No Name to my accompaniment. Beethoven was deaf, yet heard the Ode To Joy. Hawking is paralyzed, and travels the universe. I have three good fingers, and no good excuses.
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Sep 5, 2016
Sep 5, 2016 at 11:45 AM UTC
tie it to my hand
What would I do for you?  There's lots of things, actually I would spontaneously start speaking Hungarian for you...but it probably would sound like nonsense and some Hungarian dude    Would be all like "Haver, nem beszél magyarul"         I would shrug, because                        I don't know Hungarian... But I'd still do it for you, if you wanted me to. I would fly us to ancient Mayan burial grounds, where we could    Learn all about a lost culture            We would run into a cursed                                     Mayan Chief, but he'd actually be pretty cool                          He would teach us how to do a rain dance,          Every once in awhile he'd look at you and say "kíichpan"       and I'd be like..."Dude, back off..."                        He's like 2000 years old...                                                               He's way too old for you. I would carve you an Ice Sculpture in your likeness         Taking care to make sure that every detail was perfect and reflected                        Your beauty                               In every possible way.      I'm not too good at Ice Sculpting, though, so it might just end up looking                            Like an oddly-shaped block of ice.       Sorry...             I hope you would like it anyway For you, I would count to infinity      Which might not sound like a feat, at first    But then I would count back to zero   I'm pretty sure no one's done that before....      I won't be able to do it all in one day So it might take awhile...                   Hope you don't mind waiting for me     I would write poetry every day for you             Because I know that I would never run out of things           To write about ....Well, maybe every 'other' day.
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Jan 2, 2012
Jan 2, 2012 at 2:55 PM UTC
What I would do
What would I do for you?  There's lots of things, actually I would spontaneously start speaking Hungarian for you...but it probably would sound like nonsense and some Hungarian dude    Would be all like "Haver, nem beszél magyarul"         I would shrug, because                        I don't know Hungarian... But I'd still do it for you, if you wanted me to. I would fly us to ancient Mayan burial grounds, where we could    Learn all about a lost culture            We would run into a cursed                                     Mayan Chief, but he'd actually be pretty cool                          He would teach us how to do a rain dance,          Every once in awhile he'd look at you and say "kíichpan"       and I'd be like..."Dude, back off..."                        He's like 2000 years old...                                                               He's way too old for you. I would carve you an Ice Sculpture in your likeness         Taking care to make sure that every detail was perfect and reflected                        Your beauty                               In every possible way.      I'm not too good at Ice Sculpting, though, so it might just end up looking                            Like an oddly-shaped block of ice.       Sorry...             I hope you would like it anyway For you, I would count to infinity      Which might not sound like a feat, at first    But then I would count back to zero   I'm pretty sure no one's done that before....      I won't be able to do it all in one day So it might take awhile...                   Hope you don't mind waiting for me     I would write poetry every day for you             Because I know that I would never run out of things           To write about ....Well, maybe every 'other' day.
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35
There is nothing more unsettling than a teenage Christmas. The coming of age when adults find their inner child again and you have to try and get rid of yours. 11 is fine. Part of you still believes Santa put the presents under tree. 12 is also okay, just a little less pixie dust stirs in the stomach on Christmas Eve. 13, 14 and 15 are tricky. You don't want to look babyish by getting too excited, so you shrug it off and ask 'Santa' for a mobile phone, a laptop, a TV, until by 15 you ask for the most 'grown up' present of all. "I just want money." The words burn your lips and tongue like acid, a yearning for the sensation of a gift you can unwrap tugging in your rib cage. You can't buy that. 16, 17 and 18 are Christmases tinged with nostalgia. Little ghosts of the younger you run down the stairs on Christmas morning, feet clad in slippers and Power Rangers pjyamas askew, whilst you follow in procession, almost a funeral. It's not that you don't like Christmas. It's not that you don't love your family. It's not that you don't feel a fire light in your belly when you bite into a mince pie, it's not that the battered Christmas videos your family replay each year don't still make you smile, it's not even that you've gotten too old for it all. Have you? Slippers and tiny fists batter against advent calender doors, begging you to open them. When you're 19  you do. You let them out and let them rush to rip open their presents under the tree. You let them eat their selection box first before dinner. You let them cry when the Snowman melts and you let them laugh and not mock heave when your father chases your mother with mistletoe. You let the ghosts become holograms you can play in your mind like a projector and slides, no longer a need to leave holly by their graves but a chance to remember and smile. You let them be happy.
