Days turn into nights
Nights back to days
But sometimes you'll see
You didn't do anything

You notice how little
You do every day
And you start to wonder
To your dismay

Why haven't I done
What I'd dream I'd do
When I was younger
My thoughts went astray

But now they are back
And I want to explore
See the world again
See it once more

So live your life fully
Don't forget your childish dreams
Because one day you'll find
They're all you'll need

Hold on to those thoughts
Of your dreams as a child
Don't live half a life
Live one fully wild

Wild and free
As long as you know
Life half liven
You'll never know

Love is hard
To find and to feel
Love is something
Not all believe is real

But I know
When I gaze into your eyes
That love is so real
It'll be my demise

Too quick to love
To trust and to be driven
You have to power to break
The trust I've given

But no matter what happens
The love I feel for you
Is something that you take for granted
One of my chose few

I meet you now
And see your true colors
As the backstabber you are
And not some lover

You hurt me in ways
I didn't know I could feel pain
Nothing can compare
To my feeling of disdain

So to you, my breaker
My fallen love
Maybe I was wrong...
Maybe there is no such thing as love...

You made me feel so much
We were just out of touch
You helped me to feel
Reminded me that life is real

The butterflies
The warm words
The late nights
The exchanged words

But you murdered the butterflies
Drowned them in cyanide
Kept them alive with a kindred fire
Only to burn them up in their own desire

Middle School
Full of friends and love
Hate and lust
Being thrown under the bus

Doing the right thing
Is harder than it sounds
Harder than it looks, too
Always wanting to be found

Rescued from the abyss
That feeds off of your sadness
That doesn’t know when to stop
That will make you collapse

Needing support
Wherever you can find it
Taking it from others
If it means peace

Life upside-down
Never know how
To turn your life over
That frown upside-down

So when you find peace
Wherever you find it
You never want to leave it
But sometimes you must

Coming back to resurface
After all the sadness
You see the world differently
Then you saw it before.

People can help
But sometimes they don’t
Sometimes they think their helping
But really they’re not

Don’t fall for the lies
The deceptions they place
To try and make you come with them
And do the wrong things

Because in the end, you’ll find
You never wanted to be with them
You just want to be you
And not just some hologram

Embrace who you are
And what you’ve gone through
No matter what it is
Walk up with open arms

Take what you have
And don’t worry about what you don’t
Because in the end, you’ll find
There’s nothing wrong with you

You’ve been through high times
And low ones, too
But no matter what had happened
You found your way through

Through the darkness, you emerged
Opening your eyes
To a new world of color
Without wearing a disguise

Learning who you are
Can change how you act
Change how you feel
Even change how you react

Because now you know
How to see in color
No longer in the darkness
World seeming brighter

Every day can be a good one
If you know how to live it
All you have to do
Is change how you see it

A/N You guys loved the other Middle School poem, so I'm going to write another one for you guys to read. This one will be about when I started 6th grade all through that time. I hope you like it!

First Poem: https://hellopoetry.com/poem/2247755/middle-school/

Worry flitted through my head
As I walked through those doors, unprepared

Nothing I had ever done
Had left me feeling so undone

"It's okay," I told myself
Not able to trust myself

I walked into my first class
Sat down, as the teacher asked

"What's everyone's name,
And how are you?"

I freaked out
And almost cried

I was so scared
I didn't want to be here

But now I think
Back to that day

And laugh at myself
Because I had no reason

To be scared or afraid

I had so many people there
Who had my back

And I made more friends,
Just like that

But as the year went on
I got more comfortable

I noticed who I should be with
And who I shouldn't

And towards the end
Of that hectic experience

I found out something
That I probably shouldn't

I followed protocol
And told someone

About the boy
Who was dealing drugs

My very own brother
Called me out

And I never heard the end
Of the screams and shouts

I wasn't just scared and alone at school
But they were all online, lying about me there too

Not allowed to talk to them
I dropped out of school and started again

Started new, at a brand new school
To become someone new

To become myself now
As I am always to be

Never doubting myself
Like I shouldn't be

Keep quiet
Don't make a sound
Waking the monster is a bad idea
That come's with a painful end
Two soulless eyes stare up at you
A shell of a being
It's a body filled with hatred
For its mistakes and your happiness
It takes it from you when you least expect it
During a movie, or playing a game
You'll be fine one moment
Just living life
But then you speak too loud
Move too fast
And wake the monster within

This is the Teenager Test, To Test if You Are a Teenager. Please Comment Which Numbers Apply To You

1. Have you ever stayed up all night working on a project last minute that you forgot about?

2. Have you ever looked at your computer screen for hours, trying to come up with an idea for a paper?

3. Have you ever stressed about a test so much that you didn't sleep?

4. Have you ever had a crush on someone, but know that they don't know you exist or think that you're weird, stupid, etc..

