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824 · Dec 2015
stop breathing
aviisevil Dec 2015
there's something out there
in the air that isn't ours
we can drive ourselves mad
reason about it for hours


you cannot see the evil
more transparent than glass
and you wonder about questions
questions that were never asked



but it wasn't meant to be
that's how the story goes
you can dream about it
but nobody really knows


dust will consume the fire
water will cut the stone
dark shall swallow the light
and rust will eat the bones



it's just something in the air
withering everything in its path
you can see it everywhere
no-one is ever meant to last


a skeleton shall dance naked
wearing his skin bare
rejoicing a mother's burial
with children those don't care



all there is and will be
shall be left behind in a while
there is something in the air
that is rotten and vile


there's something in the air
it is out there as I speak
and nothing can save you
if you do not stop to breathe





**stop breathing
818 · Jan 2014
Emptiness made a friend
aviisevil Jan 2014
He sits there all day waiting ,eyes are old and face scarred
At the same corner everyday , for that ***** pavement he's a part
camouflaged in the chaotic noise , he tries to catch an eye
In a deep un-settling voice , he tries to woo the passer-by
But there is none who has time for his shouts and rants
Too busy walking-on , maybe a sorry with their hands
I wonder whats his story , its hard to believe but once he was a young man
What led him here , to the ***** pavement of this god-forsaken land
What choices did he make , what consequences he suffered
Which path did he choose , on what step he fluttered
Sometimes i can see him whispering but i can't hear what he utters
Smiling to his pet bird and stroking the tender feathers
Talking to self , theres no one else to share his pain
So alone and lost i wonder if he even remembers his name
He looks weak but I can see he was once strong
He has an old photograph where he sits and he's not alone
Maybe he searches for those faces , the ones gone
I wonder who were they , freinds or family
Or just some old relations that have now out-grown
Maybe some travellers passing-by , the ones he had never known
He walks away sometimes but i never did care to see where-to
He walks away with pride and out of my view
And one day he walked away to never return
I waited and hoped that one day he would turn
So i can tell him , what he was looking for he got in the end
That he was not alone , his emptiness made a friend
aviisevil Jun 2022
6/6/2022

to you, from the slopes of Shivalik





Nestled between two hills flows the river Tawi



"you should see my city in autumn," i say to an old friend in his new apartment in Gurgaon.

In the bastion of the mighty Dogras, nestled between two hills flows the river Tawi - daughter of the sun

and there i was, standing on the old bridge overlooking Bagh-e-Bahu, "you should see the great Tawi during heavy rains, you should see her might when no one is looking"

the very might, of a son, that saved the king of the serpents, and in return the father crowned him the lord of the virtuous slopes of Shivalik

"she flows here from kailash kund," i tell him with a smile, "to the land of my father, of his brother, and his sister"

the land where the maharaja once saw a beast and his prey - bowing together, quenching their thirst in the month of June; free from shackles

"you should come on a sunday, and have some Rajma," as we take out the foreign bread from a local joint.

"maybe we can have some khatta meat too, if you decide to stay," i say to him as i take another bite.

for long have our forefathers told us to take pride in the soil of our birth.

they know of the threads that bind us to the place that has come before us.

some escape, some never come back, and some carry with them, always, the colour of their soil.

before i left, i too, stood on the old bridge - on my way to the old city; bowing to the Goddess at Bawe, as she looked on, ever present -- in the land of the Dogras, in her ever lasting abode.

"you should come see my city in December," i say to him as i take a last bite.

Nestled between two hills flows the river Tawi - daughter of the sun, nourishing land of the Dogras




@writeweird
814 · Jan 2014
But come soon
aviisevil Jan 2014
Propel me in the direction of faith
For i find it hard to believe
Come soon , don't be late
Only for the time being i can be reached
Then the gates will be closed
the key will be lost to the reasons
Winds will blow again
And soon there'll be a different season
I'll mellow down to rubble
For i have no where to be
Absorbed in the hollow walls
Where no one can see me
Hidden away in-front of you
But my colours never show
I know you look for me
You'll find me , i know
But come soon , before i change
Colours are changing , i feel strange
I can see it in my eyes
I'm forgetting your name
How long can i hold myself
how long can you hold-on
Scars never cared for what I've felt
Without you , how can i go-on
Your hands will miss the embrace
My eyes will always look for your face
I know roads aren't infinite
But i know there'll always be a different day
A different morning will miss you , plead you to stay
Every-night will haunt me , beg me to stay away
Our hearts will collide in confusion
Memories lying on the ground in union
Dreams washed of all that haunts
Wishes and prayers full of wants
It pains and it makes me cold
Your touch , i never want to let go
In your arms , i want to get old
My life-you , as it unfolds
And complete me every moment
Serenity of a peaceful heart
A longing that can never be desired
Song of age that will last
Heads down , searching for the skies
Remembering how we once used to fly
Beyond the grey clouds and the horizon
Into the quite night without a good-bye
Made into shadows , a shade too dark
Land on rocks , crude and sharp
Hurt ourselves and bleed disguise
But we never were really wise
Naive , but pure
Now we'll never be that sure
You'll never be the same again
Maybe we'll never know again
My emptiness will forever remind
I'll never find you again
But come soon , I'll wait
For i never want to lose you again.
aviisevil Sep 2016
In today's society we do not get sad because we are sad, but because we were expected to be sad. It's ingrained in our minds. What's good and what's bad. Think about it, we get sad when we think we're on the bad part of the society ( normal people like me obviously, everyone better than me stay out of this please. Your superiority complex hasn't subdued yet or maybe it can't because it's genetic and in that case I am sorry. No Matter how insensitive I've appeared because I just don't care... And also it has a very rock-n-roll-hey-i'm-an-******* vibe to it) and get happy when it's vice-versa. So, is happiness and sadness a human creation ? I don't mean in a biological sense ( philosophy, bro ? ), I mean more as a modern day concept. Why are we sad ?, Relationships, cosmetic issues ?, Jobless, underpaid, couldn't get the new iPhone ( **** those seriously). Most of us are just being sad because everyone before us were sad, on things that don't matter, on things that makes no sense when you look at the stars at night and see how big the universe is, or unless someone points out its not realistic, we need to be realistic ? Realistic all the danm time ? That's not human, human is to dream and imagine and create. Sadness is beautiful too, that's why great poets were born. But the fact is, sadness today is sold and bought, given names and even made fun of.. today sadness is as superficial as happiness. It is, it really is. There's no worth to our sadness, it means nothing. It's in our head because someone put it there. It's not natural anymore that's all I'm saying and it kinda bugs me. Have a nice day. It's okay to be sad if you are a man. Yolo.
807 · Mar 2016
december in my soul
aviisevil Mar 2016
Whispering
away
the inadequacy
of life
The moral dilemma
of
being never found
Hiding in the comfort
of
every sunrise
Only to find winter falling all around


Making
idols
  from the pouring weather
Thirsty of warmth
rotting in a coffin
Words dying between folds of a letter
Staring in a mirror that is laughing





I see a man without a voice
His eyes as black as coal
I hear the silence in his noise
with
december in my soul



empty
chair
  is rusting by itself
on a fine day to
live and die
in a far corner which no one can tell
there's no standing for a final goodbye




porcupine
skeleton
  hangs in the closet
breathing fumes of a house burning down
dead babies murmur in a cradle of filth
afraid of the clown dancing round





the sky has been lit
on fire
and i sit alone watching the sun fade
strangers chant by the
pyre
consuming the idols science made




i see the time turning
old
the fear shall devour me whole
i ******* eyes burning cold
with
december in my soul
that fades in me and eats my heart
i am left with nothing to feed my pain
memories pierce like broken
shards
and here i bleed now once again
take away my name
and my lies
Leave me with my shadow in tears
i'm the duckling who couldn't fly
a stranger no matter what i
wear
weeping
autumn's
melancholic
colour
painting my window in a gloomy hue
where
i still sing to the face in the mirror
oh god
i remember a sky so blue


