I wish you liked to
Do things confined within these
Familiar walls.
My interaction meter
Is full, and I just want you

Pain that is root- deep
(Growth has never been comfortable)
But not pistol height;
On a journey for the map
To metamorphosis.

You sound like pen on
Paper, and to you, I sound
Like wind chimes tinkling
In the breeze on our journey.
You and I, we’re made for this

In the way that
Perfume smells different
On the skin
Than it does
In the bottle,
You are different on me.

You came to me
Swirling with chaos
And confusion,
And a brooding rage;
Like storm clouds
Provoking the tidal wave.

Your skin on mine
Smells like the calm
Before the storm;
Like morning coffee
And French vanilla
Goodbye kisses.

Like fresh picked lavender,
And a pinch of mint
Mixed with calming vanilla;
One inhale and I
Am transported to
A place that is home.

Home is where the
Heart is, and my heart
Is honeysuckle
And feathers,
And your touch.
And you, always you.

Dizzy rainbow after
the aural
Downpour; drained to the
Ditches.

Arms like ivy reach for
Sunlight;


I reach for you.

I feel like a stranger
In my home,
In my body;
Invisible and wearing
A sheet over my head.

Unheard by all
Worldly ears,
I’m sure the universe
Turns a blind eye
To my prayers.

I like to relate
Myself to bamboo;
Hollow but strong-
Willed. Lanky and
Filled with watery wisdom.

But quiet,
Oh so quiet.
A deadly weapon
And a shield
Against unlistening ears.

I perceive you as a siren,
Using song to draw me in.
Brilliant, but aching,
Your favorite melody
Engulfing the sea;
Breaking glass through lonely love.

Bitter as bleach, the
Words roll off your velvet
Tongue and past acidic
Lips. You’re a hypnotist
Disguised as a broken heart
With a guitar.

Your fingers corrode the
Walls I’ve built, my
Stability in shambles.
I succumb to your song
And follow it to the waters edge,
Eager to die hearing your voice.

Full disclosure,
My deepest fear is
Losing you.
Seemingly petty, but
The memories you’d
Leave me would be
A phantom limb,
Forever haunting me.

Kaleidoscope eyes,
They see the world in
Color, but they
Don’t see me.
Grey backsplash in
A city of rainbow;
The windows
Betray me.

A white witch
Stares at me in
The mirror, vile
And feeling loveless.
These lying eyes
Find bad intention
Everywhere I
Go.

This tricky brain
Plants seeds of
Doubt and jealousy,
Oh how they grow.
Hazel eyes green
With envy make
A generous
Green thumb.

For the record,
Playing victim got
Easier as my heart
Allowed itself to feel
All I’ve repressed.
It’s more convenient
To do the hurting
When I’m hurting, too.

Though I swear I
Never meant to enjoy
It so much,
Nor did I want to use it
On you. I
Am shameful of this
Power, and you are
Undeserving of the wrath.

Metamorphosis,
I will mold myself
Into a new being;
Eyes green with nurture
And lacking envy.
Full disclosure, I
Have you to thank for this;
Your arms, the catharsis.

A dark emptiness hesitates;
Autumn sparks a flame into the sky.
The creeping winter brings me
Chills, and the ravens of the snow
Appear far too early.

Keep Father Cold away for just a little longer.
These brittle bones can’t handle bitter cold
Until these wounds are cauterized and
I feel the warmth in my blood again.
Give me time to hibernate.

Buried to my neck in blues,
Melancholy threatens to swallow
Me whole like a whale
Out in the deep, blue sea.

Apathy waits on the porch,
Holding a mask that looks
Like a reflection. I’m too
Afraid to answer the door.

Disconnected wires and
Missed communications
Linger between the sheets
Like secrets cried out to
The bare walls of a home.
Standards float high
Above our heads
Like the dragonfly.

My own reflection
Slithers out of my
Skin to stare me
In the face and fib,
The most intimate
Kind of betrayal;
She is a quiet,
Cozen serpent.

Broken mirror,
I know you don’t
Want me, you
Won’t touch me.
Jagged edges too sharp
For affection, too tender
For your logic. I get
It; apathetic.

Vulnerability and
Exposed emotion;
I hide in shame,
Naked under white light.
You are too good to
Feel such things.
I get it;
Halfhearted.

Detached from you,
From body and mind,
Limb from limb.
Bare bone dare show its
Face to you, while
I cover myself with
I want. Uncertainty
Occupies my blood.

Cradled in the dream catcher,
I am in epiphany.
Tangled, but floating freely;
In a place no one can see me.

Convinced I’m the witch doctor,
Sent to Earth with two healing hands:
One to nurture fellow man,
The other to tend kindly to the land.

Two fish and the archer
Stand beside the sun and the moon,
And I am between the two
Dancing with memory and deja vu.

The yin yang fish swim infinity
Around me and whisper in my ear
Soul secrets to hold dear,
Prediction for every day of the year.

The yarn floor caves in, I
Free fall through the black hole,
Feeling exhausted but full,
With promise of being made whole.

Back and forth, like a
Pendulum we swing.
Skating a fine line between
Love and hate,
Hoax and fate.

Up and down, like a
Staircase, we climb;
A loving little loop-de-loop.
Your love changes hue;
Vibrant red to melancholy blue.

Forever and always,
I’ll love you more; at each
Other’s throats, you’re still everything:
My heart and soul,
The piece that made me whole.

I heard your voice for the
First time in a long time,
And it didn’t sound right.
No, it didn’t feel right.

I spoke your name for the
First time in a long time,
And it didn’t taste right
Rolling off my tongue.

I heard you cry for the
First time in a while,
And it still tore my
Soul from my body.

