I do not write because my poems are good
Nor do  write to truly feel
I merely write because I have worth
In these words that are so real

I don’t consider myself a great writer
And I don’t write as a simple pass time
I write because I define myself
In every syllable and every rhyme

I write because I live in words
And breathe in each sentence
And honestly it brings me peace
To write of my repentance

I think that pain is easier to speak of
When I don’t have to use actual words
And people listen a lot better
And my statements don’t go unheard.

Writing my only escape
From the sadness I always dwell
And writing my happiness
The only way to reverse this spell.

I write because its right
I do it because I know I was meant to
I write so my brokenness isn't forgotten
I truthfully write for you.

A long time ago
In a land far away
There was a young girl
Whose life changed one day
For once upon a time
in the little house where she once lived
an evil came upon them
one that couldn't be forgived
through a little door
lied a happiness that couldn't be compared
but was it true?
or where her senses impaired?
a better home and nicer parents
would you sew buttons to your eyes?
stay with this new family?
even if all they say are lies?

I wish i was a doctor
To have you surgically removed
I'd stitch it up quite nicely
I shan't be bleeding
Nor will I be bruised
If i must
I'll do it limb by limb
I don't care if you don't make it
I'll i need is you off my body
I think you're a disease
Threatening to choke
I'm dying on my knees

The day i let my smile falter
The day my tears never seemed to end
The day i felt so **** alone
The day i felt i had no friend
The day i lost my confidence
The day i finally became aware
The day i learned i am no one
The day i learned why no one cares*





                      That was the day I began hating myself.

If i could end it all today i would
If I knew no one would notice
I'd keep cutting if he hadn't found me out
If you knew no one would care,

                              would you keep breathing?

If you heard the whispers
And could feel the stares
And the insults... seem to choke all hope
If you were told no one would care,

                               would you keep breathing?

If it were a choice
Between your life and his happiness
What would choose
If your death was his peace,

                               would you keep breathing?

If death were your own escape
From the demons who follow
If life was torture
And death was freedom,

                             would you keep breathing?

If not breathing was an option
A simple road to choose
I'd take it..... but......
If i was gone,

                            would *you keep breathing?

My voice is raw
My heart in tatters

                     Yet when I'm hurting
                      It never matters
                                                      
  ­                                               I guess i struck out
                                                 No more useless batters

Mother?
More like child

                     She "raised us well"
                     But we're still wild

                                                 We're not normal
                                                 We aren't mild

She blames me
But, nothing I've done

                    I'm just a ***** up
                    I've never won

                                               Lord please once
                                               Let me be the favored one

This is to all of you who feel worthless
Who find comfort in the words that sting
Im writing this cause I'm the same
I no longer feel worth anything

This is to those who smile
When their world is crashing down
To those of you who laugh it off
When at night it's in your own tears you drown

Today i want you to stand firm
And raise your head up to the sky
For today it may be raining like your tears
But now the heavens, with you, they cry.

It may seem that you are nothing
You may feel as if you're alone
But i promise if as raise our heads together
We will never be on our own.

Even if you cry at night
Cause no one else can see
I have down that for years now
You're the same as me

I'm taking this moment to say this
In case you've never heard it before
You're worth everything to someone
So don't give up, you're so much more.

I've been writing in different styles
Trying to find something new
Yet it seems that all the good ones
Are mainly about you


Joshua if you're reading this
I just wanted to let you know
I could live a million eternities
And still never let you go
Because when i say i love you
It's not just for fun
I didn't think that i could love
But yet.. you're the one
The one who gave me hope
The one who loves me through my flaws
And now everyone knows
See the standing ovation? Hear the applauds?
This is not some crush
And you are not some guy
I know it's way too soon
But this life is for you and i

And for everyone reading this
Please share your words
And tell the ones you love
The things they've never heard

I love you

I found a pair of glasses
Just the other day
And when i put them on
I saw the world in a different way
The colors all seemed brighter
Edges seemed sharper
And when i closed my eyes
The darkness.. seemed darker
I find myself liking
The way i look
With my glasses that i found
Does this make me a crook
I didnt steal them
I gave them a betrer home
On my face
Neither of us will ever be alone

I fear goodbyes
because what if they're the end
You'll go from my lover
Back to a simple friend
Oh how i hate to say it
To leave that word on my lips
Please stop me
Stop my words with a kiss
I beg you
Let this be deferred
Please wait a while
That is what's preferred
I wont say it
That word that haunts
Goodbye
I refuse to leave you
It's always been you and I
Please dont make me go
I promise ill behave
Dont say that word
And promise that youll stay

we locked eyes
I was caught staring
I couldn't help myself
not with what youre wearing
every hair
in its own place
yes, walk my way
and remove the space
kiss me
hold me close
every passing second
my attraction only grows.
I want you
I have an overwhelming desire
I guess you may be
my death by fire.

