Mother, in your hazel eyes I can see the rainbow
the trees flowering
the grass getting greener
rising to the bluest sky.
Mother, in your smile I see sadness
and your forehead is full of wrinkles,
in the space between your eyes I can see the worry,
Mother, your heart is a firefly in my night
when I close my eyes you guide me,
your hand so warm, I need it to hold mine
when it's cold in my mind.
Mother, you're so far
and I can't tell you that I'm hurting
I'm dying inside and I can't show you

Mother, you're so wise, please, tell me
why is it autumn again
if it's only May?

I see tulips so beautifully painting the sight
and yet in my heart
the last leaf has fallen.

Mother, oh Mother, tell me
when I will fall to the ground
will they step on me
or will they pick me up
and keep me between the pages of their hearts?

Mother, I'm just a leaf
and you don't know
that my autumn has come
to bury me again.
I am falling,
the dirt is covering me whole,
your hand is so far
I'm reaching but there's only the wind
tearing me apart.


*Mother, it's autumn again
and you can't see me falling.

There’s something that makes me spend
more and more time in my room.
It is a dark place,
the lights never get through the window,
there are monsters under the bed,
but they never sleep.

People are not allowed in my room
they can’t even knock at the door;
Some of them know it,
they just let me be alone.
—or maybe they just don’t care—
But sometimes new people arrive in my world,
they try to save me
so they just come in.
And that’s when I hurt them.
And then the monsters make me lock the door,
light a small candle
and read from the book where the pain
writes poems every day,
while they show me pictures of all the people I've hurt,
of everything I've destroyed.

And then my entire being starts screaming, mad at me,
until I shatter and pieces of me cover the floor.
After that comes the silence.


You don't know  how afraid I am
of silent, dark nights
how something just makes me go in there
every time I start feeling
love.

And I wish I could let people in
without hurting them.

But I can't.

So please, don't come in
don't even knock.
Don't try to save me.

There are monsters in my room
and I am the worst of them.

There are clouds covering my soul
and I know the rain they're crying
is hurting your heart too.
I'd make it nice and shiny
just so you can feel the warmth,
but I don't know how to do it anymore.
Clouds of silence darkening me whole
unspoken words I have for you
are dying under the tempest
while the blank page stares at me
and I feel useless.

A rain of fire
burning us both.

The sun always shines after a storm
and I hope
a rainbow will appear
before these falling flames
will turn us to ashes
flying over the ocean between.

Broken
Empty
I feel naked
Ashamed
My heart is exposed and my weaknesses are there
In everyone's eyes
My darkness only blinds me
I hear people laughing diabolically
Planning ways to use my flaws
I feel people getting too close
I cannot stop them
My wall is down, my broken arms
Cannot build a new one
I cannot run anymore
Cannot oppose them
I can't cover my nakedness.

My mind has become a blank page
I don’t know who I am anymore
I am lost
In the darkness I feel that I've never existed;
In my thoughts I see
Things that are not supposed to be here

Bitter words are flying in my brain
There’s a cold wind in my soul
I am getting cold
Like Andersen’s Little Match Girl
Dreaming hopelessly about some arms that could make me warm.

I hurt
I'm hunted by poltergeists,
With my bleeding hands I dig my own hole in the ground,
I hide in it
I close my eyes
I feel that I'm dying, but I know
I am only sleeping.


I can only hope that I will soon wake up from this nightmare

I want to get smaller and smaller, to turn into a ghost, a shadow, to be able to hide in a wormhole in the ground.
I want people to forget about me. Because I hate myself and I hate everything I do. Because I hurt everyone I know and I destroy everything I touch.
I want to stop the time, to live forever in this moment, I want my life to stop advancing in space, because I don’t like where it goes. It’s like my body, my whole existence, is composed of mistakes and I am like this gigantic fault magnet, no matter what I do, no matter where I go, failure is there, waiting for me.
The demons inside my head build a hell for me every day and I have to carry it with me all the time. And I can’t stop them. I am so used to this hell that I am afraid of trying to get rid of it. I’m afraid of becoming happy.
So I hide.
I feel weak, I feel cold. I feel a sharp pain in my chest.
My bones are empty.
I fall.
I shatter.
I am small, but not small enough.

I remember the days when we were two stupid kids,
we were eating blackberries grown on tombs
and the moon was just a big stone
the sun was leaving its last breath on.