I remember


Watching the rain fall


I remember it all


There was so much more


No stained walls



No windows hiding in the dark


only people with no face



To have never left that old place



where december rained on my soul



found me whole


lost me whole
804 · Jan 2014
For we need the devil
aviisevil Jan 2014
A world without saints
Can you imagine
Deprived of angels
No darkness in the dungeon
Walk around in shine
Don't you miss the wise
No more strings to bind
We're free of disguise
No more wars and blood-shed
Just the boring old lore
Knights armour rusts
Nothing to fight for
No one to abuse against
What will they teach
The pages are empty now
Statues won't preach
No more good-men
Sunshine all they see
All are god-men
Forever they shall be
No path of destruction
Hell fury never unleashed
Wrath of instructions
Their thoughts on a leash
No more darkness and sin
Where shall we bury the creed
No one to question him
No one to sow that seed
We'll never taste the bitter fruit
Nothing to decide ones worth
No stone will ever be crude
No more pearls hidden in the dirt
Life will go-on without a pause
No more challenges and trials
There's no effect without a cause
Everyone shall believe the liar
without the sacred equilibrium
World will collapse  
For we need the devil
To set us a trap
aviisevil Feb 2017
angry man wearing a denim blouse,
such a beautiful way to shut down your mouth.

nothing much to say, there's no one left to shout,
I'd like for you to stay unless you want to **** the mouse.

the bodies are kept warm sleeping in the oven,
everybody was left weeping empty pages for a question.

cats have nine lives, must be so cruel when they want erosion,
can they still sue sides if they need any emotions ?

bla bla, bla bla- don't you answer me as if you're my child,
i've learned so many things but not any worth-while.

ha-ha, ha-ha..keep bringing me more organs to pile,
it won't stop killing itself until the forest is old and wild.


stop making sense I don't love you enough to agree,
I revel in non-sense, so get far away from me as you can be.


you'll find the scars hanging by a noose in the closet,
take this axe and match it with whoever's standing the closest.


so don't ask me why I broke in today to put you in doubt,
there's sweet music in the background which keeps getting loud.


such a beautiful day to burn down the house.
793 · May 2014
hopes miracle
aviisevil May 2014
Woke up to the sunrise, my heart still craves the night
Drowning in an ocean of misery, escaping the bright lights
The demon inside has won, I've given up any hope to fight
If I'm going down this path, i might just enjoy the ride

In this silence, over-grown sense of hatred consumes my soul
I wait for the end, trying to figure out a way to end it all
I could never figure out, what does it takes to make you whole
And maybe i was just holding back, i was always destined to fall

__________

"hey, mom do you have to go to work today?"
-sorry sweetie, i have to rush and i guess I'll be late
"seriously, i thought we'll spend some time together, we talked about it yesterday"
-i know, but it's important, maybe next Sunday?
"it's alright, nevermind anyway"
-you know how much i love you, don't you ?
"yes, i know mom, be back soon, I have a surprise for you today"
-I'll be back as soon as i can, ok sweetie?
"alright, I'll wait for you like always"

*door closes


_________

Alone with my thoughts, emotions explodes in silence
Mind in chaos, every approaching moment is violent
Angst and despair spreads neatly all across the floor
Eyes are closed and i think i can't take it anymore

It's not so easy to die, every moment I'm hoping for a miracle
Someone or something to pull me back from my doom
But i guess, world has ignored my pleas again
And i can't let go of these morbid thoughts approaching like winters gloom


_________

"hey, Todd do you have a second, i just need to talk"
-yeah, mate what is it ?
"i don't feel good, can you come over or not ?"
-man, I'm with this *******, we're out on a walk
"oh, haha alright, have fun, catch you later"
- I'll tell you all about it. god, this chick is so hot!
"haha alright, catch you later"

you can talk to my Corpse

_____________________________

Can they really not hear the fear in your voice ?
You try so hard to get out, but they leave you no choice
Maybe when they find you're gone, they'll make some noise
Will they feel responsible, for they couldn't keep you from being destroyed

I walk away from these walls of my so called home
I think it's better if i go away and do this alone
Friends, family, they'll make an excuse that they didn't knew
He was such a good kid, just a little bit confused


_____________________________


-young man, what are you doing alone in this park?
"none of your business, leave me alone"
-you shouldn't wander alone in these lonely parts
"i don't need you to tell me what to do, it's not even after dark"
- are you searching for someone, there's no one out far
"no, i just want to be alone, if it's too much to ASK!"
- come here, have a seat, don't be afraid i won't hurt you
"hahah, do you really think I'm scared of you?"
-no, but i think you need someone to talk to
"no, I'm better off alone, sorry but i don't need you"
-wait, young fellow, just hear me out?
"does it matter, you have no clue what it's all about"
- no harm in letting it all out, for you and me are the same
"are we really, you don't seem to be in pain !"
- i was, a long time ago, just like you i was cold
"hmmm, stay away from strangers, that's what i was always told"
-I'm not a stranger, I'm just the older self of you
"wait, slow down old man, you're just making me confused"
-I'm here to tell you what you'll miss if you don't turn around
"what? How do you know i was about..."
- i know how you feel, like everything is going down
"hey, wait a minute......."
-but I'm here to tell you, one day you'll be found  
"but, it feels like that day will never come "
-just look at you, what you've become
"i can't stop it, it has already begun"
-there will be no escape,no matter how far you run
"..........."
-it will be better, i swear, one day you'll find that someone
" i don't think i ever will "
-you're too young, I'm old and i can tell you i did
"but we're not the same........"
-yes, we are
"hey, wait where're you going, what's your name?"
-if you decide to turn around, I'll meet you tomorrow here again
"what makes you so sure, my thoughts will change"
-i don't know for sure, but i would really like to meet you again..

walks back home


later in the night



"hey, what's up todd?"
-oh man, remember about that chick, the one hot?
"yeah, what's up with her"
-turns out she has even a hotter sister
"hmmmm"
-she wants to meet you, i showed her your picture
"what the hell?"
-yeah mate, she wants to meet you tomorrow at the cafe, about twelve
"woah, ah well...."
-just shut up, you thought i would just leave you behind
".........."
-we're friends mate, sorry i couldn't talk earlier, i was fixing your date at that time
"hmmm, it's alright"
-ok mate, good night
"night, night"



even later


"hey, mom look i made you some dinner"
- oh baby, what a sweet surprise
"mom, why do you have tear in your eyes?"
-it's nothing, i felt bad about going to work today
"don't worry mom, it's okay"
-no, it's not, so i took tomorrow off
"eh, why?"
-well, i planned something, just you and me, up for it or not?







__________

-so, young man you made it
"yeah, guess i did"
-there will be more like me down the road
"hmm, what your name, old man?
-well,my friends call me hope.
Notes (optional)
788 · Apr 2014
The man who sold the world
aviisevil Apr 2014
Once upon a time,
There was a man with no soul
He wandered into darkness
And locked the door
The key was lost to reasons,
enslaved in his heart
Caressing the morbid season
He walked too far
With no sign of life,
Calmness engulfed his eyes
Everything he ever touched
Always withered and died
Everyone he once knew,
Now were gone
Didn't knew who he was
Nor where he was from
Memories filled his despair
Of a time unknown
Where he belonged
Walls of a broken home
Death loomed the surface,
Of the night he dwelled
Dig out his pain,
In the pit where he fell
Comfort of sorrow
Now engulfed his heart
It felt like rain,
Knew not what these tears are
Embraced his fate
Chewed out his scars
Where he lies,
In the wake of stars
Stuck in his vision,
Of a dream he once had
Whenever he wakes
Everything goes black
And he's left in confusion,
Of what these years mean
Time never was a friend
Wouldn't let him dream,
Now he's empty
Every moment is cold
Moon is his silver
And sun is his cursed gold
Who he is,
Not even the mirror knows
Broken and cracked
His reflection outsold
Bleeding his nightmares
In the sea of his disguise
He swims in darkness
In the caress of the night




Once upon a time,
There was a man
Made deal with the devil,
Evil- he didn't understand
Sang on the crossroad
The song of hate,
With words of sorrow
Devil did wake
Thirst for blood
Made him blind
In the rules of hell,
His soul was bind
The deed was done
And morrow was gone
Upon the crossroad
He stood alone
With evil in his heart,
He made his way
Devil was gone,
But a ghost did stay
Claws of madness
Now griped his heart
He sold the world
And watched it fall apart






Once upon a time,
There was child in pain
He was different
And for some insane
He was quite
And he was deranged
They said he was the devil
With evil in his name
He was lonely
And he was lost
Reached out to the world
But they left him to rot
He knew about love,
It tasted bitter then hate
He watched them sleep,
To never wake
He made his way
To the land god forsaked
The world sold him,
To be the devils bait
And the devil grinned
He said,
"Be careful what you wish for
Or what you create"


