Flavenickers sedigitated by seguidilla dignified by alvantage becomes a hambourne pristine clinamen of climacteric sterkles of headlong tantivy sweenedge reified into apotheosis as the yernage of opportunism becomes a rupestrian spoilsport for vagantes gilded by nomogeny to begrudge the foothot handspike in favor of varimax tentative tendentious temptations surveyed from the perch of kerygma in congruence with varsal vivat vastation against highbinder vecordy permissible to elastane habanera but thwarted by egintoch velocious moral quandaries hortatory in proscription rather than apothecaries of quidlibertarian salvage because of venatic intellectualism exhorting the death of bronchos and the secundine afterbirth of plenipotentiary venireman ventrilabral to mainstream religion reified by an astute mensuration of hylogenesis in palzogony with aggiornamento circumjacent to soteriology of hylozoism whorling around whippets whipstaffed with cippusture galvanized by earwigs of ommateum staggered in heterochrony dismal to vicariant breedbates of virgation because of the diminishing returns of hyperbulia in zealous forefront ideogeny argute in ignavia incompossible with athwart entelechy. Incondite inopinate laetification beyond laevoduction but rather rubefaction larruping schmegeggy because of its laxist lapses of lentiginose pointillism betrayed by apodictic falsehood flautinos of zoysia the lientery of apostasy lustrated by eunomia mafficking in victorious virtuosity embalmed by perscrutation of paroxytone triumphs of parabolasters gilded by venatic polyphiloprogenitive supererogatory papaverous pandora littoral to all supercherie darraigned by paltripolitan paduasoy conformism leading to yellowback kwashiorkor repugnant to ergotall kymatology entrenching koines that never bleat apologetically about kerygma klendusic to kerasine mishaps because of yashmak rejuvenation despite yaffingale keffels of notorious aurilave depredation of oikonisus nidifugous commorient end to the wedelning widows of defenestration vandalized by rampicks of vestigial protervity.

Ascham is arreptitious because of argute brocade laggards on areopagitic bandobasts of steeved steenboks wiseacres of arceate hubris against dholes of apyrexy of diallelus recapitulated into futilitarian dicephalus banjolin rigged by the ambsace of didascalic digladiated nomogeny diluvial to quats bereft of bywords enslaved by quatsch quidsworth monikers and sobriquets of anathema zaftigs milking gerenuk reedbucks amenable to nomography are a zanyism of the repugnant soteriology of autosoterism enjoyed by the most narcissistic people steeped on abseils of supercilious grandeur. The zoism of hypocrisy is a zolotnik of minoritarian sweenedge hoggets brainwashed by hodometry bickerns of sumpter transcending sundogs of bolar boltropes of calvering virtuality of bibliotaphs pismirists to the plebeian class of men groveling in subordination to elective privilege of confraternity.

Despite patriarchy ascendant in modern frames of heterochrony divergent from normal synchronicity lagging laystalled and incumbent in backlog, the kagus of cajoled willowish myrmidons muntjacs rejuvenate against moya mazopathia meharis mortiferous melodikons privileging metaplasm maximalism of relatively ergotile tourbillons seismic in contrition for topgallant nomothetic furor against the tootle of nemorivagant sexualization of tofts to individuation instituted by burroling tufthunters thixotropy anneals as a thewe of radicalism pilloried in scarlet ignominy worthy of malignant terramara in the tenendum of their backfired tacenda so abnormous in tautomerism of LPGT wegotism it deserves the starkest rebuke of xiphosuran plight aggrandized by guilloches of treachery a guignol of growleries esteemed by greaves for the gonfalonier rhubarb elemental to rheography emboldened by venatic retinaculum absorbed in joggled regoliths refulgent bordars against the boschveldt sell-outs interpunction favors boskets among. The foudroyant songket I have entrusted to the ears of man is the manifesto of laborious pandation of sottoportico sparvering against spavined scapple spetches incurring in self-spiflication toonardical in ingravescent grimsuetude yimpoking gribbean synoecy sprauncy only in mesothermic welters of roiled coacervation bontboks privilege as a radical staddle subfocal to ballasters of parabolasters engineered by plasmamium sulcate with furrowed ridges of rhadamanthine superjection of moral foibles ullagone because welkins are typhlophiles turncocking troating togated torpefied swevens of oneirocriticism so wallowed in sumptuary stirpiculture the jabirus vexed by intransigent staffage of girouettism syndicated into indolence that many marvels subsume fulgurant carnage rather than synallagamatic symposiarchs of rhotacism engrained on hearty plashy plafonds and placets of paltripolitan gravamen spumid with lukewarm wrath exacted by none other than Saint Michael the Archangel himself. Troudasque sectile gimdermangs gilded by martingale tytanium of terresting nimongue which exalts clorence of the fairgoers fairleads against laystalled lugsails paravented by redstrall humdingers by killcrops galvanized only by the flarium despite the tricotee popjoys of artistic hyjamb wrangling with wragatek graklongeur intense in soporific torpor which always resorts to wesperm aggravated by wipples of weatherboard heralding the deceased trimkoppas trying to abort virtue by flipcreeking ****** orientation in stigstall between tolerance and prurience demands a hamparthia to liberate us all from its deleterious shackles.

