Today my son told me he wanted to be like me when he grows up
so i slapped him across the face,
I told him you better get your **** straight son,
you try to be like me you're gon' end up a ***.
No one could be like me not even you,
I told the same thing to your ***** *** brother,
and as for your mother she be askin' me for money all the time,
i know im a rich *** guy but that don't mean i'd waste a dime for her,
Your uncle lied about the way she died i ****** stuffed her ***** *** in the
trunk of the mercedes and left her there for 10 days,
it was only supposed to be a week but then the next three  i thought
she could ressurect just like Jesus did,
Turned out she didn't cause i didn't hear no banging but than again i never checked,
Don't be a wreck like your ******' uncle Johnny who tried defending her and
they both ended up in a train on their way to San Francisco,
That's right why you think no ******' cops came you see what im saying,
i'm teaching you how to be tough and rough like your dad,
Don't be a little sissie like your little brother Stan who joined the ****
just so he would be a part of something,
Let me tell you something bout' your grandpa Ronnie he's always grumpy for nothing.
If you look at my eyes im a ****** son,
I think it's fun to wrap chains around people's necks and tie em' to the back
of the car,
i know sometimes i take it too far but that man at the gasoline station
thought he could take me down and make me look like a clown,
the sound of that just makes my nerves tingle and not a single person
has ever had the ***** to tell me some stupid **** like that,
so grabbed him like rat and hit his legs with the bat till' they break,
you need to know both our life's are at steak every turn we take,
There's no hesitating and don't you ever run away,
always pay attention to the people who got something to say,
I tell people that I missed you that day,
when you were gon' i couldn't say goodbye,
But thats what happens when Daddy's ****** working all the time,
All i could do is just sigh and know this is the end of the line,
I'm looking at you now but i can't see your face,
I guess it's pretty hard you'd have to have x-ray vision to see under a grave,
I shave now because i remember how you never liked how my beared looked on me,
Just thinking bout' your death makes me wanna scream,
and now i see myself in this ******' hospital now knowing why im here
or what i ever did wrong,
I'm writing you this song to tell you,
Never be like me cause sadly your daddy is never doing the right thing,
But take care say hi to god for me i hope this letter can get to heaven
so you can see it.
Be happy with your whole family up there cause their dead too with you,
i didn't want you to get lonely.
Now you feel at home and i'm just sitting here all alone.

Gently scraping the adhering paper from the firm plastic, colorful cube
That beared a delicate weight in my soft, precarious pink hands,
I grasped the sticker and pressed it on my protuberant little veins--
“Innocence!” Clarence cried my misleading appellation,
“Are you cheating? You’re taking off the stickers, mindlessly relocating them
To unravel (or reassemble, rather) the poor little tormented Rubik’s.”
*“Nay, you fool. I’m just rearranging them so that no one can solve the puzzle.
I’m a sadist, not a fraud.”

Do you remember that night out by my car.
Daddys Caddy,
bright in the moonlight.
A home for our words, carefully choosen,
sometimes not.
A mutual ground.
A safehaven for thoughts too bold for sunlight.
The darkness helped us, I think.
Protected us from seeing too much,
when too much was being said.
Maybe I was a little drunk.
Thats all it took, some liquid courage,
for you to know that I was sorry.
You touched me then.
Not a "I just want to *******" touch.
You felt me, deep inside.
You knew the claws of a beast were tearing me down.
Not one that could be tamed,
and could only be suppressed for so long.
He was there and you saw him,
clear in my eyes.
Usually gaurded, fighting him back.
But there he was,
pompous as any.
Jabbing me in the ribs,
"I told you I would get out"
There he was teeth beared and all,
ready to rip me down
right in front of you.
Right in front of my Daddys Caddy.
Claws, teeth and lies.

She hardly was an early riser.
Life at home for her was hell.
Violent voices
and mean threats.
She wrote this on a sunny start of the week, monday.
The sun seemed to have been greatly amused at her wrinkled face.
Recently, she discovered she would release a ****
whenever anxiety or nervousness hit her like a dart.

