The path has narrowed
And these tears haven't dried
You are different, the tide has changed its course

The second life, has hidden your true self and a mirror image has taken over
But it doesn't sound like you

My heart has experienced more anguish than love
My pain is deep, more than failed plans
Opposite *** oppositions

These scars are here, they don't show up in the notes
They just swim around in my mind
Front stroke, back stroke
Glass after glasses
I always look for you

But these etched patterns have cracked
The trace you left, is all but a big mess

And time is all over and over,
Rinse and repeat
Time is not forgiving

I'm on my own again

I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place
I love you, this is
Undeniable
But I do not love you the way you wish me too
These fruit flies flying through the air
Make me swat the harsh times away
I have discovered that,
I cannot love the way young love does
I cannot be something you lean on
I cannot even lean my own shoulders
The future is grand, but I’m leaving you
I love you, but I cannot love you

My imaginary best friend made me cry again tonight
My tears leave stains on my cheekbones
My insides feel weak, and sad
He has an imaginary girlfriend,
Let me feel the pain I caused,  
I promise you,  I remember
New days call for new beginnings
Whatever it takes to find some place to call home

I never want to wake up, now that you aren't the first thing I see,
Just the last thing I think of before I fall asleep

Stay with me,
Hold my hand,
Let me go,
Another broken heart's;  Last Stand

Keep me close,
Never let me go
Stay with me,
Let me face, the seeds that I have sewn

Turn on my light,
Let me see the shadows play
Shut my door,
Walk away and leave me;  stay

I should know by now,
Hold my heart, hold my head
I should know how,
To ask you to stay and let it be said

Well it seems that I have spun out of control
Days running by, pathetic and unfulfilled
Turning around, to find the place I once found
But the road disappears as the next sunsets

So I’ll keep on walking,
Making music in my head,
For I have not been able to strum a chord
I cannot stay in one place,
Apartment syndrome
My lease is up next week

No place to call home,
I just keep on walking
Trying to figure out which way to go

Sell my things, to the greater good
Just a mattress, some clothes on my back
A half smoked joint,
I have been holding on to
Some point, I will learn to love
And confess my soul, in a simple 3-chord lullaby

I still believe, music makes us listen,
Say the things in such poetic justice
Combining all of our insecurities
All of our woes, and disbeliefs
Bringing us closer together, being able to trust us

It's here again
It's you again,
I can't breathe
Hyperventilating
Single Tears again
Dry Heave
Cough to catch my breath
Eyes get wet
You smell the same as yesterday

I am a shell
Someone I used to know
A memory of a shattered soul

I used to be someone
Who had something to say
Someone had an opinon

I used to see the day
Sunlight, on my face
The clue clouds
And even sometimes, the rain

I used to

I am a shell now
So many burns and horror stories
So many heartbreaks
My chest of drawers
My infinite sorrows
I let them go unnoticed

They never see the surface
I hide them on purpose

I am shell now
An empty home
Looking for a new place
A new place to hang my hat
And loved

Judge me, please judge me tell me what I don’t see, let me know what a stranger thinks. Is this skirt too short for you? Is my hair too tangled for you? Please I need to figure a few things out and this would clarify a few small holes that seemed to have appeared. You think my breath stinks? Ohhh I’m not wearing enough make up? Well speak up! Wait is it? Look I’m so lost at the moment that you might just need to leave a message. Find some paper and a pen on the floor there’s a sharpie over there, write something’s down, some f.y.i.’s for me to ponder on when I come out from under my bed. Let me quickly brush my teeth, the dynamic of my mouth is off-putting. My belly button kind of hurts and the speakers on my computer are disgusting so silence might be actually easier to handle right now. I have felt tipsy all day, swaying back and forth and my mouth is all scratchy and it hurts to swallow; like a shot. Where is Christina? Why hasn’t she called yet? The party starts at 9 and it’s already 8:37. I hope she is alright. She’s just probably laying in the tub, listening to the national or Angus and Julia. Who knows? I hope I see her soon I want to start drinking, and I am already high.

Paint the times in a whim of white and black
Paint the days a foreign red and none other than disbelief
Its going to be alright, if your pain reflects colours

Come into me
Change your days; make them bleed into one,
Don’t worry about the future

Your hair may stand up and your feet,
They probably will swell
But, can you grow old with me


Just you and myself,
Don’t worry about the ever after
Just be,


Always, let it be,

Just let it be

I take your voice wherever I go,
I don’t wish too,
I wait for you, but you never waited for me, to find
Whatever I was trying to find
A heartbroken ending seems to never be the end
This t-shirt I made smells like you
And the words of Mike Rosenberg, say the things I tried too,
Accompanied metaphors I would never had thought of
Eyes are gathering droplets, and the days keep flipping by
Another year has come to a close, and still it is as if no time,
No time has past at all

Its back to school again,
Back with these artsy people again.

