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Aug 2 · 88
Misunderstood Words
eliana Aug 2
Love.
How simple that word is except it has been misunderstood; illused,
Media portrays it everywehere.
So much so, it's shoved down our throats.
Some say love is forgive and forget; blood runs thicker.
But what about the one who manipulates, anillates, and isolates this thing.
This little thing called love.
L-O-V-E
it puts the L in "love me just as I am,"
the O in "Over and Over please forgive me,"
V in whispered in the "Very unpredictable challenges that come" and E.
E as in"Every day remind me with those sweet tender nothings. "
We wish for the old timey love but instead we now wish,
for the love where we grow old, and it doesn't matter what time makes us look like.
The love where we don't want to get the phone.
The love where we pursue through the tough times.
Where we don't give up after just one fight.
Or we misuse our words.
Kind of like the word love.
I've heard it gets misused a lot.
Aug 1 · 53
Free Verse
eliana Aug 1
Demons go up to me suddenly talking nonsense,i am like God is this real? He nods and says revelation apocalypse, so i kneel and ask for strength to hold on to the throne because i know when people hear this, demons won't leave me alone.Heaven is my home to me for earth i'm just a guest, i'm suggesting suicide for them they don't know Jesus bled, too much blood shed they fed believers with torment, i use my phone i call my lord not simply because i'm not bored but its because i did my chores, and i'm not a woman of war. It's a spiritual battle they channel me with words,but birds give me strengh and wisdom so i kick them to the curb. Do not disturb me with your deals because my truth is real, you could **** or torture me but my life will be chill,until the day i rise my poetry will be something just like an offering at church. I'm thankful God gave me this blessing.
just felt like writing what was on my mind and something powerful so heres this .
Aug 1 · 25
The Darkness
eliana Aug 1
You would never know it,
The constant pain I feel,
Because in the light of day
It almost isn't real.

Sure, I'll play, I'll laugh,
I'll sing some songs,
But that pain is always lurking
Because it's been here all along.

And when the darkness comes
With its all-consuming power,
It slowly takes my soul
Hour by dreadful hour.

But they tell me that I'm strong enough.
They swear that it gets better.
They say, "If you can just hold out
and bear this stormy weather."

They tell me, "You will be happy one day.
All you need do is fight."
But what they seem to forget
Is after each day comes the night.

And so I act along.
I play my part
While this crushing darkness
Slowly breaks my heart.
Most people tell you it will all be fine and you will be okay, but that doesn't make it better, and that is what this poem is expressing.
Jul 31 · 105
The Death Of A Loved One
eliana Jul 31
When someone you truly love dies you are overcome with all
these strong emotions like rage and guiltiness.But the one that always wins is
sadness.You try so hard not to cry during the day just to go home at night cry
uncontrollably a river of sad filled tears. You think of all the good times you two had
and then you sink in to an elaphant sized depression.Knowing you can never do those
things agin for as long as you live.Every days a struggleit feels as if your dragging
two billion pounds behind you.You struggle every day to keep you head held high
when it feel as if your sinking in to a black whole of undiscovered territory.You feel
so weak almost as if you were carved out of ice. The sadness varies between days.Some
days you feel fine others you feel like some one has reached in your chest and
yanked your heart out and stomped it to the ground.
ive been mourning the death of my grandparents for what feels like a lifetime. just lately its been heavier. idk why i just cant get over it. cant see life without them.
Jul 31 · 138
Why I Write
eliana Jul 31
Why do i write?
To help me through the sleepless nights?
What do i gain?
A way to verbally share the pain.
How does it help?
Gives me a way to express myself.
Poetry gives me a way to share my many thoughts
and the many battles that I've fought.
Why do I write?
Just because it feels so right.
Jul 31 · 51
Love Me Dead
eliana Jul 31
Wouldn't you miss me?
If I dropped dead.
Wouldn't you kiss me?
If this 's all I said.
Jul 31 · 45
rain
eliana Jul 31
Rain is my scattered mind, in pieces on the window
Pane of my life.
As the rain falls, in an array of broken thoughts,
I feel my soulful embodied heart may fracture.
My eyes grow distant in the gaping sullenness of oppression.
Thoughts race randomly down the glass, on a path to desolation.
The heat of the fire within
My body falls away.
The walls of this fragile being break with pain. I say
I love him, I’ll love him forever,
But lonely is my name, with no light around my soul.
Rain-droplet dreams
Of love collect into pools, and a lake of
Sorrow forms, holding tears of my recent past.
Through my pain, I claim love does not exist.
It is a bright sun of hope around which meanders a desperate heart;
The sun that doesn’t shine in this heart of despair.
As the sun sets around it,
Into the night, my love,
Shall perish
Jul 31 · 34
why you?
eliana Jul 31
as each day passes
I sit and wonder why?
why you were taken
without a chance to say goodbye
and as I start thinking
with tears running down my cheeks
I think of life without you and it really makes me weep