Her daily life began by 4:30am.
There she was in comfort on her irregular bed,
till a sharp light hit her face
and a thunderous voice boomed her ear drums,
His foot steps made so much sound than his voice.
It was her father.
It wasnt his voice that struck her,
or was it the sight of a whip that he wielded so callously.
It was the angry look he always beared on his face.
It was almost as if he was angry with God for waking him up everyday.
Mixed feelings of fright and fuzziness gripped her
she hastily greeted
He didnt respond.
Her sister stood behind her bed
whimpering in fear.
Only then did she discover who the whip was meant to trash at that moment.

The night before
was a nightmare she have seen before.
Her ingredients failed her,  
her attention
and her organization
towards the food preparation.
Her Mom hated excuses
Her Dad hated losses and bad soups.
Her promises flew away
Phone accessories became her get-away.
It wasnt the intensity of the funny smell,
or the intense awareness of the pepper and salt,
but it was the searing look her mum had.
Her mom must have mentally shredded her like cabbage, she thought.
Her mom wondered why arguements stuck in her tongue like a tatoo.
Most times she resented her awkward behaviour,

She saw life has an eazy game.
She thought mistakes were a part of our imperfection as human beings and hence should be constantly made.
She didnt understand why God placed her in that family.
Her mom would constantly remind her of the future
She could hear her voice in her sleep
Her mom would speak with her eyes
when her anger has reached a certain height.

Hereditry
played a role
in her usual condescesion.

The environment
played a role
in her usual sadistic talk and thinking.

Yin and Yang,
Cold and Hot,
the order of seasons
Either you can change
or you can not.
Such is the nature of Monica.

I spent my time letting my hands die in the arms of my own body
I broke the chains of slavery yet broke myself in the process
I drank my spit with a dry swallow and discontent for what that meant
My legs tensed and I, like most of the time, felt disgust with myself
And though this was new and strange
I’d known it for some time now and it wasn’t getting easier
My eyes welled up but not enough to form a tear
At least not at this point
And my teeth grinding at the thought of what was happening to my body
But again I said this had happened all too often
And lastly I thought of my day
And the whirlwind I was in that brought me to my own demise
And I wondered why this has happened so often
And each time a bit worse than the last or at the very least a horrifying reality
My fingers felt different than my own and my depression from what they said
Would be to blame but I thought of this much differently
And not in the sense that i did not feel depressed
Just in the sense that the only thing I knew how to feel was death
Death of a self or a hand or even a time in place that I could not accept
I thought that everyday must be like this
And this is why I felt alone or rejected
At wits end or neglected
Why I felt like no one understood or like I was the only one standing in a room
And even with no words leaking from my mouth
My cintrivical force still beared witness to the pain that existed around me
And though my confusion consumed me
My eye began to shed a tear
And my left knee buckled up
And even though my right pointer finger was not to be found
And ultimately made my teeth grind again at the thought
I still was able to exist
Even in this poem
Even in this world
I was here
And the tear fell down my cheek
And thinking of you made it fall harder
The hardest thing I’ve ever experienced Was in the eyes of someone I’d described my pain to
And their go to was to make me feel it again or some part of it to an extent
Their first instinct was to let me relive it through them
As if the pain initially was not enough to comprehend
And that’s where I come to end
This poem or this explanation
That everyone has something to prove
And if it cannot be done through them
They will choose your pain as a way to regain theirselves in vein
And to say this is a joke
Well my only hope
Is that you are not another to
Let my heart be revoked
Of its own truth

I write this little narrative
and shall endevour to be brief,
for events that I unburden
may never gain of true belief.
I put to you dear reader
that tomorrow I shall die
for the events that so destroyed me
but with this wording I will try.

As a child I was so happy
and being of good disposition.
I had a fondness for all creatures,
so to care for was my mission.
With my pets as my companions
that such a pleasure is the truth.
I cared, fed and caressed them,
this was the model of my youth.

Into manhood I was pleasant.
A woman sent from God above.
Such a bride that shared my passion
of such animals I love.
Love flourished inside our home life
Our demeanour was one of that,
so we puchased gold fish and a rabbit,
a small monkey and black cat.

'Pluto' purred a lovely song,
readilly did steel my heart.
He was large, soft and so loving
and from my side was hard to part.
This large black cat worried my wife
as superstitions do so cast.
Though it slackened seriousness
as ancient ideals do not last.

Seven years we were intent
until my character did start to change.
Temperament was quick to follow,
my personality grew strange.
The demon drink was now a worry
when my wife would feel my knuckle.
For one moment I was raged
and the other I would chuckle.

