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Raven Feb 2022
"Hello" I say to you
(Hello) You reply

"How are you?"

"What are you doing?"
(Fading away)

(Hello) You say
"Hello" I reply

(How are you?)
"I'm fine"

(What are you doing)
"Listening to music"

"Hello" I say to you
(Hello) You reply

"What makes you want to die?"
(The constant people who use me)

"What makes you want to live?"
(John and his love)

(Hello) You say
"Hello" I reply

(What make you want to die?)
"Lots I guess"

(What makes you want to live?)
"My stuffies"

"Hello" I say to you
(Hello) You reply

"How do you feel right now"
(I want to go away. Forever)

"What do you want?"
(Actual consistent love)

(Hello) You say
"Hello" I reply

(How do you feel right now?)
"I'm okay. Listening to music"

(What do you want?)

(Don't lie to me)
"I'm not"

(What do you want?)


"I want to be free"

(I want to die please)
"I want to die please"

As you may see
They are both me
But the difference is
One is who you see
Raven Feb 2022
I smile the most
When I want to

I laugh the most
When I want to

I sit here
And I act playful
As we text

But deep down inside
My heart
And my hope
Have failed
And I lay here
Stuck in my head
Unable to leave this bed

I miss having more people
To hold me close
And cuddle
For now everyone
Makes it ******

I miss holding hands
With people
And going on adventures
But now everyone
Assumes that means
I want them

I do want love
And I do want someone to hold
But just because I cuddled you
Or held your hand
Or was goofy with you
It doesn't mean
You're the one I choose

A cuddle
Shouldn't turn
Into a ****

Holding a hand
Shouldn't turn
Into love

So why is that
What I always
Run into?
Raven Feb 2022
I reach up
Up above my head
Further than I could get
My whole body to go

I feel nothing
For there is nothing there

I'm surrounded by darkness
By cold
And by silence
Like drowning
In an ocean wave

I can breath
But when there is nothing
To breath for
Why would I want
To breath at all?

I can move
And stumble around
But I make no progress
And go nowhere
For every step
Just leaves more darkness behind
And even more infront
So why move at all?

So I may aswel sit
And think away
The never ending time
That has no light
To guide me through
To tell me how long I've been
Lost in this darkness

I cannot escape
And I cannot die
For when there's nothing around
You cannot do anything
But lay on the ground

But I begin to ponder
And I begin to wonder
Is there even a ground
Beneath my feet at all?

For all I know there isnt
For all I know I'm just falling
But when there's nothing around
And no light to be found
You begin to assume
That you just float

So until I find a light
To guide me through
The never ending nothing

I shall just float
I shall just think
I shall just lay down
And give in
To nothing
Raven Feb 2022
His hand on my leg
On the back of my thigh
As I lay on my side

Please go
Bury the memory
Alongside all the others

He comes in my room
A place he shouldn't be
While I'm peacefully asleep

Please don't
But I've already forgotton
Because I didn't even know

He sneaks into the house
When he should be home at his own
Uninvited but unafraid

Please leave
Wake her up so she notices you
And makes you leave once more

But thing's don't happen the way I wish
So instead I'm here
In bed
Trying to sleep for a little
When I no longer can

So I wake up and remember
Just a little snippet
Of that night
And I know once I remember more
I'll lay on the floor as I whisper

Raven Feb 2022
I wanna hurt myself
Worse then ever before
I wanna do it until
All I can see from my legs
Is the blood all over the floor

I wanna hurt myself
Worse then ever before
So that I can see the blood
That makes me feel calmer
Than anything more

Its pretty
And so easy to focus on

When the rest of the world feels
And so hard to cope with

The way it feels is so nice
The way it flows is so soothing
The way it warms me up is so calming

Its warm and cozy
And makes me feel
Less lonely
And empty

No one understands it fully
Other than me
For I've never met another person
Who cuts for the purpose
Of seeing themselves bleed

Its concerning and dangerous
I know this
But its soothing
And freeing
So how bad can it be

Unfortunately I fear
That one day
No amount of blood
Will be enough

And on that day
I'll end up
With none
Left to bleed
Raven Feb 2022
I watch it flow
Off of my arm
Onto the floor
Or onto me

I watch it flow
As it mesmorizes me
And drowns out
The memories

Its beautifully red
Sweetly warm
And bitterly tasting

It soothes me deep within
Like no other person or thing
Could possibly match

It may be bad for me physically
But mentally its soothing

It calms me
Soothes my mind
And soothes my soul


I want to drown in it

I want to make sure there's enough
To make a pool
A puddle
Or to drain me
From within

I wanna be stained crimson
As I fade away
From this house
Where safety
Never existed
Raven Feb 2022
I lay in bed
And I fade away
Into thoughts
And memories

I lay in bed
As I drown
From within
Hoping that maybe I'll be pulled back
And be free from this reality


I float on the maybes
Hoping they become solid

Floating makes me tired
I just want to lay down
On the ground
And rest

I drown in all the things
That fall through
And are no longer true

I drown in all the things
That you did
And that I did to you

I'm falling away
From reality
But I'm not even sure
If I even want to stay

I'm full now
Full of broken promises
And the lies people tell
Too full to take another bite

I'm wishing to be gone
To float away
Up into space
Where I can just be
In peace
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