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Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013 at 10:08 AM UTC
The Puberty of Christmas
There is nothing more unsettling than a teenage Christmas. The coming of age when adults find their inner child again and you have to try and get rid of yours. 11 is fine. Part of you still believes Santa put the presents under tree. 12 is also okay, just a little less pixie dust stirs in the stomach on Christmas Eve. 13, 14 and 15 are tricky. You don't want to look babyish by getting too excited, so you shrug it off and ask 'Santa' for a mobile phone, a laptop, a TV, until by 15 you ask for the most 'grown up' present of all. "I just want money." The words burn your lips and tongue like acid, a yearning for the sensation of a gift you can unwrap tugging in your rib cage. You can't buy that. 16, 17 and 18 are Christmases tinged with nostalgia. Little ghosts of the younger you run down the stairs on Christmas morning, feet clad in slippers and Power Rangers pjyamas askew, whilst you follow in procession, almost a funeral. It's not that you don't like Christmas. It's not that you don't love your family. It's not that you don't feel a fire light in your belly when you bite into a mince pie, it's not that the battered Christmas videos your family replay each year don't still make you smile, it's not even that you've gotten too old for it all. Have you? Slippers and tiny fists batter against advent calender doors, begging you to open them. When you're 19  you do. You let them out and let them rush to rip open their presents under the tree. You let them eat their selection box first before dinner. You let them cry when the Snowman melts and you let them laugh and not mock heave when your father chases your mother with mistletoe. You let the ghosts become holograms you can play in your mind like a projector and slides, no longer a need to leave holly by their graves but a chance to remember and smile. You let them be happy.
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43
I hope you're happy. I hope that you're always fighting to be happy. I hope that every time you fall, you recover, and you quickly discover that it's never over. I hope you smile then you frown. that when you're climbing, you forget not to look down I hope you have plenty of food to eat And people to greet. but I hope it cuts you deep, when you lay down at night, alone, to sleep. I hope to know one day, that you walk through rooms of people and you don't know what to say. I hope that I am the wrinkles in the bedsheets and the gentle morning rain. I hope you remember their pain. for we will not be forgotten with a shrug, even when you say it's not but dust, swept under the rug. I hope you lead a busy life. one of hope and constant strife. I don't want you to bleed, I just want you to know need. I hope you work hard to gather what you've got but that what you're searching for stays forever in your blind spot. I want to know that you have wept. that for weeks you haven't slept. I want you to see other people full of glee yet you can't understand why they don't lend a hand. I know you love, and that you lie. but I hope that you learn what it is to see a loved one die.
