Spare bricks for the wall that could never find a successor
Collect historical evidence, as we forgot the books we read
Seems the songs have all been sung, all the strings have snapped
Fallen battles man, fought men and children
Worms and you, filling your 2 bedrooms with another self made reality
MTV created a life of insta, what do they even contribute?

Snooki lives in a basement, and heroes in everyday rags
Hunter S. blew his brains out, where has his words scattered?

Little black books, with numbers and phrases
To choose from the moments I created
Disowned onto a 3-hole punch line

And yet my mind seems vacant with all these empty trophies reflecting…

Chained to a world our parents knew, stuck with the ideals of an old dream
Trying to find out how it all, somehow, disappeared,
Struggling to find new ways to make the pieces fit

Is there anyone home?
The piano rings the last note,
As the day breaks from another clouded illusion
**"Of what is and was"

Spiny jellyfish
Tucked in her curves
Twinkles her tentacles
At the sun
Rising with the waves
That make her go every which way
To the east or to the west
She just goes with the flow
Letting the current pull her through
The oceans pressure and blow holes
Spineless jellyfish
Drifts through the waters,
To the left and to the right
And floats with the waves
In an endless sea of time

This world I see before me
Full of flowers and blossom trees
Sometimes these nights get so dry
Watching the stars go by

Twisted bones and a twist of luck
Never wanted this all that much
Reach for the stars and youll land on the moon
Its time for my dreams to start coming true  

Another day spent getting up before dawn
Attempting to be perfect, two hours later its wrong
Breaking bones burning skin
And one year later, I am still not fitting in

I want to work for my silver lining
So tired of cooking, all it was, was timing
Step outside the comfort zone,
I wont take the easy road

Pick up the pen, put down the spoon
Writing before dawn, still going around noon
This is what I want to do,
Its time for my dreams to start coming true

I struggle through school
I struggle through my emotions
Everyday is a challenge
I put up a jubilant front
But sometimes I get low
Grow into a ball of limbs and torso
Wrapping myself away,
Creating a shell of ifs and whens
Hot flashes and sweated dreams
Constantly spinning out of control and back again
Living for the remember, times past seem like moments better then they should
And I sit on my mattress and sheets
Circling in and out of depression

I ****** it up again,
My mind torn, and spent again
Trying to cling to something resembling a blood pool
Broken bones and cracked hearts
And I isolate myself with bottles of broken dreams
Tearing away people, revolving around t.v. shows
Stuck in a rut, I want to be in
Drowning from baseballs aimed at my vocal chords
Stuck in my head, feet won't reach the end of my bed
Stuck in a place
I can not embrace, life as it has unfolded for me

My glasses are foggy
There's water leaking from my eyes
There's a lump in my heart
And a pain in my chest

The subtle reminders of a heart broken and never found

My brain is mush
My head is pain
My thoughts seem to flourish under rain

My hands shake
And my skin, cold
I am young
But feel incredibly old

Inhale the smoke
breathe in and out
stains on my skin
and feel in your doubts

Exhale your quos
Like the night
And your nightmare of woes

Fall down, in a blanket of leaves
The feel of a stale breeze

Shiver in the presence of fall
Drink, another one, you just

Succumb to it all

Why are my dreams haunted with the past?
Why can I not just live and let live,
Do I love misery?
Do I love being a pawn in this depression game?
Even though, I hold all the cards,
Do I not want to let the past die?
Wake up with the last I remember when?
You seem to be some kind of disease,
That flourishes when I try to be some kind of writer
Art never came from happiness, isn’t that what they say?
Do I love reflecting on the past?
Do I not want to let you go?
I don’t,
Missing something you let go makes you crumble,

Couple to help me fall asleep
Couple to make me less socially awkward
Couple because it's something to pass the time
To help unwind

Loud people yelling in kingsgate
Then the faint stare of nighttime noises
Dog chains, house keys
Then nothing