Time to start learning again,
Time to create again.

Think again,
Conform again.

Last Year.

If you need to lean, lean into me
Ill protect you from the swallowing sea
No wrong will be done by me
As you chase death with the deep

I get drunk to forget myself
And for a little while, pretend I am someone else
Tortured souls feel the most
And me myself and I, don't mean to boast
But I've seen all the coasts

Swallowing me up whole
Pretty words don't mean much when I constantly drink in the ugly
I used to think alone was better
That if I was the one to hurt me
It would feel better than leave myself open for someone to scar me

But the winter winds are blowing from the skies
And this autumn jacket lining is frail and thin

Sipping on bottles of reoccurring notions
Soaring through broken promises

Don't leave me lonely
One foot, another day
Once more, the hallowing wind

I think too much about this Lego House
And that the life I am leading is causing me the strife I deal with today
I feel too much, take everything in and store it,
Never let it surface
I hate conflict and fighting but it's taking over the vacant parts of me
And I am boiling over because of petty things
I feel it all, these houses and these walls
I want to slam this door shut
Watch the timber snap
The trap door to freedom
But I can't find an exit
Bursting to find an out
I am locked in these cages of 1556

Sometimes the world shatters
And I fall underneath the weight
This balloon of wonder
Crumbles me at the brink
Life is a game
Of there’s and now’s
The future and first times
Of I definitely know how
Our generation
So used to “I want’s”
Premature ejaculations
And notorious taunts
Life is a game
That we all must play
Roll the dice of luck
And sustain the pain
Be the greater good
Something for our children
And cherish the world
That we were given

In this valley, of evergreen and blue skies
This is the place where I ran away to let my old self die
Let rest of that adolescence
Raise from though chains and ashes

I am on my way to something to call home
A place when I can put my feet up and be alone
Hiding from the people and lights
Maybe this time I can sleep through the night

Maybe this time I would put up a fight

I am going forward to an unknown place
Drowning in cigarettes and bottles of broken space
Whiskey breath and yellow stains
Off kilter and swaying lanes

Maybe Ill be alright, Ill be alright

I am finding my steps, my footing
It usually starts to work when you’re not looking
Close my eyes and see what this world is giving
Promise myself to live a life worth living

If I don’t try, all my friends will go away,
All my dreams will melt away
Oh,
What a day is today
What a day such as change

It hits me out of nowhere
All of a sudden this overwhelming sadness takes over
And crashes in to me
I feel depressed and hopeless
I feel numb again
My knees go weak
And I am kneeling on the floor
Crying into your sweater
Wishing I could change my story
But this is no invisible ink
And life is no storybook

I refuse to let the party die
I never want the high to go away
The thrill of being able to say,
What you want to say

And in that moment
You figure out
That you're drunk,

Come, monday
You'll be in a single, twin bed
Waking up to a phone alarm
Wondering how you ended up here
Miles away from home

He sleeps
How silently he sleeps

Safe from drunken misdemeanors
Safe from incoherent talk

I think I love him
Second love,

It's unknown territory
It’s the Yukon

Should I leave this alone?  
This is unknown territory

Please do not look at my ****** interpretations  
Just please, just please answer

And leave it alone

Love is not easy,
It isn’t black and white
Its not as simple as, I do

Its tough
Its confusing
Its something I'd love to quit

But he gets it
And he knows what I say
He gets it

Love their loves

He’ll take his time
And he’ll wait

Because he says he loves me
And my eyes are pouring

The glass isn't broken, it's cracked and chipped and leaking everywhere

It's loosing volume and life unravels
Having good times, unwinding
It's become a time not worth
Remembering
It's not hide and seak

It's **** up or shut up


My fingers are going numb
Arm is falling asleep
Times to close my eyes

We are distracted by reality shows
And the newest iPod or MacBook
Spell check even corrects the ipod to iPod
Materialism will be the end of our freedom
And the dependence on consumer products and imported goods
Technically, Technology is a blessing and a curse
Memories of the good ol’ days will die
Hard

I should sleep
I should let my self,
Let my self fall into the arms of him
And the subtle comforts of my greatly appreciated mattress
Let me sleep
And let my eyes rest
If only I was capable of letting people in; truly letting them in
And let us fall to silence

Memories fade
Everyday
They fade
You’ll forget the details
The place, or the time
The conversation, of why you could not stop laughing
Memories disappear
Slip between our fingers
And are lost like a grain of sand
Camouflaged as a painting
Dressed up like a white knight
They say memories fade
And that time heals all wounds
Let time wash away the guilt
The pain of today
Watch the clock evaporate into the wall
As the minute hand spins out of control
And my head starts to ache
A hole is bleeding into my chest
They fade; memories do fade
But they come back, clear as day
And the pain is as real
As dagger in your back
…. And it starts all over again