One night upon my return
witha drunken mans' complexion.
Pluto wanting nothing from me
felt irate of rough connection.
Reluctantly he beared down his claw
as from my grasp he tried to fly
and as my blood did slowly trickle
I removed my knife and then his eye.

As the daylight light gave its shine
from the excesses of last eve's gin.
I from remorse supped in excess
Trying to drown this evil sin.
I was weak and so un-trying
lashing out at one and all.
No longer in control of
it seemed my destiny to fall.

Pluto recovered this ordeal,
though eye-less socket was my gift.
I could not be so surprised,
as on my approach he would fly swift.
No longer was he my ally.
No longer was he my friend.
No longer did I drink the *****
but this avoidance would soon end.

He still attended this abode
Wandering with one eyed navigation
Although I felt the pangs of grief
Grief soon changed to irritation.
One morning I did slip a noose
Around poor Pluto's scraggy throat
I hung him from a tree outside
drinking a bottle whilst I gloat.

Against the laws of God I ******
In satisfaction I do wallow
Excuse is this intrusive substance
My own forgiveness do I swallow.
Evil, horror and unkind
Depravity is what I think
These thoughts float freely around my mind
All conjured up from Demon drink.

That night such cruel deed had been done
for something happened so unfair.
As I awoke, my home in flames.
My wealth all gone I felt despair.
On visiting the smouldering ashes
that once I could call my address.
I found almost complete destruction
as i surveyed this total mess.

I came upon just one exception.
The wall where once had stood my bed
A crowd had gathered for some reason,
suprise to me it must be said.
Curiosity drew me closer
To see what they gazed at
and as if graven in bas relief
the figure of a gigantic cat.

Such accuracy it must be said
Stood proudly within the wreck
Above where my head used to rest
A rope about the creature's neck.
When I beheld this apparition,
for scarcely could I regard it less.
feeling terror to the extreme,
drew upon me such untold stress.

I came to think about that night
When fires rage was at its most
That someone must of free'd the feline
Cut it down from hanging post.
Perhaps then thrown through open window
With view to raising me from sleep
Compressed my **** fresh in new plaster
a burnt portrait for me to keep.

Such great impression on my mind.
Phantasms thought could not forget.
feeling such insincere remorse
I chose to search for similar pet.
Whilst I frequented vile haunts
with painstaking examination,
decided cat should be of similar look.
I did not want emancipation.

In a den of vile infamy
Half stupified I sat
When something claimed of my attention
In the form of a black cat.
Hazily I reeled in shock
Was this Pluto in my sight
Until after greater examining
I noticed a splodge of white.

I thought for just one moment
My mind was setting me a test
For Pluto was as black as soot
But this **** wore a white breast.
He came to me immediately
Upon me he did laize
I purchased him right there and then
I smothered him with love and praise.

My wife did so adore this cat.
But for myself after some time
Much love did turn again to loathing
and its presence cringed my spine.
The reason came the next day on
as Inhebriated I was no more
I saw that he had just one eye.
So shocked was I, I think I swore.

My wife was in a happy state
Thinking that my life had changed
Back to my old and wanted ways
Before my life became deranged.
The white mark upon the felines breast
over time appeared to define
Into a picture so distintive.
A Gallows was this eerie sign.

My sanity was in unsolid state
This creature soon to be bereft
Supporting a badge of owners crime
over its Agony and Death.
This brute of similar attribute
To he I had once destroyed,
tormented and most worried me.
My vengeance would not be denied.

My temperence was as a beast
With furious tempers flare
I almost abandoned all this strife
without so much as single care.
One day on household errand
on my brow this cat shone tax.
Whilst in the cellar with the *****
I tried to **** it with an axe.

Guarded by my faithfull wife,
I still remember what she said
Leave this poor dumb creature be.
I left the axe inside her head.
Such ****** was not deliberate
I could not resolve that this be real
but after contemplative time
I knew this crime I must conceal.

I pondered long what course to take
I could not move her by day or night,
must be accomplished down below
to keep this body far from sight.
Encasing her behind the wall
as monks once did in bygone age.
Surrounded now with morter and brick
it was the most solid of cage.

