motivation quickly dwindling
like the kindling on a fire
there is no desperate need for attention
but somedays its required

the fear of loneliness is rising in the horizon
...and i just broke my sunglasses

There was a bird flying above my head the other day.
I apologize for my stories delay.

The sun was out, the skies were blue - only quick glances today would do.
There is just something about birds, the way they cut through the sky.

Ugh. I wish I could fly.

My Grandmother absolutely loved birds - Cardinals specifically.
I have a few on my arm, so she and my Papa will never leave me.

They have been gone for quite a few years now...wow, how time flies.
Writing this is even bringing tears to my eyes.

I think that's why I like birds so much - I imagine they are my Grandparents.
Soaring the sky, exploring the world, checking in on me every now and then.

The year he left us, the Cardinals won the World Series.
The year she left us, the Cardinals lost the World Series.

Good one, Papa - I'm sure Grandma didn't appreciate your joke.

Each time you fly over me it brings a smile to my face and a tear to my eye, knowing you'll fly over me until the day I die.

the ocean between you and me* can sometimes feel like a
gleaming apollo. it just doesn't seem real though, the
jellyfish are murderers. here, look through my
kaleidoscope. it feels like  
a lesser coming home, if you know what i mean. but
when will you come home? hopefully by the next time i see
a snow flake in her hand. because i promise that
i will break you. and i'll take you. to the
caverns, where in the dark a
dance pianist plays. and on this trip i'll be
leaving the last behind. sit tight, youre not
leaving my waiting room, like in a
silent picture, where in it,
days all seem the same.

Flirting with my dreams, making them more real than they seem. One line at a time, take that how you like - I'm roller blading on the ceiling, while riding a six wheel bike. Biking down third avenue until I get to the store, open the second door to find a large dinosaur. His name was Tom, we had a good laugh. It came to an end when he ate Joe, the pale giraffe. With one eye open, reality just a wink away. Living in two worlds, both of which I want to stay. My dreams are coming a reality, or so it may seem. But I gotta go, Tom's chasing me.

It’s just a common essence to
deliver such a presence, not
relying on the presents so that
we can learn some lessons. Drift
off, far from being found. Scaling
mountains in a single bound.
Reaching a commonality, between
our normativity believing in controllability.

We sit, we relax, we breathe.

It’s all okay, nothing but a real dream, dreaming
about reality. Drifting out to sea, separating
everything between you and me.

We beg, we plead, we cry.

Wanting nothing, but for this dream to stay alive.
Without each other we feel lost, with
no place to hide. Pushed further away by an
increasing tide. Skies turn to black, before a
flash of light. Dream forgotten with the delivery
of sight. A flash of black and then light again,
the thought of such a dream, crossed the back
of my head. Dreams do come true, it just takes time.

I start my day, like any other.
Drinking coffee and blowing a line.

When everything is even,
why do I feel so odd?
Oddly enough, even without a job.
Jobless kiss, on the back of my neck
so gentle, even I don't fight back.
If odd is normal, am I even?

I can't afford happiness because I don't have enough money - laughing all the way to the bank, the rich think its funny. But they aren't happy, just living a lie. Blind to true happiness, they're just waiting to die. I may not be happy all the time, but I'm enjoying life - making every day mine.

I'm stuck at a red light that will eventually turn green. Giving me time to think of everything in-between. Stop and go, with the the occasional yellow. Slowing me down, making life more mellow.

Pretty soon all my lights will be green.

Pretty soon.

Ending with you, I’ll hit the breaks. The same old movie plays over and over, again with the subtitles. But, this time subtitles that count. We aim to show no emotions, even though we are always asked, “What’s the matter”.  In two, the weakly sleep ever so silent. Almost in that category, the restless have become tired. They are just good like that, even if they cannot see straight. As the night grows, they realize it’s not the same and won’t be for a longtime.

The view from here is unbelievable. The ground lightly covered with white powder. Complete silence. So peaceful, yet scary.

As I look to my left, I notice my friend disappeared. But his footsteps were still there.

My head is all ****** up now.

The wind picks up as I look up to the sky.

There he is, just hanging there. Ready to die.

The wind turns to whispers and the whispers turn to cries.
"You're the one thats going to die"

I look to my right, towards the dark green pine. And there he is standing there, black balloons for eyes.

The white powder dyed red. His voice stuck in my head.