5. Have you ever had the same crush as your best friend?

6. Have you ever had a best friend that has dated your crush, and you have to magically hold your friendship together?

7. Have you ever gotten grounded because you were trying to help your friend through a tough time but were up way too late?

8. Have you ever waited 3 minutes for a text back, but it felt like 3 hours?

9. Have you ever lost your best friend over a pointless argument?

10. Have you ever been surrounded by friends, but felt alone?

11. Have you ever realized you no longer love your s/o and have to find out how to break-up with them without hurting them

12. Have you ever lost almost all of your friends due to a break-up? Have you ever found out that your so-called "friends" only like you for your s/o?

13. Have you ever pretended that you have a s/o because no one deserves your attention?

14. Have you ever realized that life will go on no matter how much stuff life throws at your face?

Even though you're on at night
And it's hard to stay awake
I feel that if i don't come on
Our companionship would be at stake
So as my eyes a slowly shutting
And my hands start to fail
My brain is already
Starting to set sail
To a world of imagination
That i tap into during the day
To let reality
Just fade away
To allow myself to write
And to be who i am
I first have to learn
How to be gentle as a lamb
So as my eyes close
And my hands falter
You say goodnight
And my mind doesn’t alter
Any image of you i have
In my memory database
You’re all i need
To keep me in my place

No one knows
The thoughts that run through my head
The urges I feel
To slit my skin

No one knows
The darkness I feel
It hangs over me
Just out of reach

No one knows
That I'm never "okay"
That the things I say
Are never what the seem

No one knows
The things I see
How amazing life isn't
What we see

nothing is like
How we perceive
We wish things to be different
But they never will be

every day I find
I do something wrong
even if I was told
to do nothing at all
the lists of chores
I'm given each day
are too long to remember
one thing left to stray
that thing can be so small
like forgetting the laundry or dishes
but boy do I get in trouble
wishing for small wishes
to let me escape
to run and be free
no one to hurt
or ever kick me
because whenever I forget
or work to slow
I get slapped or kicked
but I don't let it show
hiding my true emotions
from the ones I should trust
because if they see my tears
I get kicked in the ****
nothing can compare
to the pain I feel
when the ones I love
hurt me for real
now that I know what it looks like
to be ashamed of your appearance
to be looked at with dislike
for no real reason
the scars and bruises
up and down my legs
are too ugly to show
at any time of day
so that's why I'm looked at
oddly in the summer
cause I'm dressed in pants and long-sleeves
like in the middle of winter
no one can understand
how much I do
until I leave for good
and they notice what I do
they shout and they scream
when something is forgotten
but I'm used to it now
that burning sensation
it starts in my eyes
making me cry
and when they see my tears
out of my disguise
I hide myself
behind a veil of smiles
because no one can know
how I long to run for miles
get away from this hell
that is my everyday life
finally find someone
that really makes my day
someone who knows
and understands my horrors
why I don't wanna know
what they plan behind closed doors
one day they'll catch me
with my mask off and away
my horrors will return
come back to everyday
because no matter how fast
or how far I might run
they'll always catch me
and then I must come
back to the home
that can scare my nightmares
where the devil once walked
and still does, I swear
forced once again
to work hard and not forget
for if I slip up
it might cost me my head

Another day goes by
Uneventful, fake
The happiness subsides
Leaving a cold, unforgiving world
In its wake
One day
I'll finally know what it feels like
To enjoy waking up
To enjoy life

Today isn't that day

You're life is tough
I understand
You've been treated rough
Been thrown into quicksand
But that doesnt mean you give up
Not a chance
Instead youre supposed to prosper
Accept a helping hand
Nothing I could ever experienced
Could even compare
To the life youve lived
Pushing through suffocating dispare
Now I understand
You feel like a failure
But youre not
I swear
Please understand,
When I say these things,
I dont mean them to be fake,
Because they have meaning

Texting you at night
I suddenly realize
That no matter how much i try
I’ll never modernize
It’s like my life
Is in a black and white movie
And for some reason
I want a strawberri smoothie
In a modern town
I don’t fit in
And in a olden film
I’m just a sin
No one see’s me for who i am
Behind this mask i wear
I’m only every really me
At night when i’m playing truth or dare
When i’m with my fam,
I can take off the mask
But with so many “judges”
I am given an almost impossible task
Not being yourself
Is the hardest task of all
But soon enough you learn
How to perfectly evolve