I think of the future
and nothing seems that bright nothing is the same without you by my side
all I have is memories and a hole inside my heart
I knew how much I loved you from the very start

I look at the pillow beside me where you use to rest your head
now all I have is a grave to look at instead
I long for you to hold me
tell me everything's ok
I just want so much for this pain to go away

you take life for granted without a thought about the day someone that you truly love is suddenly taken away
Jul 30 · 89
Becoming Tomorrow
eliana Jul 30
You have to be young
to disappear…
and healthy enough
to fall into the cracks
of a new tomorrow

You have to be young
to isolate…
and strong enough
to brave the winter
of a new becoming
Jul 30 · 116
Separation
eliana Jul 30
Why do I feel so separated from life, so separated from myself, my soul?

I feel like I'm alone, yet surrounded.

What is this feeling of sorrow, the feeling of water in my eyes?

Why do I feel so guilty, for living?

I feel as if I'm separating, from everything and one.

In this life, as if there is something wrong.

Because so far, we have all been broken and separated.

Yet I don't want that for us, I want you to stay.

So please stay and, don't separate from me.
Jul 30 · 47
beauty within
eliana Jul 30
I didn’t understand my beauty inside
so I cried such fountains from my eyes
nobody knows about my thoughts
And the scars on my body
from the people who taunt
I could only cope with the relief
With all my surrounding grief
It’s hard to stop once I’d begun
Although it hurts more knowing what I’d done
Nobody understands so they just shout
That makes me feel worthless, about myself with doubt
What will make them listen?
Without a fight
After all it saves me another malicious ****** night
So this poem is ending
I need to find an alternative
From the sharp tools across my skin
And hopefully I will find my beauty within
Jul 30 · 98
Bipolar Disorder
eliana Jul 30
Beginning to realize I'm in deep
Inside my head, I'm so hard to reach
Pushing my emotions in different directions
Obviously so very out of control
Lost in a place that I once called home
Anxiously waiting, constantly debating
Running in circles, not sure what to do
Desperate for relief, afraid what I'll lose
Increasing triggered as each day passes
Sorry for all those around me, after thought
Opening angry for what I've become
Ready to end it and forget what once was
Dreading each morning, dragging myself out
Eager for silence, my mind is so loud
Reaching for release, before I finally succumb to my doubts
eliana Jul 30
Single, stained, steel wall,
It holds me here,
Alone.
Only time seems to crawl,
As the air itself has died.


There is a knock at the door,
I will not answer.
Alone,
Red seeping into the floor,
I silently long to be free.


The door shakes,
I cannot answer.
Alone,
My heart aches,
To be free of this cage.


I hear it now,
The footsteps, the voice.
"Alone",
It whispers, mouth against my brow,
"That is how it always will be".


Someone stands over me, the door wide open.
I cannot do this,
Alone.
Though the door they have broken,
I now might be free.


The world starts to fade,
But I know now I am not
Alone.
The mind I thought was made,
Seems to shatter.