"I brought you out here to die"  

I fell to my knees. It was the perfect plan.

Never go hiking "alone" with a "friend"

I* wear glasses to make me feel smarter.
I drive a nice car to make me feel like *I have money.
I quit coffee to tell people that I quit coffee.
I drink tea to make me feel better about quitting coffee.
I post pictures on Instagram, because I like sharing cool pictures.
I am stubborn and I have strong opinions.
I keep those opinions to myself.
I like talking - but, I would rather listen to others.
I love making people laugh.
I don't take anything too seriously.
I believe everything happens for a reason, even if that reason isn't evident.
I am caring, compassionate and honest.
I like where my life is at - but, there is still a piece of the puzzle missing.
I like adventures.
I like myself.
I am who I am.

Organizing the inevitable, while tracing the unforgettable
my tip toe getting typical, elusively apocalyptical.
Give this imbecile the instruction manual
to construct a tangible opposite of evangelical.

There he sat, on the porch of his dreams.
Starring out into the abyss as the wind kissed his cheeks.

His face blank, like a naked piece of paper.
Mind most likely debating whether or not to chase her.

It's happened before and it will happen again,
the shadows of loneliness were slowly creeping in.

His thoughts have driven their course, now he waits for the results.
A wait that seems never ending - maybe he should just bounce.

It’s just a common essence to
deliver such a presence, not
relying on the presents so that
we can learn some lessons. Drift
off, far from being found. Scaling
mountains in a single bound.
Reaching a commonality, between
our normativity believing in controllability.
We sit, we relax, we breathe. It’s all
okay, nothing but a real dream, dreaming
about reality. Drifting out to sea, seperating
everything between you and me.
We beg, we plead, we cry. Wanting
nothing, but for this dream to stay alive.
Without each other we feel lost, with
no place to hide. Pushed further away by an
increasing tide. Skies turn to black, before a
flash of light. Dream forgotten with the delivery
of sight. A flash of black and then light again,
the thought of such a dream, crossed the back
of my head. Dreams do come true, it just takes
time. I start my day, like any other,
drinking coffee and blowing a line.

Imagine taking thousands of dollars
and flushing it down the toilet.
  Imagine taking 4 years
    and making them disappear.
     Friends only remain,
      so to that, I will cheers.
       College education, what a waste.
      Applying to jobs,
     only to get **** on my face.
    Experience this, experience that.
   No one wants to give me a chance.
  Their loss, not mine.
 I think, I'm doing just fine.
I think.

Wandering through my mind like you're always there.
The smell of your detergent lingering in the air.

I grab your hand and from there we soar,
over the first place we kissed,
making history so much more.

Your favorite song playing from your eyes,
I star at you, as you watch the skies.

The wind gently strokes your beautiful hair,
as we float higher and higher to avoid the glare.

The sun waves goodbye,
putting blankets over our skin...

I look into your dark blue eyes,
kiss you and say:

"This is where our story... begins"

With my blue wide eyes, I see nothing but airplanes in the sky.
I reach up with my sun hands, trying to feel the warmth of the earth, but all I receive is cold world news. I consider myself a shape shifter, not able to camera talk since my message appears weak. I play my cards & quarters, ignoring the warning sign, about getting lost. Who knows who cares, words I carry deep in my heart, trying to live my cubism dream. There are stranger things in this world, that are held together with a sticky thread. It was always you & I, we just didn’t know it for so long, unable to move forward because of our heavy feet. We lay and look up at the ceilings, only to see a black spot millions of miles away. Riding breakers out into the sea, it's hard to believe only three months went by since I met you and you met me. Sometimes we get caught holding our black balloons, filled with feelings larger than a wooly mammoth. Remember our trip to Mt. Washington? We had that white stuff from Columbia, a week I’ll never forget. Reminded me of our first concert together at the The Bowery. It was in our Gorilla Manor, where we got Hummingbirds drunk, for no particular reason. We are nothing more than Local Natives, coinciding in a world too small, for the adventurists living inside us all.

the ocean between you and me
gleaming apollo
jellyfish are murderers
kaleidoscope
a lesser coming home
when will you come home?
a snow flake in her hand
i will break you
caverns
dance pianist
leaving the last behind
leaving my waiting room
silent picture
days all seem the same

I like cheese how about you?
American please.
Pie, try to dine at a diner.
Eating wine, at the winer...e.
Goodbye captain winter,
MVP of the whiners.
Chirp goes the bird, from out the window.
Chasing upset widows, by their shadows.
Off goes the black cat, who had a heart attack,
from smoking crack, mixed with a crushed up tic tac.