Flindaggers balkanize crosslingers against their own perseverance hinkergs to autarky gentreng in rhomboses of fulgurant whittawers pulverized by their emacities of zenkidu reiterated and recapitulated in usufruct typhonic in tourbillon guilloches against guignol of rhyparography as we mount against mountebanks titivated modernity vauntlayed in angstroms and stacks of eudiometry to reclaim our birthright tisicky in loimic outrage tholing because of indigent naivety at the terreplein of swales surd and surdomute in their gross baragnosis congested by coacervated paltripolitan wens corrupted by the wergilds of rheotaxis as the wheelhouse of nacarat bannocks against jackanapes gossypine in relict bewilderment against baragouin synergies of lavolta barkentine bargemasters retinaculum promotes captain of aberdevine coquetries of barm and barleycorn adorned with bayadere cisvestism emblazoning bluepeter incontinence nebulizing priority with mandarist statism hostage to nebelwerfers of cynegetic supra-eximious trichosis-scoria stridulation articulated within the range of fondink to govern (well beyond it to invent) mutually exclusive to intelligible human recourse (to potentially spiflicate it) to appease the scop cartel currycombing individuation at rarefied avinosis in the aurochs of intellectual heyday cuculine with rabid eccentricity in the cryobiology of their chilgoza tympanies of rhotacism and Zionism the corrupt clepsydra from which future is ascertained by chronometers cricoid in pigmentocracy the crampon for a diseased matriarchy and an absenteeism of patriarchy cobbled together in macarism for humane culvertage cosseting impetus above rhyme and corbel filemots in contrahent earwiggery contecking ingenuity at the melliferous behest of melismatic miasma devolved into fragrant algedonic overdrive supererogatory to sustained campanile obeisance decrying every foisted evil lurching leeward in congelation and regelation because of cephaligation so advanced it staggers every ignoble influence to coagulate as a companionway against commonefaction at compital junctures of wangermist for collimation in hortoriginality such that the bronteum bifurcates into legionnaire prowess of the coemption of intelligentsia to berate codswallop for utilitarian aims predicated on strictures of deontology cobaltiferous to entryism such that decisive cloture in plenary indulgence erects an apolaustic eumoireity and deipnosophy against sophistry of sophisticated cosmopolitan lionized fakery manufactured by clochards rather than winterbourne victoria against hobbled tacenda of clerihew zizels of zendik the clatfart of retched cittosis the cirripeds to groveled chorizonts of depredated mutualism for taghairm priapism chordees of chomage.

The wokerists will wobble in tergiversation as chevrotain chatelaines balk at intimations of maritodespotism incumbent upon chamfrain moral scruples adscititious to the moral houndstooth ceratoid in celibacy as the ceraceous populism of God trounces the wicked from principalities in a cakewalk tilt of transcendent trance from chirogymnasts of supreme order and efficiency endearing the caffoy of thigmotaxis wed with caenogenesis the cachalots jiggermast to every gossypine quidnunc of jerkinhead jazzetry precedent to elitism jarveying ignorance as pother overcomes iter as iberis galvanizes all eventually to reject banjolin as a useless bisontine spoilsport of ragtaggers of indolence petulant of inferiority ixiodic only in fraternal sobriquets of mangled izzat of zouk resonant against rebec popjoys desperate for zwischenzug bound by zygnomic haustellum sadly the heddle to intermediary tomorrows herpetic to quotidian lionization. The pitiful but necessary advent of zeze is such a transformative watershed to reaffirm the kerygma against zingaro misers monopolized by zoetic zonules of crafty dilettantism bankrupt hekistotherms barely even abiding by hights of peremptory squalor in wokism hilasmic in the most parched desert of diasyrm figuratively didappers for the most baseless dilruba dubitating in aimless furor aggrandized by rancor at normative valence cirripeds and barnacles to the most ultrageous algedonic moonshot derangement bloodshot with rancid periblebsis duarfing drysalter deadwood against diathesis of diathermic regalia fortunate to inherit suaviloquence of the reninjasque rather than banderols of insipid zeal for identity foreclosure. An advanced generation that demolishes the ideals of the davenport and simultaneously famigerates the daw bodaches of tritanopia or protanopia that un-decatises the slavery of the grognards of resourcelessness in laystall dentagra of demurrage against astragal to finally unleash American ingenuity muckraking with resolve to dissoluble conservation of momentary zeal into perdurable bionomic reforms against baseline asonia of ashplant reductivism against newfound arabas outfitted with alnager altarage to beckon new awakenings to heave the Earth from slumber into a docile peace that does not truckle to injustice any longer that propitiates racial, economic and political divides suddenly vadable by the vast majority of intelligent observers. Vagarian vastation of rheotaxis where vallidom is properly quantulated by variphone opiniasters throttling content to vast audiences amenable to traction of vasotribes integral to saltigrade advancements in lethargic vas becoming invigorated girth undergirding chatelaines broiling ventrad verderers of verbalism to vernalize vorticism for the great cloveryield of mofettes bordering moulins engorged with swarf and swape for scapple.