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Oct 18, 2012
Oct 18, 2012 at 10:32 AM UTC
I Wish You All The Best*
In the rectory garden on his evening walk Paced brisk Father Shawn. A cold day, a sodden one it was In black November. After a sliding rain Dew stood in chill sweat on each stalk, Each thorn; spiring from wet earth, a blue haze Hung caught in dark-webbed branches like a fabulous heron. Hauled sudden from solitude, Hair prickling on his head, Father Shawn perceived a ghost Shaping itself from that mist. 'How now,' Father Shawn crisply addressed the ghost Wavering there, gauze-edged, smelling of woodsmoke, 'What manner of business are you on? From your blue pallor, I'd say you inhabited the frozen waste Of hell, and not the fiery part. Yet to judge by that dazzled look, That noble mien, perhaps you've late quitted heaven?' In voice furred with frost, Ghost said to priest: 'Neither of those countries do I frequent: Earth is my haunt.' 'Come, come,' Father Shawn gave an impatient shrug, 'I don't ask you to spin some ridiculous fable Of gilded harps or gnawing fire: simply tell After your life's end, what just epilogue God ordained to follow up your days. Is it such trouble To satisfy the questions of a curious old fool?' 'In life, love gnawed my skin To this white bone; What love did then, love does now: Gnaws me through.' 'What love,' asked Father Shawn, 'but too great love Of flawed earth-flesh could cause this sorry pass? Some ****** condition you are in: Thinking never to have left the world, you grieve As though alive, shriveling in torment thus To atone as shade for sin that lured blind man.' 'The day of doom Is not yest come. Until that time A crock of dust is my dear hom.' 'Fond phantom,' cried shocked Father Shawn, 'Can there be such stubbornness-- A soul grown feverish, clutching its dead body-tree Like a last storm-crossed leaf? Best get you gone To judgment in a higher court of grace. Repent, depart, before God's trump-crack splits the sky.' From that pale mist Ghost swore to priest: 'There sits no higher court Than man's red heart.'
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Dialogue Between Ghost And Priest
In the rectory garden on his evening walk Paced brisk Father Shawn. A cold day, a sodden one it was In black November. After a sliding rain Dew stood in chill sweat on each stalk, Each thorn; spiring from wet earth, a blue haze Hung caught in dark-webbed branches like a fabulous heron. Hauled sudden from solitude, Hair prickling on his head, Father Shawn perceived a ghost Shaping itself from that mist. 'How now,' Father Shawn crisply addressed the ghost Wavering there, gauze-edged, smelling of woodsmoke, 'What manner of business are you on? From your blue pallor, I'd say you inhabited the frozen waste Of hell, and not the fiery part. Yet to judge by that dazzled look, That noble mien, perhaps you've late quitted heaven?' In voice furred with frost, Ghost said to priest: 'Neither of those countries do I frequent: Earth is my haunt.' 'Come, come,' Father Shawn gave an impatient shrug, 'I don't ask you to spin some ridiculous fable Of gilded harps or gnawing fire: simply tell After your life's end, what just epilogue God ordained to follow up your days. Is it such trouble To satisfy the questions of a curious old fool?' 'In life, love gnawed my skin To this white bone; What love did then, love does now: Gnaws me through.' 'What love,' asked Father Shawn, 'but too great love Of flawed earth-flesh could cause this sorry pass? Some ****** condition you are in: Thinking never to have left the world, you grieve As though alive, shriveling in torment thus To atone as shade for sin that lured blind man.' 'The day of doom Is not yest come. Until that time A crock of dust is my dear hom.' 'Fond phantom,' cried shocked Father Shawn, 'Can there be such stubbornness-- A soul grown feverish, clutching its dead body-tree Like a last storm-crossed leaf? Best get you gone To judgment in a higher court of grace. Repent, depart, before God's trump-crack splits the sky.' From that pale mist Ghost swore to priest: 'There sits no higher court Than man's red heart.'
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50
Why does Sour Lemon shrug? Sour Lemon thinks your sour lemons stink. Why does Sour Lemon think your sour lemons stink? Sour Lemon shrugs while Sour Lemon thinks.
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Jun 16, 2014
Jun 16, 2014 at 5:32 AM UTC
Sour Lemon
She gazed out long and far, Past half closed curtains   And dozing, docile cars. Witness to a world double glazed Dampened by a passing rain. Sound drowned still by fragile, Stained glass pane. Skies lay grey, like every other day, Shrubs shrug and trees sadly sway. She feels for the trees, (And to an extent the shrub) They're not so different from you or I. We all plant roots, grow, love? Thoughts disturbed by a startled dove, Flew the coup, done, had enough, Rose as Icarus toward the sun. Basked in light of new found freedom. Never heard the hunters gun.
