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"restarting" poems
She's done it! She's free! But now that "She" is a "He"! I'm proud of Him. As should be! For now he smiles in glee! He's jolly again, grins from ear to ear! I can't help but shed a tear. I'll support you always my darling dear. Even when the bullies sneer. Bu my Hannah is now a Ryan. Once a woman, now a man. You're doing what I can't; You're restarting your life and its just began. I'm so proud of you. But you already knew. I'll support you through and through, Even when life becomes anew.
0
Sep 20, 2015
Sep 20, 2015 at 7:45 PM UTC
Transgender
it has been over two years and i am proud of my growth. my main focus this year is to finish my grieving so that i may continue my life in an efficient manner. the process of grieving is commonly known as, but not limited to: denial anger bargaining depression acceptance my denial proces: many times the easiest way to get over trauma is to repress it. i was 15 when i was ra ped. legal age of consent is 16. he was 18. i was naive, and could not imagine the man i loved doing that to me. i believed that it was an accident and neither of us knew what was right or wrong. I had assumed that because i had previously given him my body, he was able to ignore my pleads to stop this time. i blamed myself more than i blamed him, and he blamed me. i had been so infatuated with him that i had pushed away the people who cared most about me. when i told them about being ***** our bond was already so far gone that they could not feel anything more than pitty. i was terrified of losing him, so i convinced us both it was an accident. ra pe is no accident. through denial became anger: i became genuinely angry for the first time in my life. i was angry at him for being somebody that i had trusted and loved. angry that i had let this happen to myself. angry that i had no strength nor respect to stand up for myself. if i had told him to stop one more time he would have. i understand now that i should not have had to say no more than once. i was angry because i let myself down, but I’m more angry that i could not blame him. being angry was the easiest part of grieving. it is okay to he angry. bargaining is a toxic healing method: i became really good at bargaining with myself. after he was gone i had begun to understand my emotions, but i could not control them. my fear of more being taken from me fed my overcompensation. i began to give my body away, so that it could not be taken. it was an unhealthy coping mechanism. my body is not meant to be given nor taken. depression hit hard: i began to reflect on all of the points in my life that had lead me to this one. i became close to restarting the grieving process. i spent a long portion of the depression stage in denial. then i was angry that i had backtracked to the beginning. i had more meaningless se x that i now regret more than anything. i saw how good his life had been going and how poorly mine was. it was obvious that i needed help. acceptance: this entire passage was my process to acceptance. i reached out to my therapist. i made new friends. i stopped wallowing in self pity and i began to recover. i stopped begging to forget my flaws and began to forgive them.
0
Jan 4, 2019
Jan 4, 2019 at 1:50 AM UTC
new years resolution
it has been over two years and i am proud of my growth. my main focus this year is to finish my grieving so that i may continue my life in an efficient manner. the process of grieving is commonly known as, but not limited to: denial anger bargaining depression acceptance my denial proces: many times the easiest way to get over trauma is to repress it. i was 15 when i was ra ped. legal age of consent is 16. he was 18. i was naive, and could not imagine the man i loved doing that to me. i believed that it was an accident and neither of us knew what was right or wrong. I had assumed that because i had previously given him my body, he was able to ignore my pleads to stop this time. i blamed myself more than i blamed him, and he blamed me. i had been so infatuated with him that i had pushed away the people who cared most about me. when i told them about being ***** our bond was already so far gone that they could not feel anything more than pitty. i was terrified of losing him, so i convinced us both it was an accident. ra pe is no accident. through denial became anger: i became genuinely angry for the first time in my life. i was angry at him for being somebody that i had trusted and loved. angry that i had let this happen to myself. angry that i had no strength nor respect to stand up for myself. if i had told him to stop one more time he would have. i understand now that i should not have had to say no more than once. i was angry because i let myself down, but I’m more angry that i could not blame him. being angry was the easiest part of grieving. it is okay to he angry. bargaining is a toxic healing method: i became really good at bargaining with myself. after he was gone i had begun to understand my emotions, but i could not control them. my fear of more being taken from me fed my overcompensation. i began to give my body away, so that it could not be taken. it was an unhealthy coping mechanism. my body is not meant to be given nor taken. depression hit hard: i began to reflect on all of the points in my life that had lead me to this one. i became close to restarting the grieving process. i spent a long portion of the depression stage in denial. then i was angry that i had backtracked to the beginning. i had more meaningless se x that i now regret more than anything. i saw how good his life had been going and how poorly mine was. it was obvious that i needed help. acceptance: this entire passage was my process to acceptance. i reached out to my therapist. i made new friends. i stopped wallowing in self pity and i began to recover. i stopped begging to forget my flaws and began to forgive them.