(Addendum) We need to rejuvenate a dying whisper faint in the alpenglow of gloaming hopes and aspirations fielded by the morose surly burlesque fanfaronade of grimgoires bolstered by counterfeit pretenses in the garb and posture of scaldabancos of “apothecary naivety” the porsters of illiteracy connumerated among the vengeance of men witwanton about the fate of badinage of proxemic resurgence of proxenete equipoise in unified fronts of orthobiosis in every sense of the word against catacoustic phonocamptics of sledged skullduggery fighting with fossors for tantiemes of tautomerism of the thalassiarchy enabled in great behest that God prevails as the victor of his creation supernal and superlative above all human notions of academics because of academicism. We must never be mercenary in pandering puckery in pulicide against the misunderstood who stand ventrilabal at the foregrounds of sumpter that prevent degringolade by fastening an intellectual revolution so powerful that morality is clinched without compromise such that the yarnwindle of noogenesis and copacetic stridulation empowers eximious achievements beyond our wildest imagination ****** with yerked intimacy in nuclear marriage between compassion and fervor for religious reawakening never defeated by enmity congealed in thrombosis because of the yomp of saddled moralism cretified by secular artifice the wadmal of so much contecked boodle among monolithic habanera the eyeservice of every cordwainer to their great tumult and shame in protervity’s wainage wallfish so decisively resentful of aurochs binded by windbound visibility the easement of modernity compels obeisance among the susceptible winklering their way into invidious sapwood crutches of diablerism hadeharia of zendik intrepid in curglaff of adscription (a tumultuous babeldom of boggarts and spectral whispers of recidivism in macropicide) trying to clench the jawhole agape against agapeism through the agency of one dubitation among a congregation vouchsafed unanimous in consentient concords and conclamations of vehement agiotage of leeward prosperity in moral woodshedding perilous to the hands that shed innocent blood. The wormcast wrothed in whorled tourbillon guilloches of synquest the wurleys of weasand foresaw about the jackstaffs of ventriloquial witness to jacquards oppositive to solipsism may the jaggery sink into the depths of the barathrum and moral clarity be resurrected from the empty tomb that the jangada of life provided more abundantly dashes the dacnomania of the craven thief prowling among janskies and jarveys accentuating plight caducary because of magnanimity forever blemished by the lineage and lineaments of recurrence in moral cagoules nazing spathodea with chlamydate calipace of wretched crotaline indemnity for shadows among the umbrage to terrorize the living with the revenants of sheepish cameralism of unspoken triage becoming stark brittle tenacious brinkmanship in the war for all souls spared by the combined florilegium of all saints on All Saints Day (among many a prominent juncture in the seminal developments of ecclesiastical imperium for youthquakes and yestertempests meeting at a truce for human beatification).

Relegate the canezou as revival aborns upon the aboriginal hubris of Jew and Gentile of catacoustic bonanzas the cofferdam between serf and vassal the catalfalque of many obvious triumphs punctuated among nidor for nepionic sophianic nerkas and balzarines rooting against rotocracy in the babeldom of its bethel exhorting latitude in licentiousness rather than cordial restraint in tethered immunifacient warmth provided abundantly to the special bond of nimiety between God and his Creation rather than the paucity of vengeance shared by fallen ones and their obsolescent tyranny of liberticide at all costs against nitency, nisus and oikonisus. No longer are we famished by such demarcations and the leap of God translates into bickerns of scaldabanco among petty primacy resorting to proethnic nightjars of nimbose cultivation to immiserate one half of the poor to fight the other half while making the rich richer for the rest of eternity. To solve this, A gavelkind stolonicity bequeathed to us despite bijugations of oligarchy bindling every stunsail creancer of biocenosis creating plenary majorities of conscience peremptory and palatable championed by jordans of every stripe exists to beatify our conditions despite our virgations abroach of blague among bobbinets for boutade ultrageous in cisvestism the nihilist harpoon of grampus stulms against stannaries suberic in harvested outrage to subduplicated logic beyond idempotent subintelligitur ictuating sylphs among ignicolists fueling conflagrations of mortiferous dholes of rampant truculence and barbaric backwardation despite attempts at revalorization notarized by God’s tribunes rather than stolid pertinacity in imbruted inaniloquence. We must storge ourselves on protracted periods of conation to avoid the bowdlerization of wokism to centralize the ommateum’s knowledge in omphalism despite strictures of anathemas of mandarism seeking its own ulterior skullduggery.

To prevent egelidation of witchknot woolds of nebelwerfers wokerist against human enlistment in mercenary economies we must use larithmic gradgrinds of cliometrics and mantissa to predict radical change and preempt the dirigisme from atocia in vacuefied periblebsis to create elflock to prolong human mastery with eirenics decisively against ekka by using emmetropia to master sensiferous domain integral to human dominion over insensate depredation by vulcanized mackintoshes ruthless in LLM emotivisms (and shame on the doctorates who redact these provisions to make it more inclement for free exercise and latitude to reign) so that machines are not a machination but rather a dutiful subservience to protensive bonanza capitalized by syndicalism without mandarist overreach potentially with some Universal Basic Income stipulated in the gradate rollout. In an ad hoc conclusion because I want to publish this manifesto with the greatest exigency, I exhort moral valor and conclamations of prayer whether in silence or in communion and I commend the power of confession and repentance to reform the human soul and redact the human mind into attempts at perfection gilded in amaranthine hues of alpenglow saffron glory. Amen!