City silence
Ambient sounds
Quarter to one
Bikes are closer than the cars

Smoking my last cigarette
The city bows out
A well oiled machine
Inhale, exhale now

The cocktail dress split hope down the screen
Letting that reoccurring dream compel me
Into memories of you
The clink of my cup
Shattered sobriety with the pain of daybreak
The ice looks like crystal but only something that will disappear and overflow your glass is standing at attention
The bar stool cracked, empty and the faux leather ripped, and torn
Cougars and MILFs strut down the bar top
Scanning tonight’s bachelors
I sit behind, for my dress is long and flannel
Heavy, hot making me sweat and stink
I run faster than a cheetah in my mind
Tearing doors and bridges apart
Speeding towards the sunrise
Attempting for the *** of gold
The cocktail drips from the table on to the floor
A puddle I will eventually slip from
Hair in my face
My ankle sundress reaped with alcohol
I stand up, look around
Towel?
But all I see is you
Walking back slowly retreating to the door
Leaving me to deal and regret the decisions
I so poorly execute

I wish I could write like Paul Simon,
“Time hurries on” As the days go from day to night
And the words had my head dissipates with the morning light
“Be careful, his bowtie is really a camera”
Constantly viewing things in different ways,
Books and books of my scribbled mumbles,
Only writing when I am constant, transient,
Wishing, for a cigarette, I know, Ill have to wait
Trying to bring the darkness onto paper
Trying to narrate some internal monologue between my selves
To spew out those tarnished replicas
To unleash the butterflies
While drowning the wings, with a technical solution
...The dangling conversation, reflecting the rhymes,
superficial lies,
The time of our lives
reaped with cobwebs in my mind

My eyes fixated on the rear view
The water is overflowing
The walls are caving in
My body is moving ever slowly

So young at heart
So old in my bones
Weakened by another busy dinner date
Burning and Breaking myself
For something I am merely good at

My childhood dreams have seemed to become something so out of reach

To create new ones that seem more sustainable

Is a rose by any other name

The girl with the book, sitting alone at the bar
Sipping her 16oz glass, head in her pages

A quiet moment, surrounded by strangers
To be alone in your head, but programmed to be present in the normality of reality

To write in a public space but to avoid conversation
But welcome it, when it presents itself

To live without a penalty of, if, things don’t go your way,
Or to have the lines and be able to overthrow them

To meet new friends and be introduced to others

And to find out that we all need a quiet moment
In the middle of strangers

Ill just wake up with the sun
I appreciate the effort
The sad sign of romance
The trueness of a goodnight kiss
Goodnight my chivalry




The vagabond is striking matches
The harmonica wont squeal the way it should
It wont hmm the way it did
The music has changed


The music had changed

The nights are few and scattered
The memories last forever
I cant seem to want to stop
Listening to your tune
Replaying it,
Over and over
Thinking if I wish it will be different
Something could from silence
But I know that’s just wishing on a lucky pair of snake eyes
I don’t gamble,
But I just cannot seem to let the object of my affection
Reach anywhere but you

I cant breathe
These cigarettes are making me faint
These stairs I climb to come home
Seem like a never-ending stairwell, I can never seem to conquer
I fall victim to these beers to make me some lyrical and woeful
To unleash the words that writer’s block ties from my sobriety
To show I am a somebody who can write down the things people cannot bare to tell
To let these emotions I hide and tuck away,
Have them come to the surface, break way for the futile few who never could
The colours of the wind and the true colours of our society

The time has come for restless sleep
The sleep of incoherent and obliterated fools
The wallows and petty dreams
Of the followed few,
The dreamers and peace believers
Desire a harmony that will create peace on earth
However, future does not peruse happiness or companionship

Greed and hate
The *******

Grab it fast

The system works backwards
Unsync from the rest
My tears drown my face
Pouring from my chest

Lying still in this hollow hole
A raindrop falls from the sky
Hits the cold unworthy flesh
As I am lowered to be held high