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Jan 30, 2016
Jan 30, 2016 at 6:30 PM UTC
Half Closed Curtains
A follow on poem to 'In the Sunroom (Suicide)"  (1) writ many years later... ~For MWK~ <> A stray thought. a burring burrowing, thorny tawny: A wish, yet to get, but vetted for each of us. *This within, this redoubt, a contemplative oasis, my indoor poet's nookery rookery sanctuary each one, each is, deserves, all, one such, a place holy filled, with lice and dirt of a life, strained and trained for emission and transmission of the best of the worst, and the triumphant emergent commission of our individualized most excellent fresh best where crumbs of apple crisp pie solidify, vanilla bean ice cream melt offsets the oven heated warmth, and from this interactive contrasts combative, a poem pie reborn, newly disguised, familiar words, yet unheard and before this very never, went unspoken and now goes forth svelte and unbroken *rhymes of yore, forgot from a before, but making up the walls of the here and now, a sunroom to spread out the lit lights of egress and entrance, of fire door no exits that now are chiseled closed, lock in, lock up, and somehow, one, stills to learn from the stilling quiet solitude. to penetrate the prostrate kneeling grinning grief, how to expel and spell the words that grant relief visit my sunroom, though no fiction. the sun rays *********** create the friction of that which cannot ever be withered nor contained, and your mouth opens wide and a poem birthed and delivered, pastiche paste composted of truth and dreams of fiction, fine diction, with a shrug, a smile, a satisfaction extracted extraordinary, you garner moments of satisfaction but cloud cover returns, and the process of sunrise exposition recommences, and one revisits the elemental sequencing of all the predecessor pain, but this time, for gain, for gain, <> written this sabbath Saturday 12:38am EST Sat Aug 2 2025 in the sunroom, on Shelter Island
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Aug 2, 2025
Aug 2, 2025 at 12:59 AM UTC
Each of us needs a sunroom
A follow on poem to 'In the Sunroom (Suicide)"  (1) writ many years later... ~For MWK~ <> A stray thought. a burring burrowing, thorny tawny: A wish, yet to get, but vetted for each of us. *This within, this redoubt, a contemplative oasis, my indoor poet's nookery rookery sanctuary each one, each is, deserves, all, one such, a place holy filled, with lice and dirt of a life, strained and trained for emission and transmission of the best of the worst, and the triumphant emergent commission of our individualized most excellent fresh best where crumbs of apple crisp pie solidify, vanilla bean ice cream melt offsets the oven heated warmth, and from this interactive contrasts combative, a poem pie reborn, newly disguised, familiar words, yet unheard and before this very never, went unspoken and now goes forth svelte and unbroken *rhymes of yore, forgot from a before, but making up the walls of the here and now, a sunroom to spread out the lit lights of egress and entrance, of fire door no exits that now are chiseled closed, lock in, lock up, and somehow, one, stills to learn from the stilling quiet solitude. to penetrate the prostrate kneeling grinning grief, how to expel and spell the words that grant relief visit my sunroom, though no fiction. the sun rays *********** create the friction of that which cannot ever be withered nor contained, and your mouth opens wide and a poem birthed and delivered, pastiche paste composted of truth and dreams of fiction, fine diction, with a shrug, a smile, a satisfaction extracted extraordinary, you garner moments of satisfaction but cloud cover returns, and the process of sunrise exposition recommences, and one revisits the elemental sequencing of all the predecessor pain, but this time, for gain, for gain, <> written this sabbath Saturday 12:38am EST Sat Aug 2 2025 in the sunroom, on Shelter Island
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48
William Zanzinger killed poor Hattie Carroll With a cane that he twirled around his diamond ring finger At a Baltimore hotel society gath'rin' And the cops were called in and his weapon took from him As they rode him in custody down to the station And booked William Zanzinger for first-degree ****** But you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears Take the rag away from your face Now ain't the time for your tears William Zanzinger, who at twenty-four years Owns a tobacco farm of six hundred acres With rich wealthy parents who provide and protect him And high office relations in the politics of Maryland Reacted to his deed with a shrug of his shoulders And swear words and sneering, and his tongue it was snarling In a matter of minutes on bail was out walking But you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears Take the rag away from your face Now ain't the time for your tears Hattie Carroll was a maid of the kitchen She was fifty-one years old and gave