Before the last brick was replaced
I searched the house for Pluto's clone.
No sign was found of one eyed tom,
my persecutor had gone to roam.
I looked with pride at job well done.
Such rendering was no disgrace,
nothing toward had happened here
with everything nicely in its place.

I searched again to find the beast
he that to me did not impress.
Although I'd killed I slept so tranquil.
My mood did qualm and I felt fresh.
Second and third days came and went
But feline never made a show
He must of truly read my mind
Decided safer he should go.

The fourth day after assassination,
Police came around this place to delve.
After a most intense exploration,
suspiscion they decide to shelve.
In my triumph I did take on pride,
I pointed out this house so stout
and taking up my wooden cane
I gave the wall a hearty clout.

May the lord deliver me
from the fangs of acrid friend.
For squeeling came from beyond that wall
leaving my secret at an end.
In my haste to hide my sin,
I hid the corpse and cleared the room
It seems the brute had never gone
Instead it hid inside the tomb.

Here I stand in readiness
these gallows wanting company
and with this rope around my neck
it seems my wife I will soon see.
If only ego had refrained
and with that cane I'd caused no fuss,
perhaps they may never of heard
the reply from that old black ****

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I told her
As her knees trembled from the weight of the compliment I bestowed her
Often benevolent
Clearly Heavensent
If God truly has say in the matter
Awkwardly eloquent
She reflected pretentiousness
Yet never projected the latter
Her eyes luminescent
Her body quintessence
To a hedonist, a lover, or sculptor
She beared the essence of loathsome life lessons
So there lay apprehension
When I vowed to properly love her

Let me sing for his beloved
A vineyard on his hill
He dug and then He planted
He built and then He watched
The men in Judah judge him
For all of His sweet care
He finally saw His fruit bear

He is the vine
The great vine of His vineyard
The fruit of that hill
He is the vine
Already we are clean
With the words that He left us
Trust in him and we will drink of it
Partaking in the blood of Jesus Christ

Here's the end to His vineyard
Its hedge He has removed
Destroyed all of it shall be,
Its walls will be trampled
Then He will make it waste
All these thorns will grow up
And then the rains will not come

This vineyard that I sing of
Are His chosen people
And all this pleasant planting
No fruit has it beared
But my Jesus he is coming
To rule over the lands

Drowning in placid dreams
Stagnant and stale, though fleeting and frail
the prevailing conditions of my premonitions
Are harbored by betrayal
The sword unsheathed
Malice and pale
Stained somber silhouettes
unveiling what was to entail

This is my disposition
It rises like a sail
caressing the wind
I take a breath
Blowing away my travails

Righteous and cunning
Her wings were stunning
Fondling my imagination she seeped into my salvation
but hasty anticipation toppled the torrid sensation  
Awkward we lapsed
into hardened silence
Shedding passive violence

This is my disposition
The love we shared
beared burdens of despair
But we didn't care

Belligerent and blind
Your lips stumbled toward mine
Our tongues intertwined
Tearing stars out the sky
We stole the night
  
This is my disposition
The cold blue air exchanged
An ensemble of rusty winds
The abyss replacing our forgotten names

Has he not been beared
From seas to streams
Marked with cutlasses and ashes
Forced to swallow cowries
Why would he not wear down his face?

Has he not been living
On his choiceless delicacy
Concoction of gmelina roots
And garlic sap
Why then would he smile?

Why would he dance?
The voilent drummers in his skull
Were pounding thier drums
Like groups of carpenters
Driving pieces of nails
Into a hardwood

Has he not been marched
Round the village on pant
Bearing a *** stained with dry hen's blood
And rotten bones and stenching earth
Why would he not dash out his wealth
To seek a neater heath?

Monochromtic.
Those gleaming eyes.
Filled with dreams of the universe,of the unspoken world,
The golden smile you wear is a beauty which can't escape; the eyes of your admirers.


'You have valued me,reinforced in me your good virtues.
Loved me in good.
Cherised me in my bad.
Don't you get tired?

'Don't you feel like breaking this bond and running away?
The girl who has always beared me and will continue to do so till the world comes to an end,
'You'll be my bridesmaid'
Said she.
Those lovely words made my heart skip with joy.
Of chimes and beautiful music,
That beautiful day will come,of your marriage.