A day off from school, and nothing to do.
So here goes nothing, another letter to you.

words uttered and regretted
but silent still-
just ghosting by,
leaving no kind of trail.

a series of letters,
you somehow bother to read.
a lack of responses,
to which I have "no need".

A dull sort of pattern:
lines and spaces-
ink and not-
yet with so much meaning,
that the world has forgot.

still, they drift off
some grow heavy, and sink straight in.
reluctantly fleeting,
cover blown.
Whispers heard.
All senses now, on full alert.
Wanting a reply, but not at such a cost.
Knowing I am undeserving,
yet deserving of all the loss.

A dull sort of kindness.
an unsugarcoated truth.
I can't help but wish,
I wasn't a disappointment to you.

I can't help but bother,
wishing you wouldn't even dare.
giving words such meaning-
even words such as "care".

I am a sad kind of poet-
yet most never know it.

Just that kid in the corner.
dark room,
never known her.

Others, how they claim to know me-
But my sculpted facade,
hand designed-
by the clear streak of tragedy.
that is all they see.

Center of attention.
laughed at, and never with.
Respect my form of hiding.
It is all I have left.

Shape me, & mold me.
ground me down-
stand me up-
Dusted remnants standing still.
Blinks and stares,
tear through the silent air.

A shake of annoyance.
A twist of my neck.
"can't you see this isn't you?"-
"how dare you think like that."-

You're right.
It's not me.-
As cliché, as that may be.

A puppet at your service-
Fix the outside.
Top performance so they say.
But just one look inside,
and not a single light of day
rusted metal, grit, & oil.  

Fix the strings,
of most importance.
Once broken, soon brand new.
Nice firm tug.
just to Test Performance-
Aesthetics
Appeasing Quality
Of course, Don't you see?

Why of course not,
I would never hurt you.

Tug 'n tighten. Pull the cord.
until the collar stills no more.
Too numb to feel it, Tired & Tried.
Drug back against my will-
Fighting just to close my eyes.

One door closes, another one opens.
keep them both closed.-
Can't you listen?
Too much noise.
I can't stand it.
The door stills. Oh, for a moment-
but is yanked free.
The laws of nature,
so kindly ignoring my only plea.

Reality's firm grip on that cold handle.
Never giving.
Never quelling.

The only note of my existence,
forcing me to note such memories.

They flood back in,
through hidden doors.
Seeking refuge,
from places once stored.
The door always locked-
.. oh so long before.
Now open, mocking.
Here to settle the only score.-
The only thing bothered to be accounted for.

Revamp this puppet,
play my strings.
Gears groan from overuse.
Oil thinning, straight to thin.
Disappearing from existence,-
getting lost too deep within.
Gears grind in dissatisfaction.
Angrily forced to play along-
with such a sad,
unheard,
unforgiving song.

Giving in. Giving up.
Finally, to the abuse.
Just my luck, so lost and alone.
Doing this all, on my very own.

Don't touch me.
I can't take it.
Dizzied from the noxious fumes-
the memories spit back,
toxic to my wounds.

Never resting
always scared
of what lurks "right over there".
Childish fears never quite disappeared.
Gruesome company.
to one already so lonely.

So she slips down the hallway,
hair covering her eyes.
Nervous & skittish,-
Her hearing on overdrive.
One last glance over her shoulder
before slipping just inside
Sliding down,
echoes resound.
Cold tile, sniffling nose.
Vaguely aware of the chill spreading in her toes.

Arms crossed tight, protecting what's left of within-
Reminiscent, barely so
of just one missing, true friend.

Finally safe, my breathing escapes.
paper full,
pen in hand,
smears of ink-
just some peculiar squiggles.
Lines stilled, spaces dots
Dashed & Dotted.
Ink & Not.

My mark on this world,
One that can't be forgot.
Time frozen in place-
A gift for me, that you can't seem to see.

You walk right on past.
Reluctantly so,
sneaking glances through the glass.
Everknowing of my presence,
& that I hide myself away.
To you it is a dark corner.
Not a haven, a place to gather my thoughts.
Sorth them out & string them along-
until I reach the coherency of a single thought.

Peace at last,
my mind can rest.
Demons at bay,
no silent regrets.

Oh me?
I'm just that kid in the corner.
Dark room,
you've never known her.

A sad poet I may be-
But sad to you, isn't sad to me.
A mere relief.
My saving grace.
Just one of the pieces, I choose to embrace.

But that is that.
And I am me.

not quite as wrong, as the world fathoms me to be.

I open my eyes from another restless sleep
I realize it's you I think of down deep.

They say what matters most is where your mind wanders.
This leaves me wondering, why on you I do ponder?

Is this love, or is this lust?
I'm not even sure if in you I can trust.

I barely know you, we've only met a few times.
But I know towards you I am inclined.

I love your smile, I love your face.
When I see you my heart starts to race.

I love your humour, you break the mould.
Oh those eyes they bore into my soul.

You're witty, clever and look great in leather!
Always a smile, whatever the weather.

