I remember that day like it was yesterday.
What happened, you claim, was barely horseplay.
Will you ever comprehend,
That what you did, I didn’t “misunderstand”?

Perhaps you’d like to blame it on your upbringing,
Because your dad taught you to control a woman who doesn’t have the “right” thinking.
Mexican patriarchy is ******, but it is you who chose to comply with it.
So don’t claim you aren’t responsible for the sins you commit.

Today I speak,
For I refuse to be weak.
Today I’ll unfold the truth I never wanted to accept,
When I was just a little under 15 and felt completely wrecked.

I stand today to expose you **** as I’ve been,
A monster in full shape and form, guilty of ****** while you grin.
You’ve kept your eyes shut to my dreadful sensations,
But today you will listen to my crude allegations.

We were in your house in Mexico where you locked me in the basement.
You claimed you wanted privacy, but only offered me enslavement.
Maybe it really was my bad luck,
When I believed you when said you loved me, but didn’t realize you only wanted to ****.

A monster, you pinned me against the wall,
I hit my head and cried, beginning to feel like your personal doll.
Touching my head where I discovered that I bled,
I reached for your hand, but you only grabbed mine to throw me onto bed.

When I was five, mother told me monsters don’t exist,
But today I am a witness to the contrary, as I know angels and devils coexist.
You are a monster for what you did to me,
For you pretended not to hear my plea.

A monster, you tied me onto your bed,
And ripped my clothes until I was left with nothing but a thread.
I begged you to stop and pushed you away,
But you slapped me and pressing your body against mine, told me you were here to stay.

A monster, your tongue against my breast,
And I completely undressed,
I watched your face transform,
Like a caterpillar taking its new form.

You, a monster, a demon, and a coward,
Faced a broken soul who had not yet flowered.
You took your hands and forced my flower to bloom,
Though it did not unfold with pleasure, but with fear of ending in a tomb.

And like a painter facing an empty canvas,
You traced me from head to toe as I lay nearly dead on the mattress.
You carved your name onto my body and robbed me of my innocence.
A monster, you obliterated my purity, leaving bruises as evidence.

A monster, you watered my flowers with the filthiest juice,
Not with God’s purest waters, but your own waters of abuse.
I weeped and screamed and in that moment begged for a God to exist,
I even prayed, but found no angels to untie my wrists.

If you really loved me, then you would look past your lust,
But you never did and chose to break me with each and every ******.
Rocking back and forth I was controlled by you, a monstrous puppeteer,
Your *** danced down my legs as I watched you cold and with fear.

A monster, you carefully tamed me to satisfy your *** drive,
Never did I imagine I would go to Hell and come back alive.
Today I stand a witness of your repulsive proclivity,
Penetrated by a monster who awaited for the trophee he believed was my virginity.

It wasn’t just a simple “quickie”,
The way you threw me around and used me.
I may have stood still and allowed you to profanate me,  
But I always threw up once you finished touching me.

People say our dreams are reflections of our memories fused with fantasies,
But there is no magic in the nightmares I regard as tragedies.
I’ve spent four years feeling entitled to nothing but pain,
And stay awake fearing my memories will haunt me, crashing into me like a train.

I wash my body once, twice, and thrice to flush away the picture of your fingers,
Scrubbing and scrubbing to ensure I numb my skin from your smell that lingers.
Your colossal hands a million times larger than the girl they groped,
Remind her of the million times she was choked.

I only wish you could understand what it feels like to be someone’s puppet,
A doll you can pull, stretch, bend over backwards and play like a trumpet.
It’s difficult to accept I’ll always feel possessed,
That the monster who injected me with his poison jerks off to the thought of being caressed.

You are the reason I’ve sought the sharpest blade,
To slash my skin and mark your cannonade.
But I can’t slice you out of my body,
As slicing my skin with glass won’t provide me with an antibody.

A monster, you conquered my body with a single purpose,
You kept me in the darkness to guarantee your coitus.
I’m sorry my ******* wasn’t as **** as your *******,
I blowed as fast as I could to prevent a flatline on my Electrocardiography.

I’m sorry I had to fake an ******,
But I had to escape you once you threw me into a chasm.
Navigating in the maze where I was constantly abused,
Was difficult having no compass to pretend I was being seduced.

I spent years looking for an exit out of your maze,
Taking too long to realize this wasn’t only a phase.
Some blame me for being too oblivious,
For wearing a blindfold and perceiving you as chivalrous.

And perhaps you blame me for being too naive,
Because I wished for you to change on New Year’s Eve.
I sought a fairytale, forgetting Cinderella did not meet her prince,
But a wolf who impaled her with his claws and abandoned her since.

I was your slave for two long years,
And you, a monster, showed me each and every one of my fears.
But I have lived in spite of my trauma,
And today I stand to scold you for this drama.