birth to ten children Who carried the dishes and took out the garbage And never sat once at the head of the table And didn't even talk to the people at the table Who just cleaned up all the food from the table And emptied the ashtrays on a whole other level Got killed by a blow, lay slain by a cane That sailed through the air and came down through the room Doomed and determined to destroy all the gentle And she never done nothing to William Zanzinger But you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears Take the rag away from your face Now ain't the time for your tears In the courtroom of honor, the judge pounded his gavel To show that all's equal and that the courts are on the level And that the strings in the books ain't pulled and persuaded And that even the nobles get properly handled Once that the cops have chased after and caught 'em And that the ladder of the law has no top and no bottom Stared at the person who killed for no reason Who just happened to be feelin' that way without warnin' And he spoke through his cloak, most deep and distinguished And handed out strongly, for penalty and repentance William Zanzinger with a six-month sentence Oh, but you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears Bury the rag deep in your face For now's the time for your tears
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The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll
William Zanzinger killed poor Hattie Carroll With a cane that he twirled around his diamond ring finger At a Baltimore hotel society gath'rin' And the cops were called in and his weapon took from him As they rode him in custody down to the station And booked William Zanzinger for first-degree ****** But you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears Take the rag away from your face Now ain't the time for your tears William Zanzinger, who at twenty-four years Owns a tobacco farm of six hundred acres With rich wealthy parents who provide and protect him And high office relations in the politics of Maryland Reacted to his deed with a shrug of his shoulders And swear words and sneering, and his tongue it was snarling In a matter of minutes on bail was out walking But you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears Take the rag away from your face Now ain't the time for your tears Hattie Carroll was a maid of the kitchen She was fifty-one years old and gave birth to ten children Who carried the dishes and took out the garbage And never sat once at the head of the table And didn't even talk to the people at the table Who just cleaned up all the food from the table And emptied the ashtrays on a whole other level Got killed by a blow, lay slain by a cane That sailed through the air and came down through the room Doomed and determined to destroy all the gentle And she never done nothing to William Zanzinger But you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears Take the rag away from your face Now ain't the time for your tears In the courtroom of honor, the judge pounded his gavel To show that all's equal and that the courts are on the level And that the strings in the books ain't pulled and persuaded And that even the nobles get properly handled Once that the cops have chased after and caught 'em And that the ladder of the law has no top and no bottom Stared at the person who killed for no reason Who just happened to be feelin' that way without warnin' And he spoke through his cloak, most deep and distinguished And handed out strongly, for penalty and repentance William Zanzinger with a six-month sentence Oh, but you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears Bury the rag deep in your face For now's the time for your tears
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47
Have you heard of the gardens clandestines grow? The neighbors have, although until today the gardens were usual, not a pastime no one would seriously guess. The flowers are conceptual homonyms bordered by Boxwood africans no breadwinning cardinal would bless with its roost.                          Grass beneath a golden ninebark is slightly depressed where some pistol was. For the past few years the neighbors have wondered daily What the hell is it this guy does? What, with him always vaguely mumbling "...lots of business trips." It's dark now, blood spatter coagulates on the picket fence.                                                                                          Four tire streaks on the road, the responding policemen kept it hushed, speaking in code to disembodied voices on a radio. Not much more than a glance and shrug at the neighbors' concerned inquiries. One consensus formed: he was deep in consequences from promises he couldn't keep. This was speculative, of course.                                                          The palm trees rustled above their heads. "Maybe he was a clandestine," one of the neighbors remarked as another dismissively barked, "Ridiculous! He kept a garden!"