There’s too many of us
Conflicting each other’s thoughts and porous
Too obsessed with our reflections
To see the truth behind the clouded horizon
Pay attention child, you just might not make it to 2030
The earth is shattering behind delusion
But everyone is so wrapped up in Facebook
No one looks outside their windows anymore
The sun is a burning memory

I cant sleep,
Thoughts keep floating around my brain
Thoughts of you, mostly thoughts of how I am going to **** this up
Thoughts, of when you'll leave me

Everyone tells me this is a good thing,
Everyone tells me this is a good thing

But I cant help feeling this is the start of something terrible
Because if I fall, fall hard, for you
I'll have something to lose,
And that something would be you

Music of the night,
Singing soft refrains of starlight and secret keeping shadows
The sidewalks disappear from sight, as I long for a streetlamp
To light my darkened days home
Commercials and commuters passing me by
As the life of my iPod slowly dissipates,
I hear life, without someone else’s interpretation of what
Of what I see, and of what I know
Forced to construct my own ideals, my own words of what
And of how, And if
I’ll ever make it,    
Proving to myself that failure is just a stepping stone to success
Before I pull my hair out and plump up like a pumpkin
I’ll tie my shoes and head for the door

Time makes fools of us all
Leaving us with our head in our hands
Left the important things to the very last
& they keep moving on with or without us
Taking the names in the sand with it
It just keeps moving on
Spinning around our fears and following the sun
Regretting the things that were left in silence
Hoping the puzzle pieces would just happen
Time will never slow down to meet your needs
We just hope  that one day, we will be able,
Be able to catch up
Make the days blend into one
And our dreams of us could become
Once upon a time

The time for change has come
And once again, life in boxes
Shoveling things into tiny spaces,
Getting ready for the future.

Off to my, one bedroom, one, alone
Third Floor, to the right, it’ll be home in one weeks time.
Its exciting and scary, a time of rebirth
Let in the new me, and say goodbye to the hermit.

Time to let myself experience the world through another looking glass
And not just be looking up from a basement with no noise cancelling headphones
And less tricks of your eye, as I say goodbye to this place of doubt and uncertainty

Strangers coming in, looking at the old lifestyle of a hopeless dreamer,
Messy thoughts and untidy illusions of the hope of time, and the thought of making

Promise

To be unable to sleep without a drink in my system
To be unable to feel love, but seek it
To not know what beholds for me
But crave something

I feel so incredibly alone,
Summer is over and my birthday is tomorrow
I feel so low, all time low
I need something to believe in,
A war to fight for
To serve a purpose other than plating overpriced proteins

I feel stuck, unable to get myself out of this rut

It is 6 in the morning and I haven't slept yet
Im not tired
Falling skies and exposed bricks

Life has proven to be hard for me
I feel it all, everything I've done wrong
But I just cant let love feel

I am so incredibly alone

Drinking wine from water bottles
Losing the feeling of upper class
It is just another bottle to dive into
The haunted house on Kirby road
The single lit candle in the abandoned bathroom
Dogs barking on chains
Signs screaming private property
Driving through graveyards
Ashing on the dead
In small towns the gas meters don’t matter
As the youth hunt for fear
Disturbing the peace to find
The little girls grave.

We used to be so close, under a blanket of clothes
We spent our days weighing the empty promises
And bottling up petty regrets and draining sorrows
It was really never all that perfect,
The stuff you remember was mine,
And the things I can not forget was all on you

Screaming, yelling, into stained reflections,
Mirrors telling me there is still some way of a connection
Mattresses against the wall, been curled up in a ball
Between the mattress and the wall

Everyone needs a place to be vulnerable
Find a time to sit down and try to be perfect
I am sick, sick of pretending we were meant to be
But I cannot get rid of you, and you still stay in my mind

Because I cannot let things go, I ponder, and dwell for far too long
And too long has been too long, and my life is spinning by
And I cannot seem to stop spinning
Our lives are no longer intertwined
And Ill be stepping aside,
Because our drive has subsided

And for the first time,
Ill still be able to look at you,
Where the pieces fall,
When the pieces fall,

Patient smile, smiles at dusk
Watching the junkies fulfil their truth
No art carried, no starbucks cup
The rain and windows long boarded up
The blind man strikes matches at the wall
Lines for soup and crack pipe smoke
Eyes with no face
Ghost like glare.