Someday, my punishment will end
I'll be free form this hellish earth
Until then I must mask myself
And serve my sentence with diligence

I walk these roads alone
With thoughts swarming through my head
Music in my ears flowing like water through them all
Like air through a spiders web

The water drowning my thoughts
Them fighting for air
Soon they will give up
Freeing me from their despair

Days blend into weeks
Mind dulling and dying
But it's okay, for in the end
My soul will go back to hell

Scrolling through the past
Is informational
It reminds us of who we once were
And who we've become
Rediscovering feelings
We had almost forgotten we had
And we'd shared them with the world
And we didn't do half bad
I thought I'd never escape her
Her iron grip leaving bruises where she held us
But we did
We made it
Life got a little better for it too

We aren't fixed
We are still sad
We still have depression
But it's not as bad as it was
She's gone from our lives
Our abuser
Tormenter
Stepmother

And she dares to call herself a fighter

I don't know what I did
The past is so blurry
I can't remember
What I did to deserve this
My mind won't leave me alone
But you will
My hands move on their own
Texting you again
I know you'll never love me too
I understand you're using me
But red flags through rose-tinted glasses
Just look like flags
Armed with my heart on my sleeve
And rose-tinted glasses
Ready for you to use me
Because pain is the only thing that's real

Shouldn't they
Care about us?
Having compassion
Opens up doorways and
Opportunities. it allows for
Learning and growth.

Instead, they feign these things
Shooing away the cries of pain.

Help us" they scream, their words
Echoing off of walls.
Losing their meaning as they multiply and
Likewise, get ignored.

She's
      Broken
               Because
                          She
                               Believed

He's
     OK
         Because
                    He
                       Lied

Explicit

She said she was okay
And you believed her?
Let me tell you what's wrong with her
She's tired
That's exactly what she is
                                  T
                                    I
                                     R
                                       E
                                        D
She's tired of being  
                         H
                           U
                             R
                               T
She's tired of being
                          L  E  T
                                   D
                                     O
                                       W
                                         N
She's tired of the
                      L
                        I
                         E
                           S
She's tired of caring too L I T T L E, and not caring at A L L
She's tired of H O L D I N G it
                                        I
                                         N
She's tired of being
                         B
                         R
                         O
                         K
                          E
                         N
                           D
                           A
                           M
                           A
                           G
                           E
                           D
                             W
                             O
                             R
                             T
                             H
                             L
                             E
                             S
                             S
                               NEVER
                                        GOOD
                                               ENOUGH
                                                          P
                                                           A
                                                          I
                                                        N
She's tired of being J U D G E D for EVERYTHING she D  O  E  S
She's tired of all her F L A W S and I
                                              N
                                             S
                                            E
                                           C
                                          U
                                         R
                                        I
                                       T
                                      I
                                     E
                                   S
She's tired of T R Y I N G           P
She's tired of getting her hopes U
She's tired of being treated like *******br>She's tired of trying to be H E R S E L F
She's tired, and you want to know how I know all this?

                       E            D
Because S    is M            E
             H                   R
               E                 I
And I'm R  E  A  L  L  Y T

I sit in silence
Unseen and unheard
The world flowing around me
Like water, a blur
An earthquake shakes me
Down to my core
No one else feels this
I start to shake more
My body a vibration
The world a constant mountain
As I shake people don't notice
Of course not, they're too focused
Anxiety is no joke
Yet society sees it as one
It can be caused by anything
Or anyone
So stop with the plexiglass
Stop forming the barriers
Break the glass, step through the other side
Instead of saying "you're fine", your words a rapier

why cant i sleep
at night like i should
instead im distracted
by things i shouldnt
afraid youll leave
if i sleep
i stay awake
not making a peep
would be dead
if they found me
awake this late
at 1am
please dont leave me
im not ready
to go out into the world
my legs arent steady
help ley me down
to rest my head
and promise that tomorrow
i wont be dead
i wont be alone
ill have you
and youll protect me
against the unknown

a/n i never sleep. too busy writing!