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17
After Danez Smith's Dinosaurs in the Hood Let's make a movie called Lil Peep In Heaven Transpotting meets 8 Mile meets six xanax bars There should be a scene where Lil Peep climbs up a few flights of Stairs and makes it to the pearly gates, because there has to be pearly Gates Don't let Bella Thorne star in this. In her version she tongue-kisses Peep, Chews scenery in platform boots and bright pink Ripped jeans. **** that, Peep has a tattoo removed By a saint, his laser is proof of all that is good I want a scene where Peep throws his pill bottles At Ganesha, a scene where Allah tells Peep he'll Rot in his grave forever if he doesn't stop His antics. Don't let GothBoiClique hold a Funeral for Gustav. I don't want any of that Sentimental **** about love and how life is too Short. This movie is about a man/boytoy/ugly and dying thing, Restarting his life with all the real-ass gods and patron saints and Deities Of every religion and every afterlife I don't want some funny, dreadhead living in LA with a tattooed stick And poke commanding presence. This is not a vehicle for someone to Play Peep, this is a vehicle for Peep to play himself.] I want his ******* white or not, praying. I want them far from their Knees. I want Lil Peep to ride in a Benz truck down from the clouds, Screaming with spittle flying from his mouth the entire time. I want Layla to post another video of Gustav slapping pans together Like a child. And I want Peep to see it all. But this can't be a death movie. This can't be a death movie. This Movie can't be dismissed because it's too dark, or that a dead man is Playing the leading role. This movie can't be about crying, or cause people to cry. This movie can't be about a long history of emo coming To an end. This movie can't be about dying. No one can say Peep is a pill-popping ******* who deserved his death Who wouldn't say it to his cadaver. No big pharmacy jokes in this movie. No bar, capsules or gels in the heroes, and Lil Peep never dies & Lil Peep never dies & Lil Peep never dies. Besides, the only reason I want to make this movie is for the first scene anyway; Lil Peep climbing up the cloudy stairs, his eyes dilated & empty                                    the heaven before him filled with congratulations
0
Nov 17, 2017
Nov 17, 2017 at 10:47 PM UTC
Lil Peep In Heaven
After Danez Smith's Dinosaurs in the Hood Let's make a movie called Lil Peep In Heaven Transpotting meets 8 Mile meets six xanax bars There should be a scene where Lil Peep climbs up a few flights of Stairs and makes it to the pearly gates, because there has to be pearly Gates Don't let Bella Thorne star in this. In her version she tongue-kisses Peep, Chews scenery in platform boots and bright pink Ripped jeans. **** that, Peep has a tattoo removed By a saint, his laser is proof of all that is good I want a scene where Peep throws his pill bottles At Ganesha, a scene where Allah tells Peep he'll Rot in his grave forever if he doesn't stop His antics. Don't let GothBoiClique hold a Funeral for Gustav. I don't want any of that Sentimental **** about love and how life is too Short. This movie is about a man/boytoy/ugly and dying thing, Restarting his life with all the real-ass gods and patron saints and Deities Of every religion and every afterlife I don't want some funny, dreadhead living in LA with a tattooed stick And poke commanding presence. This is not a vehicle for someone to Play Peep, this is a vehicle for Peep to play himself.] I want his ******* white or not, praying. I want them far from their Knees. I want Lil Peep to ride in a Benz truck down from the clouds, Screaming with spittle flying from his mouth the entire time. I want Layla to post another video of Gustav slapping pans together Like a child. And I want Peep to see it all. But this can't be a death movie. This can't be a death movie. This Movie can't be dismissed because it's too dark, or that a dead man is Playing the leading role. This movie can't be about crying, or cause people to cry. This movie can't be about a long history of emo coming To an end. This movie can't be about dying. No one can say Peep is a pill-popping ******* who deserved his death Who wouldn't say it to his cadaver. No big pharmacy jokes in this movie. No bar, capsules or gels in the heroes, and Lil Peep never dies & Lil Peep never dies & Lil Peep never dies. Besides, the only reason I want to make this movie is for the first scene anyway; Lil Peep climbing up the cloudy stairs, his eyes dilated & empty                                    the heaven before him filled with congratulations
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26