I heard you laugh, and
****, it was still comforting.
It’s been a while, but
It made me laugh, too.

And ******* it, I’m
So sorry for what I did to you,
And the things I didn’t do;
The emotion I kept from you.

Sparking that fire in you
Is a rarity; taboo;
Once in a blue moon.

I miss the feeling of being higher
Above all else, the only desire,
More special than any prior.

But it’s clear I’m just a factor;
And on this stage, we’re just actors
Waiting for a red carpet disaster.

I miss writing about you,
Immortality for just us two;
But I want to be remembered, too.

I wish I could care less,
Be a little more fearless
To lose that of which I’m blessed.

All of these words
And feelings
B                 o
      u
                 n            c
                           e
Around inside of me; the
Pen is my weapon of choice
As I battle myself to
Gather myself.

My grimoire;
Rivers of spilled ink flow
Through these pages as
My emotions follow suit.

It is far less destructive
To put lead to paper
Than to allow my inner
Demons to know reality.

(I) Three cups raised skyward
To God in celebration.
Gather sisters, in
The gardens and scream with
The golden rays of sunshine.

(II) The strain of this weight
On my bony shoulder blades
Is overbearing.
I am exhausted and frail;
When can I drop this burden?

(III) A knight in shining
Armor; wielding attractive
Charisma as his
Weapon of choice, rushing
To save the world, or the girl.

(I) Eight golden coins, and
Two remain unfinished. I
Try to concentrate;
My task almost completed;
My goal nearly realized.

(II) Steel soldiers stand in
Formation; eight malicious
Beams, I, their victim.
It’s far easier to play
Scared when I’m the hero, too.

(III) Here lies the karmic
Crossroads; an Armageddon
Of self-reflection.
Will the goddess berate me,
Or will she rejoice with me?

A rose illusion
Surrendering your royal future.

A silent magic,
Fresh with wonder,
Blooming your sacred dream.

It’s certain to glow

I visit often, though
This isn’t my happy place.
A homemade solitary confinement;
I cradle myself in the arms of
An oak while ivy brushes
My cheeks. Golden rays,
Golden buds, and golden wings
Flutter around my vision
Like twinkling treasure chests.

Lonely whispers of the wind
Interrupt the mockingbird’s call
Like a siren screaming in
The night. It is chilling, yet
Comforting. Petrichor seeps
Into my pores and my
Melancholy blues fade to
A golden dream. I’m free to
Leave, but not before opening my eyes.

I haven’t seen you in so many days.

Gnashing teeth unintentionally
Bite at bare, vulnerable skin
Like a cornered animal.

Lash out with the quickness
Of the cobra and strike
At anyone on your path.

I haven’t seen you in so many days.

Someone so sweet can
Become so sour with the
Flip of the mood.

Sharp tongue and bared teeth,
Darling, you are
Unexpectedly dangerous.

I’ve been feeling down lately;
Shrinking into a lowly position.
I’ve been sinking lately;
Falling deep into the Earth.
A sacrificial burial, my roots are
The crypt descending into dirt.

Face to the sun every morning,
My circadian rhythm
Reminds me of my daily rebirth.
Like the sunflower, the light
Is my compass, these feet are my
Anchors, these arms reaching branches.

I wake in the breezy winter,
Emotion strong but rhythmic.

I hear my flame in blue;
The chill too deep,
Tickling uncertain skin.

Our looks shine into
Sorrow’s cove.

Morning, a wandering elegance,
Strumming the dark,
Withering storm.

The cold sense of a
Dreamy deja-vu;
I feel the shadows
Crowd around me
And I’m p
                  u
                     l
                       l
                        e
                          d
Into a familiar darkness.

I roam the dreamscape
In search of an exit.
Although I already know
What lies ahead,
I’m still distressed.

A constant reincarnation
Of the same faceless
Figure, waiting for me
At the end of
My dreaded ascension.

Chilled to my soul,
I face my indistinctive
Nightmare. The ghosts
Of the past seen so alive
From behind closed eyes.

Lucid dreams of a place
That seems unfamiliar,
But it feels like home.

I perform a barefoot ballet,
Sinking my toes like anchors
Into the soil.

Orchids and sunflowers
Stand guard like soldiers, giving
An aroma as strong as gun smoke.

The wind whistles its tune
As the leaves tango, resembling
Lovers brushing fingertips.

I reminisce days where
The garden was the universe
And words came easy.

Today I am speechless and
Amazed by all this vast
World has shown me.

I've cast a hundred
Smiles at strangers and
Loved ones and no
Smile back has ever meant
More to me than yours.

I've gazed into a dozen
Pairs of eyes, trying to
Spark my clairvoyance.
I'd yet to see the future
Until I dove into yours.

I've poured all my love
To only a few, and none
Have nourished my soul like you;
Like a fresh breath after April showers,
And I am in full bloom.

I wake in the belly of a poem.
Wading into watercolor
And a twisting labyrinth
Of Boston ivy.
I can't see through this fog
But it can see through me.
Words like pollen glide
On the wind and
Guide me like fireflies to
A sanctuary of wildflowers.
Here, everything speaks
To me, fluent in my native tongue.
Inhale, exhale, repeat until there's peace.
Bonsai at my feet as if
My toes are whispering to the roots:
"Grow, blossom, thrive",
And I will learn to
Take my own advice.

We laugh and stumble
Through crowded streets,
Your eyes on the lights
And mine on you.

A soft, sweet kiss
From ***-stained lips;
The pulse of the city
Flowing through neon veins.

Intoxicated by the music,
                   My love,
                     Maybe even
                       The double *** and coke.

Cracking jokes in an
Eggshell shower; spilling
Our future on to the floor
For the universe to take note.