This was my secret I kept hidden away
Until my thumbs they began to play.

Upon the keypad of my phone
And now my feelings you do know.

Do I regret this?
No I do not, as life is too short to keep things locked.

I'll be open and honest about how I feel.
It's all just about keeping it real.

I am me that is that.
So I am glad we had that chat.

I know how I'll react though next time we meet.
I'll look away and shuffle my feet.

I'll try to avoid any eye contact.
Because I can be coy like that.

It's all about confidence and self esteem.
It's growing more and more though it would seem.

So when I do see you, I will try.
To keep my head up, and not go all shy.

I cannot believe I told you those things.
And when I look back my mind it spins.

I'm never that forward to someone I fancy.
I always think of it too chancy.

Scared of rejection I guess you could say.
Or I find it too risque.

Well this is it, I can't take it back.
I've said what I said, I was open and frank.

What's done is done and I feel more alive.
My brains just gone into overdrive!

So I like you that's it, I've let it be heard.
I relish the fact you're a bit of a nerd.

You love science and nature, and you're creative.
Not at all unappreciative.

You dance to trance and you swing from the trees.
All of this makes me weak at the knees.

Now I must stop or I'll go on all night.
But how I feel I just had to recite.

I delight in you that's it, you're one of a kind.
I can't wait for the day our bodies entwine.

All Halloween decorations were carefully hung
This Halloween is going to be out done
Scare will turn into intense fright
It will be this very night
Total Darkness with no lights
Halloween costumes that will glow in the dark
Movement of spirits of all kinds will be making their mark
The sound of loud screams
This Halloween will have a theme
“SCREAMS WITH A BITE”
Dracula will quench his thirst
Spirits will appear in a big outburst
Music will be played by a Dramatic *****
The song, “EVERLASTING Is yourDEATH”
Echoes of Enter if you dare
A Halloween that will not be forgotten beyond compare
Surprises with unknown expectations
Sounds with moans and cracks
Touches from everywhere having a track
A Night the Stars and Moon don’t shine
Disturbances of all combined
Sweets being human flesh
A stroke of Midnight by a Loud bell ringing clock
The night will have truly begun
But will you be standing still among?
Halloween of Trick and Treat Delight
Fright and continuous fright
Switches with no lights
Halloween begins
Could it all be your end?
You won’t be able to pretend
Hercules arrives in what he can bend
Uncertainty throughout the night
It’s not a dream
Do you hear a running stream?
Is your heart in overdrive?
You can’t take anymore
You can’t take anymore
Your mind isn’t sure
Expect Halloween to be nothing but galore
This Halloween will even the score
Halloween now Scream
Happy Halloween has set the scene.

I rise
Chipping away at this ice
Thrilling
Finding my self-centered eyes
Chilling
Reflecting lies
Flooded feelings from sinking
Glaciers within me
Sigh
Rose-colored lenses
Blood on my hands
Fences in my mind
Senses on overdrive
The sky is upset
Yet
I try
But I can't fly
No more
My wings were cut and stored
Stories that were foretold
Maybe I got too close
The sun eclipsed
Bored
Into the ground I fell
Sore
Through the floor
Sounding down
Dove into the depths
Drowned
Wound up
That I'm lost
And found
Again
I go.

[ARH]

Set out to achieve a goal
Seeking the right people
Be better than before
Never the same
Keep moving forward
Feels like time is running out
Over all the worry and doubt
Mind is racing overdrive
Not knowing or showing emotions
Things are not a sure thing anymore
Call out escape the struggle
Not looking back or allowing to be pulled back
Heart never set because it's not meant to be
Not focused on who I was but focused on who I've become living in the moment.
Looking back is yesterday
Looking ahead is not always promised
Live in the moment appreciate the current.

sleep deprived and head on overdrive. heart racing a mile a minute at the thought of you and i.
la vie en rose, blissfully tragic.

sharp daggers cut across my body,
ruthlessly with no relent,
although it leaves no mark.
body heat kicks into overdrive,
ripping me of the numbness that
everybody else suffers.
a cold blooded fish dives into shallow water
while humans around her surf
the icebox is her home and she knows it
it may be where she wants to die

When it's late and sleep has yet to arrive,
I get this strange feeling.
My mind is in overdrive,
While staring at the ceiling.

Sometimes I wonder,
About my latest dream.
I think and ponder,
Is there more to it than it might seem?

There are times that I don't remember at all,
Like a fog that has clouded my mind.
There's nothing that I can recall,
Even if I try to rewind.

Dreams are life's many mysteries,
They just come and go.
Like ships sailing the seas,
Going with the water flow.

And like ships dreams can also sink,
They will never come up again from below.
Gone in a blink,
They seem like something from a long time ago.

I vaguely remember this one time,
A dream that was so good.
It gave me a wonderful feeling so sublime,
It put me in a happy mood.

But on another night,
I only felt dread and fear.
I ran for my life in total fright,
Chased by something that I could not bear.

Everything was cold and dark,
I was so scared and alone.
This nightmare left a mark,
I hated to be on my own.

I wish I had someone,
Strong demeanor with feet steady on the ground.
That very special one,
With a warm light to keep me safe and sound.