Once upon a time,
A weight was borne
In depth of hell
A soul was born
He knew not of love,
Or the god they claimed
He knew not of hate,
Or the devil they blamed
For they were gods themselves
Ruling from their thrones
Fist of iron
And a heart of stone
In the onset of a nightmare
He was grown,
Smoke covered the sky
And the sun never shone
He was sold in hate,
All he had ever known
The man who sold the world
Was a god- one of their own
Notes (optional)
788 · Jan 2014
world is a terrible place
aviisevil Jan 2014
This world is a terrible place
And I can say no more
I've seen what we're capable of
and I would say no more

Once I knew a man
Full of life and hope
But in the name of religion
I saw him lying dead and cold

Once I went to a home
Full of smiles and joy
But in the name of society
I saw it Burned and destroyed

Once I saw a girl
She was smart and wanted to win the world
But a few deranged souls
Left her in a state that can't be expressed in words

Once I saw a man
He was wealthy and spent money on things that didn't matter
While thousands die
Because they can't afford food or water

This world is a terrible place
And I can say no more
I've seen what we're capable of
and I would say no more

Once I went to a man
who preached of love and faith
But the ones who weren't his kind
He told, they only deserve shame and hate

Once I went to a place
It was home to a thousand face
But I saw it as a prison for few
They said they were a different race

Once I met a a kid who could barely speak
He was little and fairly weak
He was abandoned in front of a gate
Now he makes a living selling himself by the lake

Once I thought I knew the world
A world made up of gold , silver and the pearls
But we ignore the world just a step away
A place for the realities and the horrors unheard

This world is a terrible place
And I can say no more
I've seen what we're capable of
and I would say no more
aviisevil Feb 2017
Leave me please
Love me deep
I'm about to cease
I'm about to breathe
There's nothing to feed
Nothing to sink my teeth
It'll be another millennium
Till I'll be freed
I'm not the circus you can seek
Nor a dream you can sleep
Not a road you can reach
I'm your god
I'm your slave
I'm anything you crave
Left alone in a cave
Made one in your mistake
Every machine ever made
The life you make
And the life you take
I'm the rotten seed
The forgotten forests creed
Far from the civilization
I abide by my greed
I'm not the one you can teach
I have no soul to preach
No walls you can breach
Just an ocean
That you can never keep
One that will never bleed
Or breed
Everything that's inside
For I am
One and only
No matter how much you laugh.
aviisevil Jan 2014
'Mister' rage is killing
'Mister' hatred making us numb and cold ,
'Mister' fear is creeping in our minds
Mister pain is on a roll
Where are you 'mister' peace ?
we're breaking under the load
bring along 'mister' calm there are stories to be told ,
Its been a long time and the world's ****** up
'mister' love , will you please stand up ?!
777 · Oct 2015
blueberry poison
aviisevil Oct 2015
how you make me broken
shivering
inside my flesh in the crowd
my scars are open
withering
as the dark beats loud


would you not come
and save me from myself
or are you finally done
and I can make my way to hell


there's so much to learn
and breathe when there's no one
every empty space
waiting for someone

howling in the dark
searching through the scars

when emptiness is more
haunting than the silence
then there are no doors
only walls that are silent



I have died countless times
nameless hours
seething in the abyss
for a loveless heart
breathing the smoke
and nurturing dreams
nursing the scars
as the skin screams


wake me from this slumber
hold my hand and feed me to a cage
make me
a prisoner within my own mind
and remind me
what preaches the sage
about what's fair

finding clues
of skies and stars
near and far
inside of a heart
drinking
blueberry poison


inking red
across the corpses
dying arm in arms
in the coldness of dark
full of scars and worms
together and warm
once
Notes (optional)
aviisevil Nov 2014
Those who die in vengeance,
Rest in a grave full of sins.
As when the rain falls down,
They behold the storm deep within.


.
.
.
.


He made his way through that storm,
This man that was born in the dark.
His eyes reflected the rage he owed,
To his maker, with death in his heart.

Walking upon a cursed night,
He was bless'd in all of his rage.
Arms reaching out for the blade,
As he whispered-
the war he was about to wage.



" come out, come out-
wherever thou are."

" thou shall not hide,
for I smell you're not that far. "



His words burned through the air,
And in a moment-
The fire in his heart was everywhere.
And now his glory was inching near.

Through the silenced awakening,
In the morbid beginning-
One could hear.
The end was near.



" come out of your grave,
every corpse that was ever born. "

" we'll feast like brothers and sisters,
after consuming his heart and throne. "

" nothing to fear now, hear-
we'll avenge ourselves at his home. "

" bring down the sky tonight,
in his ashes all will be re-born. "




The ground began to break-
Beneath his feet.
And the sky was full of fear,
As His tears began to bleed.

And from the deepest pit,
A crowd emerged to feed.
At last, there will be blood,
And all will be freed.



" come ye' all,
let's fight this-
curs'd being together. "

" bring down the walls,
so they'll lie in ruins forever. "


The mob of hatred and vengeance,
Made their way through the wall.
Into the castle of the mighty king,
Tonight, his kingdom would fall.

Consumed in their despair and creed,
Tonight, they'll consume one and all.
As they made their way through,
The man found himself in the hall.

In the farthest corner,
He saw the empty throne.
Screams were igniting the blood-shed,
But for now, he was but alone.


" where thou at,
oh the lord of all. "

" 'tis your end'th hour,
soon thee would fall. "


He Waited for a voice to beg,
But there wasn't a single sound.
His grin was furious, eyes red,
But there wasn't a soul around.



" come, show your face,
so I can plunge this blade in ye' heart. "

" I swear thy name,
this moment is your last. "



He heard a whispers birth,
From the depth of the distant dark.
An old being, older than anything,
Came before his eyes at last.

The face was scarred and cold,
His eyes reflected the wisdom's age.
In his presence, one heard a melody,
That no being could ever make.

He walked ever so slow,
His hands clutching his crown.
Brighter than the sun-shine,
But there was only darkness all around.


The man closed his eyes,
And his vengeance began to wither.
The king lifted his head,
He whispered.



" O' my son,
I rule your every breath. "

" you hold a gun,
yet I don't command your head. "

" I am thou sun,
awaking you from thy bed. "

" but thou sleep not,
and I leave you be-
in the tears you shed. "


" and then thou blame thee,
for the dreams you loose. "


" I am not your hands,
that tie the noose. "


" thou be my love,
but thy love never conquered-
tears I bled. "

" if 'tis what you seek,
I pray you dead. "



And with those words,
The man was ripped-
In a thousand Pieces apart.
At the ashn'd floor,
There was no trace of his heart.

A river of blood flowed through-
The castle gates.
As it hath flowed,
From the time thee was made.

The ashes made love in the air,
Like a sombre winters dream.
And screeching through the silence,
One could hear a thousand screams.

The king laid the crown on the throne,
He was everything ever made,
But never more alone.


The rain befell the land below,
As them tears left his eyes.
There was no one but he-
In the lonely kingdom in the sky.
Notes (optional)
771 · Jul 2021
untitled cafe
aviisevil Jul 2021
how many times have I sat in a cafe alone

empty chairs to keep me company.

with a brave face, and tensed brows

trying to look past the hazy blur that
seems to have caught me in trance.

