Disclaimer. They already have this.
******* where was i

what happened to pokemon go,
I mean wouldn't it be cooler if
the pokemon you caught could battle later
and train them and do tournaments
that's the pokemon go
I woulda wanted
battle in an augmented reality,
virtually with strangers
I mean wouldn't it be hot if you said to some chicik
or dude,
hey my charmanders in close proximity of your squirt\
I uh mean squirtle
battle?
whilst wasted at the pub

In which we understand
That light is nothing more
Than darkness
Visiting a distant friend

In death we see that breath
Was nothing more
Than an endless suffering
Worth living in

In fate we know that decisions
Make the man
Out of dreams
He keeps envisioning

Out of hate we can make discipline
For every anger
Theres an ignorance
Which was once a simple innocence

And with my time on earth
Ive turned self affliction
Into scars which
Reveal my mortal blemishes
Its torture but i love more than
Just my self
And ill scream love before i finish this

Not down with all traditions
Man or woman
Who i should be kissing
Whats on television.
Trans feminine
drugs in retrovision
what did we invision.
Listen crystal clear
ntentions realistic.
Misogynistic ******
Lets get with it
women  talk....  you gotta listen.
Its funny to st in rehash this
How these women had me
Bitter sadly.
They watch me change
Too trans queen...
Hard for saturated trans fat in ******* black jeans.
With my **** fleek. *** cheeks..
last week
Rolled through black clouds.
Ominous.
Prominently rap sound
Dark brown black pound
******* him up in the back ground
Tell me what the ******* think of that
Clown

Listen to the Christians
*** they know the promise we
Yet somehow
Some astonish me
Hate the pride scene...
Just like God decreed
somehow there's no God for me
They'll call em ******* man
Acknowledge me
The actually bothering
Treatment of
those in
poverty
With out apology
Apostrophe

Here's an idea
To start a following
Start a performing trip
Lead with Vietnam War vets
Get the Porsche chipped....
And divorce yourself from
Forcing it
Klue Klux **** with groupies
You the goof performing ****
No klue in who be
Taking this **** before I force it in
*** hatreds ******
I ain't supporting it...

My mind ,, a masterful watch
Ever feeling
Distorting
Playing
It seems as though breadcrumbs
Dont become keys
To the dungeon doors
When no one can save the man imprisoning himself
the bread crumbs from bakers batch.
Excite the crows...
gathering like watchmen in the dark seconds in between.

It seems as though this story has been written before..
By the hands of another.
With no deception greater than the illusion of time.
Never knowing
Never needing
Always concealing
But fear not the seconds between,,
My story is nothing more than the ripples in the water
And the seconds between
Become the voice in which frees my soul

Heart break.
Massive slits to breathe
After we brake off this date n.
I need *******
Patience. Everlasting love
And conceptual culmination.
Into unfathomable creation.

I need time and space from your ******* face.
And every day that goes by
Notice. **** it I
I've become. A soldier. Of lifes battle cry.
You ******* trapped me so ******* bad. That i
became a picto graph  a flash away from being held for ransom.
In your scrap book. Kinda factory line
Instead I'm seeing jealous glances.
From you and my bestfriend up on your camera slides.
So **** if I.
Evoke a bitter feeling.
Can't stand it right
Sorry for the lack of healing.
But see the me beneath.
The demons.
And the reasons
We both cheated.
Is were both fractured living  damaged lives
Need to
Find a sea of urgent trust.
And retrieve. What trust we must ensure. So maybe we can survive
A choral reef of deep sea meaning
Unexplored. Unless your letting random guys come and land inside...
Oh fuvk I'm getting jealous.
I know its cancerous.
And you deserve to get so mad when I....
******* dance with devils rhymes
**** the chance of metal lids
Now existing in these images
I did drugs.
We both did some ****
We made some kids.....
We got it on. Now were stuck as dad and mom. In the abyss...
With out a clue a ****** hope in hell. And not a ******* *** to ****...
So excuse me
If my mood is rotten.
Think I've gotten more maladaptive.
Habits. In the 5 years we've been rocking this.
Than in some 20 ******* years.
Of smoking ***.
Popping pills. And kamikaze.
Flipping quads. Until
I'm ******* knocked unconscious *****

In this moment i feel fine.
Not trapped like falls foliage under neath winters white blanket.
Neither do i feel free
Like the fowl that flew south.
I feel somewhere in the awkward middle ground between
Flight and containment.
But what a beautiful feeling.
I may not be airbourne,
Honking with the lively flock of beasts
Seeking asylum from winters
Chillful howls.
But at least im above ground.
And thats encouraging.

flows is edible
like a ***** brownie''''
with the coming onslaught
my torments watching'''''
cancer devils
anemic screams,,,

the blood is haunting
in between my dreams,,,

with visions of
the girlie me ......
im imagining
perverted scenes....
with lesbians
and me in make up,,,,
shake her hair
**** when we wake up ,,,,

with a lot of darkness in my head.....
take time away
to dream of *** .......

my uncles dying
but theres still time
to spread some legs and have fine dining

In light we see, the blemishes,
Give me darkness i insist,
Neath raven skies
The rhyming mind
Exists but never lives

The light at first diminished
Lost from sight,
I Squint to find,
Was the progeny of truth
Inside I bitterly denied

The light at first a glint
Of hope,
Now shimmering and bright
Existing neath
The raven sky
Now living as the mind

Motionless resistance
Devoted. Bro.the  Flows now
Like knowing your ****.
Growing up with Christian's.
***** in.
The sin of knowing
more than being different.
Hoping someone listens
But god only exists in fiction.
Fairytales and during Christmas.