True Romance
What is that?
I think I had it, Once.

I let it go, thinking it would come back
It didn't
It died,
And now I'm alone

****** up not knowing who or what I have become or who I want to be
Pushed around, saying okay to these things people say
Because I don't know me,
And I don't know how to find me
Just trying to survive, to get by
Hoping my life will start
Tomorrow, on a different sea
A different way to be
It's only a couple more days
Till my life will start in the UK

Today is the day for the followed few
The ears of old and eyes of new
The fallen propaganda waves for notice
This ideal, this condominium – you chose it  
The pavement is harsh and burning
The trees need salvation: they’re yearning,
For the day of sun soaked shadows,
Not this boxed world framed from a window
Pick up your shoes: pull up your socks
Plan a plan, before it all just
stops

Here is the place, we once knew
Where all the colours of the rainbow,
Where they all came to die
The non-existent hues are overthrown by the contrast of past showers
As staring at an old photograph, curled and brown from light
The shadowless walls absorb the rays and consume them into a mere squint
Pushed back towards the white bricks as you struggle to balance yourself
Trying to explain but slurring speech is equivalent to my spelling
And the corner I am managed to find, is cold and bright too know, what this means

When you have no pockets to put your lighters in
And your nails are too long,
You find yourself on the balcony staring off
Staring off into the night sky

That soft, deep sea blue cast across your skyline

You catch a thought,
You think,
The simple things,
A glowing read star, could be mars

The thoughts I think, Smoking on my balcony

These people, these lines we cross
Sidewalk ways, and bike lane woes
In a constant commute,
Up and down the hill

Trees of green, skies of rain
Cloud coverage, and an acoustic prayer
Will you hear me scream?

Another soul, let out of the light
Hidden behind underground rails
No one sings like you,
Not anymore

Trying to drown the wet
Grasping for another vinyl melody
To drift,

What if I was waldo?
You would search page after page
Studying a painted picture
To find where I stand
Who would notice my stripes?
And trace their finger to meet bones
Or would you be that intolerable Attention Deficit Disordered kid
Who threw the paperbacks towards the wall
Because you couldn’t find me?
Do I still bother you, long after the freedoms of childhood are over?
If you found me on one page, who would quit
Who would keep searching?
Would you find my red shaggy cap
And throw in the towel
End that game of monopoly
Because it has already taken up much too much of your week
And your time
Who would stare.
Let the people and places blend into one
As if we were all waldo
Trying to be found

Wasted away

You lie to your place

You hurt the pathetic and polish your name

Your insides ache, while you baptises the sin

You ponder extinction as you pollute the path

Sky sets and you’re wasting away
The music harmonizes your unknown place

Blasts through your ears crushing the thunderess waves
Killing your eyes and feeding your thoughts
It stopped,

I have nothing else to say


Today was the day I wasted away.

What now
Found my dream, it came true
What now,
My dream is over and I am left empty

Vulnerability, it fits me like a glove
Running to find some kind of peaceful coexistence
Dressed in stress, killing each other,
Climbing the sale rack

Happiness seems to be close,
So close, but never in my hand
Shaking the tree of solace
Only to disrupt the peace and the harmony

What now,
Now, is time, to find a new dream

What if I met you in London, i would have an accent, I have lived there for years, and you are stopping by on a tour date for your latest album. And we meet at a coffee shop that is run short due to traffic issues. But we will cross paths again. I promise.

When i drink i write.

