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Evan Backward Sep 2019
She walks in
Passing through the kitchen
She grabs a glass and the bottle of wine
She sits down at the table
The white walls reflect the light bouncing in from outside
It shows off the people walking in pairs
This was getting old
She lifts the glass toward her mouth
Pausing, she reels it back and throws it at the opposite wall
The merlot runs down the wall
And the glass sparkles through the air
She stands up and pulls herself into the shower
She stands under the water for awhile
Then without drying herself
Falls into bed
There was a poem on here "Loneliness Repetitive" I think?  This is me trying to emulate that one
Evan Backward May 2015
Sitting on a bus making a list
Of all the pretty words I know,
Highlights the hollow feeling
Like bells ringing without purpose
Ceremony for the sake of itself
Not like you

Not like funerals and graduations
Formality to induce respect,
Creating the environment for great emotion
The ability to change heartbeats
Bringing pride where there was
Unsteady satisfaction
The power of words together
Of language

You are my language
Not all that I speak or know
A culmination of my creativity
The end product of pretty vowels
Strung together to make
Abstract constructs
The idea that I can be somebody
Because someone has the faith that I can

You create the environment
For powerful emotion
For the torrent of pride and satisfaction
For the validation of my fears
For the seed of hope within my dreams

You are the comfort
When the day consists of
Dusk and dawn
Without the beauty of the sunrise
You are the reasoning
Behind jumping head first
Into waves of fire
Because you knew I could,
So I know I can
Evan Backward Apr 2015
The side profile of a four-poster bed
Was supposed to be the image of luxury
Not the decadent tomb of my comfort
The sanctuary of solitude and rest
Broken by the presence of you and your four limbs

Awaiting the sleep
Shadows in the dark take on greater forms
And the light shed from the doorway behind your skin
Brings no clarity as you lumber closer
Blocking out the hope of dying lights

With a crack
The weight of your head brings you down
Crashing into metallic springs and I am lifted
In that moment
On the thought that maybe
You have lost your consciousness
Perhaps only your conscience
As your hands slither over the flesh of my

Routine, my arms lash
Your palms in forceful contact with my forearms
Growing, as you rise to bear over me
My sanctuary shrinking, tight
I relax you say, in pleasure
In subservience
In submission and hopelessness
As I retreat behind my eyes, I rely on my one freedom
To move within the corners of my mind
If not the four corners of this bed
Evan Backward Apr 2015
From way on up above,

On the edges of your grove.

If I stand, right here.

I can watch from afar,

Seeing your effervescence


When doors are left ajar.
Evan Backward Apr 2015
I am not a charity case.
I will not be liked or loved
Because I am so weak.
So weak, that I make you,
The martyr who bears me,
Feel strong.  That I give you purpose.
I refuse, to let my table be supported
By you and your makeshift table leg.

If anything, I pride myself as an individual.
I am strong.
I am independent.
My happiness, not unlike
The spinning center of a gyroscope,
Is existent entirely independent
Of your influence.
I don't need you.

I want you.
I want you because you are kind.
You are genuine, you understand.
I want you because you are comforting,
You give me that which no other can.

I wouldn't want you,
If the motives for what you do,
Were different than what I'd hoped.
Altogether disillusioned.
Written back in the day
Evan Backward Apr 2015
Heaven whispers peace in my
Ears, it rings so
Loudly, so all encompassing, too
Long has it been since its toll.

Ice freezes balefully on the borders,
Smooth lines drawn on the edge.

Careful grace,
Omits and voids any fears, any
Malicious shadows of a doubt.
I walk among these clouds,
Not seeing that it is all
Going so well.
Evan Backward Apr 2015
Sometimes I send really long messages
Sometimes I ramble on until I've reached a character cap
Sometimes I hope you'll forgive my enthusiasm
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