Living in the borderline
Blow
My nose
My throat is closing
When I snort a line....
Its *******  horror time...

my heart accepted defeat long before the light had left myhome
and
to know of satans sorrow was a truth that made the smallest smile i could summon a monumental victory.
alone with the ever slowing beats of my heart now completely unable to keep track of days and nights
and against the blood sky, time began to lose all intuitive wisdom.
and with the ******* of space and time came distortion.
ghouls and ghost became party guests
the foul sorts of scaly serpents and winged apparitions had gathered in rows in perfect stillness like marble chess pieces standing guard.
they seemed now like great guardians of my fragile spirit
losing hope in the home of horror
the scarlet sky now began to sound its final hurah before the life was to forsake this place. and so it stretched out its smoky hands like raven wings draping darkness over the horizon destroying the last light of what i once knew
and within was me,
accustomed to the demons devilish dance, a prisoner with no will to leave, nor any power to see beyond the tomb that felt like the only thrown i was to belong too
yep i was ******


years had passed this way, littered with tragic happenenings, broken relationships, addictions, and loss
yep i was ******
now as if by some sort of devine intervention i could feel the dry dead air come alive.the blood drenched sky had  stopped shrieking and as i raised my head in relief the horizon burst into brilliant trails of flame emitting hypnotic hues of purple and blue. crackling against the dead air like gun powder a blaze

and in the swell of confusion a sort of panic gave birth to momentum giving way now to a frequency with holy resonance, that filled my flask with potent tonic, upon drinking it began driving fire back into the abandoned forges of my humanity. from the depths of self denial i had emerged without the shackles of self deception to bind me, and from the grace of gods design i knew now i was forgiven

Living in a rotten train$$$$$
The floor boards
Have got some.
Gin and tonic stains$$$$$$$
Hooked on Phonix
was a proper way.*$$$$$
To say I like cds.
More than
My body in drag
Someone
Call up doctor dre.....&&&&$$$$$
Side note
For a stalker case$$$$$$$
You like music little loser
Don't be ******* dropping hate.$$$$$$

I could stock your place of residence
Like a Charlie Manson case.
Pull out the hockey tape.$$$$$
And separate your
Body weight.
From all the cancer brains.
That make the jetsons.
Look like copy paste.%%%^^^&*$$$
I'm futuristic.
Beautiful forensic.
Like a movie from elaborate
Candle fans
That gotta play
Director roger k"""%%%$$$
Louder than
Beats tuned from doctor dre$$%%%$/
An obnoxious way
To say
You couldn't stop
The onslaught.
If you had a drop of toddlers blood.
About to be immunized
Oh my God. Nahh wayyyy¥¥¥£¥¥£₩

Breathe and live.
Positive. Inviting every inch of me.
Testing waters.
Chemical inversion
My disturbance. Like a luxury.
So heaven like a tuxedo deal.
**** me see me luckily
Like coming up 7s real
While my stud husband
Cant stop ******* me.
My family jewels.
Tucked away. Dont **** with me.
Money comes so rare.
I swear.
I need to come up.
With a monthly.....
Self replenished
Money tree.....
And dont thinkbasis.
Is creative *** I made
The corners. Of the rug.
A ******* funny place
For pugs to ***.......
Them ugly looking *****
Something similar
To mister Donald Trump.
His ******* junk
Is made dysfunction.
The assumption. Being
Donald's *****.
Is the reason.
Santas fat *** replaced jesus as the meaning of the season.
I should pull meat cleavers.
Pull the lever.
Move the temperature.
To jam rock.
Mary Jane with solidarity. And reach a fever.
And create a religion solely baced on marley vibes. And make Donald first believer.
Launch a soaked ******. At his roster of bodyguards.
And tell himeat it. You big dumb ******* creature.
Back to shadow moves.
Chaotic evil is my breed
Of feature. So ****** feed my need
Or show me fear.
But never show me fakeness.
I'm made for basic. Greatness.
Blame myteacher.
And my leaders
Cant take it here's a spoon.
******* and tell me how it tasted

This is a man I just met that has now acquired
Sentient contract.
As prophet of virtue.
Who tells the script of angels lore
Love and prosperity of will soul and self love

Russ your on
From breach of eternal time.
Self love is global will
It is your children with self love who meditate
That inherit self esteem is with right standing with God.
Satan put a reciprocal mirror in hell.
To be the mark of the story
That is figuratives
That pales to Jesus obligation.
Culture of a morphing reality

First by reflection.^^^^
I've detected^^^^. My deepest weakness.))))
It's a beastly need.
For love. Its unrequited. Leads ta grief))))
And.
Second by devotion.
I've relieved ))my need)) to meet)) my needs))
Through other human beings.))
I've maintained that unwanted inner feelings)))
Are the map that drives my demons))
So I've ceased to feed the))
Devils that lay dreaming in my
Rhyme and reason)))