Now I am looking for you on the Wood street
where you last time smiled at me,
on the Wood street where people eat with their hands
the remains  of those burned by unhappiness,
while fools sing about love and dreams and the holes in their hearts.

I am looking for you
and I don't know whether you are a human or a dream
or the ash
that slips through my frozen fingers.

Maybe you are just the hole in my soul,
maybe the moon is more than a big stone,
maybe I loved you
maybe
you are still there somewhere
in the Sun's last breath.
Maybe it's just your smile
that has burned
covering my soul
my hands.

Poetry is dead
when you are not here
to write it in my heart
when your voice is too far away
to read it.

Poetry is dead
when your allure is feeding
strangers' souls on the streets
while I am here alone,
my soul starving.

Poetry is dead in all my being
I feel its ghost leaving my brains
I feel the emptiness inside
and I fear the days
when it will come haunt me
and I won't find a way
to write it.

Sleeping at night it's impossible
cause I hear a question screaming in my chest

When poetry is dead
is there anything out there
left
*alive?

You came into my life
the way spring comes to wake up everything around
planting flowers in my soul
making the sun rise
and the stars shine
when all I could see was darkness
and moonless skies.

Like a prisoner dreaming of freedom
I spend my darkest hours dreaming of you
in my heart there was such a hole
and you with a smile
filled it whole.

Water has a bad taste
cause my lips are pinning for your sweet wine
and nothing  can compare with the elixir
my hearth wants to have

I would fall in hell a million times
to feel the way your flame burns my body,
I will prey to all the gods of the world
to  have you in my eyes
the way I have you in my mind

I am a prisoner and you such a free soul
I am a prisoner
dreaming of the freedom
the freedom you are
in my weakest bones.

I cannot imagine myself living in a world
where you don’t exist.
Because in this world where all one can smell
is gun smoke and young blood shed on the pavements,
in this world, your breath makes the air pure
bearable to me,
even though you are so far away from my arms,
even though I will never have you
and I've never had.
Even though you've been only one of those vivid dreams
from which I wake up crying
and scared
and happy.

I woke up a long time ago,
but I can still feel the air
you were breathing out
into my soul.

in this quiet room
i can only hear the rain knocking on my window
i can only feel the storm in my head
dark and it's getting darker
light won't ever shine
cold and it's getting colder
it's autumn in my heart
dying with every leaf
i haven't got the will to live
my body aches
millions of needles through my skin
my heart dies little by little
i embrace the pain
i'm holding my breath
i find joy when closer to death
i am drowning in tears
cutting in my flesh
the rain from my veins falling harder and harder
red on my legs
red from my wrists
an ocean of misery i'm falling in
i cannot swim
i'm drowning in a sleep
that i'd like to last forever.

There's a storm inside me
it starts every time I hear your laughter in the night,
when I think about the way we changed
from human beings
to some people who can only share
some words written on a cold page;

it's hard to explain how is it that I miss you
when I've never really had you in the first place
and you wouldn't understand
you see
your heart has long forgotten about feelings like these.

still

I hear your voice calling my name
I see you before my eyes
even in my dreams I write you in bleeding lines
and in my waking hours
your smile brings raindrops in my coffee
and tears on the shirt I wear
because once you said that you liked it;


spring brings tulips at my doorstep
but it's hard to feel their perfume
to let their scent in my broken lungs;

people tell me that all I have to do
is breathe



but it's hard to breathe without crying.

watch the sunset setting on fire
the concrete buildings you can see at the horizon,
feel the sand cooling in your palms
as the sun is one more time going down.
watch the stars while they slowly show
their bright faces between the clouds.

upon the sea
the moon again kisses the skies
before they go to sleep
and I'm not there,
I'm not there
to see it with you.

breath in the salty evening
hear the voices of the waves
singing unheard lyrics;

build a fire
gather some souls
a guitar sound,
you have it all.

wait for the sunrise to paint the clouds
dance with a stranger
while the Bolero with its crescendo
touches your mind
see the Black sea turning into Red
see the shy sunrays braided with the waves,
kiss the air while it is still fresh,
feel the sand as it gets warmer in your hands.
watch this life waking up again,
and if you have any free time
send me a picture of your perfect land.
or, better yet, send me a picture of your smile
after all, that's the image I most long to have
when the night breaks in
and I have only darkness between my clouds.