I no longer fear the monster inside my head,
For I understand many others will dwell ahead.
But my monster will no longer haunt me in my sleep,
For now I sleep knowing I have my body to keep.

I am strong, proud and bold,
And I have found my place in this world.
No longer will I let you win,
For it is you who reeks of sin.

Does it make me sick to empathize with your situation?
To feel for your pain and share your deeply held frustration?
Is it you who is wicked for being a pervert?
Or me for wanting you to hurt?

How can I wish you the greatest agony,
When I would never want anyone, not even my monster to experience my tragedy?
I am being torn in different directions,
But I’m no longer tied down to successful erections.

Monster, I thank you for your rotten kisses,
For the hundred bruises and tight stitches.
I now know my body is a shrine,
And that I am my own lifeline.

No longer will I feel soiled by your hands.
For I have built new dams.  
I now look at my own reflection,  
And see a figure composed of fascinating lines shielding me from your infection.

I am on my way to finding my peace,
But need to put my thoughts together to find my release.
It may be forgiveness, prevention or punishment,
But no longer will I undermine my own torment.

It may sound funny when I say I wish I was a superhero,
So I would know when a girl is in danger of touch and close to Ground Zero.
I’ve lived my years carrying the guilt of watching women fall one by one,
Of never being able to prevent another unwanted son.

I now understand there is only so much I can do,
For I am an ordinary person with a big heart turned blue.
I only wish my words will inspire, the victims of this fire,
To embrace their burns and wear them as an iron attire.

My growth and strength came as a result of patience,
It took years and tears to show me a way out of complacence.
But in an effort to give you a lift,
I have found myself adrift.

I have tried to be a saviour,
Forgetting to save myself before and bring myself to shore.
Today is the day I become my own light,
And fight to stay bright in the night.

Monster, you may now live in paradise,
Walking around as the devil in disguise.
But I believe in divine retribution,
And live in peace knowing you will get your fatal conclusion.

You are a monster, and I was your prey,
But today, I am no longer in decay.
With these words I purge myself of your touch,
For I’ve released my demons back into Hell and no longer seek a crutch.

Beastly is this monster state yet many damsels cannot avoid
Some may call it disturbingly conflicting and become annoyed
Where rationality coexists with irrationality in an unstable realm
Pretty monster states navigate this journey as captains at the helm

Pretty monster states, Pretty monster states
No need to disguise your fury or depressions
Pretty monster states, Pretty monster states
This is just part of your amazing expressions

Wonder is this monster state since the inception of Adam and Eve
Men can only hope to be compassionate, steadfast and never peeved
One moment, pretty monster states can be loving and best friends
Next moment, challenging one’s good nature and spirit to extreme ends

Pretty monster states, Pretty monster states
No need to disguise your fury or depressions
Pretty monster states, Pretty monster states
This is just part of your amazing expressions

Frightful is this monster state like a suspenseful thriller or mystery
Only those who are not faint of heart can sleuth this case history
Where a profound will of character serves to stabilize one’s constitution
Bringing the monster state to an uneventful but amenable restitution

Pretty monster states, Pretty monster states
No need to disguise your fury or depressions
Pretty monster states, Pretty monster states
This is just part of your amazing expressions.

I so hate that monster
That monster that takes your breath
I so hate that monster
That monster that eats away at your spirit
I so hate that monster
That monster that steals your time away
I so hate that monster
That monster that tries to take you from me
I so hate that monster
That monster that dims your bright light
I so hate that monster
That monster that has hi-jacked your health
I so hate that monster
That monster that is always lurking in the shadows
I so hate that monster
That monster that will not win this battle!!!

An evil monster blocks my path.
It looks at me while giving a sinister grin.
With fear in my heart, I try to fight it.
My efforts are in vain.
The monster overpowers me.

The monster leaves me defeated.
Laughing, the monster rushes to attack my friends.
One by one the monster hurts them.
All just to torture me.

Tears run across my face.
For, I am helpless to stop the monster.
All I could do was watch the horror,
Unable to fight anymore.

I recall all the times
That I needed to be strong,
But failed to achieve victory.

A friend reaches out to me.
His last words begin to spark something in me.
The monster sees this and kills him.

Something awakens in me.
Out of rage, I transform.
Pain causing me to go beyond my limits.
Latent power that I never knew I had explodes.

The monster looks back at me.
The monster is speechless,
And begins to shake.

With sharp eyes,
I challenge the monster again.
The battle is once again one-sided.
However, this time,
I overpower the monster.

The monster is unable to keep up anymore.
The pain the monster had dealt,
Was paid back.
The monster gets desperate,
But the monster’s efforts are in vain.

With borrowed strength,
plus the rage and sorrow burning in my heart,
I slay the monster for good.