3rd by living in the moment
I've come to appreciate. My inner being*
As a temple. That is the centerpiece
To my inner chi.
And through it bend my energy.*
To raise stones from.
Mental defeatism
And raise courage
From a tiny beast
That symbolizes freedom)))

are oilers tickets available Tyson
*** you heard i was doing the same **** and it was believable
i project myself in the arena
and the oilers take the game
i heard you got a new girl now
and you never told nobody

whats some other **** people say around me
my sisters saypseudo intellect
and that its by way of control and predict
if i was ever to be a killer it would be ritually sick
i gave a devious look
but it wasn't like im twisted

i knew my cousin wasnt a ******
the instance that we met
al wondered how much of my last poem
was just said so it would fit
or wait itd be better if i regress
so i could remember every moment
with a better working head

cat doesn't believe at all im not wasting ******* breath
i cant tell these delusions from each other
so i end up out of breath

Andrew casman says im just somebody you gotta just accept
brad says share it with the world, we haven't killed you yet

he says when this does end
itll re hardwire in my head
i think im overdue this year my illness is turning ten

they gave me the antigen to purge the chemical
from in me
iu was waiting twice and felt so nice
until it crept its way back in me

logan mentioned that its no wonder id be an *******
after only thinking nice for so **** long
and before tony passed away he said i wasnt a bad guy all along
the list goes on and on a reoccurring problem
my conscious stir ups judgements
of the people i see most often
kassie roan said b.cs smoking crack
for thinking that im awesome
al said my conscience is a good reveal
of my inner psychies problems
there i tweaked that thought
to correspond with what im talking
Kenny says theirs a paradox between
the surface and what hides inside the closet
interesting theory Kenny
it deserves to be acknowledged
while my mom wants me to promise
that ill live a life of promise
its so hard to make a promise mom
when the talkings always constant
i take shots to stop the talking
but it s always same old topic
i cant walk into Walmart shopping
*** im bombarded by your *****
i developed life this way modeled
it to be un godly
now you know my symptoms
feel free to keep on talking

Your my sickness
Grip your ****
With iron fists
Ignore remorse.....

You fit in this
Equation
Like your divisible by 4....
Speaking of the position
*******
I was a stray before.....
A common ***** who laid
With any one
Who gave me ******* form....
You saved my lust
And caged it up
Just to make it into something more...
You make me weak
Faint to breathe
Im made to see this comes before
Anything else
Thats what i luv you for.....

Sentient husbands
The seed and pa jo Rogan
Fear factor. Steve stabwell honey
Something slumming Logan
And Michael as the mass hell coming

*** Steve is Michael
Logans Gabriel
Russ is prophet of the higher word
Titles bright. Angel saved from hell
The lord is blessing.
Morph. When russ lights his spoken torch
Without the **** ingestion
Or the sentiment slowing porch fire
Torch wired for the divorce of his flames
I'm investing

Divorce from angels title demon
Screaming.
Saving dreams from spoken reasons.
Satan was a being of greed and seeming
Prosperity. In finding need
To bleed for Jesus to be seen and
Hell to keep its disease.
Steven your seed will be breath.
Not to breathe with out his greed for your eternal strength and peace.
Logan knows his approach to baby wit
Ma will be slow but holding.
Boasting golden shields.
Jo Rogan terrified. Square lives.
He won't be allowed kani
Manta and his needs spared to nines....
For four square sentient wives
*** he spared shared lives.
Chris pratt.
No history his tatts.
Reveal shape-shifting gifted vision.
Spector. Television
The seed has intelligent
In medicine. He shall have seven children
Omasku Niskani will be with me in the veteran.
*** his younger will be indifferent to time.
With six with the 9.
Russ is signed to sentient contract.
With selling symptoms
He spits like Ali hits in prime.
The seed is god in his high. Try rhyming
With.....
As russ speaks he says
(Not in rhyme)
Timing. His ducks 7 sliding
Call him prophet giant.
Call his logic defiant. But his word is is his ****
So **** the truth.
It still sticks
The truth ***** but he's sick.

Realize eminem was lust but Kim has it..
Lock down.. on a love madness...
Hell thats sad practice...
If sad meant immaculate gravity
Of happiness...between a mad man
And a divine enchantress...
So I grab.. james mckokis
And transition...
Into woman from a bad habit...
Practically a man click
With a bad ****
Definition... claps the light in
Darkness of Sandberg
Time of sand between two
Sand hands shift...
My mom is spacial cosmic passion
Its wise to grab your chance
And he... Andy... sand man... sand berg
Has the last word....
Is it dog or dmx I love
or is ******* dog ****... become my tragic matter turned to bad word...
*** im rath rapture
In the last saturated hand of black dirt...
Before I bless half earth
With magnetic  aura...
Poring black dirt
Through ashes in a Moira...
Sanctum
My God will be the last verse
Last word
The son asks never the rapture

Digital existence. While the living worlds

Diminished.

Just for basic daily fitness

Some need virtual assistance.

Gambling drugs and women

The sky no longer is the limit

It's the satellites with in it

And if you got it you can spend it

Weapons. Brides and ammunition





If your boy ain't acting right dont hesitate act now and end it.