*upon the sea
the moon again kisses the skies
before she goes to sleep
and I'm not there,
I'm not there
to see it with you

Your portrait carved on my soul
—burning masterpiece lasting forever—
I feel your eyes on my chest
you wrote your name on my lips
for forever
                                              
I wake up with swollen eyes
—make up won't ever cover up
the pain I carry—
I feel
black holes swallowing me whole
I get lost in old books no one reads any more
I am a ghost
wandering in a nebulous world
I fight daily for a slice of air
I'd stab the sky and drink its blood
if it would bring me a crumb of life

regrets
they haunt me like poltergeists
can't sleep at night
their sound is so loud
everything I've done
comes before my eyes
I can't breathe
I want to make it stop

I've kissed devils believing I was buying love
I've ran miles and miles trying to reach the horizon
I've cried tears
and tears
and tears
trying to forget what wasn't mine to love
I've haunted black birds disguised in the angels of the night
I've kept the dirt in my pockets believing it was gold
I've walked to the light
but it was just a fire burning me whole
I've turned into devil then into angel
and demon and angel and so on
I've let myself fall believing I would land on clouds—
the ground, it broke my bones—
I've drank all the glasses of poison in the world
I've eaten sorrow as dessert

I've lost my soul
my brain is shattered
my lips bleeding
my arms longing

and still

nothing is as bad as the fact
that I've never shown you
my true heart
and how much
I
love
you

religion should be about hope
not putting fear in other people's souls
should be about about peace
not about starting wars
about forgiveness
not about punishing innocent hearts

imagine all the people living life in peace

but how can one do this when bombs are thrown
instead of love
when moms cry
and children die
peace is impossible to be seen
when music dies and we hear only desperate hearts
praying
begging
wondering why.

we have different Gods and rules
our prayers sound different
our holy books are not the same
and
there are many sins in our souls
but
you're not God, nor am I
and none of us should play
the game of washing sins away
with spilled blood
and shed tears.

and then somewhere
over a blues song
I can hear your voice
and I miss you,
my feelings, they get harder and harder to breath with
I am dying under some guitar strings
and I want you
and there is no desert that needs water
as much as I need  you.
you to be mine
to be mine

there are so many words i could write you
but my mouth is locked again
my heart can't read anymore
wish i could tell you how i'd rebuild
the aurelian walls around you,
the king,
but i know my hands are useless now
and my mind has been washed away
by the same sea
you were trying to teach me
how to swim in.

and the beggars on the streets
they ask me for pennies
"from your kindness"
they say
but my cold eyes can't have it anymore.

my decisions are dark
i make mistakes
when i decide to whom i should give my soul,
when i decide what i should ****
when i forget everything i've learnt.

the music i used to love
the metaphors
they don't make sense to me anymore
not because i don't hear them
but because today
i've chosen to see and hear the reality.

sad-eyed lady i will be for some more
but i'll set you free from seeing the sadness
the pain
i wish i could love you
the way seagulls love to rest on the sand
the way children love their paper planes
i wish i could be
the angel you see
but i know
i am just a human being
stepping on souls.

A shooting star
my whole existence is
I used to believe that I am a new human
in your colourful life
a shooting star star
falling on the open field of hopes
of your dreams
I am falling now
with each and every  breath of yours
with every sun that rises
with every sun that dies
I am that shooting star
you believed in
but
I can't make your wish come true
I will just make myself true
even though
I don't shine in your Universe
even though
I am just the dying star
you have stepped on
on a lonely night
when the moon was shining
and the night on your heart
was covered with clouds.

I am the shooting star
falling
dreaming
of your eyes
of your smile.

In silence, I know
I am the only shooting star
with a destiny of its own.

A star who doesn't smile
nor falls
A star who just leaves
like the smoke of your cigarette
in the wind.

I am the shooting star star
you didn't see
the one who loves you
and you did not
believe.

And now you’re going..
Your blue eyes leaving a cold shadow on my soul
Realizing that you cannot love me
That you don’t need me.

And the wine will never  taste the same it did before.

And now you’re leaving
Taking with you all the scents I've put in your hair
All the poems I've read to you
All the perfect moons
The ugly, boring Sundays
Your smile
The smoke of cigar coming from your lungs
Your heart
Your voice whispering
“I’ll never leave you”.

Solitude,
The extension of my body,
Living at the end of my fingertips,
Eating me alive.

Solitude,
The friend I've had for years,
The only one to wipe my tears
As I die in my sleep.

Solitude,
Oh, Solitude,
The one who never leaves,
Never disappears,
The one I'll always have
Here, with me.