BTZZZZZZZZ “…open wide! The all-new Angus third-pounder…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…illiteracy: an incurable disease or education malpractice…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…childhood obesity is at an all-time high…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…suicide bomber, 10 people dead…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…teachers on strike again…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…Michael Jackson…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…another Amber Alert has been issued…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…number of Americans going hungry increases…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…ninety-six billion pounds of food go to waste each year…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…Nicole Kidman loves her new ***** BTZZZZZZZZ “…another soldier was killed yesterday in a firefight…” BTZZZZZZZZ “...you can do to protect against H1N1…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…live the rainbow, taste the rainbow…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…the King of Pop…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…confirmed: the remains belonged to 6 year old…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…boy refuses to pledge allegiance unless gays and lesbians have equal rights...” BTZZZZZZZZ “…scientist reveals her secret life as a ********** BTZZZZZZZZ “…police are waiting on a positive ID on the girl’s body...” BTZZZZZZZZ “…Michael Jackson...” BTZZZZZZZZ “…actor who played Santa Claus jailed for having *** with boys…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…Iran is restarting their nuclear facility…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…armed teen jumped the pizza delivery man…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…woman who has three hundred ******* a day finally meets her dream man…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…why we love Taylor Swift…” BTZZZZZZZZ “fifteen year old son, shot by his father, has died tonight…” BTZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ [click]
0
Jan 3, 2010
Jan 3, 2010 at 8:25 PM UTC
Television Land
BTZZZZZZZZ “…open wide! The all-new Angus third-pounder…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…illiteracy: an incurable disease or education malpractice…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…childhood obesity is at an all-time high…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…suicide bomber, 10 people dead…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…teachers on strike again…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…Michael Jackson…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…another Amber Alert has been issued…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…number of Americans going hungry increases…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…ninety-six billion pounds of food go to waste each year…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…Nicole Kidman loves her new ***** BTZZZZZZZZ “…another soldier was killed yesterday in a firefight…” BTZZZZZZZZ “...you can do to protect against H1N1…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…live the rainbow, taste the rainbow…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…the King of Pop…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…confirmed: the remains belonged to 6 year old…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…boy refuses to pledge allegiance unless gays and lesbians have equal rights...” BTZZZZZZZZ “…scientist reveals her secret life as a ********** BTZZZZZZZZ “…police are waiting on a positive ID on the girl’s body...” BTZZZZZZZZ “…Michael Jackson...” BTZZZZZZZZ “…actor who played Santa Claus jailed for having *** with boys…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…Iran is restarting their nuclear facility…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…armed teen jumped the pizza delivery man…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…woman who has three hundred ******* a day finally meets her dream man…” BTZZZZZZZZ “…why we love Taylor Swift…” BTZZZZZZZZ “fifteen year old son, shot by his father, has died tonight…” BTZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ [click]
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51
This is for all my battle buddies, HOOAH! Serving in Iraq, Serving in Afghanistan. With a grainy, sandy, hot, and humid desert surrounding you. Looking into miles of nothing. Always ready, always on patrol, ready to roll. Ducking your head to re-load in the middle of the firefight. Taking a stand against the evils of the world. To my battles with integrity, We all bleed the same, Fighting for freedom of the Red, White, and Blue Live green die green Scream it with me at the top of your lungs: HOOAH! Soldier people; This for all the clowns that play Video Games Talking that 1337 (LEET) speak Owning some newbs for fun Screaming at the little kids that they **** I’m taking on the girls 1 versus 1 Passing by the hours staring at the screen Drinking Mountain Dew, and eating skittles Sniping people with your M4, Blowing them up as they walk through the door Gamer people; This is for all my Tech-y nerds Working with computer components Make sure you stay grounded We don’t want an electrical eruption I hated Network Theory, But I still didn’t get a B. The “have you tried restarting,” people. Surfing the Internets, refer to Wikipedia people. Tech people; This is for all the Snowboard bums, We ride hard, but still chill Jumping in front of the skiers for a mighty thrill We do it for an Adrenaline rush Boardin’ through the trees, And the snow that is white and plush Snowboard people; This is for all the Music lovers That let the beat move their souls Bumpin’ to the rhythm Dancing out of control Let the beat take you away Fist pump yourself into the night, Even though I can’t dance, ‘cause I’m White. Music people.