Exhausted and the battle over,
I smile while shedding one last tear.

I see the work of my hands
I see the results of my will
I set my eye over the lands
I know I was too weak on that hill
I didn’t realize the journey’s demands
The pains in my side remain still

I set my foot upon that path
Over my shoulder I saw my pain
I run from the Monster’s wrath
If his way is made, I will be slain
There on my arm, I see the ****** ****
It seems this journey will be in vain

The Monster haunts me in my dreams
He follows on this path with chasing
No matter how loud I cry, it seems they won’t hear my screams
No one knows just what I’m facing
I run until I see flowing streams
And find my love, we’re embracing

From this dream I wake
The truth in this dream I dread
With this Monster, my will may break
But on this path, I will tread
And I will walk until I ache
On the path my Father led

I wander down this lonely road
In this deep dark wood
As I walked alone, my pace it slowed
Until I stopped and stood
By the streams that flowed
And for a time, all was good

The fire I had built begins to smolder
The smoke from the dead warmth rose
The night then grew colder
I thought for sure I would be froze
Then I saw the Monster over my shoulder
I can see in his eyes, my fear shows

I run hastily away from the Monster
He chases me through the dark
I know he leads me to slaughter
If only I could create a spark
In the darkness, I would no longer wander
Then maybe I might hit my mark

The Monster leaves me at sunrise
My pain vanishes with the light
My soul is calm like sunny skies
For a time, all is right
But as soon as the sun dies
There comes the pain of night

My night is filled with torment
And my days filled with fear
This journey is filled with lament
Oftentimes I fear the end is all too near
It seems something I cannot prevent
And the injuries I’ve acquired are all too severe

The pain is too great to continue down this road
Knowing the Monster is on my back
The weight I carry is too heavy of a load
The courage to continue is something I lack
But my Father gave me guide with the words he wrote
And with each encounter, I defend the Monster’s attack

Every night I see I’m not on my own
I’d be dead if not for my Father
With each fight, each night, I’ve grown
I no longer wonder why I bother
At the end, I’ll approach my Father’s throne
And the Monster will be but a scoffer

Still the Monster haunts when the sun is gone
It’s as if I’m stuck in his box
And I can never move on
Because still the Monster mocks
Weak. I feel as weak as a fawn
Yet somehow as strong as an ox

It’s a strange feeling
Being torn between pain and relief
Yet both are healing
It’s hard to hold to belief
When everything is reeling
When it’s always about a new leaf

Still I feel the pain from the hunt
The Monster always drawing blood
He’s always just steps behind, though I’m in front
I tread through deep mud
Only for him to catch me with his heavy brunt
Now I’m caught in this painful flood

Constantly I cry for my Father to save me
For someone to take me from my misery
But what I wanted was not what He gave me
A man came and was my victory
For my evil, He forgave me
And why He did is a mystery

He defeated the Monster on my part
He took on my pain and we limped down the path
He felt the pain I held in my heart
He experienced my pain from the Monster’s wrath
He had been with me from the start
Always interceding on my behalf

He acted as my brother
He defeated my tormentor
He cared for me like my mother
He dwelled in the pain left by my torturer
He was sent by my Father

I don't care much in knowing how this monster was born, I have detailed case files on its existence and I know its patterns very well. I just want information on how it can be found and killed.

To **** any normal monster, all you must do is set it on fire, stab it with a stake, and shoot it with a silver bullet. However, it is nearly impossible to **** a true monster. They are much too practiced with their lifelong art of darkness - its mechanization through deception. Naturally living in shadowy places, they have strategies that work intrinsically against your police background. This monster you speak of – it will drag you from crime scene to crime scene, blood splatter to blood splatter, hoping you turn towards the light of the wrong evidence. Too many days, months, years have passed, it will know the planned escape route perfectly. Every true monster's greatest enemy is the light, however, its very survival depends on the shadow the light creates. You could shine your brightest and try to catch it in the act, but those walls will be marked by your monster, already running in the graffiti of a victim's blood. You might even catch a couple look-a-likes, the ones that are too young to know of your patrol patterns, too naive of their rights not to break under your torturous questioning, giving you useless answers. But that one twisted, maniacal ******* you're wanting, Detective? You'll have to find it while it's resting.

So if I cannot **** it in action and must find the monster while it rests, then it must have a home. What distant cabin of the marsh will it dwell in when I am there to capture it, to take it in chained for execution, to become this town's most needed hero?

For a monster to be born-

I told you, I do not much care in knowing how this monster-

But you see, the cabin of its resting place is the very cabin of its birth. If you wish to capture this true monster, the one that has lead to your own path as this department's chief detective, then you must trust me. You must listen, for your monster's cabin is owned by another.

Go on, then.