"Please don’t leave me,
I can't live without you,
Alone."
Their words set broken hope free,
But the scythe had claimed my soul
Jul 30 · 43
my wish
eliana Jul 30
Deep within me
I have a wish and
I pray that it may
Someday come true,
I wish every boy I meet
Is just like you,
Handsome,
With every feature
Perfectly shaped and wonderful,
I wish he has your smile
And that twinkle in your eye,
I wish his voice
Is as lovely as yours
When he talks
And pleasing to the eye
When he walks,
I wish he has the power
To make me smile
The way you do
When I look in your eyes,
‘Cause even from a distance
Boy, you make a girl blush,

I wish I could feel
The warmth in your hands,
And see my face reflected
In your lens,
I wish I could come
Closer to your ear
And whisper to you
Words a boy like you
Should hear,
I wish I could take
Long walks in the township,
Hold you by the hand
And answer your every question
I wish every boy I meet
is just like you
I wish every song I hear
Reminds me of you,
****! I wish
You were that song
In my life,

I wish I knew you so well

I wish I did
I wish you were my man.
haha something i rarely write about. Boys. 😅
Jul 30 · 54
Silent Disappearance
eliana Jul 30
Maybe it’s time I disappear,
Maybe then things will become clear.

Nobody cares and I know it well,
Maybe this is my permanent Hell.

I’m done reaching out,
I’m done with the doubt,
All I want to do is scream and shout.

Maybe it’s time to depart,
Maybe it’s time for a fresh start.
Where nobody knows me and I can be free,
Because my mind is on a killing spree.

Killing my confidence and killing my hopes,
Maybe it’s time I hang up some ropes.

I’m tired of feeling like I don’t matter,
Got me feeling crazy like the Mad Hatter.

Maybe it’s time for my body to expire,
But my mind is nothing but gunfire.
Firing at my positive dreams,
Tearing me apart at the seams.

This is it, it’s time to retire,
This is it, I’m going in the fire.

I’m already decaying,
My demons they’re preying.
My soul is paying,
And I’m done praying.

It’s time I disappear,
I’m tired of the tears I shed.
Maybe I’ll give a cheer,
When I’m finally dead.
Jul 30 · 18
Silent Screams
eliana Jul 30
Can't you hear my silent screams?
They are so loud they echo in my dreams.

Behind this face that carries a smile
Lies a dark road that goes on mile after mile.

My silent screams have been going on for years,
But it always falls on so many deaf ears.

How can they hear these silent screams in my mind?
They can't hear my thoughts if I keep telling them I'm fine.

What can I tell them? These silent screams carry no words.
It's just feelings of sadness and darkness that come in its herds.

How can I explain so people understand this?
It's like walking around in a suffocating black mist.

It's holding on to happiness like holding water in your hands.
It just trickles between your fingers and disappears into the sands.

I can't explain how this feels; it's so extreme,
So I hold my mouth shut to cover my silent screams.
trying to tell myself im not the voices in my head but it doesnt always work.
eliana Jul 30
"I'm tired," I say,
"That's all."
And in a way, I guess it's true.
In every other way,
It's a lie.

Tonight you ask me
What depression feels like.
I think, then tell you
That it's sort of like
Slowly clicking up a roller coaster hill,
Waiting and waiting to peak,
But never reaching the top.

You seem confused
But don't ask anything else.
Soon enough you're gossiping about
How that girl we know got pregnant.
You don't understand that
I am still climbing that godforsaken hill.

People call me heartless,
Robotic.
I wonder if they realize
How difficult it is to function
When you're not sure if you even exist.

And here I am,
Dodging your politely, forcefully concerned gaze,
As you ask me what's wrong.
"I'm tired," I say,
"That's all."

I wish I could explain depression to you
Once again and scream about
How I wish I could feel anything.
Do you really want to know what depression is like?
Depression is like having a disinterested corpse
Skillfully stowed in the shell of my body.

"You seem so sad lately.
Can't you at least pretend to care?"
Oh, honey, if you only knew.
You ramble on about this and that,
But I'm no longer listening.
You could dig for centuries
And never strike my dying core.