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Jul 18, 2013
Jul 18, 2013 at 10:26 PM UTC
A Suburban Shootout
When your children Near berserk us; When the maitre de Would disapprove; When the pastor Stops the service To ask your cut-ups To stop and move, I shrug my shoulders. Don't grow nervous... I buy, of course, Though they don't deserve it.... When the ice cream vender Tries to serve us.... Not my monkeys! Not my circus!
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Aug 25, 2015
Aug 25, 2015 at 7:17 AM UTC
Not My Circus
There's always that one guy, That no matter what, you can never let go of him. At nights, you're dreaming of the "impossible" day, When all he sees is you. And you can't help but fall for him, Everytime you greet him. You were always by his side. Yet sadly, he saw you as just a friend. One day you see him talking to her, And you just shrug it off. But then you notice the feelings between the two, Intensify by the day. And all you are, Is an unloved stray.
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Feb 1, 2015
Feb 1, 2015 at 6:14 PM UTC
~Unloved Stray~
Another choice, Something important! Quickly two little mes appear on my shoulder One is a pure white suit with a halo The other in a red tux with horns and a tail Angel"Do what's right!" Devil"Do what's right for you!" What to do Countless seconds lost As they wage war on my shoulders Shouting about good and evil Right or wrong Left or right I shrug my shoulders And they fade away No clue what to do Even with their "Help"
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Jul 9, 2014
Jul 9, 2014 at 1:43 AM UTC
Angel and Devil on my Shoulder
He was a boy dressed in green who flew into the Nursery one night. He flew in to retrieve the shadow that had gotten separated from him. He had his fairy and best friend Tinkerbell fly into the room at first. He followed about a minute later and told Tinkerbell to find it for him. He watched Tinkerbell fly over a dresser drawer & asked which one. He ran over to the drawer that Tinkerbell stayed beside & he opened it. He takes the shadow out & happily holds it in his arms and hugs it. He tries to stick the shadow on by just putting it on his head and poses. He then has to pick the shadow up from the floor when it falls off. He tries again and then sees soap & says he'll use that to make it stick. He rubs the soap on the shadow or himself & tries to make it stick. He starts to get very upset because the shadow won't stick itself to him. He starts breathing heavily & asks, "What's the matter with you?" He wakes Wendy & she thinks he's crying. "Boy, why are you crying?" He answers her differently in the recent version from the others. He just stands up from where he is and bows to her in the other films. He stands up in the recent version & says to her, "I'm not crying." He's told in the recent film that he looks like a boy out of a storybook. He calls himself a "brave adventurer" & Wendy says, "Who cries." He looks at Wendy and says to her, more sternly this time, "I don't cry." He asks what her name is, she says, "Wendy Mira Angela Darling." He tells her his & says, "It's enough for me." when she asks if that's it. He looks around & asks, "Is this a real house?" Wendy says, "Yes." He doesn't ask that in all the other versions, they just exchange names. He does different things depending on what version you watch. He goes out in the hall in the recent film when a noise interests him. He tells her some things about himself, like that he is forgetful. "Second star to the right and straight on till morning." is where he lives. He tells Wendy this in every single version when she asks him. He's asked if he gets letters & says in many films, "I don't get any letters." He says in the recent film, "I don't get any." with a little shrug. He also says, "I don't have a mother." when told his mother must get'em. He puts a hand up & backs up when Wendy tries to hug him. He says, "You mustn't touch me." Wendy puts her arms down & asks why. He says, "No one has ever touched me." and just looks at her. He's told by Wendy, "No wonder you were crying." and looks at her again. He says, "I told you I wasn't. I just can't get my shadow to stick." He also tells her, "I tried everything. Even soap." points to the bar of soap. He gets the shadow on with the help of Wendy & is happy again. He gets a thimble thinking it's a kiss and gives Wendy one to thank her. He tells her about Neverland & she tells him that she knows stories. He tells her to come with him and says that they will both fly to get there. He says before this that he knows fairies & Wendy meets Tinkerbell. He allows Wendy's brothers Michael and John to come fly with them too. He teachers everyone how to fly and then they are off to Neverland.