Why fix problems when

Online Youll find 10 other men 

That want to enter into friendship



Love is free. But who wants freedom

We need physical connection

Pof is great. 11 bucks a month

And  **** is endless

Period. End of the sentence.


Moving onto next 

You can alter your body  and dimensions.

So it's impossible to tell

Where photoshopped begins

And where you ended...

People get bullied on social media

Some first fight *** there unfriended

***** been going on for centuries

But the internet made it demented

Some ignore the petty ****

And do what the internet intended

Go on grindr. Order fireworks

And search the laws of natural selection

Flying here is alot like falling
Only falling here seems.....
To be like bumping into a long lost friend....
One your not quite sure
You had ever missed until
You speak again
The words spilling out
Like *** over poured inside a tiny
Flask....

You begin remembering dvery detail
Of those forgotten days
And memories seem
To reappear... only different...
Like you forgotten why
You had ever stopped trying to
Fly....

High as you were in those younger days...
At least theres braincells left
To recall why
Sometimes its best to
Leap in good faith.....
Remembering......
That only birds fly
But fallings bliss
And lifes not forever

That gross inside. May you never know my test
Inside a pillow talk on ambien near cardiac arrest...
Shackles of a kinder prison. Keeping me in chain...
Old places in a rearview left like dish soap in the drain...
Trees of green the breathing sky. I wonder by design.
The mountain line. Breaking the ground. Riding high.
And in my mind.
I find more dreams that make a man.
To understand I never could be something other than me

Hailey is my Angel's keeper.
Take me break me
Face my sacred healer...
I need her.
My creator...
She tastes like sweetest flavour..
Scars so deep.
Without her keeper of my angel is danger...
Shes a poem so wild that feeds an ocean so deep. The streams and rivers hate her....
So beautiful.
A mother sky. Could free. Her tears with laughter.
Shes a damaged lullaby.
Springing into my lonely heart..
She sees fabric.
She mends tarnished cloth
Of my stitching as it falls apart....
I **** at poetry but I love you hailey so much

Confessional.
Open up let's examine truth.
For two seconds.
I'd move heaven
And the planets. To have that with you
You don't have a clue.
But you actually do.
And thats where plans I've made
Might stand a chance
Of fruition... plants that actually bloom
And can come true.
While my innerchild retreats.
I see my dreams like Saturn's moon.
Revolving around a planet.
Based on all your talent
And the love I have for you....

Do you ever see a wishing star.
And imagine you already have it.
Can't be death without
Destiny.
If God played a hand in planning.
So I sift through sands
On the beach of madness.
With an hour glass in my right
And a map to becoming Stan fan
Number one with out the current traffic.
Get it... current traffic.
Slur my words.
Thank God I **** left handed.
*** its taking so long
My hour glass is like a fertile birth of sand pit.

Disfigured type of senses.
I figure God has got it
I think I got it
My body needs freaking audit.
My nasal blockage
Caused by...
Little rocks.
That get you feeling awesome...
I hate the monster
I keep in the closet.
I feed it ****. And pure *******.
So it'll will clean the carpet...

But deep inside
I dream of fleeing.
For the Belizean tropics.
Green trees.
Cool water.
And freedom.
From keeping secrets.
In the deep dishonest

In close you see the soulless monster
addiction swelling goblins concert
Pharmisists are God
And God's synonymous with doctor
Rehabs not an option.
When your the sheep being taught your  meant for slaughter.
Promise
I'll go broke to know my honour
When my Hope's have
Flown alone. Like whisps
Of smoke upon the water...

My words are foreign
So is yours.
Scholastic. Drastic. Calamitous
I fall free form on to the floor

My tongue a foreign tool
Sweetly understood as drunk...
A sunken pirate ship
Burdened heavily so wonderfully
Not plundered of its ***

My oxygen becomes. The sun.
And fragments of my stomach run into my blood.
So
Fun like ufc. Just as dumb at second glance.
Im just running round the pub trying to shake my *** not spill thy glass

You can imagine. Im melodic
Bloodshot folds im looking from
The dreams in waking moments
Crumble like the sand beneath my tongue....
A crude extraction of genetic
Traits
Passed down from my mum
So kiss my cheek
Lets walk you home
I think this pirates way too drunk

kindness is perfection
its a promise humans made
to keep the thoughtless hate from tainting
the water that we drank
and in this promise there is honor
taught from father to his daughter
taught from mother to her son
in hopes hell teach it to his daughter
i truly know of karma
and i pray to find forgiveness
you may rando call me a hack
but don't knock it till you've lived it ***** ****
ive slit my own wrists
and drank the blood
*** i was different and ****** up
im a pervert and i luv it
im a master at the ****
im bi ****** and ghetto
kinda ****** with my luck
i wripped my gfs ***** with my **** she had top get
stitches in her  ****
i ****** a dog and got arrested im the reason for the term
i cant believe that i was the fastest swimmer in dads *****
i smoke a lot im alcoholic
im high on coke inside my house right now getting this **** out
i was gang beat as a teenager and i never really made it out
i could have turned into a ******* with out a doubt
if things came differently about

