Have you ever loved someone?
And the feeling of those butterfly-things appear out of nowhere.

Have you ever been crazy about someone?
When every topic of discussion is connected with that someone.

Have you ever been so excited when you just woke up in the morning?
Because you are about to have a quality time with your one on that day.

But...

Have you ever lost those happily-silly things?
Like you are starving of those feelings to appear again on your days.

I got some friends,
I call them iron buddy.

The rusty one,
the shiny one,
and the fashionable one.

My rusty buddy teaches me
that to be strong I gotta
go through that ***** yellowish thing.

My shiny buddy proves me
that outlook is important but
it shall show the quality inside.

The last one, my fashionable buddy
whispers to me that although people like him,
not every person needs him.

From them,
I learn to be a better of me.

If only I could love 2016.
If only I could understand all these connections.
If only I was wise enough.
I would love 2016.

If only I could handle 2016.
If only I had what it took.
If only I knew how.
I would handle 2016.

If only I could make a deal with 2016.
If I had a wish to grant.
I wish 2016 did not exist.

*but well.. I made it through, at least almost for now..

A dream,
that used to be a beautiful dream,
becomes a nightmare.

I couldn’t wake up,
as the rain kept singing for me,
my old favourite verse.

My scream,
shouting 'it’s only a dream',
once woke me up.

As the rain laid me back,
I closed my eyes,
with the same nightmare.

As the rain goes,
the dream ends,
my day begins.

What a bad morning.

If I should describe the best place now,
it will be my pillow.
The one who is there when I cry
and the one who wipes my tears.
The one who hear my stories
and my screams.

My accompany when I'm dreaming,
the greeter when I'm tired reaching my dreams.

Shall I give her a name?

Thank you,
to the artistic God I know
for the little smiles
of Your creations..

..kids of Geranting

The wind that whispers,
the sun that hugs,
the the wave that sings,
from a little Island..

..Geranting

If there's no commitment,
don't ever hope.
If there's no agreement,
expect nothing.

If both of you don't want to find the way,
don't settle.
If you are the one who is clinging and needy,
fix your mind.

It is too early to cry
The sun has not even set
I lost nothing
I earned nothing

No more smooth hand
that used to wipe my tears
No more soft whisper
that says 'Stop crying, I love you.'

I regret what I did
but I felt rejected now
I knew what I should have done
but I did not

I blame myself but I don't change
Let's say I am not a gentlemen
because I stop reaching her
when I felt it is not mutual

Call me a *****
for hurting her
Stare at me as a ****
for making her crying

I start looking a way to move on
when she said I loved him as a friend
and  he loved me too as a friend
I am just selfish for wanting that word for me only

Then again, I recall what she told me
You are nobody
And again, more tears  drop
I am nobody

I don't own her heart anymore
but she still owns mine
When I met another her,
I won't give my heart

*I would just love her as nobody

I know you see all my fault clearly
You hold them to avoid another pain
But you should remember
You are not the only one hurt

I know I treated you wrong
I know I should have understood
I was inexperience and I still learnt
You are fed up with my unending learning

But please don't bring all my fault
In every fight we have
In every argument we discuss
In every bad day you get

but now it is useless
I  ain't **nobody

"I wish we are getting better"
What did you say again?
"I wish we are getting better"
Wake up man, there is no 'we'

Just remember, Mr We Wanna Be!
Everything has changed
Stop comparing present and past
"It is hard, I keep doing it."

No one says it is easy
No one cares it is hard
'We' do not even care
'We' is too lazy to think

Wake up Mr. We Wanna Be!
Upgrade yourself!
"I did"
But you stopped

"I'm trying to do it again"
Then stop thinking about 'we'
"I can't"
You are too weak then

Are you bothering about her friends?
"Yes"
They are more important than you
"I know"

Do you know why?
"Yes, they were always there"
Why weren't you?
"I was the trigger"

Conclusion?
"They are good, I am not"
Then?
"I should upgrade my self"

How about 'we'?
"I wish..."
What?
"It will exist.. again"

That's all?
"I wish the better 'we' will appear"
How about her friends?
"I wish they support the existence of 'we'"