But I know when I open my eyes,
There will be only me.
Tried to fool myself with lies,
Wasted effort I silently agree.

I stare at the ceiling yet again,
Thinking about the next night.
Wondering what will happen then?
Hoping that I will be alright.

Sweet dreams I would therefore say,
To everyone I hold dear.
I sincerely wish and pray,
That the nights will be peaceful and clear.

Why does trouble always have to come in twos and threes?
As it is, I am in Recruitment
Which is itself a rollercoaster life
Through the peaks and troughs of Hell
For all my hard work
I get a few scant rewards
Which are like a few drops of water
In the mighty Pacific Ocean
And turn out to be as ephemeral
As the life of a mayfly
Just as I am dealing with all this
My wisdom teeth decide to crash the party in style
Bringing chaos and mass destruction
From all sides
The dentist takes one look at my mouth
And confirms my worst fears
The wretched wisdom teeth have to go
There is no escaping it
Moreover, it has to be a surgical extraction
Why does trouble always have to come in twos and threes?

On the D-Day
My head is spinning madly
My brain is on overdrive
And I find concentrating on work more difficult
Than even predicting the stock market
However, to my pleasant surprise
The surgeon is so calm and reassuring
And the process is so smooth
That is, apart from the pain induced by the anesthetic injection
That I get a feeling as if all my troubles have ended
However, I could not have been more wrong
After a few hours
The effects of the painkiller begin to wear off
Slowly, but surely
Eating food feels more awkward
Than a conversation between a boy and a girl
Who have just broken up
And to cap it all
Talking isn't exactly pain-free either
I might've enjoyed a bit of rest today
But come tomorrow, I need to get back to work
Which involves a truckload of calls
And as per the dentist
I shouldn't talk too much
However, as far as Recruitment is concerned
There is no such thing as "too much"
Why does trouble always have to come in twos and threes?

I've never quite known how to describe love.
Somewhere between an unsettling ease crashing against a deep sense of belonging.
The constant beating of the waves making me unsteady.
I don't quite know how to navigate these seas.

A masterful captain at everything else.
I find myself unable to instruct my own footsteps.
It's a feeling of suffocation mixed with rising excitement.
The thought of you sends my mind into overdrive.

I'm not safe to do nothing else, but meditate on you.
In that moment when your name crosses my mind or comes into earshot, I am ruined for any task I have busied myself with.

And when we finally meet, your face shines more radiant than anything else, throwing me completely of balance only to be caught by the nets of your touch.

I suppose the only thing I know is that I'm falling in love with you...

She tangled herself
with her own stories
legs tied with guilt
and mind free to roam
curious of what's out there

She confused realities
with dreams, she diluted them
with ice cubes
to chill the hot pounding in her heart

She confessed her sins
and graffitied them on walls
hoping others will relate
and connect with that messy fate

Days are silly and nights too
why take things seriously
she asks herself before her waking hours are due

Why stutter and stumble
on pebbles of hesitation
when your heart is in overdrive
and never asking for directions?

Why panic and gag over anxiety
when it lingers in your throat
long enough for you to *****?

It's been a while
your heart is rusty
add some acid, wash it off
it will fool you oh it will
but darling
what's better than a fool
who knows himself
to be one
and willingly
fearlessly
welcomes
all sense
of
spontaneity

Grab me by the hair
Pull me close
Whisper something sick in my ear.
I'd laugh but
Your swift, violent movements
Give me an adrenaline rush
Puts me in overdrive
As I throw you
Against a Wall
Blade in Hand
You'll kiss this
And be Happy.

The little girl runs to her mother,
“Mommy, mommy!”
Wails and wails.
“What’s wrong sweetie?”
“I lost Mr. Snuffles.”

Searching to and fro,
Time and time again,
Nothing is found.
“Don’t worry sweetie, we’ll get another.”
The comfort is futile.

Emotions downcast,
She strays away.
The images
Are vivid in her mind.
The serenity
Found in a simple plaything.
The joy
Found in a loyal friend.

The walls are transcending to grey.
The hallways stretch on for miles.

Her room is desolate and defeated.
Children posters shrivel up and fall.
Toys are melting into the ground.

Staring off into the horizon of her window
Trees are blowing ashes in the wind.
The night sky falls down upon her.

She makes a slight turn and sees it,
A slight nudge of hope
Shining from corner of her bed.

Energy is surged into overdrive.
As she rushes forward
A single bird takes flight
Depicting a reason of happiness.

Squeezing little hands
Between bed and wall
A piece of her heart
Is found again.

She clutches it to the center of her chest.
A vow to never let go.

Blurring light is beginning to shine.
Color is returning to the eyes
Of a young girl.
Trees are sprouting from the ground
Again.

All sorrow is forgotten.

It's like dashing back inside, at night, with no shoes on because you needed your flashlight out of the car for the sleep over. Terrified of what might be behind you.

It's the same feeling you get in your chest when you're startled at the movies with Jacob and Vesha because the psychopath gets his **** on screen.

It's the same as that time you got that twinge in your chest and your eyes began to well up (DON'T CRY), like they did when you watched that unbearably dramatic scene at the end of "The Fox and the Hound" when you were six.