i ****** phrenic diagnosed i take a needle to stay sane
i fantasize about my face some time implanted in the grave
i made myself so famous everybody knew my name
*** i said i was a killer and i sent him to the grave
slowly people set me off i did it to be known
i wanted any kinda love that i never got at home
i hear voices in my head of people likle you calling me a hack
heres a fat glance at my massive *** crack you ******* *****
you never loved me *** you judge me with out seeing past the flaws
again i state if your still starving you can ******* lick my *****
what else, one time i beat my sister *** she was hiding the remote
i pulled a knife on her another time *** i was suddenly provoked
saying all these things reveals to my self how bad i am
i guess i never said it openly the coward that i am

i draw demonic faces
ive drank blood just for the taste
my gfs monthly always tasty
i never let it go to waste

im addicted to ******* and i believe i need to feed
i even conconcted a race of imaginary people just like me
were called oumarro but im lonely *** i ******* made them up
cant you tell im ******* lonely and being inside me ******* *****
i hung out with tough guys thinking i was tough
but i was ***** when push came to shuv
never backing no one up
i even cried like a lil **** when someone stole my drugs
im ******* tell you my demons have you ******* had enough?
ive been to the nut house 11 times
they watch you as yuou shave in case the day
you take that razor blade and carve your name in ****** grey

i had a vinerial disease contracted from a ***
i ****** her in the hospital just after she ****** my bro
i started getting bumps around my ***** fro
but i don't really know
ive had unprotected *** so much never getting tested
theres a good percentage risk that ill die before im old

i could have saved my dad i shoulda knew it was a stroke instead i cleaned his puke and changed his clothes and went home to drink some more, he died slowly fading 3 days later in a brain dead
i remain emotionless about it *** i kinda ******* hate him

there you go you want more
could you handle all my scars
im the farthest thing from decent person you've ever seen thus far
im the reason why a demon sleeps no farther than fifty yards from where i park

after dark i dream of being ***** i luv the thought of choking
for a man to force my throat until im drowning in his dopamine
i pretend to see the future and i have some folks convinced
the only problem is im wrong 100 percent

i told facebook i had aids to keep girls away as if theyeven wanted me, i made a statement in that post so it looked like girls were constantly bothering me,

for a while i couldn't leave my hotel room
*** i thought the government were going to body me
a tactics unit meant to **** me cusi was turning the wolf into a modern dream.

a common theme in my problems see is that im a monstrous demonic wannabe,
but enough about the honest me
lets sit and watch you constantly
transmit your thoughts
to all around and see you slowly rot
inside your honesty
oh wait theres more
i ****** off in front of my brother when we were little kids out on vacation
i mistreated my first girlfriend till she took a serated blade and slit her legs up
than i found a way to thank her
we had *** and than i left and went and banged a total stranger
i use to date a rehabilitated escort
found her giving head to her cousin on the next floor
so i stole her bike andpedalled home like i was going to *** the next *****

have you heard enough? i guess im done. no wait i left out more

i cheated on my girlfriend twenty times while high on *******
id spend hundreds on mascara make up ******* than id go gay
while she was stuck at home raising my kids getting no thanks
i was ******* off a bald and ugly toddler size ******* ****
like no thang

i think that's it did i mention im ****** im bi ****** i like being *****, i thought i was a murderer, i ****** a dog and got arrested for it,
i dress like a girl,im an alcoholic drug addict, im a *****, and apparently im a ******* hack of a writer, well there you go this was absolute garbage for you hope you read some more **** face

Breaking bones.
Break my face.
Inside a voice thats laced with hate it tastes
Like sour grapes. And stains
The shades of make up on my face..
Until it becomes a break against the tidal waves.
That brave the way. To break against the colossal. Impossible odds. The stones. That make me feel this way...
Like hands massaging.. me.
My arteries.
The marching feet. That carry. All of me. To deposit blood upon the sand...
Acknowledge me.. again
As not a man. But a goddess. In the grand...
And make honest thought to keep me in your plans..
When you want to be my man...
*** pain ain't strange...
When beauty. Comes from scars.
That shape my skin.
Like Mark's upon a treasure map....
The pleasures max.
And now my spinal makes a final crack...
And lines of marching. Ants.
Take sweet sugar. From my hand and plant it in my mammogram.
When feet feel cozy.. my nose gets rosy. *** I focus on that. So mybody pain ain't half as bad.
How does God manage that.
My wrists crack. And my face racks.
Tackle matter in my ***.
And spread mass to make it fat.
Like every chick. Who ******
The guys I liked.
And left their heart.
In bags. For trash. So they could cry to me.
And ask for guidance. *** I'm a man.
And not an object for attachment.
******. God if you want my ****.
You can have it back.
******* snap my back.
Compress my tissue. Bone
And body fat.
Until I scream. For mercy.
Little *****. See blackness
Smell disaster.
Should come faster. But I'm scared
With every fraction.
Of Intelligence. Still left.
Inside this shattered mind.
Left behind
By peers. Who grew in comfort
While I became an addict.
And a savage
Just to hide the sadness in my eyes...
So my dad. Could laugh and mask his
Hiding lies behind depression.
Regret. And life lessons
I held to hide.
Like every girl has thoughts about her father
When their nine.
So I did every opposite..
At development. And centered life around a lie.
That creeped inside.
Like snakes to slide. Like leather hide that hides a knife.
Inside a pocket where no mods can grow
Although its wet inside
But that's my life. I need to try.
And live it right.
I love my kids and popcorn.
But the rest was just inside.
I ****** everybody's life.
So it's time to dusk the fields
So moons can rise. And light the
Paths. Of every mindful ray of light left in my eyes.
And still my tummy rumbles.
It's a jungle when harambe.
Captive.
Lashes out against. A cavity
Till it breaks.
Like waves against the sand.
And shake my hand.
And say my name.
It makes me wet. To
Know you want me.
Now that I dont want you back