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Feb 14, 2015
Feb 14, 2015 at 4:28 PM UTC
The Adventurous Boy Meets Wendy
He was a boy dressed in green who flew into the Nursery one night. He flew in to retrieve the shadow that had gotten separated from him. He had his fairy and best friend Tinkerbell fly into the room at first. He followed about a minute later and told Tinkerbell to find it for him. He watched Tinkerbell fly over a dresser drawer & asked which one. He ran over to the drawer that Tinkerbell stayed beside & he opened it. He takes the shadow out & happily holds it in his arms and hugs it. He tries to stick the shadow on by just putting it on his head and poses. He then has to pick the shadow up from the floor when it falls off. He tries again and then sees soap & says he'll use that to make it stick. He rubs the soap on the shadow or himself & tries to make it stick. He starts to get very upset because the shadow won't stick itself to him. He starts breathing heavily & asks, "What's the matter with you?" He wakes Wendy & she thinks he's crying. "Boy, why are you crying?" He answers her differently in the recent version from the others. He just stands up from where he is and bows to her in the other films. He stands up in the recent version & says to her, "I'm not crying." He's told in the recent film that he looks like a boy out of a storybook. He calls himself a "brave adventurer" & Wendy says, "Who cries." He looks at Wendy and says to her, more sternly this time, "I don't cry." He asks what her name is, she says, "Wendy Mira Angela Darling." He tells her his & says, "It's enough for me." when she asks if that's it. He looks around & asks, "Is this a real house?" Wendy says, "Yes." He doesn't ask that in all the other versions, they just exchange names. He does different things depending on what version you watch. He goes out in the hall in the recent film when a noise interests him. He tells her some things about himself, like that he is forgetful. "Second star to the right and straight on till morning." is where he lives. He tells Wendy this in every single version when she asks him. He's asked if he gets letters & says in many films, "I don't get any letters." He says in the recent film, "I don't get any." with a little shrug. He also says, "I don't have a mother." when told his mother must get'em. He puts a hand up & backs up when Wendy tries to hug him. He says, "You mustn't touch me." Wendy puts her arms down & asks why. He says, "No one has ever touched me." and just looks at her. He's told by Wendy, "No wonder you were crying." and looks at her again. He says, "I told you I wasn't. I just can't get my shadow to stick." He also tells her, "I tried everything. Even soap." points to the bar of soap. He gets the shadow on with the help of Wendy & is happy again. He gets a thimble thinking it's a kiss and gives Wendy one to thank her. He tells her about Neverland & she tells him that she knows stories. He tells her to come with him and says that they will both fly to get there. He says before this that he knows fairies & Wendy meets Tinkerbell. He allows Wendy's brothers Michael and John to come fly with them too. He teachers everyone how to fly and then they are off to Neverland.
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45
It takes a smile to hide the pain, it takes a laugh to shrug it all away. It takes a shadow to hide the light, it takes a flame to eliminate your might. It takes a thought to change your mood, it takes a memory to make you cruel. It takes a heart to feel the sorrow, it takes a pain to make your heart hollow. It takes a breath to keep you alive, it takes a second to take your breath away, and let you die.
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Aug 19, 2013
Aug 19, 2013 at 2:06 PM UTC
What it Takes.
"Sorry, Austin...not for us...Best with it." "Four Verses of Inexpressive Groaning, and 15 Ughs to be Sung in Beethoven's 9th. " Ughghghgh. Ughyughghg. Eighghghgugh. Myeeeghghg? Eeehghghg... Myegghghugh. Ghghghghg. Huhhghghg? Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. Shrug- eh? Uhhhmmm... Eghghghghg.... Myughghghg... grughghghg. Gaaah...? Blughghg. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
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Jun 1, 2014
Jun 1, 2014 at 11:09 PM UTC
"Rejected Again."