A monster cannot be physically born, it is merely a by product of the dark parasite found in a shadow. Anything that shines light has a shadow. One can never fall into their own, thus you must be forced into a different shadow for the darkness to find a carrier. Once inside, the parasite will aim to become its master's keeper. It will dig in search for the creature's light source, causing excruciating pain until it kills the host or disconnects the light. Once it takes over, the monster is born, taking it back to thrive in the very shadow it fell into. The cabin you seek is the exit from the shadow of another.

So to destroy this monster I seek, I must find who's shadow it once fell into? I must find the child this monster once was and pull him through the exit when he's resting. But where will I know to start?*

Continue painting. The sun is almost up.

Can you see the monster in the trees?
Hush for a moment, start to believe.

The monster with fingers made up of sticks
Taps on the bark, Click, Click, Click!!

The monster with eyes of glowing red
Stares at your soul, feelings of dread

Can you see the monster in the trees?
Hush for a moment, start to believe

The monster that growls a deafening moan
It sinks inside you, small or bit grown

The monster that walks and stalks its prey
Sounds of it's footsteps, come closer it stays

Can you see the monster in the trees?
Hush for a moment, start to believe

The monster with shadows as big as a house
Darkness surrounds, chasing the mouse

The monster with teeth as sharp as a knife
Cuts through the flesh, a moment in strife

Can you see the monster in the trees?
Hush for a moment, start to believe

The monster it whispers "Don't be afraid"
All in my head, things that I made

The monster it sits alone in the end
Lonely and sad and tears never mend

Can you see the monster in the trees?
Hush for a moment, start to believe

Her hands always quick to throw.
Spit the first words.
Throw the first punch.

Relationships aren't perfect.
Mine was far from.
Words biting deep into my soul.
Tearing me apart bit by bit.

I was a doll in her games.
Her hands constantly put up one me.
Non consensual things.
Yes **** still applies in relationships.

All the people would come to her house.
Watch the door while we roll this.
Watch the door while we crush these.
I was nothing but a pawn in her games.

Sneaking ***** into my drinks.
Calling me nothing at nights when I couldn't sleep.
Holding me close only to destroy me later.

A.C. Long gone.
Down a road very bad.
A road of **** and ******.
Going to collage to be a psychologist until she fell into the arms of the monster.

The monster she hold so dear.
The monster who changed her.
The monster clenching her soul.

This monster can be injected,
This monster can be smoked...
this monster is impossible once it gets a hold.

She became the monster.
The one I was afraid of.
Started off small then bigger.

Drugs won't affect you unless you do them,
A common mistake people say.

No, never once did they affect me.
Or at least I can say.
But that was a lie.
Depression, eating disorders, self harm, emotional abuse, physical abuse, trauma, hallusionations, trust issues, fear.
All lay deep within the hands of the monster.

The monster chokes the good memory out of me.
The monster put me on a leash.
Home by midnight.
Locations on my phone.
Who is he.
Why are you not home?

A controlling girlfriend.
Talk to no one.
Only her.
Her whom was held dear by the monster.

The monster took the form of a black blur.
The one that sneaks up when you least expect it.
Yet she was excellent at hiding it.

I'm fine.
Nothing is wrong.
What's wrong with you.
Why do you question me.
Keep your mouth shut or things will get bad.

Tape over my mouth because god you don't want to see her mad.
Clothing may have hid my bruises.
The emotional pain still apparent.

All because my girlfriend held a contract with the monster.
The monster held her at night.
And that is what the hands do.

we are often taught, to be careful of the monsters.
From a very young age, they were what we hid from, under our duvets.
but who was to know, all those years ago, that we are the monsters, and the monsters are us.
He is the monster, that only wants you for ***;
She is the monster that doesn't see your worth;
They are the monsters that make you feel life is not worth living;
And we are the monsters, that corrupt society.
Although these monsters may make us feel worthless, we must not forget the worst monster of them all.
You are the monster.
You are the monster that doubts your dreams;
You are the monster that allows failure to succeed;
You are the monster who thinks you are worth nothing;
You are the monster, to make him use you;
You are the monster, who burnt your own worth;
You are the monster, that wants to commit your own ******;
You are the monster, that corrupts society.

But why? whoever said monsters can't be good?
You can also be the monster who is kind;
You can be the one who knows their worth;
You can be the one who reaches their dreams;
You can be the monster, who continues, despite the failures;
You are amazing.

Be the good monster.