0
Sep 27, 2011
Sep 27, 2011 at 9:43 PM UTC
For my people
This is for all my battle buddies, HOOAH! Serving in Iraq, Serving in Afghanistan. With a grainy, sandy, hot, and humid desert surrounding you. Looking into miles of nothing. Always ready, always on patrol, ready to roll. Ducking your head to re-load in the middle of the firefight. Taking a stand against the evils of the world. To my battles with integrity, We all bleed the same, Fighting for freedom of the Red, White, and Blue Live green die green Scream it with me at the top of your lungs: HOOAH! Soldier people; This for all the clowns that play Video Games Talking that 1337 (LEET) speak Owning some newbs for fun Screaming at the little kids that they **** I’m taking on the girls 1 versus 1 Passing by the hours staring at the screen Drinking Mountain Dew, and eating skittles Sniping people with your M4, Blowing them up as they walk through the door Gamer people; This is for all my Tech-y nerds Working with computer components Make sure you stay grounded We don’t want an electrical eruption I hated Network Theory, But I still didn’t get a B. The “have you tried restarting,” people. Surfing the Internets, refer to Wikipedia people. Tech people; This is for all the Snowboard bums, We ride hard, but still chill Jumping in front of the skiers for a mighty thrill We do it for an Adrenaline rush Boardin’ through the trees, And the snow that is white and plush Snowboard people; This is for all the Music lovers That let the beat move their souls Bumpin’ to the rhythm Dancing out of control Let the beat take you away Fist pump yourself into the night, Even though I can’t dance, ‘cause I’m White. Music people.
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49
not especially social, just a couple of friends, so our interaction qualifies, special, very, with sincerity I say, fancy seeing you here come and gone, come back again, restarting an engine, that been redesigned to be as simple as you and me, reader, writer quit, here, brevity here, but say out loud that word, fancy one mo' time part fantasy, special, very, a poem read, a fan friendship established here, where words and eyes intersect, a very fancy place...
0
Feb 4, 2015
Feb 4, 2015 at 4:52 AM UTC
fancy seeing you here
If you are having trouble with your overall new iphone 4, there are many associated with in your own home i phone fix procedures you can consider. Even so, take into account that you can also find many i phone repair solutions you may want to should fully stay clear of, as these ways might cause additionally hurt along with emptiness the particular extended warranty. Thus, before you decide to chance a do-it-yourself iPhone fix, find the adhering to: apple iphone Mend Accomplish ?Complete: Turn these devices down, after which back with. Restarting the actual apple iphone generally adjusts almost any downside to software program plus purposes. This is a quick solution, however normally probably the most worthwhile. This is the identical to along with computers, while reigniting your personal computer usually corrects numerous operation difficulties. ?Complete: Upgrade a apple iphone. If your hardware just isn't working correctly, it is usually due to the lack of a system upgrade. Link the particular iPhone on your docking personal computer, and after that insert apple itunes. If the bring up to date is accessible, select to download and install your upgrade in the mobile phone. When the revise possesses uploaded towards the cellphone, all problems needs to be remedied. ?Accomplish: Recharge the battery. Should the power is starting to wear lower, features for quite a few hardware and software could fall short, contributing to inadequate overall performance through the device. Asking battery modifies these complaints. iphone 4 Restore Sports Dress in jailbreak the cell phone. It sometimes does add additional overall performance and also modification features, issues voids the guarantee, if you decide to ought to switch the cellular phone, you will be required to get a brand new one, entirely. Stay clear of examining the extender in any respect. After you break the close on the apple iphone, Apple inc and also the providers won't make gadget back again. It is advisable to you need to take the phone to your company or perhaps certified iPhone repair service service provider and have absolutely all of them think about the gadget very first, in advance of continuing. Not surprisingly, that which you do to fix your current iPhone depends upon their guarantee and your expertise as a repairman. If you can't believe that it will be easy to complete the particular maintenance yourself, you ought to use a professional iphone 3gs repair shop service provider. http://www.passwordmanagers.net/ Password Manager Windows
0
Dec 8, 2016
Dec 8, 2016 at 1:26 AM UTC
If you are having trouble with your overall new iphone 4
If you are having trouble with your overall new iphone 4, there are many associated with in your own home i phone fix procedures you can consider. Even so, take into account that you can also find many i phone repair solutions you may want to should fully stay clear of, as these ways might cause additionally hurt along with emptiness the particular extended warranty. Thus, before you decide to chance a do-it-yourself iPhone fix, find the adhering to: apple iphone Mend Accomplish ?Complete: Turn these devices down, after which back with. Restarting the actual apple iphone generally adjusts almost any downside to software program plus purposes. This is a quick solution, however normally probably the most worthwhile. This is the identical to along with computers, while reigniting your personal computer usually corrects numerous operation difficulties. ?Complete: Upgrade a apple iphone. If your hardware just isn't working correctly, it is usually due to the lack of a system upgrade. Link the particular iPhone on your docking personal computer, and after that insert apple itunes. If the bring up