Solitude,
In the darkest corners of my mind
I will always find you
loving me, caressing me.

Solitude,
Oh, Solitude...
My one and only


Solitude

7am again, but in my room it's still night
light won't come inside
though the sun already shines
in the highest skies
in the highest skies.

Cold again, laying in my bed
I miss your warmth
I miss your hand
I call you and in the quiet air,
I feel your absence in my veins
killing me again
killing me again.

I need you to teach me
how to see the light
shining upon the sea
I need you to tell me
how am I supposed to breathe
when you're not here.

I look around to find your shadow
in every corner of my world
I see only emptiness
a desert for my inner flowers.
Oh, tell me,
where have you gone
where have you gone?

Alone I'm wandering again
these streets of despair
dead people walking around me
and I know, oh, I know
without your air
I'll soon be one of them.

*I need you to teach me
how to see the light
shining upon the sea
I need you to tell me
how am I supposed to breathe
when you're not here

looking for a fresh page
a new start
but I fail
the lights are still down
in the back of my brain
seems impossible to come out of this alive

looking for a hand to hold mine
a friendly smile
a saviour
but I am only lying to myself
as I know,
today's heroes are the ones
who tomorrow will shoot you down

I look for love
and kind words at night
I look for the star that's gonna make light on my path
I look for someone who'll tell me
that it is gonna be all right

I look around for rescuers
I picture them in my mind
I smile when I think that I might one day find
they're real
and I forget for a few moments
there are only temporary heroes
and the ones to save me today
will tomorrow be the first ones
to **** me with their ****** hands

I look around for temporary heroes
and I forget
that my only forever lasting hero
lives within myself

I was walking around aimlessly
In my dream last night
When I finally reached the hill
Between the end of the world
And the beginning of it;

And I climbed that hill
While the light was disolving into the dark
And the sky was blue and red
While the trees were silhouettes
Against the dark clouds.

Then the wind started blowing
And I felt sad and happy at the same time;
I closed my eyes and let it take away
Pieces of my restless soul—
I was dying, but never have I felt more alive.

When the last piece was about to fly
I woke and realised—
The wind was you
And I was no longer alive.

Forever cursed to wander
Between death and life.
Forever will I chase the wind
To get my soul back.

There were times
when the moon used to hurt so much
it was like someone
was constantly carving in my heart
portraits  of pain
it was like someone
was painting with flames
your face
in my chest

I have thirteen bruises on my right leg
but none of them hurt as the one
you left on the left side of my heart.

there's a photograph on my bedside table
you thought the sun will shine
whenever I'd look at it,
now you have gone,
the sky in the picture has turned to something dark
no room for sun,
and there's dust on the photograph and you
you are just a shadow
on the sidewalk I fall on letting all the rain pour down on my soul,
and the sun is just a memory
and you are just an excuse to turn my smiles into tears
and I am just the dust
falling on your lungs.

and we were just a glimpse of happiness,
an illusion
a dream,
a lie I listen to
before my eyes close,
before the darkness comes in.

There lies my heart in cold again
waiting in the darkest pain
it prays and prays by the skies to be heard
but skies they reach with nothing but a bolt.

The pavement's wet, my heart is bleeding
in tears I see it breathless leaving
the wings I built they hurt too deep
cause wings of lead can't fly but dig—

There lies my heart in cold again
and I in sorrow am once more falling,
my empty chest, my tears, my pain
in darkness I am hopelessly crawling.

I feel like I am one of those sad songs
nobody wants to hear at a party
because they wake up memories,
open wounds,
make you bleed inside
And because in a few moments they ****
Everything that’s left of you.

Because they hurt.

You are Shakespeare in a world of fools,
poetry in a world of broken words and
broken feelings.

in a world full of desperate cryings
and spiteful noises,
You are the jazz instrument that
makes it quiet in my mind.

You are love in the middle of
this war i am fighting with myself.

Your lips, pure art,
You are the smile
that brings colour
in this black-and-white world.

You
a dance in a summer rain,
You
a rebel lost in a world of rules,
a free bird,
a mystery,
You
the richest wine,
that makes my dark feelings
numb.

You,
beautiful as Vincent's Starry Night,
Your eyes are two blue moons
i get lost in
You,
the one who has a shelter in my mind,
You,
the purest feet that have ever stepped on my heart.

You,
the voice that lifts me from the abyss
whenever i fall.