Monsters


As I sit here and watch the rain drop from my window pane
I’m listening to the voices in my head
Look and thinking about all this depression and anxiety
U know when they say u a teen u go through these little phases

But what I’m feeling and going through is not phases
I tried drugs to numb the pain I tried cutting myself to escape
Even tried killing my self to escape theses voices in my head and the monster who keeps comin for me

Nothing worked I even tried talkin bout it I sent signs too ppl that I was goin thru hell
And that the monster was coming to get me
I don’t know what else too do maybe everyone is blindfolded frm this beast

Or maybe they just don’t care about my wellbeing
Which ever the wind blows
Listening to Xxxtentacion and how everybody loved him
But no one look at the signs he was giving out
They only saw music that they can listen to not the pain he was going thru

Maybe that’s wat I’m doing with these poems I’m writing but no one sees the pain and the message
Only see the poetry maybe that’s wat they want to see
Who knows

As I sit here and think about life all I see is a big blurry picture
Only thing is clear is the monster who’s been waiting on me
The monster no one can see only I
The monster who’s taking over my life
And making it it’s own
The monster who pushed ppl way thinking they life everybody else
The monster who controls everything
The monster who talks too me
The monster who take theses thoughts and lock them in my head
The monster no one sees but me

The monster is u
Your the monster
Your the monster because u act like u don’t see me
You act like u can’t hear me
But u hear every word and thought that goes thru my head
Your the reason I’m like this
Your the reason I feel like this
Or is it the other monster
No
No
No
No
No
Get out my head
Both of y’all the reason
Y’all the reason for all of this
Y’all the reason for everything
Y’all the reason I act like this
Y’all the reason I do this
Y’all the reason I’m like this
Y’all the reason can’t sleep only can think bout death
Y’all the reason in every nightmare I die
Because that’s wat y’all want
But once I’m gone ain’t no comin bck
Never
Thanks to the monsters
Who been controlling me
Forever

You’re awake,
But trapped in your mind
I was there,
When you left us all, behind
You can’t escape this verdict, no chance,
Everyone knows what you’ve done-
You’re a monster,
But an angel to just some
You’re a monster,
You can’t escape
Just try to run,
Monster,   Monster,   Angel,   Monster,   Monster

In a labyrinth of lies,
Beasts track you in a web of spiders
And the raven flies,
A sign that you’ve arrived

You can hide it from yourself, soldier
But heaven knows your sins
You’re a monster, yes you’ve tried to win-
Monster, try to live within that skin

Monster, Monster, Monster, Monster, Monster

There was no one at the funeral
No one there to say goodbye
It took them two whole weeks to find him
No one knew that he had died

Set out in the countryside
A farm with lots of land
He died there in his easy chair
It was just, but not as planned

We grew up there with no neighbors
Just a dad and his three girls
No one heard our screaming
In our pinies and our curls

THE MONSTER ISN'T IN THE ROOM
NOT IN THE CLOSET, NOR 'NEATH THE BED
HE'S IN THE BEDROOM DOWN THE HALL
DAD'S THE MONSTER IN HIS STEAD
HE COMES TO MY ROOM IN THE NIGHT
AND DOES THINGS THAT DAD'S DON'T DO
HE TOUCHES ME WHERE HE SHOULD NOT
DID HE TOUCH THE OTHERS TOO?

It's my task to clean out the house
To get rid of all that's here
There's memories in every room
And nightmares too, I fear

The scent of Borkhum Riff
Still hangs lightly in the air
I remember it as he lay down
It was in his clothes and hair

I can smell his after shave cologne
In the living room, it lingers
I remember lying silent
As he probed me with his fingers

THE MONSTER ISN'T IN THE ROOM
NOT IN THE CLOSET, NOR 'NEATH THE BED
HE'S IN THE BEDROOM DOWN THE HALL
DAD'S THE MONSTER IN HIS STEAD
HE COMES TO MY ROOM IN THE NIGHT
AND DOES THINGS THAT DAD'S DON'T DO
HE TOUCHES ME WHERE HE SHOULD NOT
DID HE TOUCH THE OTHERS TOO?

Boxes of old memories
To discard of and move out
I don't want to take them with me
Not with the memories about

My bedroom, like the others
Sits unchanged through out the years
There isn't many smiles there
Just dirt amongst the tears

I wonder as I go outside
To get a break from all the smells
I know he's not in heaven
My daddy's down in hell

THE MONSTER ISN'T IN THE ROOM
NOT IN THE CLOSET, NOR 'NEATH THE BED
HE'S IN THE BEDROOM DOWN THE HALL
DAD'S THE MONSTER IN HIS STEAD
HE COMES TO MY ROOM IN THE NIGHT
AND DOES THINGS THAT DAD'S DON'T DO
HE TOUCHES ME WHERE HE SHOULD NOT
DID HE TOUCH THE OTHERS TOO?