to date is accessible, select to download and install your upgrade in the mobile phone. When the revise possesses uploaded towards the cellphone, all problems needs to be remedied. ?Accomplish: Recharge the battery. Should the power is starting to wear lower, features for quite a few hardware and software could fall short, contributing to inadequate overall performance through the device. Asking battery modifies these complaints. iphone 4 Restore Sports Dress in jailbreak the cell phone. It sometimes does add additional overall performance and also modification features, issues voids the guarantee, if you decide to ought to switch the cellular phone, you will be required to get a brand new one, entirely. Stay clear of examining the extender in any respect. After you break the close on the apple iphone, Apple inc and also the providers won't make gadget back again. It is advisable to you need to take the phone to your company or perhaps certified iPhone repair service service provider and have absolutely all of them think about the gadget very first, in advance of continuing. Not surprisingly, that which you do to fix your current iPhone depends upon their guarantee and your expertise as a repairman. If you can't believe that it will be easy to complete the particular maintenance yourself, you ought to use a professional iphone 3gs repair shop service provider. http://www.passwordmanagers.net/ Password Manager Windows
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10
Am i foolish to believe happiness is something i've yet to obtain? I feel like my heart is in a constant battle with my brain everyday everythings so .. so plain seemingly the same kind of like a game you play over and over restarting it just before you reach the end your to afraid to reach the end so you watch it begin again and again and again the story never changes but feelings do happiness if your waiting .. this is your cue
0
Apr 18, 2014
Apr 18, 2014 at 4:06 PM UTC
Happiness Where Are You?
I remember the ivy that grew in the side of our first house year by year, we watched it shake off its dead leaves and tremble, naked through the winter in the Spring, we'd take tea underneath it, sharing the sugar spoon like we shared sheets and secrets we watched it beat again, like a heart restarting, rising after the fall the wrought iron chairs are rusted brown now, and no-one sits upon them we're dead but breathing, blood pulsing on and on hearts beating backwards and sugar spoons left out for the ants
0
Jan 15, 2014
Jan 15, 2014 at 4:19 AM UTC
Poison Ivy
to some spring cleaning may be about donating the shirt you haven't worn since 7th grade or dusting every single picture frame or scrubbing the tile or sweeping and vacuuming that's not my spring cleaning my spring cleaning is about changing the way i've been ever since the 7th grade and changing every single thing about me or creating the persona i want to be or removing and restarting that's my spring cleaning n.d.
0
Aug 22, 2013
Aug 22, 2013 at 10:36 AM UTC
elbow grease
Your touch fractures unwound futures, the softest shock to my system. Infinite undiscovery radiates off skin like new born stars skipping straight to supernova. Light grenades blind, deafen, expose. Truth blurs focus. We now know what the body is for. I sabotage and we crash into earth, incinerating the atmosphere, restarting cycles. We forget our odd numbered days exist. Our catastrophic collapse was the best of my life. For a split second I am now one as He is three, looping unopposed into life and death like continuous screaming nothing. For that, I wish I could thank you.
0
Sep 15, 2012
Sep 15, 2012 at 6:37 PM UTC
Samsara
i'm going to tell you a pathetic truth i'm getting over you, and i feel guilty for it i feel guilty for acknowledging the sprouting feelings for another man who is nothing like you and it feels so nice, i feel like i should be ashamed of it i can feel myself changing, like the phases of the moon hiding the side of my face i called my good side because it was the cheek you kissed when we began and ended i always thought i was lucky, you know if i even got to feel this way once and you were my once and i had decided it was enough and we ended i had decided it was enough the mere thought of experiencing this again restarting reintroducing refalling however many times it takes to get it right twists my heart up because i wanted to get it right the first time and with you and i'm starting to care less and that feels wrong which might make no sense because this is probably good and supposed to happen but i don't think i can take having something so good again and not being sure i get to keep it this time because what if it doesn't work out and even scarier, what if it does
0
Nov 14, 2016
Nov 14, 2016 at 8:15 PM UTC
cast under the (super)moonlight
the factory workers of my prefrontal cortex are on a raucous strike because, the train chugging them to lunch breaks at my amygdala has been broken down for days. and the now strained relay of packets of faxes from this neuron to the one all the way south on Abbey Lane, is creating untold pressure for Wernicke - so forgive me if i ask you to rephrase. despite the absent hoarded salivating mouths, the deli in my amygdala keeps on producing thousands of ******* italian subs, so now the place floods with grease-sweat from old meat that would make a carnivore remit... and it's seeping, leaking poison to Broca, who is now refusing to explain herself to the confused face projected on my retina's blurred screen. the mitochondria housed in my somatasensory are all comatose from last night's debauchery. so everything is still, numb to the touch blank on the face dead in the eyes - unaware of the incessant twitching that's rolling through my joints, muscles, skin, sore red thighs. every nucleus of every cell restarting again, again, again, but rebooting isn't clearing the glitch in the system. so just lie here with me, broken machine to broken machine - our hearts still glisten.