Merry Christmas, you filthy animal
Here is a scarf to pay your rent
And some of this seasons slippers to eat
You had the world within your grip: I gave it to you
Why bother with education, you just graduated
Just so you know, I wont help you and you’ll never leave
You’ll never make it, Mary has been nothing but nice to you
You are welcome to come down and eat with us

*That wont be an awkward conversation

I’m hiding my emotions,
I stare into the blank road,
Watch the people pass,
Winter winds blow
The shoes on my feet,
Wet with snow
Why I cannot have a peaceful dream
I am tainted with you,
I can only write about you,
It’s always been there,
But you ruined me,
****** me up,
I ****** up you too.
I miss you,
Its still only you
The stars I see, you see too

The moon is so bright tonight
The black velvet sheet of the night
is riddled with stars

Patiently waiting, for lightyears to come
For us to see the stars light fade
Until we can not wish upon them
And the sky is sure to turn to shade

Is it just the clothes that you are under?
Or is it your lack of posture and lack of personal portrayal
That weighs you down,  
The judging glances, and the marks your leggings make on your thighs
Its no wonder you are drinking your self to sleep,
Stuck in a rut, that no one sees you’re in
Just counting the cans and emptying the ashtrays
As your liver shrivels up and your lungs turn into charcoal
Spending your days in a lightless basement suite
Listening to British gentlemen, safe and tucked away,
From all the horrors of this crazed world of life and lust
All the sins I have committed leave me stained
With redden lips and a headache,
This glass of liquid ***** my memory and me

Never Neverland is the place where dreams come true
Where you don’t have to be serious, don’t have to grow up
Where Peter is the one to follow and ensures that the everlasting imagination is forever
You can run around in your underwear and no one would notice,
Go get worms by the fireside and tell them to come play
Astronauts, doctors, photographers are all dreams reachable
In Never Neverland you are safe from teenagers torment
Or weight weighing you down, every time you count the calories of a *******
Never Neverland is a place of wonder, a place of intrigue
And where memories don’t fade, everything is everything
And everyone is part of some huge inner circle
Giggling and building forts

It’s not a simple heartbreak; it’s not a Band-Aid situation
It’s an incurable ache that is deep within my bones
I would love for this phase to be over with
I would love to get you off my mind
Its getting old, this is my final goodbye
You are embarrassing yourself by ignoring me
And I am embarrassing my friends by bringing you up
Goodbye,
It’s a big world full of people
It’s not just about you
It can’t be anymore
It’s a broken record
Seven years, bad luck
You’re so last summer
I would love nothing more than to forget you
Forget you ever had my heart
That I ever let you in
That I ever cared

I am hopeful now
Walking the seawall straightens me out
The clouds and the waters
One foot in front of the other

Walking the seawall
To my day to day
The choices I've made

One foot in front of the other
Dogs on leashes
Babies in strollers
Or on daddies in front

The seawall
Windy and peaceful
One foot in front of the other

Birds eat
Fresh crab meat
The circle of life
Tug of war
One foot in front of the other

Runners run.
Cyclists, bike
Childs play

The walk to work
One foot in front of the other

Make up, on silk clothes
And those crazy one stand offs
And the times of soggy sandwhiches
And the years in our hair,
Could have been the tears from our tongues

The thing that conquers me the most
Is the things we cannot achieve,
The notches in and under our sleeves
The nights we conceive, the things we never need
The winds and the trees,
Its time to remember, nights like these

Love is a fickle thing,
It’s all around, in the small details
Sometimes it’s just a bit harder to find for some people
But it is there, hiding in the bushes or underneath your pride and fear

I found out, you got to let it find you,
You cannot go look for it; it doesn’t quite work that way
It finds you when you need it too

When you’re ready to be yourself and comfortable in your own skin
It will find you then

When you least expect it, it will creep up on you
And life as you know it will be over

Hopelessly romantically over
Love actually does exist

It is funny how we can get to be ourselves with strangers
Our complete truest version of us
No guards up and no painted window panes
To be able to stare through, untainted reflections

Our deep dark secrets and or biggest fears
To confess them in rapid succession
And not feel the need to hold back

It is funny, how we need to hide away ourselves
From the ones who love and know us best
Constantly dancing around the fullest truth of truths

Strangers don't know us, nor do they probably even care
The obligatory third party
Just sit and listen

Let the masks drop, and the honestly flourish
Online profiles make for free therapy
And self awareness

Times flies as the petals fade to bloom
When the lavender stains the mist scented
The aroma will polish your fantasies purple
And send your souvenirs to dust
Leaving you winded,
   and alone

Phantom butterflies attempt to defile metal
Pour gasoline on the cultures masquerade
Eat the remains of a tainted youth’s rebellion
While their wings collapse and rip the law
Of reason apart
Mocking their majesties’ and burning their silk
Letting the pillars crash to the sand
Leaving only the exiled to pick up the ruminants of a
Flourished dream