As time goes by know what I
Must do with this old place
I must obliterate it from my mind
And build a new house in it's place

Five miles from the closest farm
All alone with none around
I can free myself form the nightmare
If I burn it to the ground

I call up both my sisters
Knowing what he did to me
He wouldn't be selective
He did it to all three

THE MONSTER ISN'T IN THE ROOM
NOT IN THE CLOSET, NOR 'NEATH THE BED
HE'S IN THE BEDROOM DOWN THE HALL
DAD'S THE MONSTER IN HIS STEAD
HE COMES TO MY ROOM IN THE NIGHT
AND DOES THINGS THAT DAD'S DON'T DO
HE TOUCHES ME WHERE HE SHOULD NOT
DID HE TOUCH THE OTHERS TOO?

Through arguments and logic
I lay out to them my plan
They tell me they will come home
They'll be there when they can

The day arrives as do the girls
We start the plan out in the patch
We've each one can of gasoline
And we each have just one match

The house burns rather quickly
Oily smoke it fills the air
The only thing that's missing
Is that the monster isn't there.

A monster appears
like one from your childhood
An inner battle commences
Between the bad and the good

At first, you'd find them in movies
or under the bed
Now as you grow, you fear
The monsters live in your head

Disguised as shadows in night,
New monsters now appear
These monsters are sneakier,
They know what you fear

Struggling to breathe,
your eyes filled with fear
Trapped, alone, no where to hide
Can't escape, it's far and it's near

This monster is tricky,
It plays tricks on your mind,
You plead for it to stop,
But there's no where to hide

This monster knows you
It makes you question your past
With a bleak outlook,
You wonder how long this might last

The one place you felt safe
Before this monster invaded
Now your mind is no solace
Every good memory faded

How do you run from something
That plays tricks on your mind?
How do you know who you are
When it's yourself you can't find?

How do you feel joy from
things that now trigger pain?
How do you move forward with life
when only fear remains?

We all grow up
It's a natural part of life
No one ever warns us though
That life comes with great strife

No one ever tells us
To be afraid of our thoughts
Feeling lost and alone
With many battles still to be fought

Once this monster invades,
It's hard to get back
To a life once lived,
Before this monster attacked

Our parents warned us of
the bad guys outside
They never told us
of the ones in our minds

And now this monster has control
You no longer recognize the mirror
You pray for this to end,
For prayers fall upon deaf ears

You question your sanity,
You question your morals
This monster knows how to torture
To envelop you in its toil

You know you have a battle ahead
This monster can't defeat
Crippled by the past
You must overcome and beat

This is an illness
This is internal torture
But you mustn't forget
You've got a bright future

You must fight on,
Between this inner war
Good versus evil,
What do you fight for?

Fight for love,
Fight to win back your mind
Fight for family and joy
Fight for what you still must find

Monsters can attack
Anyone, anytime
Lest not judge
For you never know when a monster might prey upon YOUR mind





Author note: end the stigma of mental illness. Talk about it.

I'm becoming a monster
I'm becoming a monster!

Clawed my way out the gutter
My rage is what allows me to conquer!

I'm becoming a monster.

I'm becoming a tyrant
RUN, RUN, RUN

old feelings and brains that are mindless
Love that grew old and moments that were timeless

I'M A MONSTER!

scripted in my own story to **** and defeat
destroy and watch the innocent decease.

I'm...I'm not a monster.

I am a victim

a victim to what every woman I have ever been with...
now perceives me as.

every friend that's ever judge me

every family member that's looked at me strange

deranged... yet, I was just misunderstood

or... am I a monster? I think not

(I transform)

Yet, the blood rushes through my veins
as I think of you in pain...
It's like a sudden high for me
to see your heart gasping for air and your mind trapped in chains
You're so vain. You're so weak!
my lips tingle and hands cringe when you speak.
You were an angel to me 8 months a go...now you're a demon who like the devil, reaps...what is it you seek?
INNOCENTS!
what is it you say... FINISH HIM.
Now you're scared...and you should be...

The tables have turned
I'm the monster now.
I will expose you!
it's your demising moment...I seek.

(transforms back)

I lost it...Control...Hope...Sanity...

Myself and now...

You.

but you were already lost

You were already gone.
My transformation was caused by you.

I'm not a monster...I'm a creation of your twisted dark fantasy,
of your poison.

**Because really...
             The monster...
                                  Is you.

In the grips of the monster again.
He lurks inside the darkness within.
Sometimes he’s dormant, sleeping so sound.
Then he rears his head and drags me right down.
It feels like I’m drowning and cannot breathe,
And I’m fighting for something, a little reprieve,
But the monster he holds me within his clutch.
I try to break free, but stay locked in his touch.

When I’m his slave, nothing can be done,
To shed light on my world, not even the sun.
Engulfed in the darkness, consumed by the night.
It feels no one can save me from this dreary plight,
So I shut the world out and shut myself in,
For the monster’s dwelling inside my skin,
And he holds he down and drains me of tears,
While feeding my insecurities and fears.