0
Nov 20, 2014
Nov 20, 2014 at 10:28 AM UTC
total system failure
to some spring cleaning may be about donating the shirt you haven't worn since 7th grade or dusting every single picture frame or scrubbing the tile or sweeping and vacuuming that's not my spring cleaning my spring cleaning is about changing the way i've been ever since the 7th grade and changing every single thing about me or creating the persona i want to be or removing and restarting that's my spring cleaning n.d.
0
Sep 2, 2014
Sep 2, 2014 at 1:13 PM UTC
elbow grease
I have fancied myself to be a china doll Alone on a shelf, And waiting for some caring hand To open my eyes and clean my dress - But this at best is merely fancy And at worst passes into pain. I was not made to sit lonely With my brain. Nor am I patient. To stall with no hope of restarting Is an unbearable weight, and waiting With such vague notions of the someday-to-be Is a foolish self-inflicted fate. Oh patience, you unremarkable trait. You have no care when even-handed Fate Valiantly bestows opportunity. You sit unmoving and insensate, And merely wait and wait and wait For Time's inexorable pendulum to swing And the boredom of an afternoon to bring Some visitor's hands, and perhaps some care. (Though not too much, a doll's only a plaything.) So no, I am no china doll rejecting - Stupidly - the passing glances Of strangers given to wild dances And children given to clumsy hands, No, I am no longer a fragile waiting dream Hoping to visit some loving mind And fulfill myself in a single eve, Only to trickle the rest of my nights As a empty-laughing lifeless little stream. Enough of this! I move, I leap, I sit no more. What lay on the mantle lay now on the floor. (And perchance the fall has cracked my face Warding away some unforeseen gentle embrace But) I shall find my own way into some arms, Into some wild dance. My partner will see these cracks and be Far less afraid to drop me, throw me, Lift me high and let me fall, (So I may see the world around me And - electrified at the sight - Thank myself for wanting more) Than a china doll (Could ever have hoped for.)
0
Apr 3, 2012
Apr 3, 2012 at 10:08 PM UTC
If Patience is a Virtue, Give Me Sin
I have fancied myself to be a china doll Alone on a shelf, And waiting for some caring hand To open my eyes and clean my dress - But this at best is merely fancy And at worst passes into pain. I was not made to sit lonely With my brain. Nor am I patient. To stall with no hope of restarting Is an unbearable weight, and waiting With such vague notions of the someday-to-be Is a foolish self-inflicted fate. Oh patience, you unremarkable trait. You have no care when even-handed Fate Valiantly bestows opportunity. You sit unmoving and insensate, And merely wait and wait and wait For Time's inexorable pendulum to swing And the boredom of an afternoon to bring Some visitor's hands, and perhaps some care. (Though not too much, a doll's only a plaything.) So no, I am no china doll rejecting - Stupidly - the passing glances Of strangers given to wild dances And children given to clumsy hands, No, I am no longer a fragile waiting dream Hoping to visit some loving mind And fulfill myself in a single eve, Only to trickle the rest of my nights As a empty-laughing lifeless little stream. Enough of this! I move, I leap, I sit no more. What lay on the mantle lay now on the floor. (And perchance the fall has cracked my face Warding away some unforeseen gentle embrace But) I shall find my own way into some arms, Into some wild dance. My partner will see these cracks and be Far less afraid to drop me, throw me, Lift me high and let me fall, (So I may see the world around me And - electrified at the sight - Thank myself for wanting more) Than a china doll (Could ever have hoped for.)