I believe in truth/
the breach between freedom and captivity
where my restraint becomes surrender
and temptation overturns it simple fun for common sense
never forget im the border between your dreams and what you thought possible
and with every waking moment I pray you find the lust of life out weighs your fear
***
**** your fear your amazing

its revolting, my scars are open
can you throw the first stone to smote em'
im the sutre torn apart till the flesh falls off the bone and
don't forget the shady residue that lingers on your teeth
is the secrecy that keeps you secretly like me

. no need for proverbs here
to solve this problem here
im a flow like faucet water
than disappear in smoke and mirrrors
im the product of disease
the problem fostered by my peers
who never had my back
and it bothered me for years
they tried to fix the problem
but it haunted me to tears
i watched my father turn his temper
to a weapon when im near
couple years i started feeling weird
my friend became my fantasy
i startedthinking **** im ******* queer
this isn't really  happening
but instead of facing facts
i feared of what the **** id here
from the ****** hating friends i had
that never seemed to care
so i started fooling with a dog
to make my urges less severe
but the worthlessness emerged
the surface looking perfect,
while  regrett became a constant
it was like walking in a moshpit
watching bodies drop like dog ****
i was doing lots of drugs alone
and nobody here  could stop it
id just go down inside my room
and keep coughing in my coffin
id been lonely all my life what
was another day, no problem
when your haunted


what do you do when you cant breathe
everything seems like a bad dream
the shilouette of memories between the credits and the last scene
turn into photographs you imagine but you  cant see
*** if you ask me, i    just wanted to be happy






life became a story book
and in it i was cautious
not to eat the toxic spores
that made magic mushrooms
feel so awesome
i started selling *** i thought hey cool
i get acknowledged
i had a gf that was freaky
and i was giving non stop ****
she use to be my locket and my
heart would be the lock pick
we did a lot of drugs and ******
but i was fighting with her constant
my jealousy enveloped me compelling me
to drop it
so one day my bro got talking and we ran away to dauphin
ill be honest it wasn't five star it was kinda like the projects
but i just wanted to get my **** inside a **** ******* squa *****
so i musta fathered many children that haven't try to call yet
but **** it next what happened i was at a social dance and
some gangster started scrapping next he asked me something
but i never really answered
so he ran to mike and smashed his jaw like it was ******* soft as plastic
i started into panic *** i wasn't use to scrapping
i went out to the field he disappeared like it was magic
than about this time i realize im going to get my *** kicked
i asked for peace instead im greeted with a right hook landed on my **** chin
i started seeing white like extraterrestrials just landed
i threw my hand so fast he landed on his back after i smacked him
and than it was my time to get my ***** lil *** kicked
i blacked it, time elapsed in a flash of what happened
i tried to stand than ******* ran
before i started collapsing
i took it like a ***** but i wasn't use to that action
i made the trip to the emerge
but felt a mental reaction
in the days that ensued i began cracking my head like a gasket
i wrote a blood stained letter to my friend i thought backstabbed
i began imagining the bad things that happened
my memory was fuzzy like a caterpillars back is
i developed mental illness as fast as you spell dummy backwards
i started hearing this chatter, became mad at their laughter
i was convinced that i had died andwas a new person after
but no matter,
shortly after i was prescribed me some pills
i was now a cog inside the mind of the mentally ill
my dad was distant from me *** i looked ready to ****
but still i was confused, overdue for some answers
instead i found a way to make myself a societal cancer
the noose began to choke in, the hope i had i still mattered
i met a dysfunctional partner, and began falling backwards
we had two kids there after, it compacted the matters
i shattered like glass and returned to my habits
soon me smoking crack was not unusual practice
but im too high to re hash the badshit
so ill let you have this crotch grabbing
impression of Michael Jackson
till i beat it for you ******* billie jean
was an unmatchable actress

ive been catching fire flies
baby just to try
to make the light you shine
when your crazy eyes meet mine

maybe im not sure what i did to make you mine
maybe its the way your candle lighs
making me flutter butterflys
its my stomach getting nervous twisted tied
up every time




girl im just catching fire flies

time is going by so crazy just to watch you drive
hitting ditches swerving dirt roads
like you do it all the time
the moon in front
so keep your eyes on mine and never let me go
im catching light inside your eyes
every time that mine are closed