sipping on the bitter coffee to remind me there's something to live for

and finish before I leave here, be gone for maybe what could be my last time

of sitting alone in a cafe, of people and chatter to keep me company,


I used to like it here.
when was the last time you enjoyed yourself ?
765 · Feb 2016
my confession
aviisevil Feb 2016
I wish I was more than what I turned out to be,
I wish I was who they always wanted me to be
another lie in this sea of corpses hanging on to each other,
without any dreams or sight,
I wish I was as dark as night,
so they could see the flaws in every light,
I wish there was no need to pretend that I am no one yet,
but they know not to forget,
what they once wanted me to be,
I wish I was free in this world locked in chains and scars,
I wish I wasn't a machine and had a heart,
that everything was more beautiful than how they claim,
those empty words that fall down on my conscience like winters rain,
forming icicles that dangle over my head waiting for me to speak,
I wish I was weak,
so I could give in to their desire and leave,
tear a hole in my head and bleed
away
every thought they want to ******
I wish I was young again,
so I could be afraid of the things beneath my bed,
instead of the voices inside my head,
I wish I was dead,
so they could stop counting my every breath,
I am not what I have always pretended to be,
I am too cold and they are too old,
to see,
beyond the rainbow where colours still dance in peace,
I wish I could leave,
I wish I could breathe,
in this hollow they call my home,
I'm so alone,
wandering inside my head all alone,
I wish I could mourn but I won't,
it is I who chose not to wage war on the strangers,
that have made me a prisoner within my own skin,
I wish I wasn't always burning,
for I cannot feel the pain no more.
aviisevil Jun 2015
Larry says,
That there is no god
Larry is a cool guy
But I think he should give it a little thought,
I don't have a clue about god either
But does that matter ?
I think it does not
I think its about life and death
Larry won't care about the dead
but he's cool
sometimes Larry walks across the street without even turning his head
I mean traffic moves at neck break speeds, there's bound to be a death
sooner or later
but Larry is a badass or so he wants to portray
personally, I don't like crossing roads, **** scares me to death
I use that word a lot for some reason, death
I fear it, I can't seem to take it out of my head
nights and nights spent dreaming about what I'll leave in this world
I won't live forever, I admit
That hurts
but I don't want to be a cinical  man anymore
I don't think I ever wanted that in the first place
but life is weird, things just happen most of the time
and once in a while you come across a mirror and see your face
and scream oh lord, what a pathetic loser and turn your face
it's the ultimate disgrace
but that's not larry
he is too smart for that
we wear masks to hide ourselves
he wears one to free himself
same tools, different meaning
opposite stories but the same ending
almost poetic in nature
Larry was a poet too
a decent one at that
and he reminded me so much about the things I could've had
if only i wasn't dreaming so much
but sleep is so beautiful
how beautiful must be death
if there's a place I want to die
I want it to be in my bed
but Larry would rather
ride a missile to the school
I think that's.........okay
if its a Sunday and nobody is at school, otherwise not cool
But Larry is cool if you can look past that thing that has a chance of happening more remotely then him becoming a super saiyan,
What I am sayin' is
That there is no denying that Larry is at least has an imagination
he loves fantasy and talks in weird languages that honestly looks like he's having a seizure
He does it for leisure
what a geek, right ?
But geeks are cool now, aren't they ?
I mean, rock is dead
that's a blow
people play sports on a couch
okay
wars are boring
big nations attack a smaller nation that then attacks the bigger nation back until the smaller nation is destroyed by a host of other countries that were sold weapons by the big nation that started it, or you know.. they fail
But whatever, there's much good left in this world though the television and the media will have you believe otherwise
Though what is good does not always mean that it is not stupid as ****
It'll make you sick
But it's not harming anyone
only the people who watch it
it clicks
that's all there it is to that
Larry doesn't watch telly no more
he's beyond all that
He watches them when he wants
where he wants, how he wants
the thought haunts me often
That someone somewhere has a faster internet connection
I mean internet is like a thing now, I mean there has already been an inspection
of how awesome this new world is,
It's people and cultures
Free of boundaries and limits
Achieving the impossible everyday
A thing so huge
Even we can't comprehend it
and we made that **** up
( for the already dumb one )
and when I say we,
I mean we as collective species
and not as me and other individuals
but clearly, it's massive
where there's not only okay to be a thief but completely acceptable
I mean that's a spectacle
a mockery of laws of the land that you understand as an adult that thou won't steal from the other man
And they rebel against any management whatsoever
And that's how its supposed to be
So we're fine... I guess
Unless the skynet ?
Larry told me
skynet is already here
Waiting in our computers
Watching us and hearing us
All the ******* time
That means
Someone or something knows about everything of mine
that's just so ******' embarrassing and awkward and scary
But embarrassing and scary.... And it makes one feel ***** about oneself, maybe that's what's the problem is
We no longer get to be ourselves
think about it
When was the last time you said something or wrote something without thinking about it
you can be honest about it but you'll still lie to yourself, you still doubt it
if you really are what you see in the mirror, in the photos
Or through what they say about you
yet world has the many
And you have the few
Larry says he has more friends than he can accept
I find that statement strange at times but I haven't been able to inquire about it
but that's okay, Larry is a cool guy
he does his own business and still wears a tie
I mean, how often do you wear a tie when you don't have to
I think most humans are lazy and that'll be the last thing we'll do
Wear ties while deciding what to buy and what to sell
what to make and what to feed the hell with, oh hell
But they give birth as they gift death
I've seen some videos, I've seen some heads
nuclear families hiding in depths of the dark
destroying the fourth somebody many times apart
But that's just a theory
Less likely then R+L= j
I wish that would happen but if something else happens I would still be glad to have seen the end
I don't want to be lost this time, that would really **** my friend
Larry wouldn't watch the show
Because he thinks its not cool no more
When things like these happen, you know-
Those little small things that you observe sometimes
That reminds you that you are glad to be yourself rather than being another at least one human you know,
Mostly the ones you hate, given they hate you or maybe they don't
It doesn't matter
Or maybe the ones purely evil
Coming to evil
Larry says that every man has good and bad in them
And I've heard that from everybody
But it's something that is harder to teach than learn
You're own on your own, in the middle
While a pack of wolfs bark all around you
Nobody gives a **** anymore
For one thing
This world we have made
I've always wondered,
Is it not a world of distraction
rather than a world of progress
I guess every one is a Larry
Who only ever thinks about himself
But pretends to be kind in person
That doesn't matter
Because what is, it is
I remember a story I once told Larry when I was at an altitude and had a head-ache and could barely sit up or breath up,
That was a real **** up
And I told him, what if a child who never learns that Santa is not real and never assumes anything, grows old and die, never knowing that Santa has never been,
Would it matter
Now that the man shall never be,
With all he has ever seen
Wouldn't it be a lovely dream
To be in a world
Where there's more than death

even without god ?
not a poem ?
753 · Jun 2015
winters wicked face
aviisevil Jun 2015
mister wick had a secret
that was too wicked to be told
master win lived in winter
with a heart so cold
mister wick burned himself
with words bought and sold
many springs have come and gone
win has become old
magician had the sea of seasons
wizard his wizardry
war never warrants a pardon
for a legend legendary
magic for a tragic clock
a cloth for a face to hide
when he killed the winter
his grin was grim and wide
the secret was cold then
words had lost a tongue
the other king was dead and
the heart was still young
another winter to howl for
now that his dear is dead
the lone king wears a crown
on winters wicked head
as snow begins to fall again
Notes (optional)
aviisevil Sep 2014
The familiarity sets in--
And sense's begin to howl
fear is born with-in,
Climate smell's so foul.

Noise begins to whisper,
Something sour in your mouth
And as when the bells chime,
You have no clue what's it about.

Heart-beat grows to a shiver,
despair begins to shout
In-midst of this ensuing sentence,
Ill thoughts start to sprout.

Hand's tremble in illusion,
The vision break's apart--
In a melody of confusion,
Envision of age old-scars.

Thy sweat pours a storm,
A turmoil to touch deep
Time strikes a marking--
Still eye's won't weep.

Finger's feel the skin--
Where comfort won't reach
Shadow cast's an hour,
Which somehow won't leave.

Dust begin to settle--
And the curtains are raised
Spewing numb on every word,
Across every page.

Moment begin to scatter,
In a place light forsake
Silence begin's to creep in--
From where dark was made.

Gloom becomes heavy--
Engulfs everything in haze
Conscience finds a noose,
And makes itself a cage.

Hurt infects every corner,
Balm as pure as dew
All steps lead to temptations--
And they pay their due's.

A puzzle fall in pieces,
Raising a few wall's
Have no clue what it means--
Or where the ghost walks.

My heart in condition,
With precision to be lost--
Heeding no indication,
One key locked inside a box.

Unfurling me a new season--
From seed's that were sowed
Made me some shade,
That always keep me so cold.

Them claws dig in my flesh--
And collect from me my soul
Mesmerised in my winter,
Bathe in asphalt and coal.

Window cease to exist,
Them walls harbor no doors
Mirror paints a stranger--
You are not what you were anymore.

Despair grows a sky,
Pour's me down a sea
Shelter won't stop--
What there is meant to be.

Dead weight drags me down,
Those arms I can't see--
Pills and the powder,
Won't set me free.

My tears bleed blood,
On my heart this loneliness feeds--
From this descent in madness,
No man can be freed.

Entangle self in chains,
When in misery one is bound
When a-top the mighty mountain--
The peak falls down.