And THAT, my innocent, naive fool,
Is what depression feels like.
day was alright today, just tryna get by.
Jul 29 · 432
i am different
eliana Jul 29
We may have the same eye's
but I use mine differently

We may have the same heart
but I use mine differently

I'm Different cause I do things differently
I'm different cause I wear things differently

I may stand out differently in many ways
but I love it
and I love being different

I Am Different
People are faced with the fact that they are different and other people don't realize that it's a great thing. So in this poem I'm saying that people should be happy that they are different and they should use the different things in the way that makes them happy.
Jul 29 · 89
It's hard.
eliana Jul 29
It's hard to trust someone who always lied.
It's hard to love someone who made you cry.
It's hard to care when you want to die.
It's hard to believe when you have no pride.
It's hard to forgive when you already tried.
It's hard to be happy when there are tears in my eyes
life.
Jul 29 · 46
Good Enough For Me
eliana Jul 29
Born a self hatin' little girl with a soul so pure
Beautiful and smart-- so young, yet mature
Talented with words, but the world doesn't see
That this is the only way that I know how to be me
Broken and beaten by this world that I despise
I've learned to block it all out, I no longer open my eyes
They've been permanently shut, so now I live through what I feel
But I've cut off all emotions so life's no big deal
I'll be great one day, that's what I tell myself
I'll be great one day without any of their help
I'll be great one day and then they'll see
I'll be great one day-- And good enough for me
The only thing constant in life is change and growth whether positive or negative
Jul 28 · 47
ignorance.
eliana Jul 28
Is anybody out there?
Is anybody listening?
The words from my mouth are silent,
But my tears scream your name.

No one takes notice
Of the pain that I display.
How did I get here
To this dark and lonely place?

I wish someone would pierce the veil.
I wish someone could lead me through.
I want someone to take my hand
And for once see what I'm going through.

I wish someone would find me here
And save me from the pain
I want it to be over soon.
I don't want to stay.

Empty souls around me carry on with their day.
They don't seem to notice the mask that's plastered on my face.
Ignorance is bliss to them, and they turn a blind eye.
Little do they know or care if I make it through the night.

The haunting sounds inside my head keep me from my dreams.
Two conflicting voices make a coward out of me.
Finally someone notices and pulls me into sight.
They cry fake tears regretfully and they tell me to fight.
I tell them I'm done with these silly thoughts and that I'm here to stay.
I tell them not to worry, tomorrow is a new day.

They think my fight is over,
That I've made it out all right.
Little do they know,
The same thoughts still haunt me at night.
Jul 28 · 34
Untitled
eliana Jul 28
( self harm tw ⚠️?)
And suddenly I'm back to where it all started.
Feeling the sharp blade go against my skin.
Like as if I'm cutting paper.
Seeing the red lines form.
Feeling the burning sensation, like a hot stove.

A day later.
The pinkish red scar turning to brown.
Feeling the uneven surface on your skin.

Becoming a barcode.
im sorry i have to relapse.
Jul 28 · 28
Losing Myself
eliana Jul 28
My eyes close.
I'm holding onto
my memories
and hatred.
My slumber
all alone in my head...
so silent.

I can't explain the way
my tears run blood along my veins.
If I let go of my pain,
I'll cease to be, give into the plague...

War is coming,
I can hear it in my heart.
Blood will flow
along the grounds of the innocent.
I can't deceive
the darkness anymore...
I'm letting go, I'm losing control of myself...

you beat me down,
so low and now
I'm crying my soul.
I'm losing control.
You led me to
a place where I
can't feel my face...

Death is just an anesthetic
for what's to come.
A body left behind with no face,
feeling numb.
All alone, I cry here,
fading into nothing.
All alone I lie here
dying...

...losing myself...
i dont wanna be here anymore.
Jul 28 · 77
Untitled
eliana Jul 28
It was until today I realized I've been wrong this whole time.
Doing wrong.
I went to the house of God and I was taught and taught.
I sat there and kneeled and prayed and cried until the floor was
DRENCHED.
My face filled with sorrow,
As IF!! IF!! THERE WERE NO TOMORROW.
I see You Father.
I need you Father.
I want you Father!!!
So i say now, I welcome you into my life, I GIVE you my life.
For God all i need is your love, your care, your warmth, and I worship you.
I do Father.
I.
Do.
Jul 28 · 166
Untitled
eliana Jul 28
Oh baby.
You say words, words you don't understand.
"Why can't you just be happy!" "Just let me be free!"
You say in a silly voice.
If only you knew what reality was like.
That there's rarely rainbows, even on rainy days.
That the sun isn't always shining, and instead is hiding.
That there aren't unicorns flying up and around.
That not everyone is kind.
Oh to be a kid again.
Jul 28 · 108
Untitled
eliana Jul 28
im so done.
so done.
done.
.
Jul 27 · 28
While You Weren't Here
eliana Jul 27
While you weren't here
I cried every night.
A million tears fell,
Still my heart wasn't right.