I knew someone one day
and the next they were gone
no one knew where they went
they vanished like snow

snow melts on a warm day
and melts into the earth
my someone's personality
did just so

so now I sit here
wondering where you went
knowing that one day
it'll snow again

hopefully, you'll come back
when the snow falls again
because if snows around
then you're around
and there are no more fears

you make my day much better
distract me from my life
but just now I realized
that my someone is me
that someone is my happy side

so now that I know
that I can be alive
no more depression for me
my suicide will subside

I'll be happy once more
able to see with new eyes
the world in which I live in
will finally come alive.

Something, I have found
Is wrong with me
Nothing I can do
Can make me feel complete

I could climb the highest mountain
And feel nothing
Just like how I feel
Whenever I do anything

I try not to submit
To the demon in my soul
But it's so hard to fight
The ever-growing hole

Nothing can fix
What has happened to me
So now all I can do is wait
For it to overtake me

That test
That Homework
That Crush
That problem

Stress comes
In all shapes and sizes
It doesn't matter the reason
Your stress doesn't care
It'll haunt you forever
In life and in sleep
When you're most vulnerable
It'll attack in the most unwanted times
Just prey on you
It's your predator
Always lurking in the shadows
The darkness in your mind
You'll realize one day that time doesn't affect it
It grows with you
Feeds on your worry
And sadness
And anything that could make you feel stress
It'll use against you
Until you find that you're stressed for no reason
Or stressed for every reason

There is a way, however
To keep your stress at bay
If you always are happy
The darkness can go away
Your stress won't be able to grow
Only hide in fear
But the darkness can't fully go away
Because there's always something
That can go wrong
And your stress will feed
And the darkness will grow.

You've had a hard life
Full of hatred and denial
Betrail and heartbreak
Like your heart is on trial

You want it to end
This treacherous life
To run away free
To give up the fight

But I can tell you now
That nothing can compare
To what you've gone through
Through all that despair

It might seem like
The tunnel of light
Would be much better
If it stopped burning bright

I can tell you
"Don't end your life"
But it would do anything
Except fuel the fight

Your heart doesn't want it
I can see it in your eyes
So I wrote a poem for you
Without wearing a disguise

I might not be the wisest
Or all knowing and powerful
But I can tell you
That life is beautiful

Seeing a sunrise
Or little bits of joy
Will make you realize
Your life's not a toy

Don't take these moments
The futures you haven't seen
Instead, hope that one day
You'll find where you've been

Find your soul and yourself
On this journey of life
Some might even call it
A journey of love

Pay attention to your surroundings
Always count exits
And cameras
And make sure you aren't alone
For loneliness causes the voices to surface
And you know what happens then

Convince yourself you have company
Even if you're alone
Crying in a corner
Facing sword-wielding demons with a rock

Alone
Hurt

Waiting for your savior
To come from above
To help you resurface

They never come

And as I sit
With colors all around
There’s a hole in my heart
It’s source yet unfound
When I can fill this
Temporal void
Is up to the imagination
Of a very special boy
I leave everything to you
My life and my soul
Please finally complete me
To have and to hold
In this life and the next
I wish for nothing more
Then to finally feel happy
To no longer feel bored

Explicit

A for Anxiety
B for bipolar
C for confusion
D for depression
E for everything
F for ****
G for great...
H for help me
I for im fine
J for joking
K for kidding
L for lying
M for mistake
N for nothing matters
O for overreacting
P for please save me
Q for quiet
R for respecting everything but yourself
S for so what?
T for thanks a lot...
U for Underneath it all
V for very disrespected
W for *****
X for eXamine my life
Y for youth all gone
Z for a Zig Zag live of emotions

Be happy, and don't be any of these
Also, half of these most teenagers don't have, but we feel like we do

alone
forgotten
never given any time
to try to see
the light
at the end
of
the
tunnel

Moods can change and switch
Sometimes on their own
Making a sad moment exciting
Making a happy moment dreadful

Like flipping on and off a light switch
These emotions change
Not on purpose, of course
The emotions rearranged

If a day wasn't already hard
This would make it harder
Being dragged into an abyss
This is what it's like to be bipolar

Thinking can
Harm you
In ways
No one
Kind could ever understand

Am I crazy
Butterflies in and
Out of my stomach, everything in
Utter shock,
Time no longer existing

Youth can be decieving
Outward apperance can
Utterly destroy our
Respect for ourselves and
Speaking of self respect,
Everyone has some
Life in them, it's
Finding it that can sometimes be hard

A little fun can never hurt

Life is a mysetery
In a nutshell
Titles as our names
Too much about us leaking through
Little to nothing at times we need feeling
Eventually no longer feeling anything at all

Most people
Overexaggerate little things
Respond inpolitely and
Eventually, never get what they really wanted