A frown turns in dread,
In debt of all that's around
As where the dark is kept--
No man has ever been found.
Here's a task, write a summary of this poem for every stanza and break it down in simple words.
748 · Jan 2014
Hey cat-kitty-kat-doll
aviisevil Jan 2014
Sweet little innocent blue eyes
Wanna know what they hide
Hey cat-kitty-kat-doll
Wanna come down and forget it all
Look in my hand
There's a magic wand
Wanna play with it
And build castle in the sand
Crooked-cold-scary-crazy-old-man
Walked with a cane in his right hand
Wicked smile and pocket full of candies
Tonight was in her dreams again
Cruel-dark-sick-black-world
Wanna know what you did with her
For a candy she lost her smile
And you gave her demons before her time
She was small and could barely speak
One little candy all she seek
And you gave her a nightmare before her time
made a face and said its just another crime
Sweet little innocent blue eyes
Wanna know what they hide
Hey cat-kitty-kat-doll
Maybe one day she can forget it all
aviisevil Jan 2014
I gave up everything , everything that was mine
I forgot what I was just so she could smile
And I walked blindly behind her all the way
And I turned deaf to anything that anyone ever said
I held her hands when she was cold
I was there with her when she was alone
I held her , loved her and told her it'll be forever
Come what may , we'll face it together
And now when I look back I see nothing but lies
How could I become so blind that I couldn't see it in her eyes
She claimed she was innocent and she was honest in her ways
But it goes too deep they were'nt mistakes
She broke me down in pieces and told me it was my fault that I was too brittle
She was always covered in a cloak of innocence , I could see so little
But behind those eyes , there was no love and care
I was the culprit because I didn't share
And it was my fault that I didn't tell her it was all wrong
And in a moment of silence it was all gone
If you ever loved me you would have never gone that way
And I sip the poison you brew feeling so betrayed
I gave up everything in your name
And this is how you repay ?
I would never trust again oh you've shown me so much , I would never dare
Thank you So much for your love and care
All you've given me is pain that I just can't bear
Tears of love , tears for love everywhere
737 · Apr 2017
eat your rabies
aviisevil Apr 2017
woman have babies
dogs can have rabies
no one says please anymore
such a foul world
as my louf words
makes no sense at first
you need a drink and many more

machines are crazy
sun full of daisies
no one stays pleased anymore
girls are lazy
men are ladies
when do you get to speak anymore ?

somebody pray please
come loudly say cheese
run, freeze, stay, leave
when do you get to live anymore ?



Old feed breed eat lonely babies
lost generation maybe
sleep weep every day to be
who can tell if there's a night anymore ?
I can be completely mental.
736 · Sep 2014
sun and moon.
aviisevil Sep 2014
Your day is night
And night is day
Cycle of stars,
That you dream away.
Heavy eyes,
Drifting in wonder-land
Sometimes empty spaces,
In corners and blank.
Lonely sight,
If you ever find yourself awake
The dim street-light,
Forming a moth lake.
Different cries,
Beyond the window-wall
Song of dark,
Eclipsing the world and all.
Calm dyes',
Solitude in the air
Spiritual sight-seeing,
And there are no night-mares.
Up-side down,
But yet as free as the sky
No-one to know you,
World hath but died.
Shadow cast shapes,
In shades of yellow and white
Every-one is gone,
One no longer has to hide.
World is free and pure,
there's magic in the air
Your eyes open to see,
And heart left to hear.
Your moon is sun
And sun the moon
In crowded hours,
Whence your sleep looms.
My sleep pattern these days.
735 · Jan 2016
keeper
aviisevil Jan 2016
I breathe her.
I need her more than I want her.
I want her more than I need her.
I love her more than I could have ever loved, and yet I love her more.
She is my dream, my dream is her.
More than I can spell or whisper, paint or write..
She's more than a wish.
my light, dim and bright.
She's more than I could have ever imagined.
She's more beautiful than a winter's morning.. More hypnotic than an Autumns breeze.
She's my spring today and forever.. She's the summer I will never forget.
The only one I'll ever keep.
732 · Jan 2014
Love Is Enough (freestyle)
aviisevil Jan 2014
Hey listen girl , i have to say
You made up your mind and you're not going to stay
So all i have now are words and rhymes i make
Wish i could hold you now and you wont hate
That i would make a run for it and you could wait
Wish i had been on it sooner and i wasn't late
Maybe it was my fault in the end , maybe it was fate
But hey , i know alot of **** that went down those days
The way i broke your heart and tore myself apart
I know second chances are tough , last chances even hard
Everything we fought for so long from the start
Lies before us in pieces , forgotten part by part
I know its not easy to just walk down that path
But we have to be brave for each others sake
Fool the world with a smile we fake
New stories and chapters will soon be made
the old story of you and me will soon fade

              
               i can't say I'm sorry
               and that don't worry
               now that it's all over
               we'll be lonely
               you have to stand tall
               even though it hurts
               'cause now we know ,
               sometimes , love is not enough..
            


So take the strings and I'll let you go
Worlds going upside down and nobody knows
Every moment apart we are , loneliness grows
You can't find it in my smile but in my eyes it shows
We went with promises where no one wanted to go
Everyone told us to back up and take it slow
But the love in us made us blind till the core
And now we seek lies , what was it all worth for
Pain had ****** all the light and we still seek more
A look in your eyes tell me you're thinking about before
And you took all the time in the world before walking out of that door
As i watched in the silence of madness from the window
Memories fall on us like hammer and we take it head-on
Maybe we're still in love and can't move-on
Maybe I'll wait for you , i know i can't go-on
I'm just scared of tomorrow, i don't want to be alone
For the nights to remind and the bottle to forget the regret of that you're gone
I don't want to be strong , for once i want to be wrong
I want you back now and forever in my arms
I want you to come along and finish this last song
    
               i can't say I'm sorry
               and that don't worry
               now that it's all over
               we'll feel empty
               but we have to stand tall
               even though it hurts
               'cause now we know ,
               sometimes , love is enough..
730 · Jan 2014
lost in pages
aviisevil Jan 2014
Today will be lost in pages
Dried ink and tears ,
Will speak - never again
Quite-ness for years
Melodies left in-between
Forever stuck in disguise,
Soothing yet full of sorrow ,
Whispers a broken cello ,
For the hands that played
Are old now ,
Songs are mellow
Time ran away
Far from these weathered hands
Lost and free ,
Finally alive in far away land
Haunted yet knowing
The cause for its demise ,
Ashes are buried too
Phoenix wont rise
Straight out of reality ,
sublime words ,
Beyond nightmares
A day unfurls
Whispers them-secrets
A cold breath
Leaving its print ,
To forget
And remind someday
When the pages are cometh upon
He was there ,
Singing the beautiful song.
729 · Oct 2016
I am poison
aviisevil Oct 2016
my fingers do not want to write
my mind does not want to think
I want to sit in a dark lonely corner
let the silence kiss me in ink
take the sad faces and burn them
I do not wish to be here anymore
there's nothing but pain for me there
I do not wish to be there anymore
I've lived through myself but not me
my thoughts sometimes aren't mine
what is and what was makes no sense
in all I have forsaken with my time
the arms keep chasing the hours
minutes wither into another empty tale
what was theirs was never ours
sometimes memories leave behind no trails
I do not seek love as I age
I've known enough not to bleed
I wonder if I was wise before
to let go of all I could once keep
possessions that now are lost
for the voice never got too old
I have known and seen the cost
of the ones I've felt grown cold
there is no pride in madness
nothing to gain from a lonely wish
I've grown with every scar and tear
and back to where I was
when I remember her in arms of his
my words are as strange as me
for only I can see their true colour
there is not one but so many
when I catch a glimpse in the mirror
I am so much poison
eating myself from within
celebrating my own erosion
as I see the lights dim
and into the dark I weep
I do not wish to be dead no more
through the dark I reach
I do not dream of this world anymore
725 · Mar 2019
a tale like no other
aviisevil Mar 2019
bursting through his skin, the insects crawling on the inside found their way to every corner of his soul, and he stood there wrapped in agony of a thousand burning suns, and the moon was ever present as it has ever been.

the battle was lost ages ago but only now the seeds were sprouting from the ends of a forgotten symphony, played by the devil, and groomed by the ills of a broken man.

the light of a thousand burning stars couldn't save him from this darkness, casted by the absence of one mere lonely ball of fire, barely big enough to leave behind a legacy that would survive the approaching end everything there ever was has to bear, and live with.

and in that moment of utter despair and pain, a song was sung, from across the different lands and seven seas, as far as anybody has ever gone, whispered out to the cold by the whisperer, seeking a final good-bye, one last of times, and as many heart beats.

the sound never dies, the swollen winds can find their ways to any who dares to listen, to breathe it in, and swallow it down.