While you weren't here
I did what I could,
Hoping against hope
My decisions were good.

While you weren't here
I gained some in age.
Things just went on
And life turned a page.

While you weren't here
I just tried to go on,
Knowing what didn't **** me
Would only make me strong.

While you weren't here
A whole lot got changed.
My life became different,
My world rearranged.

While you weren't here
I had to learn to be alone,
To stand on my two feet,
To make my own home.

So that's where I am now,
At this stage of my life,
Still scared and alone,
Still coping with strife.

And oh how I wish that
Things could be different,
That I could go back
To a time in the past,

To a time before
You weren't here.
A poem written about how I was abandoned by an important person in my life. Though the experience has made me a stronger person, I sometimes wish to go back to the time when this person was in my life. Maybe soon maybe in a long time. all i know is that im trying to hope!
eliana Jul 27
A family is like a circle.
The connection never ends,
and even if at times it breaks,
in time it always mends.

A family is like the stars.
Somehow they're always there.
Families are those who help,
who support and always care.

A family is like a book.
The ending's never clear,
but through the pages of the book,
their love is always near.

A family is many things.
With endless words that show
who they are and what they do
and how they teach you so you know.

But don't be weary if it's broken
or if through time it's been so worn.
Families are like that -
they're split up and always torn.

But even if this happens,
your family will always be.
They help define just who you are
and will be a part of you eternally.
I went out for school shopping with my siblings and mom and i had a great day. we laughed and talked and it just felt good and i hadnt felt like such happiness like that in a while. theres a lot of stuff we go through and are going through but in the end i can always count on them and know there are brighter days ahead. :)
Jul 27 · 39
Dominate The Day
eliana Jul 27
Dark forests are filled with birds and trees
Sun shines through the clouds with ease
There might be darkness, but the light won't cease
To dominate the day.

Without the dark, there would be no light
With the day also comes the night
To be brave you must first experience fright
And remember that there is always a way.

You can't have happiness without the pain
The rainbow comes after the rain
It's never too late to switch lanes
Ask yourself - where does your heart lay?

You can't find something without it being lost
Beautiful things come at the highest cost
Before the sunny weather comes the frost
Work goes first, then play.

Trouble surrounds the eye of the storm
Somewhere it's cold, somewhere it's warm
Great occasions come in all different forms
What do your instincts say?

You might think you're alone, but you are not
We've all been through our own battles fought
Your greatest enemy and best friend are your thoughts
Know that you will be okay

The most beautiful eyes shine with the most tears
The most courageous heroes have faced the most fears
The ones who haven't given up have come very near
But they've all still managed
But you have still managed
But we have all still managed
To dominate the day.
(draft) My poem is to remind people that even when everything seems dark and hopeless, you can move on because though you might not see it at first, the light is always there.
Jul 23 · 100
I Will Rise
eliana Jul 23
I will rise
After every fall.
I will rise
And stand tall.

I will rise
Over the wall.
I will rise
Above them all.

Like the sun,
Which never dies.
Though sets every night,
Every day it does rise.

Like the ocean
Whose tides
Many times they are down,
But invariably they rise.

Like the trees,
From seeds they arise,
And heights great
They rise and rise.

After falling once,
Twice and thrice,
Again and again
I will rise and rise.