To be or not to be is no longer a question,
to be with You
is the only answer.

when i hear your voice
i feel like smoking a million cigarettes
and drink tens of bottles of wine
i see pictures of your smile
i hear you protesting in wise words
and saying all the things
about people who are not heard

the way your harmonica sounds
and your guitar strings
they lift me to heaven
and bring me back to earth
a vision of love and hate
your voice
something so strong,
my ordinary ears cannot understand sometimes
your words

some say you don't have the voice
but the way i hear it
i can't compare it to anything
not to angels
nor to demons
you have the right kind of soul
the kind they will never get to know

i wish you'd never disappear
never go
i know
a stupid illusion
but in my heart you are the one
making my rainy days bright
your songs they make me smile
every time i hear them in my room.

i had a dream
you were sitting next to me
typing some words
and as much as I deny it
i know
it was the most wonderful image
i'll ever get to see.

playing with words is your best game
a mystery
a lost soul
a rough voice
and gentle touch of strings
a mad voice in a world
with nothing to believe in
to you
i'll drink a glass
and in my heart
your music will be
the only thing that will ever last.

I am full of memories
painted on our ceiling
when we were just two kids
and the rain wasn't hurting anyone

do you remember the smell of smoke
coming from the leaves our mother used to set fire to?
remember the November sunsets
when we'd play stupid games
and none of us was a winner?

remember how we used to sit in front of the fire
playing cards and drinking wine
we thought our lives would be like a smooth sailing on the ocean
yet here we are
miles away from each other
and the music doesn't sound the same
and our cards are missing
still no one is a winner

still
the smell of burning leaves wakes me up at night
still
we are apart
and the wine we drink daily
has no taste
and we keep on playing
even though our lives are like a wrecked ship
in the middle of an ocean that's always dark
we are still lying to ourselves
but deep inside we do know
the wine has changed its colour

and so did our eyes.

much  darker they are
much clumsier our fingers
much number the feelings

and
somewhere,
the leaves are falling
and they are burning
we just can't smell them
                       anymore.

in my dreams i see you sometimes
i am next to you and your eyes
are not sad
they just smile the way i saw them smiling
only a few times

when i look in the mirror
i hear your voice saying there was beauty in my
smile and in my big blue eyes
i was a little girl then
and many years have gone
and you have gone with them
but
i still remember your hugs
though it feels like decades since i was last in your arms
and your voice still echoes in my brain
i remember the last time we spoke you told me
to not cry,
to be strong
and i am trying to be.
i am.

i pretend that i am.

i see you in my dreams sometimes
and i am again a 6 years old little girl
running to you
when you open the front door
and waking up realising
i will see your face no more
it's the most painful story
and i cry sometimes
but you are not here
to open any door
and i am not 6 years old any more
and there's no beauty
in  my big blue crying eyes.

you left and took away your voice,
your dancing,
your bright face
your warm arms
and your kind eyes,
i am left only with a picture
i keep inside a box
behind the front door of my heart
and i want to go back,
to be your little girl again
and i know i'll never get to tell you
that I don't want to pretend any more
and I want you to tell me
that it's okay if i am not always strong
that it's okay to cry.

in many lines i have tried to write you
but i always do it the wrong way
and it seems impossible to describe
how much i miss you
and i need you
and
how much
i love you.

shining little red hearts
glowing on my cold screen
beautiful words before my eyes
art entering my veins.
I'd give you thousands of heart
but I'm afraid
I only have one.

Beautiful words,
music to my sight,
touching my soul
my mind smiles
as I climb your beautiful lines
lines that make me weep and laugh
get me thinking
make me get lost
make me hurt
and make me feel alive
my eyes reading tirelessly
always asking for more.

Your words are the reason to smile at night
and in the mornings when storm falls
upon my inside land,
when the wind blows
is to you where I come
to find serenity.

My words are poor
and I am just a small letter
kneeling before
your majestic words.

My tuberculosis infected heart
spits blood
and
stays away from light
lives in humidity causing fungus growing
In my inside.

My tb infected heart caughs from all its holes
at night
it never sleeps
nevear eats
it's lost it's appetite for people and joy
and laughs

My tb infected heart will die soaked
in smoke
they'll burn its bed, its clothes
every crumble of feelings
and I will be left naked
with blood stains on my skin

My tb infected heart
lives in isolation
between walls of mirrors reflecting
the misery of my mind
It lives in fear and shame
hungrily waiting for death to come
for them to burn its bed.