Let us play a game of chance
You can start the game
It begins with a leap, not a step
But first tell us your name

jump

A hand of chance
That's all this is
A silly game of dares
Maybe a friendly quiz

jump

Now step right up
And don't be shy
I promise we won't bite
Here's a secret (i lie)

JUMP

Lets take a walk
A scenic view
And have a chat
To get to know you

JUMP

This cliff was here
I thought he knew
But he just slipped
Yes officer, his eyes were blue

JUMP

That was the game
The game of chance
And with you gone
I will now advance.

i prided myself in the thought
that i was the one who played
i had you at my beck and call
and for some reason... you stayed

back then i wouldve left you
back then i tried not to care
but now i see i need you
i breathe you in like the air

and now its you who plays
it is you who has me addicted
but all that time i thought i was playing
this strange turn of events not predicted

see now i do what i must
to get your desired time
but now i feel the moments i steal
are truly a terrible crime

i need you like the air i breathe
i need you like the sun
rather than me playing you
i think that youre the one.

so love me kiss me hold me miss me
each moment youre away
and when we hold each other close
pinky promise that youll stay.

As slowly as the day turns to night,
i know that falling slowly for you was right.
Because little do you know that it's always been you. The one and only.. i want to remain true to..
as quickly as the rivers rage,
and as quickly as I turn each new page
in our story were still writing,
i know that in time we will see the silver lining
and see that all this time we've waited
was worth each moment anticipated..
because i know my love for you is real
and i will never lose that zeal.
As each hour passes and each day goes by.
I find new reasons to love you
and things that make me dread goodbye.
So never make me say that, don't ever make me go... cause then we would never have forever and always... we would never know..
what the future holds and dreams to share..

never forget.  I love you and i care.

the day we met I knew
she was the girl to hate
she was cute and she was funny
and made me look less great

she was short and charming
she was utterly cool
that was when I decided
to hate the new girl at school

I know it sounds silly
to judge a book by its cover
but I couldn't just be one upped
by this girl I just discovered

so it was then when I gained an enemy
the girl I didn't like
and yet I ran out of reasons
and never wanted to fight

then one day that girl and I
somehow got paired up in class
we got to talking
and that time went so fast

im still not sure how it happened
but the girl I decided to hate
became my best friend
and im certain it was fate

and now she and I are inseparable
I cannot live without her face
she makes me laugh instead of cry
it was obviously God's grace

miss Roberts is what ill call her here
miss Roberts she will remain
she is my best friend
and I will never forget her name.

little does that girl know
she has saved my life
I was so close to giving up
and she gave me a reason to fight

I love her to the death of me
I love her to the end
im thankful for her everyday
im so glad she's my best friend.

Do you believe in
                                 magic?
Do you still live a lie?
Is this your idea of a
                                     fairytale?
Do you believe in
                                you
                                        and
                                                 I?

Magic
                    carpets
                                   and
                                            pixies

                 Powerful
                                        lamps
                                                    and
                                                             pixie
                                                                         dust
            You're living a life of
                                                    imagination
And its you I'm supposed to trust?

                                                                                      I see no reason to hope
                                                                                             for a happy ending
                                                                                                   cause all I see is
                                                                           their looks
                                                                                              so
                                                                                                   condescending.

                                                 is it that hard
                                       to really just know the truth
                                             and grow up a little
                                       and stop living in your youth

its hard for me to make you
                                                     choose
but its me or
                        your dreams
would you rather have that
                                                  happy ending
and let this
                                       *fall apart at the seams?