I will rise
After every fall.
After every fall
I will rise.
Jul 22 · 75
Music
eliana Jul 22
Music comes in many different ways.
It has a way of healing. The magic
it holds to change a person is
unbelievable. Music soothes
the soul                 but it also
can bring            many other
emotions                   as well.
It can                     take you
to another                          world.
Every song is               different, with
each its own          stories, relationships,
feelings                                    and
i made a concrete poem in 4th grade as well, we were doing poetry in class and made a variety of poems and types so heres this as well. (its supposed to look like a music note i promise it looks better on paper 😂)
Jul 22 · 90
Grief
eliana Jul 22
The feelings that come up when we lose someone are
numb
disbelief, shock,
All of this is normal.
The reaction to death happens in zigzag ways
surprising us with levels of intensity
for a longer period than we thought possible
we have to trust that all that is happening is part of the healing
Mourning is a signature experience, unique to each person-- and at each loss-- in form, duration, and impact.
We may experience tears
Feel sadness that someone is gone
Angry that he or she was taken from us.
We are afraid of the emptiness we will feel now.
i did a blackout poem for school in  4th grade and i found it and i wanted to share it.  everyone thought i was so deep when i wrote it and called it dark and blah blah but i was just way ahead of them lol, anyways hope u enjoy
Jul 21 · 38
If Only It Were Me
eliana Jul 21
The wind blows
The sun shines
The grass grows
The air smells of pines
If only it were mine -
The halls are loud
The building is cold
The people walk proud
The kids are bold
If only it were me -
The days are long
The week is hard
The answer was wrong
The kids put up their guard
If only it wasn't me -
I want to be open
I want to be happy
I hate being broken
I hate acting sadly
The walls, they glare at me
The words jump off the pages
The stares get heavy
The building is a cage
Trapping me
Trapping us
Holding us here as if they're scared we'll leave
If only people could understand me
Then maybe, just maybe
The days wouldn't be so lengthy
So hard
So scary
So difficult
Because that is me -
Something I don't want to be
Jul 21 · 652
The End
eliana Jul 21
From lots of laughter, splashing and playing, and sharing memories
to it
coming to an end.
I just came back from my bsfs party. i had so much fun ,I feel sad now that it ended :(. Most likely wont see my whole friend group until school starts and I honestly feel like crying bc of it. (ik it sounds dumb)
Jul 20 · 99
Untitled
eliana Jul 20
my stomach,
it twists and it turns.
Should I go or should I stay?
These thoughts surround my head,
Scared of what lies ahead.
What could go wrong?
I'm not sure that I belong.
Oh silly me, just be free!
For this is your only chance to feel alive again.
Ive been really nervous as im supposed to be going out in just a few hours and my anxiety is off the charts lol but, I feel happy and face my fears i guess. Who knew social anxiety was so scary in the moment!!
Jul 20 · 116
Time To Stop Struggling
eliana Jul 20
Life is unfair; sometimes the misery we can't bear.
This was a feeling I could never share.
I am strong, strong enough to move on from this pain.
I won't feel the shame; my life is not a game.
Tired of these tears and my fears,
I will cherish my inspirations.
I will find my dream, I promise; that's what I will achieve.
I will find a way to leave.
I'm not who you will deceive.
I believe in miracles; these people laugh like it's hysterical.
I won't fall; I may be lost, but I will be found.
One day I will find the perfect life; life will run beautifully,
I will fly like a butterfly through the night, will have a pleasant sight.
Afraid but I will fight.
No boundaries, free my mind of all the pressure.
Leaving here will be my pleasure.
I want so much to be free; so much I want to see.
I want to reach the sky; I want so badly to fly.
See, I used to be a fool when I let you treat me cruel.
I made a mistake, but I won't let myself break.
Leave me, for God's sake.
So now I kneel down to pray.
For these times of struggle I will just say,
I'll leave in your hands, God. I will let go.
In a very good mood today. Sun is shining, birds are chirping, everyone is out. It's time to make a shift everyone. We need to shift. Turn to him and devote your LIFE to him!!!
Jul 20 · 28
Untitled
eliana Jul 20
I'd like to think myself as normal,
Just an ordinary girl.
But I'm not into butterflies,
I don't do ballet twirls.

I hate wearing make-up,
No eye shadow or blush.
I don't have time in a morning,
As I'm always in a rush.

I don't wear fancy underwear,
Especially not a thong.
For all the girls who do out there,
I think it's kind of wrong.

I don't spend hours on the phone,
Just simply chatting away.
I only need to take five minutes
On my hair every day.

My room is not spotless,
My room is not a tip.
I don't put powder on my nose,
I don't give teachers lip.

I don't go after every boy,
That I come across.
I don't think I'm better than everyone,
Don't think that I'm the boss.

I don't walk with my *******,
Held high up in the air.
I don't try to shake my bottom,
Or twirl and flick my hair.