He comes out of hiding and decides to play.
These are the scariest of all of my days.
He makes it impossible for me to live life,
And fills my soul with indescribable strife.
I can’t face the day and can’t face myself.
Yes, the monster gets pleasure out of this hell,
And try as I might I cannot escape,
For this is my life and this is my fate.

How can you run from what hides inside?
You can’t so instead I just choose to hide.
Hide from the world since I can’t hide from me,
And I never can tell where the monster will be.
In my heart or my brain or maybe my soul,
Or maybe he’ll take over me as a whole.
That’s what I fear most for that can’t be escaped.
The monster will destroy all in its wake.

So I fight to control the monster within.
Sometimes I lose and sometimes I win,
But the war’s never over for the monster inside,
And it will not be over until the day that I die.
I will fight and I’ll struggle and I’ll own this war,
And in the end I’ll know what it’s all for,
But one thing’s for sure this monster’s my own.
He is my enemy and I am his home.

By:D.E.T

Goin' back from memory
I remember that I started to feel empty
When I saw a poster
Post D.E.T is a monster
All I did was blurt
A laugh although it hurt
Me, people tellin' me I'm a disaster
All I did was smile

Although that wasn't my style
But yeah, I smile

When everyone was gone
I sob the tears that I was holdin' on
From that day I knew that everyday
I had to pretend that I was okay
Even if it meant feelin' lonely deep inside
So, no one can see the pain
That I hide
Inside

Had to go through this everyday
But as I grew up I knew that was goin' to be the way
Cuz I'm used to being called a monster

Now that times passed by
My emotions are dry
So, go on call me a monster
Cuz I'm stronger
Tougher
Although they made me suffer

Come on put me on a cage
Where I find myself on the stage
Where I get call a monster
Now so, monster I have become
Onstage but I'mma gonna uncage
Myself
Put me on the cage
Write me a page
Tell the page that I am a monster

Now that time has fly by
Y'all stand aside
But y'all collide
Cuz I know karma
Is gonna come back and make pay for the drama
That caused people call me a monster

Yeah, moster I am my heart
Is now dark
Monster I am cuz y'all ******
My soul
Cuz y'all just wanted to ruin
My soul
But that only made you look cruel
Cuz y'all were nothing but

Don't need you to understand
So, you can stand
Where I land
Cuz I'm a monster like you said

there is a little monster that is with me everyday.
the monster made me feel sad and hurt.
the little monster didnt like me much.
i spent so much time with it it became a part of me.

the little monster made me feel aufull but i kept him.
i kept him close to my heart.
the little monster was a part of me after all.
i would be nothing without it.

the little monster was nibbling away at my soul.
someone asked me if i was fine.
i didnt feel fine but, i knew i would be.
i told them i was alright because i was.

the little monster almost desroyed me completly
but then i reilized that the little monster was not a part of me
but it had already dug into me deep enough
i couldn't get it out by myself.

so i asked for help.
it was so so so very hard.
i went to them and i told them i wasnt alright.
stumbling through my words as the little monster tried to cut my tounge.

but i did it.
they got me someone to help me reach down
and pull out that monster inside of me.
finaly after being locked up, i was free.

i could come back someday.
but not today.
today i am happy.
today i am free.

There's a storm raging
Inside of my stomach
The weight in my mind
Is getting too heavy to hold
I can't seem to focus enough
There are voices in my head
Scheming, Planning where this should end
The life I live has turned upside down
And nobody's around to pull me out
Nobody's around to save me from myself
Oh dear god I don't want your help

In your eyes
I can see how much you couldn't careless
In your eyes
Your Independence shines again
Tell me what do you see in mine?
Can you see all the tears I've cried?
Tell me what do you see in my eyes
Can you see the pain that burns deep inside
In your eyes
I can see the water washing away your soul
Tell me what do you see in mine?

How's it make you feel?
To know your the one
Who brought out the monster in me
What's your explanation?
For bringing forward all these demons
How's it make you feel
To know your the one
Who has brought me to this
Oh, baby, I'm a monster
Lurking in the darkness of the night
Oh, baby, I'm a monster
Watch your step before my teeth sink in
You are the one who conjured all of it.

Can you feel the hurt
Taking control of your body
When you know you lose
The one who means the most to you
And somethings missing
In the darkness of the night
Oh dear lord where is my light
Something doesn't feel right
Something in your stomach turns
The memories you left yearn
And you thought you could learn
From all the mistakes you made
But it was worth every risk you'd take
Because it was her who made you smile
It was her who made you laugh
She was the one who saw you cry
And I wasn't man enough to admit you were right
I wasn't man enough to see that you saw inside of me
Why'd we go and say goodbye
Why'd we go and burn the photographs
Now my mind knows things won't go back to the way they were
But there was nobody else I loved more than her

In your eyes
I can see how much you couldn't careless
In your eyes
Your Independence shines again
Tell me what do you see in mine?
Can you see all the tears I've cried?
Tell me what do you see in my eyes
Can you see the pain that burns deep inside
In your eyes
I can see the water washing away your soul
Tell me what do you see in mine?