i

Trying to present my self as intellectual.
Makes me look like im pathetic.
I flow like water in the ocean.
Get it going like diaretic.
Spider senses start to tingle.
For the web site Christian mingle. Where I met a guy named
Shannon  bingle. Man actually had me shingle
Married to the roofing life.
Like Taylor Mackinney to her kraft singles.
Cheesy as they come. Logan gablehouse.  Is greasy.
The world is
thirsty for the fast deal
Sign like handcock on the contract.
Pro ball scholarship
But give handjobs in the back field.
Tyson smokes so much Marijuana
He knows how being black feels
When interrogated by the cops
Paranoia he doesn't act real.
My mom thinks she's European.
No native blood.
I asked her how does that feel.
She replied in French with Jordan gablehouse. Do you wanna taste your last meal...
J said you *******. Tell me how the grass feels.
And keegan just like forest Gump.
Hes dashing through the back marsh
To avoid the dudes with fast cars
Who blame him for doing bath salts...
Jack jack wanted aish so bad.
He collapsed in madness with me **** it yesh man thats real. And sad
Drugs I'm so disgusted by. I'm bring serious to say this jack. Man
You gotta say your peace. To the fake back stabbers and not take it ******* back
Get clean and sober. Stay on track
With medication.
And watch how much fakeness your closest friends shape shift and react
Funny stuff aside.
Manas really great with that.
She took two dumb ******* crazy rats.
Caged in habitat. And made them slay a crazy rap....than slaughtered them for science. Donated their *******. To science. Experiment gone violent.
She's not ok with that.
Karmin is an angel.
Thinks she names all that.
Inside her head. A secret undercover braniac.
And Riley is an amazing man.
Talented and brave as stan
But I didn't tell you.
Stan is my fan name.
When I'm ****** mister nameless slim shadey type of ****. To some gangster jams....
Grandma Gisele is a thank you mam
Do you actually spank the ham
Like Christmas web cam. Food. ****.
Christmas day. You can thank my hand....
Richard gablehouse. Was pregnant with a chicken glaze.
He undressed food so many different ways
Little booties on the Christmas bird.
Bout to expose those little legs...
Oh its just humor ***** slip off the case.
I love my dad yo pieces.
There's a reason I'm a little raged.
No one seen the terrifying look
He harbored just for me.
When I didn't obey....
We got over all that.
Cleared that **** away
We had to make up. Every 15 seconds
New fight but its a different day
I feel bad. But hey its meant this way...
Alex Fanta was in debt to native medicine that made him good and gay...
His wood is great... i hear Scott hedge brag. You thought I didn't love you guys cmon. Don't be dumb AND gay
I woulda say.
She should stayed.
But cherry your a woman stain.
You look like hulk had a vasectomy and you got the ******* stuff that hangs...
Just kidding love you babe. I'm just trying to be funny.
Scare you
Cherry you ******* dummy.
I'll always provide for you with money.
But you gotta be so ******* stun. You refuse me rights. To my kids who absolutely love me.
I said ill always take care of you.
But your going to have to stop being a dummy....
Derek Moore you mega *******.
Your nieces self  esteem is ripped. And all your other kiddies jeans. *** you had to be inside  it you ******* *******...... go eat a demons ****.. id rather be a traffic cone in **** t least you'd see my **** than be your only reason why you didn't commit suicide when God agreed with it..  at least coulda did it for the ones you loved. I know thats fuckinv mean and **** but next time you **** with me jm going to have you seeing ****...
Cherry entire family. Hold up freeze it quick. While we're out and telling secrets quick.
I ****** Ashley's boyfridnds ***** yep. At least before you two met.
I did alot of foolish ****.....
Corsette and lingerie. And of course his *** stain ruined it...
Just kidding couldnt get him off. Or even fit it in. No room and ****.
He got the hugest ****.... don't know how you don't get split in two and ****... ******* ruined *****
Or at least get **** sized bruises on your ***** and hips.
Whatever not 100 percent certain but I hope if it is true you say your cool with it.....
Dylan Hutchison I love you but you never grew up actually knowing me.
You kids **** on your dad. I know it hurt you but it had broken me...
I get it he was drunk and druggy.
But he loved you two so devotely.
Just wish you had some time.
While he was living to start showing me. You were open to him emotionally
I get it. You were busy.  Coulda sent him via email. artwork dreams and poetry... so he knows how much you truly love him.
Beneath the disconnection. Tell him how bad a place your feeling come from...
Moving on. Forget deceased.
There's still a bunch of dumb *****.
Reese swampy drop your pants punchline like 8 mile at the lunch truck...
Lyssa let's get frisky. While your cats lick my nuts like going down after 60 rounds suffering they ******* punch drunk....