I just want to get through,
These taunting years of school.
I don't care what you think of me,
I don't care if I'm not 'cool.'

And I do have a good time,
A laugh with all my friends.
I balance it with learning.
This is my beginning, not my end.
idk i might delete this. (the hair line isnt true it just rhymed lol, i take forever 😆)
Jul 20 · 156
Does God Listen?
eliana Jul 20
Does God listen when we pray?
Or when we speak does He turn away?

When life is tough, is it His doing?
Is He putting us through a test to reveal our loyalness?

Lost in this world with no guidance.
I need help, where can I find it?

My faith is strong, though sometimes rough..
I pray to God, but is it enough?

I know I stray away at times.
But I beg for forgiveness, of this heart of mine.

Sometimes I wonder, why is it me?
When I am going through tragedy.

But then I remember, all He's done.
Even sacrificed his only begotten Son.

No matter what I go through,
I know He's with me, every step of the way.

I thank you God, for all you do.
Even when my heart strays from You.

My heart is yours, forever more
Till the day I'm at your door.
Everone goes through tough times. There have been times where I question God during those times, as I feel He isn't here but I realized what He does for me and all He has sacrificed. Even when my heart strays and I sin, or when things aren't going my way, I will always love God, and He will always love me.
Jul 20 · 192
A Day Away
eliana Jul 20
Some feelings are shallow, some feelings are deep.
Some make us smile, some make us weep.

Some we love, some we don't.
Some we'll savor, some we won't.

Some grounding, some uplifting,
Some long-lasting, some constantly shifting.

No matter what feelings I'm feeling today,
I know tomorrow is only a day away.
A great tragedy occurs when the bad days numb us to the good ones. Try to enjoy the good days, because they don't last that long. Try not to fear the bad days, because they won't last that long. Whether time is currently your friend or foe, however it can help you today, remember today won't last that long.
Jul 19 · 205
You Could Have Give Up
eliana Jul 19
You could have given up,
but you kept on going.
You could have seen obstacles,
but you called them adventures.
You could have called them weeds,
but instead you called them wildflowers.
You could have died a caterpillar,
but you fought on to be a butterfly.
You could have denied yourself goodness,
but instead you chose to show
yourself self-love. You could have defined
yourself by the dark days, but instead
through them you realised your light.
im proud of you
Jul 19 · 90
Stress Is A Killer
eliana Jul 19
Stress is feeding on me,
******* out my soul.
I feel my body weakening,
it refuses to let go.

I'm going kind of pale,
blood is dripping down my arm.
Tears are falling from my eyes;
a pain pierces my heart.

I'm confused
and don't know what to do.
I want to end it all,
but you don't want me to.

Living life is fine,
but stress makes it tough.
Your smile used to make me happy;
now that's not enough.

Stress is killing me,
putting me to rest.
But I'll try not to leave you,
I'll try my very best.
Jul 19 · 35
Running From Me
eliana Jul 19
Painfully aware of all my peers
The pain, the pressure creates real fears

Trying to escape so many eyes and ears
Overthinking so much, my mind is seared

Afraid of the judgment, so my voice has no sound
Dodging harsh eyes, so MY eyes find the ground

This lingering emotion, I cannot define
They say mind over matter, but I say matter over mind

I'm running from something; I jump into my dream
In that happy place, I can be exactly what I seem

I finally understand what this emotion must mean
Because I figured out what I'm running from...

I'm running from me
Jul 19 · 67
Trials Of Life
eliana Jul 19
It's only through mistakes we make
We learn where we went wrong.
It's only when we're far from home
We realize where we belong.

It's only when we close our eyes
Our dreams seem clear and bright.
It's only in our darkest hours
We truly see the light.

It's only when we lose our way
We pray to the stars above.
It's only through times of grief
We learn the true meaning of love.

It's only when all hope seems lost
And our weary journey seems so far,
When all the world's against you,
We learn how strong we really are.

All things are sent to try us.
We must strive and give our best.
I believe God is watching over us,
And he guides us in our que​st.
Like a teacher, I believe God sets us many tests in life to prove how strong we really are. We wonder where he is when times are tough, but as we know, a teacher always stays quiet during a test.
eliana Jul 19
Look into my eyes
and tell me what you see.
Do you see a reckless girl
or someone depressed at 13?