People:
I secretly hate you, like the mole on my back.  
I want to tell you off, but I have to watch my back.

Work:
My eyes are glued to the screen - like a mouse to a trap.
I just want that cheese, but my metaphor is weak.

Weak at the knees, it's making me queasy.
Life ain't easy, life ain't easy.

We saw our friend walking towards the school bus,
what he didn’t know was that there was two of us.

He put up a fight, but it was quite easy.
We stole his book bag and his new copy of Yeezy.

We took off down the street, the air quite hazy.
Mist falling from the sky making our eyes glaze-y.

Streetlights blur with the shift of our heads,
looking behind all we see are blues and reds.

This is it, this is the end.

Little did we know, our friend was dead.

The steam lifted from the mug, polluting the air with that fresh coffee smell.

As I glance out the slightly ***** window, it was just starting to sprinkle.
The leaves on the trees were dancing the rain.

A cool breeze found its way in when someone walked through the door.
It climbed up my spine, I've had this feeling before.

In the background I can hear people talking and coffee brewing.
Gentle background music gently kissing my ear.

I look back outside and there I am, standing in the rain.

What was I saying? I can't read lips.

That same chill climbed up my spine, but the door was closed.
I look back outside and I was gone.

What did I say?

I take a quick sip of my coffee, burning the roof of my mouth.
That's when it happened, the bright lights stunning my eyes. A red car crashed through the front window.

Killing me instantly.

**"Get out... get out now"

As I was laying in my bed, I noticed my eyes straining.
I wasn't blinking, so they were pretty dry at this point.
I reached into my night stand drawer,
pushed aside my grinder and grabbed the cure.

Eye drops.

I ******* off the cap, grabbed my left eye and up with the bottle.
As the pressure was building from my light squeeze, a glistening ball appeared at the tip.

The cure.

And then, it
dropped.

Causing a refreshing blur.

I looked up and moved my eye around…
and around before placing my eyes to the
floor.

Disregarding,
the floating woman at my door.

Dark abysmal, the lesser of two evils
The sound so vivid, deep with intensity
Awakening from slumber, but trapped in time
The night moves, as it dances with the wind
The end? Or the beginning? When given one choice,
Which one would you choose?
The beauty may lie within, so risk it if you may.
But you committed this crime of sleep.
The chair is rocking, but no one sits
Nothing makes sense anymore, not even you.
The choices are getting harder, it's all falling apart
Was it meant to be this difficult?
Was it all a lie?
How could one tell when nothing works
Lights in the distance flashing to the beat of your heart
You walk towards them, but they get further away
Roads turned into quicksand, swallowing you with every step
No one around to save you, sinking in your own fear
“Wake up” you tell yourself “WAKE UP”
Your covers engulfing you just like the quicksand
You open your eyes and you were back to where it all started
The dark abysmal…real life
Just as scary as the dream.

I'm almost 24.
I've never been on a plane,
need I say more?

It's quite pathetic, I know.
Confined to this imaginary box, that I call home.

Am I scared, maybe.

- - -
Are you scared Adam?
Yes.  
- - -

There is nothing holding me back,
so why can't I just go?
I've almost lived a quarter of my life,
thats a scary thought alone.

The difference between you and me
is the fact that I actually care.
You sit there, not giving a ****
while I sit here, giving too many *****.

I tried once before and I’m still trying,
but you’re not there and you never were.
You don’t like people changing for you,
but you’ll change for someone else.

Quit playing your ignorant games,
cause every time you lose.
You lost the most important game of your life…me.
And when you figure it out, I won’t be here.

So who gives a **** now?

The fantasyland you live in is a complete joke, where nothing is funny.
Have fun while you can, because once you grow up,
the mistakes you made are going to be bold in front of your face.
Don’t be someone you’re not, it’s disgusting.

I miss green grass.
I miss all of the different scents in the air.

The smell of chicken cooking on a grill.
A camp fire.  
The trees.

I miss leaves, on the tree or the ground.
It doesn't matter to me.

Walking outside in shorts.
A tank-top.
Barefoot.  

I miss spring.
I miss summer.
I miss fall.

But winter, oh winter.

I hate you.