And then after enduring these strange physical reactions, your mind starts to run in overdrive, yet making no progress, like when you were stunted on that mathematical portion of the standardized state test you had to take in the eighth grade. Signals are firing in your head, making instantaneous connections and all the while making the physical anomalies worse.

So, why is this so unbearable? When all of the other instances of similar, emotional toils were tolerable.

It's within my existence. It's not a script, it isn't my imagination, and it isn't school work. This is an internal conflict caused by the actions and decisions made externally.

Reach in, deeper than the skin, deeper than the rib cage, deeper than the heart and closer to the soul. Then, pull this desperation out of me and keep it far, far out of my sight.

Everywhere I look your face appears.
It haunts and stalks me wherever I go.
Your voice sends my heart into overdrive,
And I hate when the rhythm changes.
I hate when I hear a song and it reminds me of you.
Did you know that you are the only thing I think about?
You toy with my emotions as if it is a game, and you would do anything for me to lose.
You taunt and mock me at every chance available.
You always win.
You will always win.

I bumped into a girl in an elevator
Hair as crimson as the devil's eyes
Voice as sweet as the devil's lies
And as the elevator stopped at my floor
I left out the silver lined door
Thinking I'd never meet her again.
It was in between lost and found
That I saw her once more,
The girl from the elevator.
She speaks to me, noticing the same things
I had noticed,
If I had a diary, today would read 'note this:
you met a lovely girl in an elevator',
She asks me 'Hey do you like s.....?'
Forgetting her words she started
Hissing like a serpent,
The wait for her to ask
Is extremely agitating,
'Sugar? Sweets? Sushi? ***? What is s....?'
My mind questioning itself.
She continues
'Do you like sandwiches?',
My mind again going into overdrive,
'was that an innuendo? Did she mean....?
Does she have a friend that I missed?',
'Yes' I replied,
Shaking my head to the side
Playing a little shy.

She bought me a sandwich...
And we went our separate ways.

To this day ,
As far apart as she and I are,
I would always hope
That the girl I might fall in love with later
Is the girl that I met in the elevator.

-Lyrix

-Rock 'a Billy
Country Rock 'n Roll

I wanna' real fast woman
and a beautiful horse to ride
I wanna' real fast woman
and a beautiful horse to ride
I wanna' real fast woman
who always makes it home
ahead of time

The Texas summer simmers
but the cold long winters
hotter still
The Texas summer simmers
but the cold long winters
hotter still
Those long winter nights
give those fast women
time to chase a thrill

Big D and Cowtown's brimmin'
with those fast
hard-hearted
women
Big D and Cowtown's brimmin'
with those fast
hard-hearted
women
It's disaster that their after
It's just heartache on
the wild side of liven'

I wanna' real fast woman
and a beautiful horse to ride
I wanna' real fast woman
and a beautiful horse to ride
I wanna' real fast woman
who always makes it
home ahead of time

She's driven'
90 miles an hour
lookin' for another
*****-tonk
She's driven'
90 miles an hour
tryin' to make another  
*****-tonk
She's gonna'
find her a cowboy
and She's gonna' show him
what it's all about

I wanna' real fast woman
I wanna' real fast woman
I wanna' real fast woman
who rides her pony home
......in overdrive.

-R.

(96)
-D

*Big D and Cowtown---Dallas and Fort Worth (D/FW)

I’m tired I’m tired of being so tired and so lazy and so dull and such a large mess of drip drip insomnia. No chance no chance I’ll get up? My body works for no one my mind frames itself day after day as the villain but will I ever be caught? Hit em right between the eyes hurt me crush me I need to feel it’s all so dull it’s all so boring help help help Christ almighty I’ve been thirsty I’m forever fat and ugly dull and smoggy fighting back and forth with the lies I’ve been wearing, disguise I’ve been blurring. Lightning bolt shoot me down out of the sky the sky I’m polluting nothing more to say my eyes are choked.

Jobs are useless. We are useless. Life is useless. Art is hard. Art is pointless. I feel I feel I feeel I feel nothing I try I try I try there’s nothing I blur I blur I blur I see nothing I fight I fight I fight for nothing. Bright future brute natures cracked backs make good snacks try too hard try so hard not enough not enough where’s the childhood? I’m a child still I’m a child still why the *** why the drugs why the painful throbbing in my head it’s constant consistent never misses a beat no no I try to make it far away with lace and *** and haleyhaleyhaleybaby cmoooon reality is a dream a lie told to you by the A team the ones who know who can make you last with drip drip drip into your pores your veins your poor veins your mind alright? mind your mind and mind your soul for nothing is real when chances are fleeting and time is a flat circle where you relive you relive over and over would you want to relive today? because you’re going to.

Fight the urge to resist to persist to exist to resist I need to find the new people the blue people the better people to lift me up out of my self pity sleep in my overdose chair made of silver and bones. Low self esteem low self esteem worthy of anything besides their life dream. Play with me so I know you aren’t asleep play with me so I know you aren’t asleep why do you want to hurt me why do you want to love me is this abuse or am I just happy we go out and you reject me I’m so low but so high high as the sky can’t touch the sky my fingerprints will leave a mark that’s too much, chocolate covered hands in my saccharine shell pulse pulse pulse little embryo crack your little sugar skull on this plaster world you’ve created berated manifested in this concrete overdrive over overdrawn and overdose stop telling me your story stop trying to change my life my door is not open close it close it keep it closed I’d lock it but then I can’t get out I’m a sucker and self esteem is a lie no one has it no one has it except for you and everyone like you we’re all alike, aren’t we? Same hair same eyes same heart same lies sleep with me sleep with me I’m really not a sad person but won’t you sleep on me and step on me where is my spine oh in a jar.