Falling

Drowning.

I remember how your voice used to keep me
at the surface
walking like Jesus on water I was
thinking that I was saved
from the beasts living, hiding at the bottom of the ocean
waiting, and waiting, and waiting in silence
for me to drown
to get deep into this misery.

Falling.

Drowning.

The beasts at the bottom are waiting and waiting,
your voice is fading, grows weaker and weaker,
I find myself unable to walk
I drown with every step I try to take.
The beasts in the deep are coming for me.


I am unsaved.

She was so beautiful
The blind men would fall in love with her beauty.
She was so beautiful
The angels would give up their wings
So they could walk next to her.
She was so beautiful
The seagulls would fly to the desert
Just to be with her.
She was so beautiful
Not even the demons would dare to seed sins
in her pure soul.
She was so beautiful
I would let her hurt me over and over again
And thank her for that.
She was too beautiful for such a miserable heart
Like mine.

I wasn't there with my body
when you were happy,
or walking in an evening rain,
I wasn't there with my eyes
to see the tears you shed
I wasn't there to feel your skin,
to see your eyes bloom at night.
I wasn't.

I wasn't there with the body
that would keep your feelings warm,
I wasn't with the arms
that would make your pain go.

I thought i was there in your soul,
a shade of sea,
a morning in the spring,
my words, I thought,
they'd make you feel
the same sunrise that's in my smile
whenever your voice speaks to me.

I hoped I was at least a dream,
a thought of yours at night,
a traveller in your mind,
a phrase,
a nonsense,
I hoped
I was one of your cigars,
your cup of tea,
your rest.

I thought
I hoped
In silence now I know
I wasn't with you
at all.

When I think of you,
I see this imaginary person my mind has created
to make the pain easier to endure,
I see you reading my words
and writing to me,
worried or smiling,
sometimes happy, but most of the time sad.

When I think of you,
I can feel the warmth coming from your soul
even though it is full of cold darkness and full of demons in there,
when I think of you
I imagine your beautiful smile,
your voice whispering healing words,
your eyes looking into my heart,
I can see myself being in your arms and feeling safe.

When I think of you
I imagine someone who would wait for me
in a small, warm-lighted house,
at the end of a hard winter day.

When I think of you,
I see someone who would
Make soup for me when I am down and hungry.

When I think of you, it sometimes hurts
because I will never know if you are real,
I will never have the smile,
I will always have only the words.

When I think of you
I have the feeling of emptiness,
like a cold winter wind blows in my body.
I feel like my stomach clenches up in knots,
and I can't breathe or speak any more.

When I think you, it hurts so much
because I'm always down,
I'm always hungry.

You feel that you're falling, but
that's just your body rising to the skies.
See the sun shining upon the green fields
let the rain tickle you and
smile with your soul.

I know it hurts,
it does, of course,
after all
there's a war in your soul,
but, I tell you,
it's only your demons falling
the good in yourself is the one with the glory.

It's confusing, your legs are still weak
but slowly you'll forget about crawling
and start walking instead.

It takes time, you know
after living in the dark
it's hard to get used to the light
but you'll see
your eyes will stop hurting
and with the moon they'll shine
in the highest skies.

I know it's scary
and you only want to hide
you feel you're fading
but trust me when I tell you:
*You are not dying,
you're coming back to life.

A train that never leaves the station
a bird with broken wings
an acid rain killing the spring flowers
I am
the clouds covering the full moon,
a funeral
the desert's freezing nights
I am
the thoughts that won't let you sleep at night
the deepest paper cut,
an illness with no cure
I am
the dust covering your lungs
the antagonist in your stories,
the cold wind hurting your bones.

I am the pain that hurts you the most.
I am the pain that loves you the most.

i'd sleep all day and constantly wake from nightmares
within nightmares
within nightmares
somehow couldn't recognise the reality,
lost in a blizzard of loud whispers
in a place filled with cold white coats and sick feelings
and worries painted on people's eyelids.

but now i hear your voice in the back of my eyes
i feel the words you say
i could say so many things
but my tongue is locked
my hands just shake
can't hold any letter
any vowel
the ashes of my words
are blown away from my lips

you're playing the strings of my brain
again and again
such a gentle touch,
a warm feeling that makes me forget
about the whispers and cold and worries.

i listened to your song in my sleep last night
and in a flash
the nightmare morphed into a dream
within a dream
within a dream