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45
Booting Up with or with out you . . . Retrieving my Life . . . Relinquish Bad Sectors . . . Formatting Hatred . . . Partitioning Space and Time . . . Installing New System . . . Restarting System failures . . . Loading my Pieces together. . . Starting new Stupidity . . . Waiting for another Connection . . . Synchronize with another System. . . Error Starting to Fail System . . . SYSTEM INFECTED . . . SYSTEM CORRUPTION . . . . . . THEN THE CYCLE REPEATS . . . Until Found a SYSTEM Called... L.O.V.E... ------------------------------------------ Norfhel V. Ramirez February 21 2011 / 4:42PM
0
Jan 30, 2012
Jan 30, 2012 at 10:40 PM UTC
A System of Complication
Tear, tear, tear. Spend classes tearing paper into tiny bits. Why do I do it? (Tearing until my fingers hurt.) Count, count, count. Almost run into people every few minutes. Why do I do it? (Count my bones whenever I can.) (Count the steps on the stairs when I ran.) (Count the steps I take and how many breaths I draw.) I am aware that everyone sees me, counting and tearing and restarting, and I don't want to stop even though it's not with a degree of panic. Check, check, check. Check so many things again and again, but not the things that are really important. (Check that everything's not changing or if it is.)
0
Sep 25, 2018
Sep 25, 2018 at 10:55 PM UTC
Counting, tearing, checking, restarting.
it is shocking that you think it is not shocking muttering regrets to me saying you have none to everyone else you have a big tendency of being the biggest paradox i have ever encountered i won't be waiting for the day you realize what you actually had said i ask for all the strength to push you away when you barge in for more payback is sometimes the only language you speak as well as apologies and accusations you look too close don't breathe enough of it in before acting on it you push on concrete hoping somehow you will have the strength to shatter it and when and if you do you take all the cement to fix it only to break it again back and forth always a never ending game (like ping pong) except you always have to be the winner and when you are not your language comes creeping later on though you will regret it but this time i will not care of your regrets you're wishy washy a hopeless romantic (not the good kind) little brain is racing for all these things to say you want someone mature when you cant even be that yourself you are your own version of Pandora's Box locked away sooner or later someone will come along and unlock you just like how i did now it is my turn to regret i am tired of restarting but instead of picking it back up again never stopping i will leave it run away to the closest state of mind where you do not reside
0
Jul 11, 2013
Jul 11, 2013 at 9:50 PM UTC
decision challenged
The infinite serpent that devours his own tail, as he reaches the end, is back where he began; restarting the journey inside out I don't know what's more shallow, me or the graves that I've dug. I can't tell what's more empty, my heart or the ones that I've loved. I don't feel what's on fire, Is it my eyes or the bridges I've crossed? I wonder what's more winding? My thoughts or the path that I walk. I can't decide what's more frightening, the ghosts that I carry or the people I haunt. I cant see what cuts deeper, the dagger you've drawn or the things that we want. The infinite serpent that devours his own tail, as he reaches the end, is back where he began; restarting the journey  outside in
0
Feb 24, 2012
Feb 24, 2012 at 5:10 AM UTC
Contradictions or Coincidence
It never ceases to amaze me how you can be both a blessing and a curse. Catalyzing the flourish of a relationship then infecting it with a slow killing cancer. I'm sure it amuses you, building someones endorphins before crushing them when you feel they've experienced enough to be addicted and beg you for more. Constantly blitzing forward. Incapable of taking a step back despite how much I plead.   Like some linear cellphone game; but instead of restarting when I can’t jump over, you phase through the obstacle, forcing me continue at your pace whilst tending to my wounds. And once they’ve finally healed and I become capable of keeping up with you, you introduce a larger obstacle - and I’m ****** again. Are you angry at how you can't move backwards? Is that why you're always ******* with me? Or are you able to, but savour the taste of my tears when I cry for you to do so? Or is it because you feel incarcerated by your immortality and have found that nothing else satisfies you? You’ve made me realise that happiness is an illusion. I shouldn't be such a pessimist at 17.