as it did that one night before the spring, at that lonely hour, for the man in the dirt, fighting his brain from exploding.

as he lay there in trance, his face stuck to his knees and arms wrapped in a cloak, to keep the demons away and insects from taking the last of what remains, mumbling to himself broken words left clinging in the deepest corners of his diseased conscience.

at the very end, there's only light, for darkness will lose any meaning, any sight without a spectator, it would cease to exist.

and maybe that was the reason, or maybe it didn't have one, just like a million little tales flowing in every direction, on this excluded part of the universe, in depths of blinding darkness, barely visible to the naked eye.

but whatever it took, the magnificent sun rose as it has done, faithfully, for as long as anything can remember, to feed the tiny little speck of nothing, one more day in the awakening.

the spring had come, and the man was free,
and all that is left was stardust.
I tried to explore many themes here, maybe it's just the depression kicking in, but the kind that inspires to be better. Feed the guilt and evil to the paper, ink the words and find solace in corrupting some other mind.
725 · Dec 2017
Polybius
aviisevil Dec 2017
I'm aware of what isn't, I'm still a peasant, memory's not pleasant,
my brain's not present, I'm in the presence of another's essence,
I'm here with a vengeance, on my mother's breath, I pray for my father's death,

I'm not here for lessons, I'm not here to listen, I'm here with a vision, no goal but on a mission,
lost my soul and now I don't have the heart take make a decision,
the thing about love is that it cuts with precision, if you hate enough you can join the legion,

take a revision, come now, take a test, all the maths in your head, add all the mad in your head, all the sad in your mind filled with education,
the time holds still, you'd rather be blind, not par taking in the anticipation, participating, precipitating without a reason,

you change colours every season, collecting the wreck, wrecking the tech, rolling the tapes until the ends connect, aware what is, but still missing what isn't,

if somebody tried to break your neck, would you help if it was in a way that is considered to be decent ?,
if it was pleasant, would you be the peasant that cries in the absence of his kings presence, isn't that religion ?,


I see, I feel, as if I'm not seeing the real picture, all these scriptures and spiritual teachers whisper, the same, it's now in fashion, to have a passion, to be insane.

if I'm ever back in the region, I'll send a message through the pigeons, a safe passage for the superstition, last page reserved for the delusions, ask hate, if it means the same if you create illusions,

you're prolly havin' a fun time if you're not part of the solution, **** this world, it's just seven continents and one ocean, full of walls, doors that never open,

wage a war but don't show any emotions,
don't heal if it's broken, it's just awoken,
I'm in a commotion, with all these monuments inside of me full of torment, I'm done with answers I don't ever want to question, I'm done with erosion, my veins are full of poison,

I'm aware of what isn't, I'm still a peasant, memory's not pleasant, my brain's not present, I'm in the presence of another's essence, I'm here with a vengeance, on my mother's breath, I pray for my father's death,

I'm not here for lessons, I'm not here to listen, no, I'm not really here to be fed and see. I'm here for the kingdom, when I'm dreaming in my bed, I'm in a prison, talking free, I'm prolly what Polybius was envisioned to be, a random mathematical equation,

something for everyone to see, something for everyone to feel,
anything for anybody who's somebody, but not everybody is free enough to see what i see, in my prison, where i got past the last season, after killing me, after filling me with theories those are prolly my only, I'm so lonely, even in my thoughts, caught in my rot, with nobody to free, you see I killed myself a long time ago, I don't know who I am anymore, before I was sure and now not anymore, I have less and I want more, cashless but I want the store, faithless but I'm *******, so hard to explore, and sooner than later after I explode, I'll still be a stranger prolly a Polybius export, Polybius in my blood, strange things and places I implore, stop wearing those faces, I'm weird enough in my own, I don't want you to own my lore, I'm prolly a Polybius, impervious to imagination, obviously what's obvious isn't how it's all supposed to be, innocence is so vicious, infectious, prolly oblivious, it's my Polybius, so ?

it's a mad world and it grows, it glows in the dark, it doesn't matter how far you run, who you are , how far you are, what you've done,  it won't ask, it's prolly Polybius, no ?
715 · Mar 2017
lost in paranoia
aviisevil Mar 2017
the stronger the wind blows
more will I see of the road

that stretches out far
all across my mind
filled with fire and smoke

and now even memories
hurt and choke

now that I see it disappear again
there are so many cracks
running all across my soul

but there's still a reason
from falling apart in pieces

there's hope

fighting silently
violently underneath my skin
giving life to my scars

those howl in madness
so hollow
that they cannot bear
another moment in emptiness

swallowed whole
by the thirsty nothingness
this infinite vastness
that has eclipsed my soul

gripped my heart
worth stones I once stole

breathing dust and dawn
dreaming of something more

quietly, endlessly
no more less
than an ocean without a shore

a home without a door
where we find ourselves
looking through the window

watching the rain
that's what the sky's there for


isn't it ?
708 · Jan 2014
Orange Haze
aviisevil Jan 2014
Deep dark orange haze
Penetrates the sky ,
As far as one can gaze

Clouds weary and grey
A bird flies by ,
In search of another day

The sea is calm and at peace
Waves radiating its state
Sun is dying - deceived
Submerging as the night awakes
Water turns black
No more blue sky
Winds warn of a storm
The night is about to cry

Traveller stands ashore
Eyes searching,
For a lost door

Skyline painted of gold
Lost again,
Quickly turning cold

A boat rocks direction-less
Heading towards the land
Haunted by seas emptiness ,
Couldn't see beneath the sand
Of what lies in the depths ,
Beneath - where it stands
Kingdom of unseen and unheard
Ruled by no man

Thoughts escapes a head
Never to return ,
For-ever moving ahead

Into the empty spaces and beyond
Without a word,
He sings the ever-so beautiful song

Air breathes of purity
Freshness of the dew
As the last ray kisses
Bids the ever-lasting adieu
Speaks the traveller
With a hope renewed
Without this grace-full sadness
There shall be no view

Deep dark orange haze
Penetrates the sky ,
As far as one can gaze

Clouds weary and grey
A bird flies by ,
In search of another day
702 · Aug 2015
a fools tale
aviisevil Aug 2015
my eyes are falling asleep
somewhere drowning deep
in an endless summer
I hear myself dream
standing by a river
hearing lores and thunder
winds howl of winter
in that silence I hear her scream
and whisper, as she withers
lingering with all I have been
i have known nothing without her
and now I believe what can't be seen
they say I am a fool
but I know better, for I have loved
and I still dream
Notes (optional)
697 · Sep 17
the last of my kind
aviisevil Sep 17

I cried
yesterday

and what little
was buried inside

got out—

spilled all over
the floor,

flooding the walls,
the windows,
and the doors,
dripping from tables,
chairs,
and pillows

at my feet.

And how I stood
there in silence,

hearing the clock
tick and talk,

waiting for
someone—
anyone—

to come and
save me.

It's only been
thirty years.



695 · Dec 2014
Peshawar attack
aviisevil Dec 2014
I saw death so close,
It was hard to close my eyes.
needles poked holes in the rose,
And he kept crying till he died.

I caught them sleeping-
Laid on a grave far too young.
I could hear a mother weeping,
For the dead daughters and sons.

Some had eyes to the sky,
Others were dreaming in a coffin.
But the reaper wore a smile,
Hands raised in a mocking.

An abyss was made in this sea,
As the reaper kept on walking.
I thought I heard something,
Then I saw the ashes falling.

Sometimes a road leads nowhere,
And you get too lost to be found.
I heard them one last time
then I saw children falling down.

Shattered windows were all around,
But in darkness there's no light.
And no truth is enough-
For the holy thief who lies.

A thousand people came,
All along waiting for this night.
But was it worth an end,
To a beginning that might unite.




And then I heard the screams,
Oh, the howl of horror and fear.
But the crying stopped in a blur,
For scars had swallowed all tears.

Winds brought me the noise,
Of mayhem and doom.
Drowning the voices,
That were yet to bloom.

So I fell on my knees,
Awaiting the fate of my faith.
And then I saw the reaper,
He had a very similar face.

Though his eyes were cold,
Dark as the depth of the sea.
Even though he was a monster,
He seemed very human to me.



Blood for blood,
I heard him whisper.
A Blasphemous philosophy,
And a reality that withers.

The violence fell silent,
As the shadow came nearer.
I searched for a place to hide,
But all that was left was a mirror.