I have stood in a thousand formations
and beared witness to the greatest men
who've recieved the greatest honors

I have stood in few formations
where i have cried
tears for my fallen brothers

I have stood at attention
as the casket was loaded
and away they flew

I have flown the heroes
no longer here
and cried every minute

I have rendered a million salutes
but the ones i remember
are for the fallen

With flag draped casket
etched upon my memory
never to see another golden sunset

Lost but never forgotten
the heroes, my brothers, my comrades
for as i breathe you'll never be forgotten

Rest In Peace
Shadow Brethren
SSG Powell And Sgt Silk

May you sleep with angels
on the wings of doves
to the pearly gates at ST. Peters Steps

A year's worth of growing
again by her side
So much time to become knowing
how I handle, how I hide
This year I wrote a poem called "Plates,"
which subtly revealed our sorry fates

A year's worth of distance and trauma.
You are unaware that I have beared
though you bear it too
We began to constantly fight.
So I wrote a poem for you called "Blue"
and it was about that night.

A year's worth of time
to let your anger unwind
yet the finger remains pointed at me

You say it's not my fault
although it may be
But I was too young to discover
*How the loss of love for a daughter
is impossible to recover

First, there was infinity
Out of infinity came darkness and light
Which were divided into night and day
The light of day gave birth to the sea, the sky and the earth
The darkness of night gave birth to more

It began with doom
Which brought death
Caused by disease and old age
After living  life of suffering
Suffering from pain, mockeries and lies
Lies told by fakes who used illusion
Illusions to cause discord and fights
Fights that ended in war, ****** and ruin
From the ruins came misery
And from that misery came starvation
Which caused plundering and deceit
Deceit showed the way to defilement
The defilers began to harvest pride
The pride lashed out harsh criticisms
Those criticisms caused obsessions to destroy blemishes and defects
The path to doing so lead to lawlessness until all that was left was the choice to forget all that had happen or place the blame somewhere
It was inescapable  

Yet, all of that was only half of what spawned from infinity

The light of day beared the sky, sea and earth
Encompassing them was time and nature
Time held possibilities
Possibilities to create
To create life
Life full of love
Love full of live
And yes, each fate is the same
Death
The start, the length of each life and the eventual end
But each destiny differs
Nature
The ebbing and flowing of order
The force coming from infinity
Binding all living things
To heal and to bestow gifts
Gifts of guidance
Of peace and truth
Truths that speak of joy and undeniable beauty
Encouragement and relief

But what is it that separates the two?
Keeping this world in proper balance?
The answer is us.
Look within yourself and see the infinity you hold
Destroy it
Then create anew

She drapes the world with her lust
The smell of wine is very fine
She drinks with the men down in the riverside
She chants them dreams of filthy desires
The dreams of one night in paradise
One day a man with raven hair walked to this woman
This man caught her eye
She liked the way he grinned
They spent the night together
The man blinked his life decayed
But he did it for the lustful demon
She made it out her quest
She destroyed 2 girls hopes
And a woman's heart
The man remained with the woman several years
She beared  a child
A child who's veins ran black like his father
The demon now smiles in glee
Evil was a term not used to described her cold less face

I stood there frozen,
unable to move
breathe,
or blink

For a moment,
everything was gone
It was all lost
fallen and forgotten
in the in between
out in the great unknown

But air filled my lungs again
and with all my strength
I beared the wait of breathing
of life and death
and all that comes with it

I moved my feet, first
wiggled my toes around
just to make sure I still could

My feet danced in my shoes,
kept warm by my stockings
and I knew,
that your goodbye didn't **** me

*But it didn't make me stronger

There is always a tight feeling in my chest,

The moment we have to say good bye till we see each other again,

It hurts so much loving you and having to bear days/weeks without seeing you.

You have brought endless sunshine into my life and have colored it with your beautiful pallet of love.

You have shown me a depth of warmth and concern so genuine, so ethereal, that it can only come from you;

My angel;

My love;

My life;

My all.

I love you and I want to be with you every single day of my life.

One lifetime is too short; several lifetimes are too fast; forever seems not enough.

Being next to you I have found my heaven on earth.

I see the good seeds I have sowed in this life seem to have beared fruit through your eyes.

Your voice is like a beautiful symphony to my ears.

Through your being, my purpose on this earth is clear;

Enlightened.

I love you so much, Thirak.