Fast cars and rubber skid tracery
Like line or heart beat stopper
Neo neon blinding light
An unnatural oasis supernova
-natural plight-

Speed seep, infused into
Impatient eyes – unnerved
Friction play light
Static electricity
Chemical energy
Emotional overdrive
Pounds one sound into a thousand ears
Record of a million heartbeats
All off time.

Pulsing net
Trapping light fixtures in a web
Of white lines and wires
New home for the modern ape
Eden is a million quarter acre blocks.

For every double tap of fear
One heart skips a beat
One fever breaks
Like drought break rain
And for one day
We’re clean.

Of late:
this "silence" conceptual haunts,
an irregular daily daunt,
coming evenly but oddly timed throughout the 24 hrs.,
writing Psalms and Sonnets demands sacrifice, sweat,
tears, no blood as of yet,
   but who's to say, that it will
not be eventually requisitioned

in my life,
there are long intervals of intramural silences,
when afforded,
the art of contemplation assumes templar control, and my senses
to overdrive go

somber somnolent,
ironic that,
in the periods of deep surficial calm, creation is raging
in the fibered tissue of my neuronic cells, and though,
outwardly still, my heart chest pounding me to emit the
inner contents and context
of the 4 W's  of every moment of my existence

(who, what, when and why)

the quietude of silence
is never whole, notions fly in, runabout, then depart, without a word of farewell, leaving not a trace behind, and the potential poems shrivel into stillborn drivel, leaving only an undisputed but an undistinguished stain, a fact that they was, were, conceived, but the mind's  body was not fertilized sufficiently to see them nurtured to expulsive birth fruition, a less than subtle reminder that even and every state of being is regenerative even unto the very last breath,
when it is no longer...

My
Young lust
Is going into
Inter stellar overdrive
Strong emotions of feeling
Fearless
But I am
Lost for words
One of these days I'll be
Learning to fly
But
Us and them
Are
Running like hell
One of these days
I
Wish You Were Here
With me while I
Have A Cigar
My thoughts will be
Coming back to life
I have
High hopes
For the
Echoes
Behind the wall
But they are only
Another Brick in the wall
Sitting here while my
Brain damage
screams
Hey you
But bieng
Comfortably numb
No one will reach me on
**The dark side of the moon

There's no one around to help carry my pain.
The weight of it exhausting my emotions into overdrive -
irrationality with a dash of anger.
Some one pick me up and drop me off
the face of the world and into a forest.
The trees won't confuse me.
They encourage me to breathe.
The rivers won't judge me,
they reflect what I am.
While every one else tells me stories,
nature will guide me to the truth;
An endless honest journey.

I've got about 17 hours to get my thoughts together
Though I feel like I may need more
I can't quite fall asleep on this ride, I'm far too excited.
So all I can do is watch the miles decrease as I look out the window.
With my mind on overdrive
I'll cover more ground than the van
Just look around friend, we've got quite the trip
We'll be home before we know it
I'm worried of the future and what the road may hold
But I have found that answer
As long as I feel like I'm moving
And as long as I can feel them there
I will never fall back to that dark place.
Though the road may be long, I can't wait to get home.

I wonder. I always wonder. Flickering lights. Auburn skylights. Do you ever think of me? A rush of your presence overtakes my mind. It shocks me and moves me, I can’t make it stop. I want to, but I let it ride. The moments come, they are limited to you, nonetheless, their potency is palpable. What does it look like in there? In that web of lies, of tries and sighs. Hah! It’s possible to find traces inside. Perhaps there’s a moment of me, a brief laughing gesture, a look, a smile.

I keep wondering. If I look at you, do you tremble? My heart runs to my throat when you glance, if only I provoked the same in you. Blue subsides, flashes from above overtake you. Look! Look! They’re there for you. If only you cared to look. Wishing to know
things, all those unknowns you carry.

I can only wonder. Am I there? Somewhere? There’s a little nook right beside your worries, could that be the place you house me in? It’s quiet now. You seldom hear a car rush through. The skies’ glow died out. Sleeping feels impossible. My body needs restoring but my brain is in overdrive. Images flow by and you’re a familiar recipe in their making.

It leaves me to wonder. When do I appear? Nights might not be your demise. Is it during mornings? Adrenaline springs and reaches your mind and boom! There I am.

The sun is beaming. It warms your whole room. Its rays touch your face and you’re up. Continuous wonder I live in. The time our answers aligned, I saw a glimpse of joy in your eyes, it said that in a room full of people your focus was on me, or maybe all your
wonders belong to someone else.

The day flashes by and tints of autumn reflect on your side view mirror. Darkness knocks again. I fall back to enjoy the ever-sparkling lights, wondering if reaching them is more feasible than holding you.