Do you dare see the tears
that spread across my skin?
Do you see all my losses
or the very few I win?

If you dare to touch my hand,
will you feel my softness
or will you feel the calluses
from burns and feeling-less?

Do you see unflawed youth,
or do you see a broken child?
Do you see all my pain,
or do you see me just as wild?

Can you tell I'm screaming
out for help I need?
Or am I just the silence of
the whistling wind without heed?

Look into these eyes
and peer into my soul.
Tell me, what do you see?
Am I broken or am I whole?
Jul 19 · 121
whats next?
eliana Jul 19
I lie awake tonight,
Wishing of things I can change.
I try to convince myself,
But it's all so strange.

Is it me,
Or is it you?
Do I try,
Or are we through?

So long we've shared
Just to walk away.
But so much hurt
To want to stay.

Why do we do this,
Try to hurt the other more,
Only to watch one
Walk right out the door?

I love you so much,
Yet I push you to the point of breaking,
But why do you play with my heart
And never stop taking?

Is this the end
Or a new beginning?
Only one can guide me
When my head is spinning.

Don't push,
Don't try,
Don't stress,
Don't cry.

That is what plays
Over in my head
As I try to close my eyes
And just go to bed.
draft
eliana Jul 18
Have you ever held in pain to the point where it seemed like you didn't care?
You could've sworn you were crying,
But when you went to wipe tears away there was nothing there?
Going through life empty,
Just letting the world pass you by.
Numb to any feelings,
Just wishing you could die.
I feel like this daily.
So lost I don't know what to feel.
When in fact I do feel pain, I can't believe that it's real.
So as I lay my head down tonight,
I close my eyes and pray.
I pray that God will give me guidance and to maybe feel someday.
This is dedicated to all the  people struggling to feel something other than emptiness or pain
Jul 18 · 62
Tears
eliana Jul 18
I come when pain
Becomes too much to take.
I come when you're sad,
Or your heart starts to break.

I might come when you panic,
I might come when you're mad.
I'll show up here and there,
When enough is what you've had.

I'm salty and warm,
I might be big or small.
Sometimes when you're strong,
I don't come up at all.

I fill your eyes with moisture,
I roll down your cheek.
Sometimes I mean joyous,
Sometimes I mean weak.

Sometimes when you're scared,
I come as a sign of fear.
You can feel when I'm coming,
Whether far or near.

I may come along
When you hear your favorite song.
Sometimes I show up
When you've been strong for too long.

I know you want to fly away.
I know inside you're a mess.
You long for a brighter day.
Tears are words the heart can't express.
i wrote this after crying. :)
Jul 18 · 303
battle scars 2
eliana Jul 18
Be brave.
You already are.
Look at what you've made it through.
The wounds of your past have healed.
The seemingly endless chapter has ended,
And those bruises have faded.
The battle, you survived,
And you are still here.
Be brave.
this poem  is about my battle scars. I hope it gives the people who have cut or are still cutting inspiration
Jul 18 · 41
Mt. Take Heart
eliana Jul 18
Often we can't see
The beauty in the pain.
Often we can't see
The treasure we gain.

Often we can't see
Pain has an ending.
Often others can't see
Our hearts are breaking.

Often we just see
The mountain of blame.
Often it's a journey
Full of lies and shame.

Take heart, dear little one.
The scars will heal in time.
I know it weighs a ton,
But you'll be fine.

Listen, my love.
The mountain is strenuous.
There comes hope from above;
Take heart and be courageous.
We have all been through tough times: break-ups, fights, deaths, etc. It hurts too bad or it envelopes the mind... but take heart and hope for better days. Your mountain of inflictions will soon pass.
eliana Jul 17
Friends are far, friends are near.
Friends will be there to lend an ear.
They listen, laugh, and care,
But most of all, they're always there.

Through thick and thin, up and down,
Your true friends are always around.
For treats, hugs, and real big smiles,
They'll travel to you from several miles.

They'll always be there to hold you tight.
Anytime, no matter if it's day or night.
You really know when your friends are sincere
When they always show up to lend their ear.
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