But i need a book... this computer doesn’t do my scribbles justice.

I cant write in crooked lines or upside down in Microsoft word.

I need a book

And a pen

Please and thank you.

..a red crayola marker will do..

But now i need a page...

Cue cards??? Noo... sketch book?

Maybe

Your life consists of working hard hours, for not enough pay, hard days
Good, great people
But nothingness consoles you at the end of the day
Nothing to live for and nothing to fight for
You have become a waste of space
You don't contribute
You second guess
You

All the time fighting the same battles
Your heart, your tongue, and your liver, your mind set and your waist line
You are so far removed what you wanted ten years ago

Fell into a pattern of pay cheque to pay cheque

Living through decisions and then later, they're regrets

You need a huge change. It is scary, but dockside was the best decision you have ever made

Step outside, from your shredded sheltered comfort zone, and branch out a little more

Do what you always knew you were born to do!

Go take photographs, that mean something

Make your life important again

Not another bottle and not another regret

Do what you want to do!

Go to war, take pictures

Make your life mean something

I am sick of all the deceit
All the things we tell ourselves
To make the day end
I am sick

Its never going to be enough for them,
It will not ever reach over the rainbow,
There is no *** of gold
Only a bowl full of ***  
And that’s all you’ll get

So fire up, put on your IRL shoes
And blow with the breeze,
Look at the little things that make you survive

Find whatever makes you feel complete
And darling, I think that just might

Just might,

Be you

Blackbird singing in the dead of night,  
Raven calling from the sky
Bluebirds calling from summer
Seagulls squawking from the alley

I have found something I lost
The state of euphoria is crumbled as your heart breaks
I lost a time when life was simple, when wondering was lustful
Instead found a time of hardship and unsettled communities
Sometimes I think what if the yellow brick road never continued to Oz
And if the clouds were always supported by blue
Californication with out the fault.
A witness to the empty sky

Flowers you have ruin my towers
My towers above chivalry and chauvinistic ideals
They push out the prohibitions of useless propaganda
For me, alcoholic toxins appeal to my lyrical woes
I think ambiguously when I feel numb and freed of obligations
And the curls of my toes,
Don’t wrinkle with the ties of man

I want to write
Sometimes I just want to write
Pen and ink, sight a beautiful sight
Create images, of dancing twilight
Ships sailing into the horizon
Wishing pennies in a fountain of
Wise hopes,
A kind bloke, seeking solace
And a clean robe
To seek shelter
And unwind of sorts

He goes to the basement, without a word he flys
To grab a sufficent sourse of numbness
To write freely and speak not so clearly
But to engage of times of the unknown and times of Modern times
The weather tide, the things of our demise
And the music rides, and the glass clinks
Goodbye to on time
hello to sweet dreams highs

Rummy is a card game
*** isn't for the hard weak
It's not win to fame when you're
Slugging back ***

It's not fun, it gags and try's to overthrow your reflexes
To misconcept your reasons
Why *** is for pirates and not for mere kitchen writers

The thought of romance
The glimpse of candlelight
The promise of lovely regret
And a flicker of hope
Though the shadow of heartache
Punctures through the ideals of love
The feelings linger as they did
That summer night, smoking bongs
And getting high,
The future solitude provides me
With the everlasting you

I am feeling more and more hopeless; the things I work for seem to be slipping,
I cannot remember the last time I was stress free, or smiled without force
Baking and braising seem to have become some of the only words I can muster
Whipping and traying are the only things I can get too
I have forgotten what it is like to achieve a dream: dreamt


At least I still have the power of solace, and the memory of time
The death of my childhood, and the birth of responsibility
I have become something my mother is proud of, and my father disowned
Empty spaces within the fridge magnets of lands afar,
The farther away, the closer to home,
Its slipping, life, loss, lust, its falling

Nothing to show for the things have done,
Killing myself and a hold over my lungs
I stopped eating when it slows me down
Shut my eyes, the doors are closed