Sha you **** ***** I still got a **** lets make it happen...
Prefer dudes. But who's to say a little **** show couldn't happen.
We actually had a ******* with hot muscled Travis.
We got his **** in me my **** in you
And did a little jordan sandwich...
Sheldon chartrand I masturbated thinking of you ******* me ******* it....
You could slam the pack of shingles fast. So **** black and tanned yep...
Thought about your fast hands so hot like a math lab with the Cranstons...
Exploding for Chris Roan.. who?? Chris roan... a sickness no different from cancer... i felt so much love for you. But had no ******* hope or answers... you didn't know I was this way inside. Just the way God had to plan it.... you coulda made me feel included though with out you I couldn't understand it.....theres was just this separation. Anxiety. And sadness...renuka your my favorite. Of all my mental workers...
I came to you a creep hell bent on ******. And you repurposed my inside sanity. Restoring me to perfect...
Cleared my name to child service workers..
And did me such a service...
Ryan too and garry. At least you guys live through your purpose...
Helping hand and gentle hands.
Reach every different person..
Liseanne your ******* gorgeous.
Picture perfect
**** enormous... but you set me up for stis in your quest to send off young Brianna... i got chaffing in my ****.
*** you hooked her up with more dudes. Than rihanna...
In the back of your mini van or suv can't stand it but the infection had been managed...
Sorry rihanna... I love uou your thr best so beautiful can hardly stand it
I'm rambling oh yeah let me be candid. About Travis. Matron was his last name. And he smoked crack so ******* savage.. child psychologist slash roofer. I actually believed you in a panic... don't know who's stupider. The dude who won the poker game for hoarding the titanic or the dude that.
Lost his pride and got his poker *** kicked...
Jade my truest form of poetry in nervous flight.
My girl of mine.
My nervous rhymes.
Could not muster up at courage time..
Your my first love.
For a reason the best is always first in line..
But I ****** and hurt your mind...
With my words and worthless spine..
You deserve so much in life.
I hope you know I think your worth our time...
Like a child is bursting with a nursery rhyme...
Okay its ******* ****** time...
Steven Irvine your a word so
***** it perturbs my mind.
Disturbed that I. Would like you to have courage. And turn your rap gift into words that rhyme and.
******* merk the earth this time...
Tyler moose you ***** line.
Sniffed off jet lis little ****...
You **** more ***** than Jason Bixby.
Holy **** he takes alot...
Its cool though. Say im sorry...
My motto is keep on trucking...
So much more ok so **** it..
I'll keep rambling on bout nothing....
Kayla gambler think we made a babie.. but you didn't tell me...
I hope whoever she belongs to that she's happy safe and healthy...
Nolan Robb I'm sorry for saying you ****** **** for crack. At the time my thought was that was wack. Until I sunk as low as that... current day just ****** an old guy for a sack of Molly and an open pack.... Daryl Marshall your a good dude... but your ****** up deep inside.. i can see it in your eyes... your scared of being wrong and aldo being right... you fear failure fear success. And you fly off the ******* handle... ive seen my dad get mad but jees loiuise he couldn't hold a candle...
You make Rambo look like prolapse ****** sagging in the sun...
Old ******* on your rage is much more destructive than a gun....
Jordan Marshall your a *** stain that should sat on Michelle's tongue....
Swallowed did a good job. Just ******* kidding bud.... your pretty ******* funny. And also pretty dumb ..
But at least your not like Tyler marsh shoving fisher price toys in his ***....
Oh please I got uou all beat and then some the world knows my story...
Would you call it boring... **** no.
But I no longer want the sea being stormy. I just wanna find one man after surgery get ***** and tilt his single axis planet into orbital retraction. Supernova. Every morning. ****** sweaty pores. From ***** inter planetary pornscenes.. but first I gotta morph. Into a woman so I feel more like my self inside. Its more rewarding..
To not ignore your thoughts. To have some wants. Take off early system warnings. Relax. And dream of rap gods. Jesus. And the last 15 years of poor me...



...

forget everything ive ever said,,, yes
heres Elliot ness
your my chaos distress,
and though deliverance is petty
im a devilish mess
ive invested many seconds
in this life of pretend

but im invested in it
till you suggested that it
could be a second in time
if i forgive and forget

nuff said
your eyes, the calm quiet of night before the stars hide from the day
your heart, the warm touch of fire before the flame dies
and in this thought my only hope remains
that when the well runs dry
ill still hear your whistle in the swaying pines
and my life with you means more than the loss i forgot
and the loss left behind

and if you knew the love
i have in my heart for you was the same
as the day that we met
would it tell you to stay

write your name on a piece of paper now your familys gone
...... tupac

death without cause is injustice
so trust is lost with life in injustice
and life with in injustice is a survival tactic
so the rats become the numb
to morals
feeding from misery
like blood seeping from the wound
and still the lord became the monster that would bare
the sins of the wicked
but dare not speak of jesus for blood becomes currency and nobodies safe

Dime type boy with an expensive tag
Simon knows I'll dress in drag
Science says drag equals
Friction
Think like a chick
My strange addiction.

Hooked on Phonix but cant really read
Hydroponics with lots of ****
Chronic equals lots of letters
Like blaze a j.
                      O.   it cant get better
                       I.      feel dope
                      N.         its smoky weather
                      T.              for time out
j.o.i.n.t effort together

My mind needs to be effected
Corrective  Surgery suggested
For the purple leaves and ******* crush I've just  ingested... infected
Like a parasite
With little legs.
A hairy chest.
And garys ******* famous vest....

My co chair next to me. Is trained in taekwondo
And unprotected **** ***...
You flex you face
A man that cant abstain from ***
Hell **** you
Than bear mace your naked ***.
And break your legs and neck...

The voices in my head.
Say I didnt want to say this.
But it's funny take a joke.
Smile your white.
And I just may be a racist

Ministry of sciences.
Divorce me.
From my liveliness...
I supported
Notions of foreign beings
Coming to earth
Disguised and *****
as merciful
Or violent...
But maybe were alone
In this black swirl
Of lifelessness. And timelessness
I wish I was a rocket scientist
But cant operate rocket man appliances....
******* it Elton John
You sold me bad goods
Don't try denying it....
Hiding it
Or fighting it...
My mind is like Alcatraz
Some **** escaped
And survived.
But nobody's ever tried to
Get inside of it....