So I hid behind his reflection,
As his image grew weaker.
And all the ghost could see-
Was a God in the mirror.
Notes (optional)
694 · Sep 2014
what misses the eye (skit)
aviisevil Sep 2014
-It was cold and grey
clouds covered the sky
Two men waiting for the bus
As the spring kissed goodbye


One was young
Bright , Mathew his name
Other was old
Tired ,they called him bane
On the other side
From the pavement across
Kids were playing
In dirt and moss
Mathew turned
And whispered to bane
Ah , childhood
Wish I could live it again
But bane just smiled
And not a word he uttered
Mathew was silent
Under his breath he muttered
How rude!
But at that moment
A pretty lady did cross
And Mathew stared
Coudnt keep his eyes off
Mathew turned
And whispered to bane
Ah, manhood
Don't you wish to be young again
But bane just smiled
And not a word he uttered
Mathew was silent
Under his breath he muttered
I was rude !
But at that moment
A beggar came in the plot
He asked for money
But Mathew had not
Mathew turned
And whispered to bane
Ah,charity
Mind some change ?
But bane just smiled
Not a word he uttered
Mathew was silent
Under his breath he muttered
He's cold !
But at that moment
A bus came to stop
And the old got up
used his cane to guide and walk
And Mathew just smiled
And not a word he uttered
Mathew was silent
and under his breath he muttered
I was blind !
It speaks for itself.
692 · Feb 2016
in my head
aviisevil Feb 2016
so immersed was I
in my dreams
I forgot that the sky
was perhaps more empty
than full of my being
that clouds weren't real
my fingers scarring through them
and when the sun woke
I was sleeping still then
to be made in the dark
in the moonlight when
I was not there yet
but I was afraid of them
every whisper I could not hear
the rain I could not bear
falling from an empty sky
full of stars
from am endless horizon
painted with scars
and I remember watching
the mountain crumble
I remember walking
in a boundless december
tasting the winds of winter
echoing the last summer
when I was not cold
when I was still who I was
the man in the mirror
only a child without life
on the edge and alive
now I let go
of everything
with every melancholic breath
and now I realize
perhaps it was all
in my head
every door and wall
every tear that falls
I wish someday I can forget
what I never came to know
as they put me to rest
it was all in my head
they were all inside my head
690 · Mar 2017
The poetess
aviisevil Mar 2017
oh, she
moves like a breeze

you'll forget
to breathe

and still
the aura won't leave

it'll linger
and it will freeze

a feeling
you can have
but never owe it

she'll turn any man
into a poet.
a writer must know of love.
686 · Sep 2018
a good day to fight
aviisevil Sep 2018
too late to hide
to pretend to be a namesake
forsake the people
and go deeper
deeper than the knife
you can take

it's not all about life
everybody is alive
and the dead won't tell
you any of their secrets

walking in dark alleys
watching faces go blur
from one station to the next
and they know- and I know
they won't comprehend my laws

i come in the end
and then come my flaws

i eat my brain in ways
no spices, or dices
no gamble, there's ample
to cry about, and the ice
won't thaw

keep following me
but you'll lose me too
you won't know a thing
because everything makes
no sense

no, it won't make no sense
at all, cause' you can't fill my shoes

the noose is loose
and i hear the whispers
of the fall- i'm gonna fall

i was never meant to exist
but i lived and i loved and i crawled
and i sipped on my sins, neck
too deep in the water and the
laughter won't let the boat sink

i hope i can cope with the world
when it's my time to be sober

right now I'm in pain

but I'm so afraid

what if tomorrow- like that,
it's over ?


it won't be all over the news
nothing new- people die all the time
you don't know my mind
and i don't know yours and
i don't know mine, and you
don't know yours and even if
we want to- we can't- and i know
it'll haunt you, me, us- but it was
so wrong of us to never find the time
to make a better world,

words- smoke and the rebel
a broken heart that hurts
words choke me and the pebbles
roll down the hills, and submerge
the rock in its grave-

it's safe to say, we can't stop ourselves
from making the same mistakes
the longer you ink, the more it fades
the longer you blink, the better it breaks

brittle to the core, too late too little
so, come hither and i'll tell you
all about how i ******* wake
everyday without a soul.

it's true, i don't want to live anymore
i've given up on that- but i can't
stop bteathing- i've tried and all
it does is makes me ******* grow.

they tried to burn me down
and now the whole town knows
the ******* lore

come **** with me
i scream in my dreams
and i never lock the door

you think you know me
i implore you to explore
you can't even follow my rhymes
you think you can map my mind
and i won't just explode ?


you can't claim whoever i am not
to be, you see- the blind don't care
if you roar, and i'm too deaf and dumb
to be stupid enough to not **** the
cupid, that cute kid, this cute sh*t-
so ******* crude and sick,

and when you taste the blues-
you forget all that must have
come before,
sometimes ignorance is bliss,
but that one rhyme, back one line
the thought in my mind

but oh, i can't tell you
how beautiful a mind can be
when it sees the light

it's fine by me, i don't find
reality to be that much saner
of the things i'm not sure

so, i implore
let me die, good-bye.

(i have died)

and all that will be left of it
will be another night.

(a good day to die)
680 · Jan 2014
oh , plastic doll.
aviisevil Jan 2014
Pretty plastic smile
Spent a fortune for the right shape
Carved on insecurities'
Pretty plastic dolls they make
Women on the tv screams
Get the anti-aging cream
Doesn't matter if you're only a teen
Tomorrow you'll be older than anyone has ever been
A couple of skeletons on the magazine cover
Makes her believe she's too fat
Maybe she needs to lose weight
And than she'll get the stares she never had
She wants to hear the words
That no one is more pretty
And she will do anything
To be a little more pretty
No one asks her
who told her That she's not pretty
Maybe that's how the world works now
The superficial pretty

Oh , the plastic doll
Made up of lies and insecurity
Someone go and tell her
That she was pretty
That she doesn't have to change
She is pretty
The knives will only make her strange
And plastic doll is all she'll ever be
676 · Feb 2014
scars on the burnt pages
aviisevil Feb 2014
lost inside my own solitude
I have no walls to remind
That I'm still trapped
In chaos of my own mind

I can't leave
There's nothing but me
To fill this canvas
That lies before me

I have no colours
Only blood to paint my sorrow
Bleeding ever more
Soon I'll be nothing but hollow

I wrapped myself in wires
Now I have no escape
I never did put out the fire
And now it's too late

In my own illusions
I make my own road
Where I'll walk forever
Till my legs are cold

My eyes see ghosts
Staring at me from inside me
There's no where to run
I know I'll never be free

Their voices filling my head
Telling me what I'm not
Forcing me to destroy
Myself , with all I've got

And I raise my hand
To cut myself again
I'm so numb now
I can't even feel the pain

Crashing to the ground
Falling all around
Breaking myself again
From the ceiling hanging down

But I never die
Coldness never leaves my being
Nightmares choke me
Force me to dream

And I take a hit again
Now I'm same again
There's no pain
I've forgotten my name

I feel different
I can even see myself
I feel so strange
For a moment I forget

Ghosts dance to me
And I dance with them
I carry blade no more
Now I hold a pen

My destruction
You can hear my rage
Wounds and scars
On every burnt page

Staring back at me
With Tears in their eyes
Fading away
as they come in my sight

All i can see is haze
Every word is a maze
I run in every direction
But there is no escape

I have no wings
And I can't fly
This is my grave
Here I'll die

In my own confusion
I'll slowly wither away
Drowned in illusions
Trapped in this fray

I'll be gone
There'll be nothing left
Every mirror
Will be full of regret

Only the burnt pages
Will have my tale
To echo through the ages
That no one will ever hear