Watch; watch the view, the view beside you
Paint the sky with subtle greys and blues
Watch the wind, dusting the evergreen

The summer sadness has begun
The birds wake me up before my alarm
The springtime construction hurts my ears
And I end up sleeping with my past

The city walks from beneath my feet
Only geometric shapes and sharp colours
No faces for naming
Pink flowers, and eggshell buildings

One more late night excursion
One more one night stand
With yet another wrong one

The wind blows me around like a plastic bag
Circles me around floating high above

Feet searching for the end of the bed
Trying to stand on solid hardwood

I don't know or I can cease to remember how I got here
How these are things that occupy my mind
How to cross the street and wait for the light to green
To convince myself
I need liquid courage
To let these moments manifest in my thick presence

I am different, hardly recognize me
I've changed, and I don't think I like this mirror image of what I would be
Compared to who stares back at me

I can't remember when I starting running
Or what I was running from,
Just kept the earth under my feet
as I kept moving on

Be like the wind, go where you're blown too
Oh, twenty-five steps to the west,
I am bird without a sense of direction
Without a home, with no nest

Running away,
Saved me from loss and kept my self made wall intact
Only seeking solace from leather bound lines and spilt ink
When I look over my shoulder, nothing there, to look back at

These walls I have built, and these races I have run
Kept me safe from others,
Kept me whole, and running
Cities one right after the other

And now I am here, music for my heart
And words for my soul
Collecting memories I missed out on
And lovers that went wrong

Run,
I just run

Shake the love from your chest
Let it die with your last "I remember when.."
Roll away the stone that barricades yourself from yourself
Let your impulse make the wrong or right decision
Its not the long walk home, that will make your actions turn into vulnerability
But the courage to face them, makes the harshness disappear
And you had no right to take this heart,
So *******,

The picnic bench foils under the body weight of my half drunk self
There is a cat cuddling up to me, with her tail

Pink Floyd plays in the background, as the cat brushes up against my legs
Brings a feeling like something of the loch ness Nessie

Shirley sits beside me, watching the night sky
And focussing on my presence and cigarette smoke

I pet her, and she stays
Smoke and inhale
The cars bustle by

The final places of another busy day
The wall is built and she stays beside me

But she now has disappeared
Inhale, exhale
Smoke my smoke
And drink my 4th beer

Shoot me down
Exploit my death
To Monroe, Cobain, and Lennon
For all I care,
It's not like they died fashionably

I sit; I sit in a curled up ball of skin and tattoos
I sit; I sit naked on the floor of my shower
The water flowing over my rolls and dripping from my hair
You think you understand the haste of my rash conflictions
I try to live the lie out, I try to peruse the ever after
I hold the flame underneath the water, and wonder why I am cold?
How does the pain of life subside?
How do I become millions and then back to debt?
Opened my eyes under water, and I am freed of tears

I am trying to sleep, but I can't sleep
My mind is caught up with the last words you said to me,
You put phrases into my mouth, words that were never said
Your tunnel vision has you confused and misled

I wish I could find humour in how you shifted
Changed the song and left me alone
Everyone leaves me in slime
To fight off the dogs with a dull knife
A stitched up heart muscle

I really never thought, you would be the one whose hands, the blood was on
I thought those couple hours I needed you would be enough
They would have

If you even bothered to show up

Sleep tight
It is time to dream
Rest now darling
Tomorrow you will see,

Dream child
The black night will do you no harm
While you sleep, dancers dance
And poets speak

Don’t worry; your parents will be fine
The loud noise wasn’t a thief

Wisdom comes from those who lived
Remember that
Live and let go
Sleep

Time for sleep, the sleep of the week
So now it's sleep
Memory of tonight
The conversations
They are now "don't you remember"

*Fill to me that parting glass
Goodnight and joy be to you all

Beware of Slender man
Mother Dearest, Dead
Trapped with the thoughts in my head
I wanted to be free, lean into the wind and breathe
But life isn't easy for me
It's difficult for me to believe
I'll be okay

I’m not a **** I'm reckless
Im not a *****, I am confused
Pulling at strings
Grasping for an out
Trying to figure out, up from left
Wondering if birds are truly free?
Or if they’re chained to the sky
Like that one guy said

I prefer to watch the world
From my perched position on the beach
With my sweater and a woolen hat
Watch the world float on by,
Depression isn't a cop out, not trying to be a recluse
Just some days I don't want to leave my room
Not playing hookey from life
Sometimes I just don't want life
Just give up for weeks on end
Safe, locked tight underneath the covers
Under endless hours of reality
Sometimes I just want to be okay
Sometimes crying myself to sleep is all I know
Ill regret the times wasted dreaming endless sleep
But dreams are dreams and could you,
Dream one for me?