Everyone has the right
to right their wrongs
as they write new
chapters that
might lead them
down the right
path
or
not

There's something alluring about
losing yourself in thought

I did that once, and found myself
falling in love
as dangerous and as reckless as it is
today my heart felt like pouring itself
filling an ocean of emotions

As I sat on the shore, seeing the space
in front of me fill itself with my feelings
I felt my color returning, my skin reacting
my heart has fallen
for life, for her, for him, for it
my heart decided to drug my mind
and let go for once  

Aching to ride with the rebels
to drink with the misfits
to dine with the careless
and to fall with the romantics
I decided to get up
give routine the finger
and walk out
with that satisfying mischievous smile
that I and only I
feel such elation
exposing it

I decided to swing like the olives
in a martini, in a haze of transparency
exploding with colors
as I smash from one edge of the cup
to the other

I feel all my blase emotions
relapsing, transforming, reacting
backfiring and stripping me
of things that killed me
aiming and shooting at them
with bullets of revival
bullets of excitement
that inject my muscles
with steroids
pumping them with whatever it is
that makes them human

what the f*%k is happening
this chemical reaction
after weeks of depression
is exactly what the doctor ordered
Scream, yes, do it

Let it start from your toes
let your body quiver as it makes its way
to your mouth
let your corpse feel the injection of life

Wake the hell up, no one is going to do it for you
rub your eyes, make your coffee
and change your commute,
You're not going to work today

You're going
to
scratch all that out
with a permanent marker
look forward
get your pens ready
this is going
to be
one ****
motherF#%king
CHANGE

What would it take
to personify that flame
that burns within?

What would it take
to supply enough oxygen
for eternal burning?

What would it take to avoid
confrontation when your merely
driven by desire?

What would it take to say "yes"
to a question whose "no"
is as apparent as a grey cloud in spring?

What would it take to release
all that frustration on paper
on walls on skin or even
on lips?

What would it take for me to taste
your sins, to fool with them
to sleep with them?

What would it take to enjoy
a dance under the rain at 3 am
all alone as your thoughts
lead the waltz?

What would it take to enjoy
a toxic binge as my neurons
burn one by one?

What would it take to write
endlessly, page after page
of unrelated thoughts?

What would it take for this heart
to beat, like a raging  
jealous lover?

What would it take to simply
find pride in awkwardness?

What would it take to *****
all the poison that your body has
gotten accustomed to?

What would it take
for words to create
the perfect creation?

What would it take for a writer
binge on drinks of inspirations
making love to his brain?

What
The
****
would
it
take?

When I fear my heart
has become too small
for the love
it carries
failing
to
express
the muchness
of
it
all

I see the world
in colors
and (h)ear
it in r(a)inbows
covering it
with a
(p)astel
of (p)ositivit(y)

I lost
myself
in the me's
that have clothed
me through these
30 years

How can you love "you"
knowing there are
so many?

The wet smell of the earth
was **** enough
I woke up to the moon glow
feasting his eyes
on my silky skin

The sultry feel of the night
covered me like silk sheets
caressing every goosebump on my skin

I tasted you in yesternight's alcohol binge
there were bits and pieces that surprised my tongue
along with my memory

The cigarette stench in my hair
whiffed instances that slapped
the drunk off my face

The crumpled money
harvested ash from the drive
in every crease

The burn marks on my hand
brought back the inhibitions
I felt that night or lack there of

what happened I have yet to decipher
yet, I still remember the blurred lights
that lit my eyes with seduction
one that I shared
with you
on
that
one
night!

There were
so many reasons
not to
that also
pushed me
to

You pierce my brain with worry
my body wants to close the shutters
to block your morning light

You inject me with responsibility
making me ache for childhood and loose youth
that was full of simple duties

You slap the "wake up" on my
lazy weekend face
causing me to feel the pain of facing the world

You dear Monday
are one hell of a *******

I got a taste
of your mind
and my
taste buds
developed
a thing for
for your
flavor

Someone told me you're still pretty
you still wear your 20's in your 30's
bite your nails when angsty
and stutter when jittery

Someone told me you still fly
making the earth your sky
falling out of being shy
into living a different reality

Someone told me you still cry
when you're feeling, everything really...
turning your cheeks red with salty tears
chafing childhood from baby cheeks

Someone told me you...still...

I never knew
what it felt like
being loved
the way I love
until
I fell
for myself
through
the looking glass

(I) (n)ever d(o)ubted
**(w) ****
confidence
loo(k)s
on
you

Look ...