I'm in the mood for cuddling
For holding hands and kissing
It seems that all this time
It was your touch i was missing

I'd ask you to hold me
But i know where that will lead
I'll fall for you once again
And you will become a need

Needing you and wanting you
Has brought me so much shame
I've avoided truth and simpleness
I refuse to play this game

Throwing out i love you's
As if you care for me
I accept it every time
Hoping you might see

i love you's
They are my heart and soul
Holding hands and kissing you
Somehow THAT makes me whole

There is an ache in my chest
There is a hollowness in me
Waiting to be filled
Hoping someone might see

I knew a girl once
She seemed to have it all right
She smiled and she laughed
She shined an innocent light

Then life stained her soul
Life broke her heart
No one seems to notice
She had already fallen apart

She hides behind a tentative smile
She covers all the pain
Little do you know
She cries like the rain

She doesn't show her feelings
She says she's okay
She laughs to show you
She's forgotten yesterday

Yet yesterday tears her down
She cannot shake the sorrow
She can only hope for something better
She hopes for a better tomorrow

That girl i know
Yes, she is me
I hide behind fake smiles
So no one else can see

My life is falling apart
It's coming apart at the seams
But I'll manage withoutyou
Cause I've shattered my own dreams.

love me softly
love me sweetly
love me more
the longer you keep me

kiss me slowly
kiss me gently
cause all I know
is we were meant to be

hold me closer
hold me near
hold me dearly
whisper in my ear

tell me you love me
tell me you'll stay
tell me we'll last longer
than a simple yesterday.

Sadly I'm good at faking it
Yes all the times we kissed
I giggled and I blushed
And you continued to persist

You kissed my cheek
My lips, my neck
I cried for sympathy
But I'm no train wreck

You held my hand
You held me close
I didn’t mean to lie
But truth never shows

I faked every moment
I'm not sorry that I lied
Cause in the end I fell for you
And I'm the one that cried.

I wished at 11:11 last night
but I don't think it's fair
I wished for your hand in mine
but it was never there

I saw a shooting star last night
but I doubt my wish came true
I wished for the impossible
I wished to be loved by you.

Its okay to hide in the shadows
its okay to stay in the dark
slowly filtering out the liars
the ones who broke your heart.

There is no way to know
how far you've really made it
until you see the path
you yourself have created.

I've learned to trust myself,
I've learned to hide the pain.
It's not shocking to find,
life is really a game.

So smile like you mean it,
Or someone may find out,
you're not so confident.
Just like me, you're completely full of doubt.

The moment I saw you
Was the moment that I fell
There is nothing out there
That could ever break this spell

There is no special healing
For I have the incurable disease
Nothing could keep me from you
Not mountains, valleys, or seas.

I cannot forget the day we met
I cannot forget that feeling
That my world was turned upside down
Everything about you, so utterly appealing.

Little do you know that I,
I lose my mind over you
I lost my heart and all I stood for
When you showed up out of the blue.

You see, that day we met
I was in love with someone
But you stole my heart away
Without trying to, you won.

I put my headphones on
To drown out their
                                  screaming
Just close your eyes
                                   till the break of dawn
And then it will be over.

Last through the night
Just shut off all emotion
You'll live through the fight
Just don’t hear the
                                                                ­  constant
                                                    ­                                 commotion.

Avoid the thought of pain
And think not of the
                                     bite of their words
Outside there's pouring rain
And their voices
                             fade into nothing

D
   r
     I
       p
         p
           I
             n
               g
                  ,
                   dropping of the words

Thinking they alone are up
That nothing will be heard.
But not a single thing
                                      blurred.

I may learn to ignore
All the things they say
like my father
                         has a *****
And I may know her name.

The constant thought
                                      has gripped my mind
What if there's divorce
Think of all I'll leave behind
If I have to choose who
                                                        **I

                                                               love


                                                              ­              more

your love is like the ocean
as beautiful as the sea
it beckons and it calls
always speaking to me

the tide will draw you in
it takes you to the depths
it makes you lose your footing
just as you make me lose my breath

missing you tears at my heart
it makes me long to be found
I feel alone and helpless
almost as if I'll drown

the calmness is your charm
it comforts and it soothes
the wind is your heart
fickle, rippling the water as it moves

the waters sweet, sweet noise
is like the song you wrote
every
         crashing
                         falling wave
is a single note