ผมรักคุณมากกว่าอะไรทั้งหมด Nattida Liyeekay

i can still remember what your
distressed denim
jeans felt like
beneath my
beating pillow
fingers and how you swore
you saw the Moon
in my throat
you said you spoke to Him
when you kissed me deep
and He told you
that even a great white shark
has a great soft heart
and that even a lion
will bleed when it is met by
a twig
but not even the Moon will tell
you that when i felt your leg
and touched your mango
knee I fell in love with the
tree that beared your fruit
so sweet-nothing salamander
when i see your sweet-nothing
smile i will count sheep in your
teeth and pull the hairs
from your chinny-chin-chin
and i will huff and puff and
blow your ******* *******
house down
and i will plant a mango tree
in its place

Nobody's felt a heartache like mine
Tinged with bruises and dollar store wine
Tell me, who are you to stand judgement of me?
When I'm just trying to feel...
anything
Every single time I've felt a spark
I'm left with a wet match by myself in the dark
Could it be us, could it be you and I?
Or will I be left the highest of dry
I am the lovesick girl
No amount of rubies or diamonds or pearls
Can mend such an aching so deeply inside
To which no one can run and hide
You'll never know just how far I'd go
To make you the happiest you've ever known
And yet somehow it's just never enough
And yet somehow it's just never been this tough
And I'm begging you please
To show me some sensitivity
(Just one time before you leave)
I am a woman
And you are a man
They don't write instructions
There's no label on a can
Nothing tangible, nothing you can read
Its inside you and inside of me
So I'll keep on crying at night
And dreaming that someday I'll catch your eye
Until then you know where I am
An innocent one night stand
So there you go
I've beared every inch of my soul
Is it you'd just rather at this point be alone?
Just know you dont have to be
That I'll always be waiting
And I'll never ask you to change, meet requirements or rearrange
Because in order to set my heart aflame
You must stay the same the same the same

The sun beared down on us as if it were an eye of fate, noting our every move and gesture.
Leading us to inevibility, your hair was short that summer.
I kept reminding you to grow it because I told you it would look good.
Now I see that currently you have although I thought you never would.

I guess I'm just embarrassed that you gave me so much and I meant so little to you.
I guess I'm just ashamed that it took four days for you to break me.

Running from normality, our friends couldn't quite understand, our gestures full of haste and enthusiasm.
We took things so seriously, in the most enjoyable way, I felt some sort of balance with you and now you've left I simply feel misplaced.

If I kept my head up, and my eyes down -
And left the concept of love to tv, films and books.

If I kept my guard up, when you came around -
Could I be like you because even now I constantly waste my luck.

I could never hate you, I'm sorry if you want me to.
And to be quite honest, it hurts - that I must associate you with negative words.

And well honestly what I said I meant,
My time with you I could never repent.

For you war forged it's on held truths.

A man of honor who is he.

Brilliant and smart in the same instances.

With aim there quality was mint to seek blood.

Thirty solders clicks out in a hot desert breeze.

With sand dunce full of prechers.

Man of sin, and man of hate, leave this Earth yet you linger your scars of faith.

As you approach the valley of bullets.

The Earth was opened and a scary sight was then seen.

Green, colored beings where at the station of a machine, with arms made of anti matter construction.

Flee from this place, our machine will eat your city's and fall your lady.

So the men all perk, up even more ready for there conduction.

One of the beings taller than the rest came to there level of height.

Who here is the leader of your squad.

Me a beared man says!

The being hold out your left arm.

Do not be alarmed, for we are each from a far.

The world we live in is a Cruel, vicious place,
where the lowest in society is used as toys to the rich,
implements of torture is no longer used for punishment.
Now, for the pleasure and the merriment.
What good out of the agony and distress gives you satisfaction?
Ask yourself are you human ?
A human,would have beared compassion.
Not like those
But, i understand,
even if i don't,
That times have changed.
This is the modern society. Attitudes changed. People change!
We do what we have to do to adjust  with amendments made.
Some say 'life was better back then'.
Was it?
The slavery, the long winter wars, the awful hierarchy.
How is it all better?
Maybe it was. Maybe it was not.
everything fits into place now.
Technology is our distraction from the world around us.
It's for the best'
How would i know?
Life clearly isn't a fairy-tale.
Maybe that is a good thing. Maybe... Not
What is Reality?