0
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 4:40 PM UTC
Linear
A swiss army knife in an unwelcoming God toolbox is how I would describe myself Versatile but cheap. Not profound at anyone thing. Illusionism of quantity that is mistaken for quality Many books started but never finished A vast resume both musical and medical Many half played sheet music Many diplomas full of emptiness If started but never finished adventures could be considered hoarding I would be the sickest on earth. The addiction of rebirth, restarting, and creation swallow me whole Me the addict of wanting to live many lifetimes I am the backspace bar of life The blank sheet of paper on an empty desk resting beside a newly sharpened pencil This, the description of the feeling I so desperately crave- absolutism My shakey addict hands hunger for words like; blank, clean, fresh These fuel my unhealthy obsession for second chances
0
Apr 1, 2019
Apr 1, 2019 at 10:22 PM UTC
The second chance addict
I feel like i'm restarting my heart Everytime I see a pair of eyes That look just like yours, That pear tree resting where your eyes should be Makes me think that everything is going to be okay, Okay, Okay. Things are not okay, Whenever I see your green eyes All I am paired with Is that fact that I won't be your pear anymore I see nothing but sadness What could I done differently, Differently, Differently, Hang on, I see these blue eyes That come at me like a tidal wave Over all of these barbie dolls we call people And maybe just maybe, I feel like i'm restarting my heart everytime I see a pair of eyes that look just like yours, So blue and so pure, Like the beaches we would beach on our sunday nights, We have work the next day, Yes but not now at 3am. When i'm looking at nothing else but your blue eyes Hoping that the moon will never fall, Fall, Fall. Why did you watch me fall From the tallest tower You knew when to throw the hardest of punches Harder than any tidal wave crashing against There is a reason why storms are named after people And this time that person is you. Blowing up everything but these memories On the beaches that have beached my mind. My mind, My mind, Hang on, I feel like i'm restarting my heart Everytime I see a pair of eyes That look just like yours.
0
Oct 13, 2017
Oct 13, 2017 at 1:41 AM UTC
Restart
A poet doesn't lie,        a poet omits the suppressed thoughts and sensations she will never forget The painful memories she hopes to create,        The ill-tempered words        tied to strings of hate that L o o p--              a reoccurring              pattern of               maladjusted              thinking   A sense of dread churns in your gut, writhing behind your chest cavity, invading your consciousness, shutting it down        Perspiration begins, and the rattling in your bones Nausea sets in,     reeling your blood    It's happening again,             this you know, but time will not tell when this attack will go Your throat constricts                    while time afflicts everything you've kept inside-- the emotions you've kept alive        when you should have set them free captives of your debauchery they've transformed into something ugly,            the wretch of scorn and self-pity and have unleashed their vengeance for smothering them with poisons        depriving them of breath, and of their destiny They're doing unto you, what you did unto them,        killing you tediously, disrupting your mind with    irrational fear and depleting the dopamine transmitted through your system to plague you with indifference towards reality           The symptoms it carries manipulate your thought-process, restarting the l o o p--                      a reoccurring                      pattern of                       maladjusted                      thinking
0
Apr 27, 2012
Apr 27, 2012 at 1:12 AM UTC
Loop
A poet doesn't lie,        a poet omits the suppressed thoughts and sensations she will never forget The painful memories she hopes to create,        The ill-tempered words        tied to strings of hate that L o o p--              a reoccurring              pattern of               maladjusted              thinking   A sense of dread churns in your gut, writhing behind your chest cavity, invading your consciousness, shutting it down        Perspiration begins, and the rattling in your bones Nausea sets in,     reeling your blood    It's happening again,             this you know, but time will not tell when this attack will go Your throat constricts                    while time afflicts everything you've kept inside-- the emotions you've kept alive        when you should have set them free captives of your debauchery they've transformed into something ugly,            the wretch of scorn and self-pity and have unleashed their vengeance for smothering them with poisons        depriving them of breath, and of their destiny They're doing unto you, what you did unto them,        killing you tediously, disrupting your mind with    irrational fear and depleting the dopamine transmitted through your system to plague you with indifference towards reality           The symptoms it carries manipulate your thought-process, restarting the l o o p--                      a reoccurring                      pattern of                       maladjusted                      thinking
Continue reading...
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On your bed you lay on your back wrapped up in your favorite cover Your lamp is on bringing light to your room Not too dark but not too bright a book in hand One you seem to enjoy You carefully read over most of the words sometimes going too fast and restarting the page You may laugh at what they say Or cry from the loss of a character maybe even believe you're in the story yourself With the peace and quiet of the world around you It's easy to get lost in your book Page after page You get eager to know what happens next not getting tried of the action, adventure, or romance All of it keeping you on edge You read until your eyes wake and the sun begins to rise not realizing how you lost time But all is well it was worth it in the end You finish the book and the story ends Now you seek out another just for the adrenaline of a new world What will you read next...
0
Apr 15, 2021
Apr 15, 2021 at 8:08 AM UTC
Reading at night