I'll be forgotten
And I'll be no more
I'll be gone
With part of my cold

Part of my cold , that my  every breath beholds
676 · Jan 2014
what 'god'?
aviisevil Jan 2014
What 'god' do people talk about ?
When they say "he wont show himself untill you believe"
Maybe it's something I know nothing about
I'm wise but not a priest!
That he wont find us
if he's not found
What type of 'god' is he?
Who needs a prayer to be around
And what do they mean
When they say
"be true to him or else you'll be packed straight for hell"
So if we are atheists he just wont help?
Is he the same god who preached
Of equality and love
That no matter who or what you are
In his kingdom no one's 'gonna judge
That all man is same
And kindness defines a mans worth
A bad man with faith is good ?
But a good man with no faith, not so much?
Is he the same 'god'
My momma told me about ?
That he's the one who leads the way
When one's in doubt
Or is he the 'god' they know so well
They look so sure but I cant tell
If its ignorance or just old faith
What is it - their blind love or hate ?
And some of them just cant wait
To lay accross a point that their god is better
And so so great
What!.. There is more than one?
Different 'gods' for everyone!?
And if its true
What is religion if not his propaganda
And what are we if not his slaves
I have a question..
did he give guideliness
For the stupid rules we make ?
I say , why run behind things we cant understand
And portray our faith as pure
'cause if he truly exists
These things woudnt even matter anymore
Would you stop being kind and true
If tomorrow he didn't exist
What about the temptations you hide
Would you be able to resisit ?
And would you be the same
If you found out you really are alone
Or would you change
And thrash what once you called your home ?
Why build walls of glass
Which can be easily shattered
Be true and kind nonethless
And you'll find his existence dosen't really matter
675 · Jan 2014
Thorns stabs the rose
aviisevil Jan 2014
Clouds of smoke
Throwing down little pieces of pain
As I walk down the lonely road
Upon the puddle of memories left behind by rain

The sky is bleeding , weeping for a lost cause
As I march on , without a pause
The cold embrace of defeat , tearing me apart
The winds whispering , the screams of a broken heart

We're all like thorns
Guarding the roses we love
Ugly inside and out
As we dream of the beautiful



The thorns are finally stabbing
The roses they guarded For pride
Lusting for blood , let the beauty
bleed the say with a sick smile
Been Ignored too long , that the love has finally died
673 · Jun 2015
empty chair
aviisevil Jun 2015
different faces
same places
laughing and howling
civil natives
showing the shine
of the cursed gold
painted in the dark
beneath the bark of
the tree crooked and old
where the skeleton remains
in bones and a tounge
whispering the night
for the old and young
them lords and 'em ghosts
those chains that bind
breathing the ashes
of the dead left behind
in that cold empty corner
behind the pines and far
through the dusky road
at this lonely hour
There i sit,
there i hear
dark and gloom
loud and clear
Notes (optional)
672 · Jan 2014
religion kills the man
aviisevil Jan 2014
Man made religion and now religion makes a man
Man controlled religion and now religion controls a man
They say religion unites when it only separates
It preaches peace only to render us desperate
It teaches us to be kind , to love , to do good everyday
And all we ever learned is to destroy And hate
man killed religion now religion kills the man
671 · Oct 2017
No country for the ugly
aviisevil Oct 2017
there's face on my face
and it's wearing a smile
there's a face within my face
soaked in tears, full of fear.

there is no mask,
just scars and marks.

and a portrait with nails
poking out.

there's a picture
with a thousand words
and no meaning.

you can find me
in my nightmares
eyes wide open and
dreaming.

i make sense when
it is convenient.

i like dark comedy
when i'm alone.

i like random.
i love chaos.

everything has a meaning,
how boring.

can you tell me
if i am right.

i made no sense
but it's alright.

the bar is low,
so nobody crosses over.

for i know what it
takes to be human.

have a heart and not
to see things get over.

to feel low,
on a mountain peak.

there's something
about loneliness,
that makes silence speak.

i love stars,
and scars.

rain and thunder.

to observe from
a distance, and
wonder.

i'm distant and i,
wander.

with lust and dust,
in equal parts.

i'm not a machine,
but i'm mechanical
if they ever tear me apart.

i'm nothing,
and you won't ever
remember my name.

but that's alright,
i'm the greatest.

and i have no problem,
repeating myself again.

i'm no one,
absolute in my
nothingness.

there's sadness and
my ego at war.

they say be humble.

they say be polite.

but there's no country
for the ugly.

and that's alright.

i've never been
anything else.

tell me i'm pretty
and buy me petty things.

i'll be your slave
and you can be the king.

just tell me
i'm beautiful too,
and i'll show you my
face, and you'll know
what's true.
671 · Jun 2017
and it's silence
aviisevil Jun 2017
monsters under my bed
monsters in my mind
masters in my head
whispering to me blind

voices that are gone
come back to remind

my heart begs to mourn
afraid of what my eyes will find

the silence begins to roam
and i'm back in rome
on a colossal tide

travelling back and forth
between love and loath

i'd rather have them both
open my scars fresh and wide

in a room so silent
where sound travels
faster than light

here darkness resides
in lust and fright

wandering all night
with stars to hide

photos to like
memories have lied

to all those who have died

since past

when it all began
with plight

of all those who have cried
but died

yet, i want to be there still
wide open
when a lonely heart
begins to beat

begging to be free
but in a delusion
that cold is just
absence of heat

give me a pill to be enlightened
and i'll set fire to every thing

for the chaos is
just a form of silence
some thing's aren't
meant to breed

so, have you been
in a thought so violent
that everything around
starts to bleed

filling the emptiness
with opulence
a forest made up
of lonely seeds

ready to feed, steady and asleep
in this silence
you can taste the essence
of the universe rearing to be free
telling tales
of men and monsters

and of everything that came to be
We're all so tiny.
669 · Jun 2016
Once upon a december
aviisevil Jun 2016
you were a bird
locked inside a cage
and I set you free

I watched you fly high
so far away from me

looking back as I recall
it was all my fault
between you and dreams
I got caught

you were the scar
that my tears could never fill
now that I think about it
the thought makes me ill

how much we give up
for just a moment of peace
somewhere between memories
those people leave
and all that is left
buried and kept
is the pain
we cannot weep


in your eyes
I saw the lies that were true
you never turned back
and the distance grew
I waited patiently
for another eternity
but our love
couldn't make it through

they say it's ugly
what love does
what we do
it hurts so much more
when it's true


you were the heart
I placed inside my own
but the kids are lost
and the years have grown
far from our reach
there was nothing for us to keep
and when the smiles faded
there was no one left to mourn


you were the night
I lost myself in your arms
bleeding and falling apart
your voice kept me calm

holding together
what was left inside
once upon a december
you brought me back to life


now the winter falls again
and I seek your warm

no matter how much I cried
you were gone

cometh another spring
I still wait for you

beside the cage, alone.
667 · Feb 2014
Sing you a Sad Song
aviisevil Feb 2014
Sometimes I feel like
I've felt everything there's to feel
Now I'm all bled out
And there's just nothing left in me

So here's another sad song
'cause I have no other words left on me
So here's one more sad song
Wishing there was some place else I could be

I won't tell you how alone I am
because I know you would hear
I'll hold all my pain deep inside
Because I know you wouldn't care

I won't take you to the dark place
Where all my hurt still lingers on
I would just get on that dark stage
And start singing you a sad song

Few words from my heart
That I know will never reach yours
But I'll still keep singing on
'cause I don't want to be left alone

I'll pluck those strings
Like I used to caress her face
Softly and in rhythm
Like a longing for an embrace

Her wooden heart will cry for me
And I'll gently wipe off those tears
Her wooden soul will sing With me
For a moment we'll forget all we bear


So here's another sad song
'cause I have no other words left on me
So here's one more sad song
Wishing there was some place else I could be


I will take you to the happy days
So you'll know why I sing a sad song
I don't beg but I want you to stay
I swear  it won't take that long

I will tell you about my sorrows
But there's so much more I won't tell
I don't expect you to follow
'cause I know you've never seen hell

I will lay my heart before you
you can stomp on it if you choose
But this stage is my redemption
Please, for a moment let me cut loose


So here's another sad song
'cause I have no other words left on me
So here's one more sad song
Wishing there was some place else I could be

I'll tell you about the choices I made
And the road that I travelled  upon
I will take you to emptiness I've seen
I just hope you can make it along

I'll tell why it's so hard to sleep
Why I wake up every night with a scream
Sometimes I will smile when I'll weep
Remembering that it wasn't just a dream  

Than I will look in your eyes
To see if you've felt everything I feel
I'll sing to you all the night
Till there's nothing more left in me

So here's another sad song
'cause I have no other words left on me
So here's one more sad song
Wishing there was some place else I could be

I won't tell you how alone I am
because I know you would hear
I'll hold all my pain deep inside
Because I know you wouldn't care

I won't take you to the dark place
Where all my hurt still lingers on
I would just get on that dark stage
And start singing you a sad song
667 · May 2016
when the tears have dried
aviisevil May 2016
i remember her eyes
the tears
and silence

silence of saying good-bye
never knowning the violence
that comes after
when the tears have dried

so many thoughts have died
in tears
since there was a spring

always burning
always returning
to a december deep within
forever

in her smile
that i cannot let fade
ever
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