How's it make you feel?
To know your the one
Who brought out the monster in me
What's your explanation?
For bringing forward all these demons
How's it make you feel
To know your the one
Who has brought me to this
Oh, baby, I'm a monster
Lurking in the darkness of the night
Oh, baby, I'm a monster
Watch your step before my teeth sink in
You are the one who conjured all of it.

I'm the creation of your own making
What goes wrong falls onto you shoulders
But it's not just you who's to blame
I'm the stupid one for falling for your game
And if you thought this was ugly
You haven't experienced the worst
It's coming swiftly and quick
There's nothing stopping this
Like a wave crashing upon the beach
There is no stopping this
He's gonna lose himself in the darkness of the night
There are no stars lighting up his skies
Just a sensation of revenge burning inside
There's no soul left to save
But I can see into your eyes
What do you see in mine?

In your eyes
I can see how much you couldn't careless
In your eyes
Your Independence shines again
Tell me what do you see in mine?
Can you see all the tears I've cried?
Tell me what do you see in my eyes
Can you see the pain that burns deep inside
In your eyes
I can see the water washing away your soul
Tell me what do you see in mine?

How's it make you feel?
To know your the one
Who brought out the monster in me
What's your explanation?
For bringing forward all these demons
Hows it make you feel
To know your the one
Who has brought me to this
Oh, baby, I'm a monster
Lurking in the darkness of the night
Oh, baby, I'm a monster
Watch your step before my teeth sink in
You are the one who conjured all of it.

©2017 Written By Benji James

The monster takes me under,
once again.
He tears away at my logic,
turning me an awful shade of green.
The monster takes me under,
to play with all my thoughts.
Injecting me with poison,
to make me lose control.
The monster takes me under,
makes me see things that aren't there.
The monster takes me under,
into a state of udder despair.
The monster knows how to control me,
to make me his lovely puppet.
He knows what makes me happy,
He knows what makes me sad.
But most of all the Monster knows,
What makes me jealous and oh so mad.
The monster has the power,
to turn me against my friends.
The monster knows what he wants,
and won't stop until the end.
The monster knows my pains,
and how I will react.
The monster also knows,
just when he should attack.
The monster takes me under,
he makes me turn away
from all the love I'll leave behind,
When I really want to stay.

Say hello to the monsters.
The ones that bed in you,
The ones that reveal themselves
The ones that turn into one
And the ones that find you.

Monster n°1 / The Fake One
This monster would want to prove itself and will use you because it can't depend on itself due to its insecurities. It's easily detectable.
This one is the least harmless.
All you have to do is simply lose contact - it won't need you twice.

Monster n°2 / The Backstabber
The one that crawls behind your back and leaves prints with every step it takes.
This one is the most vulnerable.
All you have to do is turn around, catch it and watch it tremor in-between your fingers.

Monster n°3 / The One That Dances With Your Demons
This monster dancer would do anything to get under your skin and show you what you'd wish to see.
This one is the most naive.
All you have to do is notice how it agrees with you on everything that comforts you instead of everything that makes you step forward.

Monster n°4 / The Puller
This one acknowledges itself as a monster and would show you, with all its ways, a road that meets your eye, but effectively, this road would eventually lead them to their goals.
This one is physically the strongest.
All you have to do is be mentally stronger and K.O. it.

Monster n°5 / The Choker
This one is an alpha monster. Its aim is to destroy you. It knows your power well and would do anything to stop you. It will make you love it as it poisons you. It would wrap itself around your neck and you wouldn't even notice.
This one is the most dangerous.
You can do nothing about it but seek help from people that can save you from all of what that monster has drained you from.

Say hello again to these monsters.
Now that you know them, don't become one and don't let them in.



- LynnAA

I have created a monster.



A monster of defeat.



One that tends to think.



But never speak.







I have created a monster.



A monster of emotion.



One that loves always.



And shows all her devotion.







I have created a monster.



A monster of spite.



One who does wrong.



But always thought right.







I have created a monster.



A monster of itself.



One who knows everyone.



But my own self.

I have created a monster.



A monster of defeat.



One that tends to think.



But never speak.







I have created a monster.



A monster of emotion.



One that loves always.



And shows all her devotion.







I have created a monster.



A monster of spite.



One who does wrong.



But always thought right.







I have created a monster.



A monster of itself.



One who knows everyone.



But my own self.