With love
my mother kept me alive,
And taught me how to count
from one to five

With love
I cried in an empty room,
Vowing to never let a man
decide my doom

With love
I was speechless,
When he knelt on one knee,
as the sun set on the glistening sea

With love
I beared the pain of giving birth
To a child more beautiful
than anything of this earth

With love
he cried over my body
as my spirit slowly left me

Love after all
makes life worth it.
With love,
Everything is just bittersweet

You're two different people,
Correction,
When you see you're reflection
You're divided into sections
Not seeing the big picture is a focal infection
Intraveneous intjection is the method
But that's not what the family knows,
They remember when your grandpa was stealing your nose
Running through the sprinkler with the ****** up hose
But now you're nothing, hoping you only mean something
To the man Who keeps your crutch coming,
Scratch all that, he's not a man, he is a coward
Lusting only for your money and his ****** up thought of power
He doesn't give a ****, he just knows you want caps and powder
He'd let you O.D on his **** and not even throw you in the shower
Give you white flour cause his milk just ran sour
And you still call back at all hours
I just really feel it for them dope fiends,
Trying something once, end up giving all your hopes and dreams
Blue green is the color of the eyes
Of the girl selling her body for her next fix,
Goes to work at night, has to **** like ten *****
And that **** gets real old with a quickness
Seeing no way out, she's found with slit wrists
The split fists of the one who's addicted
He feels so alone, he's beared by no witness
He said "**** this" and did it
His final thoughts were only "No one's gonna miss this..."

A very serious person he was
Until one day he realised how stupid it was
To be a person that
No one liked to see

Then he transformed himself into
Someone different so as to
Suit the desires of folk
And it made him happy

Not for long though he beared the alien skin
And soon realised that it was a sin
To be adored for being someone else
And so he became the same person again that he was

|AB|

Skip the bread and wine
Give me smack and a needle
Put on some Neil, Tori, Morrison,
Or anything by the Beatles
Cause I want to die trying something new
While hearing something familiar
My soul's already black and blue
And I've lost all rights familial
If you must make me suffer
I'll take the pain
No fight or flight reflex
Just a hard falling rain
But please don't harm those I love
They never beared witness
They only are my blood
And I know they regret my kinship
Maybe the memories will surface
Once I'm in proximity to you
I know the world is divided in my fate
In colors red and blue
I just hope the heroes death
Is not a myth or a hoax
Run by merchants, Zion or media
That applauded your being a ghost
Cause around my neck is a chain
Of an unborn baby name
And in my room is a picture frame
Of a soul that seemed to hunger for pain
Cause suffering is aligned with joy
There's a scale of balance in your head
On one end there's a heart of agony
The other waits opened-armed by your bed

Lying, yellow lamp light illuminated the baron broadway.
Fear beginning to break through thought, fighting for freedom from intention.
“Be afraid”.
“Be very afraid”.
He stayed, splayed
on hard road looking peaceful in that white night.
Calling to the angels with snow.
“NO! Be afraid”.
“NO! Be very afraid I said”.
His mind was already made, he stayed splayed.
Weeping, wishing, waiting he welcomed what was to come.
“RUN!!”
“RUN!!”
“RUN!!”
But he was done, finished with the world.
Thought and fear swirled inside; whirlpools of midnight black carried him on tormented tides, torturing his mind.
Is this his time ?
Is this his time ?
Continue on ? and when they ask he’ll just say that he is fine.
Joke and laugh and long inside for things he’ll never find.
These were the thoughts that toiled in his mind, teetering on the edge, shears ready to cut thread.
Laying there....
Staying there as headlight begun to blind.
Feelings, thoughts and life its self bursting from there binds.
Faster, closer, louder. No one sees the signs and no one cares: pain so great it can’t be beared, hurt so deep it can’t be shared, pain that teared and teared and teared. Breaking will, it never stills, pain that built and built and built.
He just wants it to cease,
he just wants peace!.
He could smell it now, petrol in the air.
Hear the wind, see the light, his fear gave up the fight.
The engines roar, so loud that it silenced his mind.
The light got closer.
The light got closer, so many things not done, so many things unsaid.
And then....
he was starring at the moon as car and light and noise passed him over head.
He wasn’t.... Dead.
He wasn’t dead.